The Abbeville press and banner. (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, April 02, 1879, Image 1
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ABBEVILLE PRESS & BANNER. |
BY HUGH WILSON AND W. C. BENET. ABBEVILLE, S. C., WEDNESDAY, APRIL 2, 1879. NO. 43. * VOLUME XXVI..,,M
The Song of the Uplands. j oi
Ob, better a glimpse of a star j
That may never be reached but be hoped for, | ^
Oh, better a grand life afar,
That at least in the mind can be groped for, -g
Than to have all the senses desire,
And all that the passions require; V(
But no more, bnt no more. a;
Oh, better a faith that can cope
With the doubts of the world and can *
qnicken; I 01
Oh, better a life that has hope
To illume it, though poverty stricken, j g(
Than to have all that riches can biro ^
Or bny, so to feast and not tire, I
But no more, but no more. 01
Ohj better love that is blind,
That can see in the loved one no badness;
6(
Oh, better a trust in one's kind,
Spite of all of its folly and madness,
Thau to stand all alone mid earth's mire, ^
Having food and raiment and fire.
But no more, bnt do more. h,
f ?Edward S. Creqmer. m
h<
ADONIS, M. D. o"
" I forbid you my bouse, do you bear,
Bir?" screamed Mr. Chickjove, pnrple gV
with rage and stamping" like a cockatoo, j)
14 Well, but since Mrs. Chickjove sent
for me "?pleaded Jack Halliday. BE
"Mrs. Chickjove is a silly young ot
woman, vrith whose feelings yon have j ^
presumed to trifle," roared her'husband, i jj
flourishing bis umbrella from the door- | ??
step. " Now, sir, be off; I've had I
enough of tbis. My patience has been sa
driven to extremities.
"As you please," said Jack. "My j
visit was professional; but, since you > ?
refuse to let me see your wife, who is I J^
ill and who has summoned me, be good !
enongb to give ber this box of pills." j ,
The pills spurred Mr. Chickjove to i
exasperation. He took the box ont of ,
the young doctor's bands, threw it on ,
the ground, stamped upon it, pressed
his heels on the pills as tliey rolled
about, and concluded this little per- !UE
formance with anexnltingyell. "There m
sir ! so much for your physic! I scorn W(
it and you, too! Aha!" saying which yc
Mr. Chickjove opened bis honsedoor
with tllatchkey, wagged bis hoad fierce- sa
ly at Dr. Halliday from the threshold,'
and then went in, banging me aoor wun rsuch
violence that it made all the "
window-panes- rattle. The doctor re- P
mained outside. ja'
He shrugged his shoulders and strode *?
away down tbe street. One night
have expected him to exhibit some P
excitement at the manner in which he
had jusfr been treated; but ho seemed
to have his reasons for preserving a
oomplete equanimity. A few minutes'
pensive walk brought him to a side
street of fashionable appearance, which
he entered, and at the third house rang 0E
the bell. "Is Mrs. Marrable at home?"
asked he of the smart maid who answer- bl
ed his summons. "Yes, sir,'-'said the bi
damsel; but she put a forefinger to her da
lips, and with a mysterious look sti
whispered: "Hush, sir; he's come I" th
" Who's come ?" inquired Halliday, ps
astonished. lot
"'Missus' brother, sir; and oh, my, if
what a row he's made! Yes, sir; please gi
to step in. These last words were spoken
aloud and with considerable fluny, for wi
the maid had espied a tall, lumbering ra
figure darkening the end of the passage. b?
The figure stared with all its might at gl
the doctor. The doctor accosted it tn
blandly; but a wave of the hand mo- Ci
. tioned him to step into the parlor, and G
there he was confronted by a massive, gt
square-jawed person, six feet tall and th
broad in proportion, who, in a deep bass fa
?oice that seemed to come up like a or
miner's from the shaft of a pit, said: to
r\? 1 T* wrtr?f
illy uhiilt? 10 vjuca1u, UU.S.l jl ttojui; iu v*
know what is the matter with my sister ?" wi
"Really, Mr. Gnckin, there is not to
much; a slight cold?vapors." w:
" Then why have you paid her fifty- in
Bix visits in the course of five weeks?" gr
" I can hardly tell," stammered Halli- to:
day, uneasily; "ladies are sometimes
anxious about themselves, you know, er
The least thing alarms them." hi
"Enough; I know your game, my wi
man," interrupted Mr. Guckin, appre- mi
hending the doctor by the enff as if he la<
were a prisoner, and staring iuto his
faoe with an evil glare. " Yon'va heard he
of Palmer, the Rogeley poisoiier, haven't T1
you? and Smethurst* another doctor? ot
and Castaign, and Lapommeraie, ed
Frenchmen, doctors and poisoners, too? nc
and of that physician lately hanged at fu
Edinburgh for poisoning his wife, eh ? hi
You'll swing, too, if you don't mind, lit
You've laid your plans for marrying my th
sister; but as she's too old and ugly for "
you to love, you just think you'll under- wi
mine her health first, so that she may
die as soon as possible after the mar- dr
riage, and leave you her money. Well, di
well, just try it. Go up stairs and see
Mrs. Marrable now, if you like; but, m
mind, my eye is on you." pi
" You can't think that, after what you Pi
have just said, I Bhould consent ever to th
step into this house again ?" ejaculated
Jack Halliday, as he disengaged him th
. Beli, witn a Durnmg spot on eitner jo
cheek. be
" All right; that means that you are ad
going, doesn't it ? Or is it only a bit P<
of show-off ?"
"It means that I am going this min- sa
ute, and?and I'm ashamed of yon, Mr. as
Guckin. Good-night." ah
" Go to the deuce 1" said Mr. Guckin; rn
and he, too, having shown the young
doctor into the street, slammed the door fii
with quite unnecessary noise, * fo
This time Jack Halliday did look a 1 er
little npset. He bit the corners of his ! so
whiskers, pulled down his waistbands, ! te
and appeared anxious to do battle with j m
somebody; but presently the humorous j w<
aspects of the situation bo>ke abruptly j isi
upon him, and he laughed. His step hi
was elastic and steady?by no means of le
a would-be poisoner?as he trudged off sc
to pay the last visit on his list before be
going home to tea. It was seven o'clock
of a winter evening, and the lamps :.in yc
that suburban distriot of London where
our scenes are laid had been flaring in
these two hours. Dr. Halliday made di
for a row of semi-detached villas, and gi
knocking at the door of a house with a It
pretty garden in front,was admitted with- fe
out any fuse. Here his reception was cor- y<
dial. A fox dog frisked out, barking a b\
welcome and wagging, his tail; 6ome m
children came romping down the pas- ar
sage to be kissed, and it was under the : dc
lead of these little people, the one pull- of
ing him by the hand another holding ] lii
on to his coat skirts, and a third climb- ol
e ing on to his back, that the doctor made
his entrance into a parlor where a hap- w
py family party were mustered. The p*
owner of the houge was Mr. Daisop, a w:
little, jovial business man, husband of ki
a jolly wife, and father of a flock of wi
children. w
He sat near the fire reading a news- d(
paper, with a oouple of rosy brats crow- G
^ng at his knees, and two more sprawl- in
ing 9n the hearth-rug.. Hali-a-dozen yt
boys and girls, between ten and sixteen, sii
were gathered round the table playing se
loto, and the eldest daughter, a cheeful w:
girl of twenty, was working beside her T1
mother, and casting occasional glances bi
toward a Bofa, where lay the beauty of
the family, a sweet, golden-haired girl p<
of eighteen. Before the doctor's entry tb
the beauty had been laughing at somo st
joke of her brother's, but seeing Halli- in
day, a gleam lit up her eyes, a faint blush F:
overspread her cheeks, and she let her m
4 bead sink on her pillow in an attitude b<
t delicious languor. When the choruf
i greetings had subsided, the doctoi
>ok a chair beside tho sofa and shooli
ands with the beauty.
"Well, how do you feel to-day, Mist
imily ?"
"So weak, doctor," murmared a sofi
)ice, and a pair of blue eyes moistenec
i they looked into his.
"The poor darling has lost her app&
te; she could eat nothing at dinner,'
lid Mrs. Daisop, n tall, florid and buxm
lady.
" Oh, mamma I that was because sh(
;nt out Jane an hour before grub-time
? buy her two sausage rolls, three rasp
erry puffs aud a Bath bun," exclaimec
ae of the brothers at the table.
? tlinoa fvlinnti Vinvn t" rrmftflrfwi
[re. Dai^op; but Dr. Halliday pretend
3 not to hear. He felt Beauty's pulse,
id the moment his hand touched her'e
le girl quivered from head to foot,
gituted by spasms, as if the shocks oi
1 electric battery were running through
sr, she forced a handkerchief into hei
outh; but at last she could contain
srsell no longer, and burst out into s
mentable wail, followed by a torreiil
: tears.
" Ah ! Nervous debility; outdoor ex cise
will cure that," remarked the
jctor as he rose from his chair with
rofessional composure; but he was
irprised to notice that Sir. and Mrs.
aisop, instead of seeming alarmed ai
leir daughter's 6tate, were exchanging
ailes. They beckoned to him to come
it of the room, and he accompanied
em into Mr. Daisop's study. There
r. Daisop, having closed the door,
ive Halliday a friendly pat on the
listcoat, and grinning from ear to ear,
id:
" Now my dear fellow, wo quite ap eciato
your delicacy in not having
ioken out your sentiments till now;
it we think, for our Emily's sake, that
e time has come when vou oucht to
;clare yourself."
" Declare what ?" answered the docr.
" I assure you Miss Emily is in no
mger."
" Come, come, you're making fun of
i!" laughed Mr. Daisop, in whose
irth his wife joined. " Do you think
b have been blind to the purpose of
mr constant visits to our daughter?"
"Professional visits, Mr. Daisop,"
id Jack Halliday, with some wonder.
" Well, well, we won't discuss that
>int," continued Emily's lively father.
Look at yourself in the glass, man.
0 you think a fellow of your handsome
ce and figure can make love to a girl
Qg without setting her heart on fire ?"
"Yes; look at yourself in the glass,
r. Halliday," chimed in Mrs. Daisop,
% good-natured, motherly way. "I
a sure I am only too glad for my dear
mily that she should find a husband
ie you. Go in now, and make the
ild happy by proposing to her. I
ill be bound she does not remain long
1 the sofa after that."
Jack Halliday murmured a monosyllae,
which, let us hope, was a blessing;
it instead of returning to the parlor he
irted down the passage, opened the
reet-door, and fled ignominiouslyfrom
e house. Whefl he had run twentv
ices down the road ho paused, breathss,
to exclaim: "Now, I'll be hanged
I ever prescribe for wife, widow or
rl again. I've had enough of it 1"
He bad indeed had enough of it. He
is the handsomest doctor within a
dins of twenty miles; but the gift of
;auty, which should have proved a
ory and a source of wealth to bim, had
rned out to be an unmitigated curse.
?rtain it is that Mr. Chickjove, Mr.
ackin and Mr. Daisop had all some
ounds for taxing him with having shot
e darts of Cupid into their respective
mily circles; and they were not the
dy persons by many who were entitled
make the same complaint. The best
it was, however, that Jack Halliday
is absolutely innocent of any purpose
circumvent his fair patients; for he
is the discreetest of men, very earnest
his profession, and he would not for a
eat deal have got himself into any en glement.
He walked home, brooding in considable
disgust, and, as usual, found in
s hall a number of maids and pages
liting with pressing notes that sum
JIJ CU 111111 gu Ulll UUU DCO UlTtlO
3ies. He dismissed this cohort of
gssengers pretty roughly, telling them
> should go ont no more that nigbt.
ley protested, but he bundled them all
it into the street, saying that he wantbis
ten, and should have it. He was
it fated, however, to enjoy this cbeer1
meal just yet, for on walking into
s study he was met by a dainty, tearful
tie woman, who rose from a chair near
e fire, and, lifting her vail, sighed:
Oh, doctor, I feel so ill. I've been
liting for you an hour."
" Mrs. Chickjove!" exclaimed Halliiy.
" Why, I called at your house;
dn't your husband tell you?"
"Oh, yes; the brute! "He would le
e die, for.aH he cared; but you must
escribe for me, doctor?dear doctor 1
it you haud here on my heart and feel
e palpitation. Sea how ill I am."
"Really, I don't think there's any
llig tile liiuiitJr ? ilu juu, itLio. vuiwa.
ve,"said Halliday, severely. "Any>w,
as I don't understand your case, I
[vise you to consult my neighbor. Dr.
jdgie, whose long experience "?
'?Ah, doctor, I shall die if you forke
mo," screamed Mrs. CJhickjove,
id, letting herself glide oil her seat,
ie had a fit of hysterics on the hearthiR.
Jack, losing his head, caught up the
st bottle off his medicine-shelf and
reed the contents into the fair Buffer's
mouth. He found out later?and
i did the lady?that he had adminisred
a strong dose of Epsom salts by
istake; but for the present his impulses
ere erratic, for he heard loud moans
suing from the next room, which was
s parlor, and running in ?aw a corpunt,
middle-aged lady, gasping on a
fa, with both hands pressed to her
)som.
"Why, Mrs. Marrable, what brings
m here ?" he cried.
"Oh, doctor," croaked the rich widow
a voice which would have dono for a
ill-sergeant's, "I have come to apoloze
for my brother's atrocious conduct,
has made mo quite ill. The unmanly
llow wants my money?six thousand a
jar, doctor, in the three per cents?
it he shall never have a penny; my
oney Bhall go to those whom I love
id who love me. Oh, doctor, dear
jetor, your prescriptions do me a world
good; I feel that I owe you my
e. . . . Allow me to weep; olil
i!"
The cathartic in the doctor's bottle
as not all gone; he was about to inr.
irt what remained of it to soothe the
idow's pangs; but at this moment the
locker on the street-door was banged
ith Buch a riot that he went out to see
hat was the matter. He opened the
>or, and in rushed Mr. Chickjove, Mr.
uckin, and Mr. Daieop, all three ravg.
" My wife is in your house !"
slpcd one. "You've abducted my
nter, you scoundrel!" sang out the
cond. "I'll have no more trifling
ith my daughter 1" shouted the third,
heir fists wore clenched and their hair
ristled.
Jack Halliday, though an even-tem>red
man, lost patience. He barred
ie entrance to the parlor with his outretched
arms; and keeping his visitors
the hall, said: "Now, one at a time?
irst, you, Mr. Guokin. You called
e a scoundrel. If you don't instantly
ig my pardon, I shall request you to
i take off your coat, and we'll have it out
: here instanter. Do you decline?" Mr.
: Gnckin did decline to fight, and, reddening,
muttered an apology. "Very
5 well, off you go; and now, your turn,
Mr. Chickjove."
t " Ah, you shan't intimidate me, sir,"
I shrieked the choleric little husband of
the lady with palpitations. " If you lay
a finger on me, sir, I'll have the law on
' you."
" Yes, I know you're a solicitor," said
the doctor, calmly, " and that's why I
> am going to make an offer to you. I
i hear your influence will be paramount
at the approaching election of a coroner
[ for this district. Get me elected, and.I
promise to renounce my private pracl
tice. I'll never call upon your wife nor
any other lady, except in a friendly
i way."
i M You shan't call on us in a friendly
, "way," howled Mr. Ohickjove. "Yes,
I sir, I'll get you elected coroner; that's a
i good idea, for we shall be well rid of
: yon. You'll go and live in London,
i Where's my wife ? Let me pass, sir."
i JVIr. Chicbjove went .in to fetch his
; wife, and Jack remained alone with Mr.
Daisop.
" Mr. Daisop," said he, " wh j.n I've
> had my tea, I'll go and propose Emily;
t but conditionally, you know, on my
i getting that coronorship. I don't want
to have my wife's jealousy excited."
; "You're right, there," said Mr.
; Daisop, laughing. "A good-looking
i husband with a large female praotice
wouldn't quite suit a tender-hearted
i creature like our Emily." And he left
the doctor to his tea.
Celluloid.
" It seems to me," remarked a gentleman
in New York the other day, " that
; about everything we have now, except
what we eat, is made out of celluloid."
1 An investigation of the subject almost
tends to persuade one that this statement
is scarcely exaggerated. Although
celluloid was invented nine or ten years
ago (by two brothers named Hyatt), its
perfected manufacture has been regularly
in progress for only about five
years, and it is considered to be still in
its infancy; yet immense quantities of the
substance are produced, it is converted
into a wonderful variety of lurms, and
new modes of applying it are discovered
almost daily.
Celluloid is a composition of fine tissue
paper and camphor, treated with
chemicals by a patented process. A
rather common impression that it contains
gun-cotton is a mistake, which
arises from confounding it with collodion.
Celluloid, it is said, is entirely
non- explosive, and burns only when in
direct contact with flame. When crude
it I00K8 line a transparent gum, uiiu iwj
color it a light yellow-brown. It can be
made as hard as ivory, but it is elastio,
and can be readily molded into every
conceivable form. With equal ease it
can be colored in any tint desired, the
dye running through the entire substance,
and being, therefore, ineffacea,
ble.
Asa close imitation of ivory, celluloid
has made great inroads in the business
of tho ivory manufacturers. Its makers
assert that in durability it is much superior
to Tvory, as it sustains hard
knocks without injury, and it is not discolored
by age or use. Great quantities
are used for piano and organ keys, to
the manufacture of which one company
is devoted.
Celluloid can be mottled so as to imitate
the finest tortoise-shell, and its
elasticity renders it less liable to break age.
In this form it is used like imitation
ivory, for combB, card-cases, cigaroases,
match-boxes, pocketbooks, napkin
rings, jewelry and all sorts of fancy
articles. The substance is employed
for similar purposes as a good imitation
of malachite and also of amber. It
is made into mouthpieces for pipes,
cigar-holders and musical instruments,
and is used as the material of flutes,
| flageolets and drumsticks. For drumj
heads it is said to be superior to parch1
ment, nnd it is not affected by moisture
I in the atmosphere.
As a substitute of porcelain, celluloid
I is used for the heads of dolls, which can
be hammered against a hard floor without
danger of fracture. Beantifnl jewelry
is made of it in imitation of the
most elaborately carved coral, reproducing
all the shades of the genuine
article. Most of the coral tints are
bright or dark red, however, as the
makers, strange to say, have found that
excellent copies of the costly pink 'coral
are not in popular demand.
Within the last year and a half an
other branch of the celluloid manufacture
has been developed which promises
to reach enormous proportions. This is
I the use of celluloid as a substitute for
linen or paper in the making of shirtr
cuffs, collars, etc. It has the appearj
ance of well-starched linen, is nuffici|
ently light and flexible, does not wrinkle,
is not affected by perspiration and can
be worn for months without injury. It
becomes soiled much less readily than
linen, and when dirty is quickly cleaned
by the application of a little soap and
water with a sponge or rag. For travelers
and for wear in hot weather the
celluloid linen is especially convenient.
It has lately been much improved by
the introduction of real linen between
! two thicknesses of celluloid. Shirt
I fronts have been made of it, as well as
i cuffs and collars, and it is believed that
j these will prove equally desirable.
m
<l Important Business."
A man with a comforter tied around
i his waist and a whip in his hand called
j at the postoffice for a letter yesterday,
! and for reasons which no human being
may ever understand ne suddenly decided
to have his boots blacked, and not to
pay more than five cents for the job,
either. The first boy invited to begin
work took a cool survey of the boots,
and then softly replied :
* I'd like the job, mister, but you see
I haven't time. The secretary of the
treasury has made another call for outstanding
fivo-twenties, and I've got to
go to the bank."
j The second boy had already prepared
j to kneel down when be realized the
dimensions of the boots before him, and
suddenly straightening up said:
" Say, I haven't time. I've agreed to
take charge of a sawmill up the river for
a man who is going away, and I must be
i! at his office to give $20,000 bonds in just
' i four minutes. Some other boy'll be glad
i | of the job."
| The " some other boy " was near at
! hand, and when told that the boots must
be polished off for a nickel, he confideni
tially whispered:
| " Don't feel disappointed, but you see
i ! I was 'pinted assignee of a big firm up
: the street this morning, and I'm only
1 j here to buy ten thousand postage stamps
i to becrin work on. I'll send vou a bov
> as I go up."
| " No lie won't," was the blunt reply
j of the man as be got out doors. " I see
1 | the game now, but I can beat it I They're
' | planning to get some fellow lafcose time
i i iB worth about twenty dollars an hour,
' I to put in forty minits on these boots,
and then shake me for my load of wood,
but they can't come itl"?Detroit Free
Press.
A olergyman in Illinois, who had been
marrying several parties of young folks,
was asked by a brother who called on
him how he was getting along. " Oh,
finely," he replied; "I'm sailing right
along at the rate of thirteen knots an
hour."
TRICHINA.
The Oenth of Foar Per?on* from Eating
Raw Hnm.
The Chicago Times of a recent date
says: A short time ago an alleged case
of ppasrn-provoking trichina occurred in
this city, and a number of people who
thought they knew more about uncooked,
diseased pork than the unfortunate
deceased who ate it could not believe
that such a thing as the real trichina *
that killed people did exist or could exist
hereabouts. To prove that it could
not, according to iiis own theory, a certain
physician ate a piece of meat which
was supposed to have caused the misohief,
and after having duly announced
the fact he calmly awaited results. He
is yet calm as far as heard from, and has
not as is known experienced any ill results
from the piece of meat which he
ate.
Whether the pork was diseased or not
is an open question; but it is asserted
that the doctor did not hesitate to boil
it thoroughly before he ate it. This was
a precaution which probably he did not
deem necessary to make public, but scientists
say it makes all the difference in
the world about diseased pork from
which trichina can be developed, and
the general impression among those who
heard of the experiment is that ho ate
the pork nearly raw or only par-boiled.
There has recently occurred a very distressing
case which, if it does not set at
rest the question of the tendency of diseased
pork, not thoroughly cooked, to
create trichina, and in such a serions
form as to be fatal, Bhould at leaBt, it
would seem, call for some very thorough
and exhaustive inquiry.
Intelligence reached the city yester- ^
day tnat a wnoie lamuy uaa aiea irom ^
trichina caused by eating ham, which j
was presumably insufficiently cooked,
In Gridley, 111., resided until a few days ^
since a very respectable German family, ^
consisting of a man, his wife and three r
sons. They were in the habit of par- j
taking of ham freely, and within the
past week the boys sickened and died.
The mother finally succumbed to illness f
and also died, and when the news
reached this city. yesterday, the last ^
member of the family was upon
what was believed to be his deathbed.
The boys and their mother died in ,
the greatest agony, and Dr. Taylor, a
physician of Gridley, .who attended the *
family, had no doubt about the cause of
death being trichina of a malignant ^
form. The father also was suffering ?
from the same oomplaint, and betrayed
all the symptoms of completely-developed
trichina. Dr. Taylor dispatched
specimens of the ham eaten by tliin unfortunate
family, and also a piece of the ,
body of one of the boys deceased, to
Mr. Edward Mancher, the optician of
this city, and the latter gentleman ap- .
plied a number of crucial microscopic ,
tests to these subjects. The results ,
fully substantiated the theory of trichina
as the cause of death, as the microscope
clearly discovered thousands of these ?
death-dealing parasites in small pieces .
of the ham.
So thick were they that Mr. Mancher ,
said last evening that he could clearly
distinguish no less than ten perfectly- ,
formed and large-sized trichina) in a ,
piece of the hani no bigger than a pin's
head, and that in larger pieces they ?
abounded by the hundred and by the
thousand. They are so abundant that ^
life in the smaller parasites cannot bo
discerned at all, as they have to be =
placed between the two pieces of glass,
and the point of the finest needle can .
scarcely define them, and yet they
caused the agonized death of a whole ,
family. There is intense excitement in
and around the locality where this melancholy
fatality occurred,
1
A Cool Customer. c
The Detroit Free Press says : J. R. t
Ham was one of a confederation of men, c
some of them holding high official and 1
social positions, who, by means of 1
forged deeds and other devices, perpe t
trated one of the most gigantic land B
swindles ever heard of. He is now }
serving a ten years' eentence on convic- i
tion of sending to Blanco county, Texas, 1
for record,a forged deed for 640 acres of f
land, and has sent to the Free Press s
office two letters, one of which is given t
below, the extract with which it com- r
mences having been cut from our paper f
by him and attaohed to his letter as a I
sort of text: a
" J. R. Ham, the man who came near t
to stealing one-half of Texas, is anxious c
^ A ?ir nAnifonfiAVtr ti
IU UUb Ui uuc uurtuu pom mil nui j a
He thinks he can render valuable service '
in clearing up real estate titles; but lie t.
cleared too much when he was at liberty, c
and Texas will find him most useful p
where he is." i
Austin, Texas.?Have been looking t
o?er your valuable paper nearly all day, t
and to my great astonishment find my h
name in the paper. I desire to correct d
yon, lest you might injure my reputa- o
tion. You state that I am the man who h
came near to stealing the one-half of li
Texas. Now this is all a mistake. I
only got away with 168,000 acres of land h
that there are no adverse claimants for. b
This land is worth on an average five s
dollars per acre, which would only make ^
about $800,000. This amount wonld P
hardly be the interest for one year on s
what Jim Fisk and Jay Gould gobbled e
on Black Friday, and yet they are not v
happy. You state that I think I could I
render valuable services in clearing up t
real estate titles. In this you are quite p
right. Yes, I can "read my titles &
clear." Yon state that I am anxious to il
get out of the Austin penitentiary. In f
this you are mistaken. ' In the first place, o
there is no penitentiary in Aubtin; in s
the second place, I have never been in a t
penitentiary, and have no aspirations in
that direction. If I could get out of '
the Austin jail it would be good enough a
for me. If they would turn me over to c
the Lord I would be satisfied. t
Very respectfully, J. B. Ham, 5
? j
A Wealthy Beggar. ?
A professional beggar has recently 1
died, in Berlin, leaving a fortune of E
more than a million and a half marks to t
his heirs. He had many children and E
grandchildren, and lived in splendid ?
style, giving sumptuous entertainmnnts. j
The soirees were only attended by mid- b
die-class society, and wore held only 8
during the winter. In summer the
jovial old gentloman invariably left his ^
house for four or five months. It is *
now known that ho has regularly fre- '
quently, at least until a few years ago, I
the principal bathing-places of Ger- T
many, and that he gathered his immenso I
plunder by begging. In wretched drees, <3
with an invalid's cap, blue spectacles,
long BDow-white hair, and apparently
palsied limbs, ho used to shamble slowly
along the promenades. He never directly
asked for anything, but used to c
receive voluntary offerings from the F
visitors, and these amounted to a large ?
sum, which was regularly dispatched to t
Berlin every week. His biggest har- f
vests were collected in the great gam- ?
bling towns, when thoee were in full ^
bloom of their prosperity. It waB sup- *
posed that he had formerly been rich, *
but had lost everything at the gaming- c
tables. He would pace to and fro in and "
around the great building at Baden- *
Baden, and more than once during the T
day some player who had made a lucky
stroke ofJpusiness would sympathetically
prefflra piece of gold upon the old t
man's acceptance. He is said to havo ^
driven this profitable trade for thirty i
seasons. i
TAME BUFFALOES.
Bringing Up T'ireo that vrere Taken V
on the Pialnn.
Colonel Ezra Miller, of Mahwah, I
brought up three buffaloes that
sent to him from the plains of the \
and giveB Mb experience with the
follows in an interview with a New'
reporter:
"I have proved to my own sati
tion," the colonel said, "several
portant poftts. First, that buffi
san be tamed. Second, that it doi
jost one-half as much to keep a bn
is to keep an ordinary cow. T]
:hoy can be fattened as quickb
ordinary beeves, and on half the f
md thoir meat is just as good. Foi
they are as good miiKers as onr a
Deys; and fifth, they are as good bi
nakere. The milk of the buffalo
little yellower than that of the A'
icy, but very sweet and rich, and t
s more cream than in the Aide
nilk. As to the quantity of milk g
r>y buffalo cows, they will average
;he average milker. The udder of
Buffalo cow is very small indeed,
;he milk veins are immense. '
s a provision whereby nature ena
;hem to run faster than if cam
id by a large udder. I am of
jpinion that the most desirable croi
,vith the big Dutoh cattle that have i
jig udders. I think that crossing t
vith our short-horns will give rema
Dly good beef. But the beef from
mffaloes more than met my exp<
ions. It was sweet and juicy,
ender, not at all like the meat of
juffalo of the plains.
"Now, in drawing the balance
ween the buffalo and the ordinary i
t find these facts: The buffalo cai
:ept at one-half the cost of the i
hat's one point for the bnffalo.
vill assume, to give the cow a fair si
hat she yields more milk and bu'
Chat balances the account so far.
mffalo is fully equal to our stoc
he quality of meat. So they are
i ? t- ? l n.~ L:J- _
)ii even terms; uut ilb uiuh jb w
our times as much, bo it comes onl
ibead in the last heat, as horsemen
Cho hide from my bull was a beaul
pecimen. It was better than a
obe I bought to compare with it.
ur was longer and finer, the resu
^ood feed, I think."
The colonel led the way to the b
'ard where the buffalo cow and ht
Fere kept. A savory smell was
laled from the kitchen as he passed
"Come in here a minute," he e
mddenly. Three or four farmht
vere eating dinner, and a large pla
>f what seemed to be beefsteak stoo<
he table. The colonel seized a k
md cut into it. It was sweet, jn
md tender, and well flavored. " 1
sfrom the round," the colonel s
' Not the best cut by any means, as
enow; but our women Bay the bul
neat is all tenderloin. The hum
rery fine, being rich and juicy,
leart is immense in size, and the 1
jeats any beef liver I ever tasted."
A good-looking colored man wen
he cow stables, and from amor
iumber?of ordinary-looking anil
urned out the buffalo cow. Her fr
lorns curved upward iind were tip
vilh brass knobs. Otherwise she
ho ordinary buffalo. Her calf,
'earling heifer, was her counter]
without the horns. Both were i
jentle, and the heifer answered rea
,o the name of " Nancy."
"We have had no trouble in rail
hem," the colonel eaid, " and they 1
vith the other cattle on the besi
erms. What surprises me is t
veakness. I supposed they were i
jowerfnl; but they are not. I have t
t yearling Alderney bull push Bill,
mffulo bull, when he was three v
)ld, right up hill. They are fast,
hey are not strong. They are also i
lowardly, very playful and very <
ling. I have studied their habits
lave been greatly amused. If on
hem sees you shut a gate, he'll go
ind open it immediately after you;
10 won't go out of the gate. I had tl
n that li' there, and noticed th
ength of the fence that separated
mature from a field of rye was down
ent a man to nail it up. Bill stood
>ehind him and watched brim closely.'
oan had not got back to the house
ore Bill gravely walked up to the fe:
rat his horns under the lower boi
nd ripped the wholo length down,
hen quietly turned round and wa]
ff. One day the men were working
hat side hill with barrows. At n<
rhile they were eating dinner ue
hat shed, they heard a rattle, and di
nme Bill, a handle of the wheelbar
n each horn, wheeling it. He whei
t to the foot of that hill there, whe
nrned over. Then he tried to ge
iack. I have seen him roll a ba
alf way up the hill and then let
own, and every time the barrel bour
ver a stone Bill gruntad and jerked
lis ridiculous tail. They don't bel
ike our cattle; they grunt.
One day Bome girls who were-visil
ere from New York went on the hill
blackberries, carrying a small tin p
ncli as the men use in carrying
?ben they salt tho cattle. Bill saw
ail, and, thougk afraid of tke gi
lowly walked toward tkem. Tkey slo
dged away. Bill followed. Tke g
ralked faster; so did Bill. Tkey ]
Jill broke into a trot, and down tke
bey came, the girls still holding
iail, and frightened ont of their v;
nd Bill behind longing for salt. Han
f those girls didn't olimb that I
ence there within three lengths of
pen gate. They never saw it.
topped with a grunt and a jerk of
ail.
"A curious tking," tke colonel s;
' is tkeir dance. I call it tkeir war-da
nd I believed tke Indians got tke :
if tke war-dance from tkem, as wel
ke grunt. Those three buffaloes vi
;o up among those cedars and
vould rear up against one, put his f
eg3 around it, and bend it down to
ground. Then tho others wonld
lim, and they'd all stand over the 1
lapling. Suddenly, at a given gr
hey'd jump away, and, bh the sap
iprang up with a switch, they'd stai
i circle around it, one behind the ot
umping stiff-legged, coming dowr
ill four feet at a time, and at each ji
ill grunting.
" I want to say that I think it will
o breed buffaloes. I think a good
vonld be to have buffalo ranches in
juffalo country, where th<5 calves c<
>e collected and domesticated,
whence they could be shipped to
2ast. If something of this kiDd i
Vvn1 TTI 11 Ka DTfnvminnf<
IUJJU, IUO UUUU1U "1U WW
The Cost or War.
The Gazette de St. Peter ah
ipropo8 of the cost of the recent (
>aigns, makes some calculations of
ost in blood and treasure of the wai
he last twenty-five years. In the
aean wnr 750,000 lives were sacrifl
n the Italian war of 1859, 45,000; ic
iclileswig-Holstein war, 3,000; in
'rupso-Austrian war of 1866, 45.00C
ho ill-starred Maximilian's Mex
ampaign, 65,000; in the Franco*P:
ian war, 215,000, making a tota
,148,000, besides 800,000 in the <
ear of the United States.
Winter is the time for planning
he summer is the season for execul
iVinter is the time for thought, as ?
ner is the season for carrying thot
nto action.?Iowa State Register,
';
A RATTLESNAKE S DINNER.
oun* The Monthly Meal Prepared forlthe Ii
entitle Reptiles at the New York A
6 J.
w'er'g A New York paper says: Poisoi
pesfc snakes very seldom take food in caj
m ag ity. Of some species, no specimen
lork ever ^een ^oun<^ that would do so.
a rale, they obstinately starve th
sfac-' se^ve8? sometimes living for nin<
jjjj. even twelve months without eat
iloeB gradually weaker, day by <
28n>{. until they finally die. The rattlesi
is not that sort of a snake. He ie p
tical, ready in adapting himself to
7 ay cumstances, and if he is hungry, ii
00(j because nothing digestible is at han
irth' anc* swallowed.
Mr. Bergh objects to snakes b<
x^er fed with living animals. So when
j8 rattlesnakes' monthly meal time co
^er_ he is never an invited guest. An i
was chosen when there were no sirs
hj era iu the aquarinm. and the dinner
iven serve^' A lflr8e? *flt rat was Pnt iD
cage of a rattlesnake abont three
tjj6 long. The rat manifested a cheerful
knj. different to the situation, that was
This doubt based on the happy delusion 1
ibles comPani?n was simply a harmless
ber_ worm. It trotted unconcernedly c
1 the outlying sections of the snt
38 is Peere<^ d?WD amoug the coils for so
rach thing to eati and stared with innoc
hem 8urPr^B0 an<^ curiosity at the upraif
rka- l?udly-rattling tail. Its n^nchala
' ou* actually seemed to astonr a the snt
eta- anc* cansei* ^im t? hesitate about op
and h?8tih*ties against such a cool c
xk tomer. That situation was maintai
for five minutes. All that time the :
k tlesnake's warning notes were soundi
and. it lay coiled with its neck cur
be ready t? strike, and its eyes fairly b
ing with malignant ferocity. Atlat
"mg struck at the rat?and missed. The
iow seemed to think nothing more of the
Iter currence than that the worm wantec
mi * change its position and was somew
. . in a hurry about it. There was no i
still Pa160' alarm, but only an access of ci
orth O0ifcy *n of the frisky rod
t far ab?ut- the quivering, whizzing tail
satisfy concerning which he walked
fcifni liberately UP to it and smelled It.
Aog he did so the snake struck again, i
that time cauprht his victim's left h
It of ^ horrible thing the rattlesn;
was in that moment of pouncing uj
_ his victim. The flat, broad head 1
lifer ?Pene<* hi to an enormous mouth; in
widelyjdistended jaws the large, ho
" I ed, venomouB fangs were erected;
aid e7es 8^owed ^ith fury. Quicker tl
inds i 8'8^t could follow the motion, the de
I Itj hlnur tuqb inflintari. OnA innfnnf,
j Bnako was motionless, the next its fa
nife wer0 fastened hi the leg of the str
gling, squeaking, and now thorough
m alarmed rat, and the next it had retu
., ed to its former attitude, still threat
von but shnply following with watch
ffalo e^es movements of its victim, wi
. out essaying any further attack. 1
The toned rat lost instantly the us(
" the leg that had been struck. On
other three legs it sprang about as i
. terror, then dragged itself aroi
the cage more and more slowly; atlen,
it crawled among the coils of the sn
I k an<3 there expired. Thirteen mini
>ned e'a8Pe<^ ^rom the time it was bitten tu
was ^as ^eac^'
Almost immediately the snake p
nart ceede^ ^he swallowing prow
?erv There was no preparatory moisteni
J? coiling upon and pressing'of the bo
' The snake simply seized the rat's hi
in his mouth, and commenced op?
lerd t'ons- ^is uPPor jaw is built in 1
l j sections, right and left, and he <
heir movf them separately, backward or f
ward. Hooking the teeth of one sect
y into the rat's hide, he would slide
M other section forward a little and tak
fresh hold with his teeth. Then 1
. . first that made fast would let go, co
to the front, and rig a new purcha
In that way, by alternate advance*
and anc' sect'ons ?* kis up;
? jaw, he slowly pushed his dinner doi
Ent it took lrim twenty minutes to do
bnt Several other rats were fed to the i
tlesnakes with little variation of ii
. dent, except that their individual ch
tVio acteristics were variously display
""y I None was as unconscious of danger i
I t I impudently sociable as the first, i
L [none was as plucky aa the seven
be- which, nP?n receiving the fatal bi
' ' sprang at the snake to make fight. 1
poison was too active in the couragei
ami ""1? fellow's veins, however. Even
- ho reached the reptilo's neck his lin
on stiffened> bis iftwB became set, and
^ rolled over on his back, weakly kick:
, ' and gasping for some minutes, and tl
' ? died. The quickest death wan thai
the fourth rat, which was bitten in :
. j head, fell immediately, and was se?
ingly dead in less than a minute.
. .. Dr. Dornor, who knows almoBt
I much about snakes as if had made the
J, explains that as soon as a rattlesm
, has eaten in captivity, the quantity a
' an activity of its poison increases, quio
j P causing the interval between the h
and its fatal result, upon small animc
at least, to become very short inde
for But if lot too often the reptile's ven
j loses in activity, so that sometimes s
Bait e k1^63 are insuffi'jien to kill.
tho '
rls, Wanted More "Ointment."
ylj A Washington correspondent tells t
.'iris anecdote: In tho year 187- an ofiic
an; from tho regions of Puget sound ca
hill to tho capital to transact some impc
the ant business with one of the execut
"its, departments. It was his first v
ged to the seat of government of his coi
ligh try, and it was evident, from his dr
an an(j manner, that he was infinitely mi
Bill at home on the frontier, attired in bu
his skin, and sleeping with the blue cano
of heaven for a covering, and living,
his round of official duty, on the p
P06* ducts of his rifle. Tho amenities a
idea comforts of civilization were new
1 as him; but, with genuine American se
>u|d assertion, he purchased an "outfit"
Bill broadcloth, mainly a "swallow-tail,"
ore' tho "slope," and traveled in Pnlln:
the car8 oyer the mountains and across I
jom plains ana prairies to me capital, j
jent riving here, be sought oat the b
nnt, hotel, rad put up tbere. At dim
bng day, after astounding the wait
t in by bis extraordinary gastronomic
her, pacity, having tasted of every dish
1 on the menu, the Puget Sounder touol
imP bottom on the dessert. Amongst otl
things there were apple dumplin
Pay with a sauce of sugar and butter, an
idea strong infusion of cognac, a combi
M*6 tion of ingredients not objectionable
juld the frontier official. The steward,
aDll doling out his dumplings, assigned
tho each a becoming ration of sauce. J
isn't Paget Sounder, by a partiality for sau
3d." caused it to fail in its distribution
dumpling, so that the supply of
former was prematurely oxnausted, le
ing but a leathery mass of bare dur
ur9t ling. The frontier official, in his tii
!a ' had swallowed worse things than Wa
ington hotel dumplings; but after r
"J ?* bling around the doughy mass and
lecting from beneath the covering
the apple ho could scrape out,
1 Jj10 waiter, noticing tho situation, step]
":e up and inquired: " Governor, will ]
I: in hnrn enma mnrn illimnliriC 9" Tllfl (
lcan | cial, first looking at the waiter to sei
r118" I he was in earnest, and then at his pli
'. ?., ful of excavated dumplings, repl;
civrl a thank ye; but, if it's all the s?
to yon, I'll take a leetle more of t
i-intcment."
j, as ?. ?
!.ion. It is proposed to celebrate at Pom
mm this summer the eighteen hundre
ight anniversary of the destruction of 1
oity by an eruption from Vesuvius.
FARM, GARDEN AND HOtJSEH
iter* Grain In Orchards.,
qua- in a recent issue of your paj
notice an article in which the wril
ions desirous of becoming familiar wit]
3tiv- project as to whether sowing t
has grain (oats) in an orohard would f
As satisfactory. I think not, should ?
em- dealt with similarly to myself. Th
J or the raising of such had only once
engaged in, and its proving by far
3ay, trary to my expectations, I nnhei
ia??e mgly abandoned the idea of ra
rac- small grain in an orchard of any aj
cir- the future. I now take pleasur
3 so giving my experience to young far
d to and any others ol your numerous i
ers.
sing Jn the spring of 1876, having ai
the tensive and superior selection of cl
mes fruit trees, variously mixed, I ooncli
lour (the trees being widely set apart
tng- planted in virgin soil) to experimei
was raising oats. As the ground ne
the cultivation, I thought the oats woul
feet beneficial instead of injurious. S(
1 in- them in March, and gave the mattei
1 no little attention until June 1st, whei
that my surprise and dissatisfaction, I
big served the trees were very scaly, 1
>ver dry and in places Bcorched?oausei
ike, I thought then and know now, bj
me* reflection of heat or rays of the
ent The straw was fast maturing, and c
Jed, ble of reflection. But my neigh
nee frequently persisted in causing m
ike, believe otherwise, but of no avail
en- afterward confirmed my belief. Be<
us ing dissatisfied at the turn tilings i
Qed taking, I had the oats harvested,
rat- it was no improvement, for the sti
ag, seemed as forcible in returning hei
ved did their better h?lf. Finding tl
laz- Was no chance of saving them except
it it hard work and diligent nursing, 1
rat solved to adopt the two latter meth
oc" thereby saving more than half of
i to trees.
bat ??Young Farmer" will observe by
aP foregoing that the oats paid deai
ari- themselves, and were worthless. Ii
ent should still feel inclined to raise a <
i to in his orchard, 1 would suggest
de- raising of corn or potatoes, or o
As orops with green foliage.?M. A, Si
in Rural World.
ind
a]je Honsehold Illnts.
oon- Clean oil-oloth with milk and wat<
was brush and soap will ruin it.
the Tumblers that have had milk in ti
?k- should never be put in hot water.
A small piece of charcoal in the
^ with boiling cabbage removes the sn
the Musty bottles or jars may be s-w
QgS ened with lyo or dissolved soda.
ng. either remain in them a short ti
jy then dry and scald out. Salt will I
off must, if placed in jars or bottlei
en- A tablespoonful of black pepper
ful into the first water in which gray
tQ- buff linens are washed will keep tl
rhe from spotting. There is no objectio
j of it, and it softens the water like soda
its Tn Hiimn wflftthflr. flat-irons, nn
f in kept on the stove, are apt to ga'
md moisture, get rough, and someti
rusty; and it is not well to keep tl
Qke hot all the time, for a good m
Lies reasons?they are liable to get knoc
Qtil off and broken, and after a. while
retain the heat as well, and they ar
the way. If you occasionally rub
3BS? smooth surface with ft bit of bees^
D8> and then rub on a piece of cloth, <
3y. will always keep bright and smooth,
efld they do ever happen to get wet, an*
)ra* rust, lay a little fine salt upon a smc
;wo board and rub them, over it qui<
^ while hot.
?r Fowls In Orchards.
Last fall we visited an orchard
which fowls were kept, the owne:
tll which told us that before the fowls ?
me confined in it the trees made little o
se growth, and only a corresponc
i amount of fruit was obtained
what a change was evident now! 1
^ grass was kept down, the weeds kil
: -/ and the trees presented an appeart
It of thrift which the most enthusia
' j" horticulturist could not but admire
" envy. The growth of the trees
g/ most vigorous and the foliage rema:
ind ^ly luxuriant; the fruit was abund
j of large size, and free from worms
jv other imperfections. The excellt
1^' was accounted for by the proprie
fhe remar^eA that the "hens ate all
worms and cnrculio in their reach, e
M the canker-worm." He fonnd
jjjS trouble wita tneir roosnng in trees i
kQ lie expected, and tliat a picket fence
jn feet high kept them within bounds.
10j* orchard was divided into three sectii
l Q| and the fowls were changed from on
another, as the condition of the fowl
_ the orchard-sections seemed to reqc
?Poultry World.
as Pruning Trees.
Set a green hand to prune trees wl
limbs of any size are to be removed,
the chances are, ten to one, that he
"y commence at the top and saw thro
'j66 the limb until it falls of its own weij
tearing down the bark and wood,
^ flicting a great, ugly wound, which i
om require years to heal, and whioh, if
ev" carefully protected from the weatl
will cause such decay -as to destroy
tree. The method commonly rec
mended to prevent injury is, to begii
hia the bottom and out half way thron
,jal and then finish at the top ; or with v
me large limbs, to have them supported
,r a crotohed pole or pitchfork held bj
jve assistant below; but we have founi
jgij better plan, and quite as easy, to be
an. make two cuts, the first at a conveni
? distance, sav a foot, from the p<
ore where we wish the limb removed. 1
0k. short stnmp can, except in the casi
pj very large limbs, be easily held in
oq hand, while the final cut is made v
ro_ the other.?Fruit Recorder.
nd ? ?to
1(- The Dag a9 an Article of Food.
By most people the dog is valned c
on during his life; his skin is not parti
Lan larly valuable, and his flesh is little
teemeJ. This is by no means, howe'
^ r' the case everywhere. It is well-kn<
es' that the Chinese use the dog as a re
Qer lar article of food. Many of the Nc
ers American tribes look upon an cntra
ca" dog as the greatest possible sweet n
sel they can set before a stranger.
, Leopold McClintock relates that in
tier Sandwich islands he had the most ]
88? fuse apologies offered to him beca
" a there was no puppy to be had for a f
na" | to which he was invited. The Esi
. maux, too, look upon a dish of yo
jn , dog as a great treat, and it is reli
t0 that a Danish captain provided
Llie friends with a feast of this kind,
ce> when they praised his mutton, sen!
.to the skin of the beast and exhibited i
tl10 them! The Greeks and Romans
av" used the dog as an article of diet,
QP" many ancient writers, such as Galen
Hippocrates represent dog-meat
" highly desirable dish.?.Cincinnati
nuircr.
se
ail
the Francis Atkins was porter at
ped palace gate at Salisbury from the I
fou of Bishop Burnet to the period of
death in 1761, at the age of 101 ye
9 if It was his office every night to wind
ate- the clock, which he was capable of
ied, forming regularly till within a yea
ime his decease, though on the summ
hat the palace. In ascending the 1
flight of stairs he usually made a ha
a particular place and said his evei
peii prayers. He lived a regular and t
dth perate life and took a great deal of e
iiat oiBe; he walked well, carried his fr
upright and well balanoed to the ]
OLD " H. M. S. PINAFORE."
A Skctch of the Opera which has C'rc
)er J finch n Fnror.
ter is The Pittsburgh (Pa.) Leader gh
h the sketch of the opera under the nl
small name, written by W. S. Gilbert, an I
>rove lish dramatist, and the mn*ic furnit
ie be by Arthur Sullivan, an English c
ough poser. First brought out in this com
been in Boston, it at once became very p(
con- lar there, and when taken to JNew i
sitat- it was performed in half a dozen tl
ising ters at the same time, while it is b<
16 in sung by traveling operatic troupei
e in over the country. The Leader says
mors The object of this comical, naut
read- operatic trifle, on a subject of 8
ponderositee as the queen's navee, i
a ex- show the hollowness of official prei
loice sious and the bombast that bolsters
a fled rank and station; and to laugh d<
and ignorance and stupidity in high pla
it in The deck of the Pinafore becomes
eded battle-ground of a comical engagem
d be between hard-flated sailors' service i
>wed official bombast and emptiness. '
r but action on board is brisk, and is conti
a, to ally interrupted with the bursting boi
ob- shells of laughter. The farcical elem
bark is always present in a variety of gu:
3, as and happy surprises. It stalks ab
' the on deck in the lord high admiralsun.
ways accompanied by his sisters, and
apa- cousins, and his aunts, and the wl
bors * gang " of his female relations. H
e to a stickler for naval etiquette, "if ;
L I please;" tells how he rose to be 41
;om- ruler of the queen's navee," and prest
vere the crew with a song of instruction, i
But ting or singing forth that " the Brit
lbbs tar is a soaring soul" whose "energy
it as flet should be ready to resist a dicti
here rial word." He loves the capta
b by daughter and she loves a common sail
[ re- To win the girl he tells her that I
ods, levels all ranks and stations. She ta
my him at his official word, offically
pressed, and instead of soaring up
' the him she flops down into the arms of
' for sailor, whom she has previously reje
' he ed because of incompatibility of n
3rop and station?a result of the admir
the official blunder. Official "pomp i
ther circumstance," and rank and station
tier, played with like shuttlecock and bat!
door. Baby-farming Buttercup ma
a regular social revolution on board
Pinafore, when she sings:
> " Two tender babes I nursed.
One was of low condition,
bem The other upper crust,
A regular patrician,
A many years ago.
pot Oh, bitter iB my cap !
iellc However could I do it?
. I mixed those children up*
?6Ii" And not a creature knew it.
"I? Well, the up-shot of the mixing i
; ' that the patrician became the sailor t
^ the babe of low condition the captaii
startling. Then the admiral deci
put that the sailor is really the captain, i
the captain is the sailor, and bo cham
kem their places on board according to bi
n to _more startling. The admiral deoli:
to marry the deposed captain's dangh
less because of her low degree, and offlcis
tker gives her to the sailor now elevated
mes the captaincy. The ex-captain now tui
hem to Buttercup, who had farmed him a
any baby and got him mixed, and bein(
iked widower, he tells he? :
n?t k i j gbaii marry a wife
0 in In my humble rank of life,
the And you, my own are she ?
vai I must wander to and *ro,
.1 ' But wherever I may gu
yjj I shall never be uutrue to thee.
j 80 All: What never?
Captain : No, never !
^ All: What, never ?
uapiam : n&ruiy over ;
All: Hardly ever be untrue to thee
And that's where an oft-repeated j<
[ in hits hardest.
r of The whole business is a setting
rere and knocking down of rank and stati
r no and laughing at the wreck. The p<
ling sailor who loves above his station, wl
But he bewails his low condition, is prouc
The being an Englishman, IJe sings:
led, ' I am an Englishman; behold me 1"
mce Then others chime in :
.stic " He is an Englishman,
and For he himself baa said it,
was And it's greatly to his credit
rka- That ho is an Englishman ;
?nf For be might have been a Booeian
J A French or Turk or Prooeian,
411(1 Or, perhaps, an It&li-an;
mce Bnt iu spite of all temptations
tor, To belong to other nations,
t?e He remains an Englishman?
yen Hurrah for the true-born Engliahma
leBa That's something to be proud of, e^
Vmr) in the ahackels of his low estate. Wl
I 6ij the admiral comes on board with his i
His iDue ?f female relations, the humor
3ns> the situation flows in song as follows:
6 to "Admiral: I am the monarch of the sea,
Thfi rtiler of the nnflon'd navei
"r WhOBe praise Great Britain lou
aie- chants.
Cousin Hebe: And we are bis sisters and
cousins and bis aunts.
Chorus: And we are bis sisters and his com
lere and his aunts,
and Admiral: Wben at anchor here I ride
My bosom swells with pride,
_,?v, And I snap my fingers at a foema
fi!~ taunts.
S. ? Cousin Hebe: And so do his sisters and
in- couaina and hia annta.
nay Chorus': And so do his sisters and his cons
not and bis aunts.
ier Admiral: But when the breezes blow,
akI I generally go below
And seek the seclusion that a ca
Dm" grants^
3 at CouBin Hebe : And so do his sisters and
gh, cousins and his aunts,
ery Chorus: And so do his sisters and his cous
uli and his annta.
j * His sisters and his cousins,
' an Whom he reckons up by dozens,
1 a And his aunts.
After the admiral has officially fool
?nt himself out of the ex-captain's daughfc
rint and he has officially disposed of t
bis sailor and bis love, aud the captain a
0 ?* Buttercup, he turns to Hebe:
Admiral: I'm tho monarch of the sea,
fltn ^nd whoa I've married thee,
I'll be true to the devotion that
love implants.
Ilebe : Then good-bye to his sisters and
cousins and his aunts;
Especially his coufcins,
. Whom be reckons by tho dozen
. 7 Hia sisters and his cousins and
lcu- aunts.
e?* Ohorus: For ho is an Englishman,
rer, And he himBelf hath said it
>wn And it's greatly to his credit,
>gn. That he is an Englishman.
>rth These extracts will give some idea
; of the style and purposes of the opera a
lor- the comio character of the doings
Sir Her Majesty's Ship Pinafore.
the ___
promise
The Zulu Kraals.
The military kraals of the Zulus,
^ ~ South Africa, are, in poiriK of fact, foi
,i,pj fled depots where tho various regime]
TV, assemble for their annual training
" f mobilize in time or war. The kraal
7~ usually about 500 yards in diame
f and fenced round with a dry stake a
, and wattled fence, about five feet
? ? -height, difficult to breach and si
j harder to storm, r.s it is well surround
fln by an abattis of prickly pear, br
p LUUriiCJ UUU utuu ivimiuttuig wowova
Inside this fence are thrown
the men's hnts, and a smaller ring
generally erected in the center, in wh:
the the cattle are kept. The king's kraa'
iime Ulnndi, or Undini, almost in the cen
his of the country. Six regiments, na
sars. bering about 7,000 men, are quartei
[ up here permanently. Another imports
per- kranl is situated a few miles to 1
r of north of Rorke's Drift, where the mi
it of sacre of the British forces occurri
ofty This was the headquarters of Sirajc
It at brother of Cetywayo; it was bui
ling shortly after hostilities opened, and i
em- chief's son killed in the engageme
xer- Most of the other kraals are in the nei{
ame borhood of Undini, so that the king
last, oonstai^llj enabled to inspect his troo
Help.
My hands have often boon weary hands,
ia,e<l Too tired to do their daily teek ;
And just to fold them for evermore
*es a Has seemed the boon that was best to atk.
)ove
(Jog. My feet hare often been weary feet,
ihod Too tired to walk another day;
10m- And I've thonght, "To sit and calmly wait
atrv Is better far than the onward way."
rork My eyes with tears hare been so dim
aea. That I have said, u I cannot mart
nng The work I do or tho way I take,
3 all For everywhere it is dark??odark."
Bat oh, thank God I There never baa come
ic al That hoar that makes the bravest qoafl;
No matter how weary my feet and hand*,
?en_ God never has suffered my heart to fail.
I up So the folded hands take np their work,
3wn And the weary feet pursue their way; . /
ws. And all is clear when the gcod heart cries
the a brave!?to-morrow's another day.
ien^ ? Harper's Weekly.
and V''3i
rhe
ITEMS OP INTEKEST. Jg
A neat buflinesa?The cattle trade.
onfc Chorus of the cider apples?" Just as
_al- we go to press."
his There must be a nerve 8center someiole
where in the nose.
A lfl Wlinn a afar* faVaa frt vq^av IiA
? iruvu ? ovo^ vnavg i>v vuu hhw* uw
you awimB for deer life.
A pistol is not half so dangerqps when
^T8 the owner is not loaded.
^ah ^ cutting from a banana plant stuok
alio 1,1 the ?I0nn<i *?" fcnft *?
ito- The girl who bod two strings to her
[Q'8 bean made an arrow escape from matrilor.
mony.
ove There are well authenticated cases 'of
kes kittens having caught the mumps from
ex children.
t? Siberia is beginning to loom up as a
the great agricultural country?especially
wt~ wheat producing. ? ^
A patent-medicine advertiser says
5 that fat is not conducive to long life.
~~ A fat hog rarely lives through the win?!
^ wr-aeaB
tes In the olden time when a man sailed
the across the seas to humble a rival's fame . I
he brought his arms with him; now he
brings his legs,
A South American has discovered a ;
plant which gives milk, but we don't see
where the fun is to come in, as it can't
turn around and kick the pail over, * ' '-*>1
The 1,869,143,000 cigars made in the
United States during the last fiscal year
would enoirole the globe five times if
placed end to end, and it is estimated
ind 260,000 persons got their living from
? their manufacture.
Robert Templeton, watchmaker ftnd
jeweler, of Ayr, Scotland, has beqneathjY,
ed his whole estate of about 960,000
Jz to rebuild the old bridge of that town,
t popularly known as the "Auld Brig of
^ Ayr," and rendered famous by Burns'
to P06**' "v - ? ^
mB People make too muoh fuss altogether
^ a over these athletio exhibitions. In His
y a greatest match O'Leary didn't walk as
far by seven miles as a weak woman oat
in North Hill did while she was trying
to match the shade of a ribbon.-iter- <; ,
ington Hawkeye.
It is reported that the "Chinese government
has purchased machinery and
engaged experienced engineers and
spinners in Germany to establish cotton
mills in China, so as to free that oountry
from dependence upon English ana
Russian imports." %
)ke ?? What does your husband do ?" asked
the census man. "He ain't doin'nothup
ing at this time of year," replied the
on. rnnnff Tniffl. " Tr lift ft TMHITWM*?" ftflVfld
x>r che census man. She blushed scarlet to
tile the ears. " Law, no! ' she exclaimed,
I of somewhat indignantly. "We ain't been
married more'n six weeks."?Burlington
Hawkeye.
A farmer in Ohio was annoyed by his
sheep getting into a field of grain; each
time he drove them oat he was unsuccessful
in finding an opening - though
which they got in, the fenoe being too
' high, he thought, for them to jnmp over,
so ne ooncluded to watch them, and to
his astonishment he saw a large bnok
leave the flock and place himself by the
n|.. side of the fenoe, then one after the
other of his companions ran np to him,
72n leaped upon his baok and over the fence
*e.n into the field ; the bnok waa the only ona
I in the flock that could get over without
0 the assistance of a " footstool." Is this
not more than instinct 1 Have not animals
a language of Jheir own ?
.diy The French historians describe a
clock sent to Oharlemange in the year
bi8 807, by the famous eastern caliph, Harina
round al Raschid, which was evidently
f urniflhed with some Kind 01 wneeiwor*,
although the moving power appears to
have been produced by the fall of water.
'8 This clock was a rather wonderful affair,
and excited a great daal of attention at
hlfl the French court. In the dial of it were *
jQg twelve small doors forming the divisions
for the hours; each door opened at the
hour marked by the index and let out
small brass balls, which falling on a
bin bell struck the hours?a great novelty
.. at that time. The doors continued
open until the hour of twelve, when
ins twelve figures representing knights on
horseback came out and paraded around
the dial plate.
ed How Astor Lost His Money by Saving It
he In the "Causerie" of the Boston
nd Transcript a good story of Astor is re- ^ ^
tola, unej 01 ms captams uaa nuucu
six voyages to China without a chronometer,
depending on "dead reckonmy
ing"and " lunarsjost before starting
upon the seventh voyage he suggested
to Mr. Astor that it would be
safer to have a chronometer. "Well,
s? get one," fjaid the merchant
bis tain did so, and entered its cost' In. Wf yjjji
account current. When Astor's iye
upon the item he drew his
through it. The captain exposttuaied&lHM
"I tolt you to get one,"said Aatotf^ggj
j ' "I tidn't say I'd pay for it. Tfoeqgh^Spjj
'nc, | tain severed his connection then mK
j there, went into Wall street, enfMUg^ra^
j with other owners, and before!
was in command of as fine a ship
floated in New York's beautiful
three days he was ready for sea,
set sail. At the same time Astor's ship,
of under the command of a new captain,
:ti- set sail also. They had a race for Hong
ats Kong, but the captain who, as he used
or to put it, had discharged John Jaoob ^
is Astor, by keeping the man at the braces,
ter took advantage of every puff of wind *
,nd and won by three days. The ship was4
in loaded jn the shortest time possible,
till and before Astor's vessel, which had
led arrived meantime, was half loaded, our
ish captain weighed anchor, aDcl, with full
es. cargo of tea set sail for Sandy Hook, a
up j arrived in good time, got his ship along' '
is I side the wharf, and began hoisting out
ich his cargo, whioh was sold Dy auotion on
I is the spot. This glutted the market, for
ter the consumption was comparatively
m- small in those days, and when Astor's
red ship came in prices had fallen. Two
mt days later, as the captain was sannter;he
ing down Broadway, ho met his former
is employer. " How muoh did dat chrosd.
nometer cost you?" asked the latter. .
>,a "Six hundred dollars." "Veil," said
mt Astor, "dat was flheap. It costs me
;he over $60,000." The merchantmand the
t. captaigfcave long since paid the long
jh- reckoning, but that chronometer is 8tiQ
is a good time-keeper and' a treasured*
pa. relio, as well.