The McCormick advance. [volume] (McCormick, S.C.) 1886-1887, January 06, 1887, Image 1
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THE MCCORMICK ADVANCE.
DEVOTED TO THE GENERAL WELFARE.
VOLUME II.
McCORMICK, S. C., THURSDAY. JANUARY C. 1887.
NUMBER 42.
In Holland ladies are gradually assum
ing the occupations of the pharmaceutical
assistants. The periodical State exam
inations have Just been held and the re
sult is highly favorable to the sex. Out
of a total fifty-five candidates, nineteen
out of thirty-ono female candidates and
only eight out of twenty-four male can
didates were successful.
There are said to be in Paris more than
80,000 persons who make their living out
of rag gathering and burrowing in tho ash
bins of the city. It is a hereditary call
ing and those who are engaged in it are
strong and robust. This is more than
can be said of the ragpickers of New
York. Their number certainly is in
creasing but their physical decrepitude
seems to grow greater also.
TO FAME.
“Bright fairy of the morn, with flowers ar
rayed
Whose beauties to thy young pursuer
seem
Beyond the ecstasy of poet’s dream—
Shall I o’ertake thee, ere thy lustre fade?
“Ripe glory of tho noon, to dazzled eyes
A pageant of delight and bowor of gold,
Dissolving into mirage manifold—
Do Io’ertake thee, or mistake thy prize?
“Dull shadow of tho ovening, gaunt aud
gray,
At random thrown, beyond me, or above )
And cold as memory in the arms of love —
Have I o’erta’en thee, but to cast away?”
‘No morn, or noon, or eve am I,” she said
“But night, the depth of uight behind the
sun;
By all mankind pursued, but never won,
Until my shadow falls upon a shade.”
—.Harper's Magazine
• Kentuckians will have to give up (ho
idea of the State’s possessing diamond
fields. At the session of the American
Institute of Mining Engineers in St.
Louts the other day the subject came up
for discussion, and it was demonstrated
by Professor Ashburner/of Philadelphia,
that the only basis for such a belief was
the remark of Henry Carlton Lewis be
fore the Hritish Academy of Scientists,
that a slight similarity existed between
the trap rock'of Eastern Kentucky and
the diamond region of Southern Africa.
A newspaper correspondent, however,
had reported him as saying that dia
monds’might be found in the blue grass
State.
Mr. Lui, of the Chinese consulate in
New York, says that there are about
'4,000 Chinamen in that city, or one-tenth
of the whole number in this country and
about one-third as many as there are in
‘■San Francisco. There are 2,000 or 2,500
in the suburbs of New York. Ho says
that they are fond of the metropolis and
are better treated there than elsewhere.
.Very many are married to white women,
and in many instances these have proved
happy unions. He declares that it is a
mistake to suppose that all the China
men are seeking wealth in this country
with the idea of returning to China with
it. Could they become citizens many
would do so, as they like this country
and are fascinated by the comforts and
advantages of Western civilization. They
would not be as happy in China and their
only object in returning, could they do
so and then come back here, would be to
see their parents. Mr. Lui complains of
the injustice of A inerica tt-laws regarding
the Chinese, but speaks hopefully of the
near prospect of a revocation of those
that prevent immigration and naturaliza
tion.
A writer in the Brooklyn tfhion says:
*‘ A long time ago I wrote the opinion ol
an experienced publisher that Mrs. Julia
Dent Grant, or in other words the Grant
family, would derive, in the end, $750,-
000 from the writing! of General U. S.
Grant. Inasmuch as Mrs. Grant has
already received $150,000 and will get
at least $150,000 more from the work
which Grant finished just before his
death, it will be uo difficult matter to
make the material left by General Grant
for another work yield the remaining
$250, GOO. The work to follow the wai
record will be practically a history of
Grant's two terms as President of the
United States. It will be even more in
teresting to the masses than the war rec
ord, but will lack the merit of being the
personal compilation of Grant. His notes,
however, will supply all the facts. A
fair share of the persons who purchase
the war record will want the Presidential
history. Therefore the success of the
work is absolutely assured in advance.
Colonel Fred. Grant has the matter in
hand. I am told that he proposes to be
the publisher himself.”
THE PAWNED WATCH.
presently,
An American who has spent some
months in Liberia writes privately from
Monrovia, the capital, that it is built ou
a'bed of iron ore, nearly pure; that it
contains 5,000 inhabitants, only few of
them white, divided into natives, the
Liberians, or children born there of for
eign parents, and immigrants. The
Kroos, on aboriginal tribe, were formerly
the slave dealers of the coast, and each
man has a blue tattoo mark in the mid
dle of his forehead, extending to the
nose. The women paint themselves from
head to heel, many having the Liberian
or American flag painted on their brows,
but never the British flag, which they
hate. The girls, as soon as they can
walk, are put into the gree-gree bush, a
kind of barbarous convent, where they
are taught their duties as women and
wives. They are usually sold at birth
for connubial purposes, at about $15
each, or half a dozen for $75. A man
may have as many wives as he has money
to pay for. The boys are kept in the
bush until fourteen, when they are con
sidered of age. If the boy3 or girls dis
close the secrets of their bush, or are
caught in another bush than their own,
they are publicly put to death. The
country has some 700,000 aboriginals,
with 20,009 persons of colonial stock,
and nearly all the semi-tropical products
are indigenous there. The government
is modeled exactly after ours. It was
declared an independent state in 1847,
and, the years following, was recognized
as 6uch by Great Britain and France.
The climate, which was once considered
fatal to Europeans, has been recently
much improved by clearances, drainage
and the like, and bids far untimately to
be inhabited by the Western races.
BY REBECCA HARDING DAVIS.
“Taking the line 8, 4 as the
base, I”
David Kershaw's eyes wandered from
the book to the window. There was
nothing to be seen there but a red brick
wall.about three feet distant. Then they
traveled wearily over the walls of his
room, with their soiled red and yellow
paper, the bare floor, the cheap pine
table piled with books, tho cot-bed in
the corner.
“If one had even a fire or a stove!” he
muttered, kicking at the black grating
of the register, through which a feeble
supply of warm air crept into the room.
lie took up his book, scrawling impa
tiently.
“If I takeS, 4 as the base’’ and
again the book dropped on his knee.
“Four years of this 1 Four years of ut
ter solitude 1 You’ve taken too big a
contract, Dave! You can’t go through
with it!” and he fell to staring gloomily
at the bricks outside of the window.
David Kershaw was a country boy,
used to a free, out-door life, to a big
house, with roaring fires, and to a large,
gay family of young people He had
been working for years for the money to
carry him through college, and had come
up to begin his course three months ago.
Ho had not an acquaintance in the
great city. He rented this attic room,
bought his dinner for ten or fifteen cents
at a cheap eating-house, and ate crackers
and cheese for breakfast and supper. His
clothes were coarse and ill-fitting, and
he was painfully conscious of it, aud held
himself haughtily aloof from his fellow
students. College lads are not apt to
break through any shell of pride and sul
len nes to find the good fellow beneath.
They simply let David alone, with a care
less indifference more galling than dis
•like.
He plodded silently from the college
to his bare room, and thence to the mis
erable eating-house day after day.
Being naturally a genial, friendly fel
low, the thought of the four long, lonely
years to come sickened him.
He threw up the window
>aad oifC
of the street into which the alley opened.
A young man on horseback passed at the
moment. It was Jourdan Mitchenor,
one of his class. Ho rode a blooded
mare, and was fully equipped in cordu
roy coat and knickerbockers, cream col
ored leggings, and gauntlets.
“A regular swell 1” thought Kershaw,
laughing good-humoredly. He had no
ticed this Crucsus of the college before.
“He has a good, strong face. Well,
luck’s unevenly divided in this world!”
taking up his book with a sigh.
Half an hour later there was a knock
at the door. David opened it, expect
ing to sec his landlady, but there stood
Mitchener, smiling, whip in hand.
“Mr. Kershaw?” lifting his hat.
“Ashamed not to have known you be
fore, but there are such a lot of us fel
lows, you know. Thanks, yes,” taking
a chair. “My mother saw your name in
a catalogue, and sent me to tell you
that your mother and she were school
mates and friends, ‘Daisy’ and ‘Lily’—
that sort of thing, I believe. My mother
married a city man, and for that reason,
during the years that have passed, has
lost sight of her old schoolmates who
lived away from the city.”
“And my mother married a farmer,
and has been poor all of her life,” inter
rupted David, morosely.
“Yes, yes. American life! Up to-day
and down to-morrow,” carelessly.
Something in Mitchener’s manner made
his wealth and David’s poverty appear
paltry accidents, to which they, as men,
were loftily superior. Before they had
been together ten minutes, David felt
his morbid gloom disappear. He began
to talk naturally and laugh heartily.
“This Mitchei er was a thorough good
fellow,” he wrote home that night.
“Was not conscious, apparently, that he
was worth a dollar.”
The truth was that Jourdan fully ap
preciated the value of his father’s great
wealth, but he was a well-bred and cour
teous young fellow, and knew how to
put a poor and awkward lad at ease.
Kershaw was invited to dinner at Mrs.
Mitchener’s on Sunday. He went about
the next day after this dinner in a daze
of delight, as if he had been passing
through a golden mist, aud had brought
some of it still clinging to him. He
hummed a tune, as he pored over his
problems. lie did not see the bare floor
and hideous wall-paper, but the beauti
ful home in which he had been treated
as an honored guest. The Persian car
pets, the statuary, the table brilliant with
flowers and silver, even the delicious fla
vors of the dishes lingered gratefully on
his long-starved palate. He had met,
too, women more charming and men
more gently-bred than any he had ever
known before.
What a world they lived in! He was
even yet bewildered by his glimpse into
it. Every luxury and delight waited on
the lifting of their hands. Libraries,
galleries of art, operas, balls, vovages to
Europe, to the Nile! This was life! He
wanted more of it— more of it.
Mrs. Mitclmer had asked him to co ne
often; had offered to introduce him to
her friends, “a gay young set,” she said.
Ho walked up and down the room,
flushed and panting. He had never
dreamed of such a world! lie must sec
more of it! How stale and dull the
Latin and mathematics seemed now!
But how to compass it? He could not
go again without a dress-suit. He had j
seen one that day in a second-hand shop,
very cheap. His blood grew hot at the
idea of wearing some other man’s cast-off
clothes, but he pushed that thought
saide.
llow could he raise the money? He
drew out his watch. It was a gold one,
the one luxurious possession in the fam
ily. His father had solemnly given it to
him when he left home, saying:
“It was my father’s. I’ve kept it in
my bureau drawer for twenty years.
Take it, David. You’re goin’ out into
the world. You’ll never disgrace it, my
boy.” Remembering the old man’s face
as he said this, David thrust it back into
his pocket.
“What a snob I am! To part with
daddy’s watch for a suit of old clothes!”
But th*o next moment he thought that
he could pawn it. He would soon have
it back. Save the money, or earn it—
somehow.
It was not as if he were yielding to a
vicious temptation of tho town—gambling
or drinking. The society of these high
bred people would elevate, educate him.
There was a tap at the door, and Mitch
ener came in.
“No, can’t sit down; I’m in a.hurry.
Brought a message from my mother.- She
would like to have you join an opera-
parly to night. Eight or ten young
people. Meet at our house, box at the
opera, and back to supper afterward.
You’ll come? That’s right. Good
morning!”
No! no! Stay! Mr. Mitchener!” His
common-sense suddenly rose strong and
clear. “I ought not to begin this life.
It’s your life, not mine. I‘m a poor man.
I have four years of hard work here be
fore me, and after that my living to earn.
Even the hour at your house yesterday
ruined me for study to-day.”
“Weill well!”said Jourdan,carelessly.
“Don’t be so vehement about it. Going
once to the opera will not make you a
man of fashion for life. Think it over,
and come. Give the college
for a day.
“Oh, bv the way!” he added, coloring
a little. “Cau I be of pecuniary service
to you, Kershaw? No, don’t be offended.
I have more of the filthy lucre than I
know what to do with. Tho fact is, I
was just going to buy a terrier that I
don’t want. Now, if I could lend the
money to you, it would be a real pleasure
to me.”
“Thank you!” Kershaw stammered,
touched, yet angry. “I do not need any
money. I have everything I need—
clothes and all,” he added, with a gulp.
“Now I am in for it!” he groaned,
wnen Mitchener was gone. “If I don’t
go to their party, they’ll think I had no
clothes fit to wear. The watch has to
go!”
Kershaw mechanically thrust his hand
into the pocket of thp coat, and brought
out the tablet and a second later the ring,
which had caught in the lining aud so
escaped the notice of the thief. He
silently held them cut to ner. The power
of speech and action seemed to be frozen
out of him with horror. Mitchener looked
at him excitedly, but said, politely:
“Have you any objections to telling
Mrs. Bellew how the suit came in your
possession?”
Kershaw stared at him a moment, full
of repugnance and contempt for himself.
These were “his new friends!” this was
the party he had parted with his old
father’s gift to enter!
“I did not, of course, steal the clothes,”
he said at last. “Yqu cannot really think
I did that. But I bought them at a pawn
shop to day. I pawned my watch to do
it. I wauted to come here.”
“All right! all right!” interposed
Mitchener, soothingly. “You can send
Mr. Bellew the mvne of the pawnbroker
and he will recover his silver and jew
elry. Mrs. BellewJ: the curtain is up.”
Sho fluttered softly b*ck to her seat, ar
ranging her airy duperies and flowers,
aud glanced meaningly at young Mitch
ener, as if to express disgust for the
poor wretch who had bought cast-off
clothes to thrust himself in among peo
ple whom he regarded as his superiors.
David saw it all, and rose from his seat
panting and trembling.
“Sit down! Sit down!, Kershaw!”
said Mitchener, putting his hand on his
shoulder. David shook it off.
“No; I’ve been -a fool, but I’ve dono
with it all now. I’ll send back the
clothes—”
“Oh no!” said Mrs Bellew, looking
back with a supercilious rmile. “Pray
keep them.”
David left the box, and rushing home,
stunned with rage and shame, tore off
the stolen clothes and carried them to
Mr. Bellew’s house. The next day
the go-by Mitchener, who had a good deal of kind
ness and tact, arranged the matter. The-
pawnbroker, who; was a receiver of
stolen goods, was forced to give up the
plate, jewelry and David’s watch. The
thieves were discovered and punished.
Mrs. Mitchener, still loyal to her old
friend, sent David fan invitation to a ball
the next week. life declined it. “I have
made a mistake,” |ie told Jourdan, “but
I will not do it agsin. My path in life
is straight before i»e. With God's help,
I will keep in it. ” ;
His bitter humiliation had taught him
juster views of life. As time passed, he
made friends among the other students,
clever, unpretentious young fellows, who,
like himself, had their own way to make
in life. His college days passed quickly.
He studied medicine, and returned to his
BUDGET OF FUN.
HUMOROUS SKETCHES FROM
VARIOUS SOURCES.
Greater than Herrmann—A Saving
Philosopher—He was an Esti
mator—Rice at the Fair—
He Didn't Jump, Etc.
“That Parisian trick—tht! Vanishing
Lady—that Herrmann does is a great
one,” said Jones. “He covers a lady
with a veil,and after a little manoeuvring
removes the veil, and tho lady has dis
appeared. ”
“That’s nothing to a young lady in our
boarding house,” answered Brown. “I
have seen ten or twelve persons in the
parlor, and this young lady come in, sit
down to the piano, and begin to play
aud sing. In two minutes all the rest
had disappeared. Talk about Herrmann!
He ain't a patch to her.”—New York Sun.
A Saving Philosopher.
Wan dering phisosopher— ‘ ‘Yes fc
my
dear sir, I’ve reckoned up that by walk
ing down town to my business every day
I have saved $300 in the last ten years.”
Indifferent fellow (who always rides)—
“And your health is better, too?”
Philosopher—“Oh, much better.”
Indifferent fellow—“Well, I am out
that much. Good day! ”
Philosopher—“Ah—by the way could
you lend me $5 for a few days?”—New
York Graphic.
He paced the floor, one minute blaming native town to practice,
himself for a snob, the next thrilled with Twenty years afterward, Mr. Jourdan
delight at the thought of tho evening’s Mitchener, passing through this town,
S leasure. His books lay neglected all
ay. He could not quiet the raging
whirl and confusion in his mind enough
to think of study.
He decided on nothing until nearly
dark, when he rushed out, pawned tho
watch for one-fourth its value, and
bought the evening suit. There was not
money enough left to buy the shoes
gloves, etc., necessary to complete the
iress. When he was ready to go, even
ly
j r >»i his inexperienced eye could seo'that his
■mUpufc-tun haad nyt 4o catrrh a glimpse CUSnjluu UUl^wfc c.Pl (Wniffl US 11 ltNvefe
His friends—his
Who would care
made for him.
But what matter?
welcome—the music,
what clothes he wore?
Arrived at Mrs. Mitchener’s, he did not
find himself at all at ease. That lady
was quite occupied with her duties as
hostess, and received him with careless
civilty, giving her attention to her other
guests. They talked of people aud things
of which he knew nothing. The tall,
aw r kward lad, his hair carefully oiled and
parted, his red hands protruding from his
short coat-sleeves, sat silent, and felt
thoroughly miserable and out of place.
Now and then he thought he saw one of
the dainty women near by scanning him
with furtive glances.
They drove to the opera-house and en
tered one of the proscenium boxes.
Davd had a seat at the back, where he
could catch but an occasional glimpse of
the stage and the brilliant audience. He
had been the leader of the choir at home,
and fond of the waltzes and marches
which his sister played on the old piano,
and fancied himself a connoisseur in
music. But he was not educated to un
derstand this music.
A very pretty, flighty young lady,Mrs.
Bellew, who was the chaperone of the
tried politely to make him talk to
She turned to Jourdan
of her bare shoul-
now one of the most important cities in
Pennsylvania, became suddenly ill, and
wa3 attended for several weeks by Dr.
Kershaw. He K urd from others of the
high position he#? : fcty the physician in
the community; not only as the head of
his profession, but as an influential citi
zen,- foremost in every good work, the
founder of asylums, while h : s family were
the centre of the most cultured circle in
the city.
Mitchener had
"and liadTontmucd to live only
of fashionable amusement,
have I gained by it?” he
. arried a very wealthy
ontmned to live only
woman,
fn pursuit
“And what
thought, bitterly. “If I were to die to
morrow, I should be remembered only as
the man who kept the best French cook
in New York.”
“You were right,” he said to the doc
tor when he came that afternoon. “You
wore right to keep to your own straight,
honorable path, and refuse to ape
fashion.”
“I tried it once, you remember,” said
the doctor, smiling. “The most for
tunate event of my life was my humilia
tion about my pawned watch. It was a
bitter dose, but it cured me effectually.
Every tick of this old watch since”—
drawing it out—“has said to me: ‘Don’t
be a snob. Keep steadily on your own
path.’ I owe much to Mrs. Bellew. Her
treatment of me and my foolish act
turned me back from the wrong road. It
would have made my life a failure.”—
Youth's Companion.
Ho was an Estimator.
“What’s all this crowd doing here?”
asked a stranger, as he found the pave
ment blockaded in front of a Broadway
store.
“Why,” replied a bystander, “the
proprietor offers a prize for the closest
guess as to the number of beans in that
bottle.”
“How are the guesses running?”
“From 900 up to 15,000.”
rt Oh, pshaw! Why, there must be at
least 100,000 beans in that bottle.”
“Where might you be from, stranger? ”
“I? Oh, I’m from the West. I’ve
been out there-estimating the population
of cities from the number of names in the
directories. ”— 'fid-Bits.
ler, but in vain.
shrug
at last with a
ders.
“Your friend,’’she whispered, “seems
to be absorbed by liis own thoughts. He
does not look as if he were enjoying
himself. Who is he?”
“One of my mother’s last hobbies; a
student in the college from the coun
try,” he replied, in the same tone.
They turned to the stage. Kershaw
saw their smiles, aud knew they were
talking of him. Ills brain was on fire.
Why had he come here? Was he not the
equal of these dainty folk, as well-born,
as virtuous, as clever, as they? They
dared to despise him becau e he was
awkward and ill-dressed!
Iu his embarrassment and misery he
thrust his hand into the breast-pocket of
his coat, and drew out a little painted
paper tablet, which he fingered mechan
ically, scarcely noticing what it was un
til he saw Mrs. Bellew’s eyes fixed on it
witn amazement and suspicion. When
the curtain fell on the first act, she came
back to him, making some incoherent
remarks about the play, while she looked
at him keenly. Suddenly she grew pale,
and interrupting herself in the middle of
a sentence, said to Kershaw: t ‘Will you
be good enough at the close of the next
act to go with me aud Mr. Mitchener into
the anteroom? I would like to speak
with you.” *
When they had reached the anteroom
at the close of the act, she said: “I have
a most disagreeable quest on to ask. Mr.
Kershaw. Our house was robbed by
burglars last Monday, and silver and jew
elry aud clothes were taken. Among
the rest was an evening suit of my hus
band’s. You have it ou! ”
“Aren’t you mistaken, Mrs. Bellew?”
said young Mitchener. “One dress suit
is exactly like another, and—”
“My husband,” she went on,excitedly,
“wore it to a ball the night before it was
stolen. As we came home, he put my
tablet, with my dances on it, in one
pocket. In the other was my ruby ring,
which was too large for my glove. Mr.
Kershaw has the tablet in his pocket.”
Transforming Shakespeare’s Sayings.
All the simple proverbs used in our
every-day work and life are drawn from
Shakespeare. A few of them are:
Shakespeare:
The sun sniues hot, and if we use delay
Cold-biting winter mars our hoped-for hay.
Modern form: Make hay while the sun
shines.
Shakespeare.
What fates impose,that men must needs abide,
It boots not to resist both wind and tide.
Modern form: Wind and tide wait for no
man.
Shakespeare: ’Tis the more honor, because
more dangerous.
The place of honor is the
Modern form:
post of danger.
Shakespeare:
forewarned.
Modern form:
Shakespeare:
1 will arm me, being thus
Strike now or else the iron
Forewarned, forearmed
Both of you are birds of
self-same' feather.
Modern form: Birds of a feather flock to
gether.
Shakespeare:
cools.
Modern form: Strike while the iron is hot.
Shakespeare:
‘That would be a ten days’ wonder at the
least.
That's a day longer than a wonder lasts.”
Modern form: A nine days’ wonder.
Shakespeare: The common people swarm
like summer flies.
Modern form: Swarm like flies.
Shakespeare: And I forgive and quite
forget old faults.
Modern form: Forgive and forget.
The Mysterious Sphinx.
The Sphinx occupies a position where
the encroachment of the desert is most
conspicuous. At the present day nothing
is to be seen of the animal except its
head and its neck, but the old Fgyptian
monuments on which it is figured show
not only the entire body down to the
paws, but also a large square plintn be
neath covered with ornaments. Since
the time of the Greeks, perhaps even
since the reign of Thothincs IV., this
plinth has disappeared beneath the sand,
and its very existence had been forgot
ten. It is generally supposed that tho
Sphinx is hewn out of a large isolated
rock, which overlooked the plain. But
M. Maspero’s recent researches suggest
that it is a work yet more stupendous.
He has proved that the Sphinx occupies
the centre of an amphitheatre, forming
a kind of rocky basin, the upper rim of
which is about on a level with tho head
orthc animal. The walls of this uinplii
theatre, wherever visible, are cut by the
hand of man . ^ .
Rice at the Fair,
Everybody, almost, knows what a
wide-out sliort-up figure Billy Rice, the
minstrel, has. Well, about two weeks
ago (at least so we are informed) Billy
was at an agricultural show in a one-
night-stand town, and as he stood in a
thoughtful attitude contemplating the
exhibit, tho editor of the county paper
and a farmer passed by.
“Look there,” whispered the editor,
‘that’s Rice.”
“Where?” inquired the farmer.
“There,” said the editor, pointing to
ward William.
“Rice?” repeated the farmer inquir
ingly.
‘‘Yes.”
“Well, by gosh, it's tho funniest rice
I ever seen. It looks a blame sight more
like a punkin. Le’s go an’ take a look
at it.” t
Billy, met the farmer half way and
|>«m.lyAd him. TFl—*hus<iiH»
He Didn’t Jump.
Sunday afternoon a man suddenly ap
peared at a three-story window in an un
finished building on Grand River street
and seemed to begin^ircparations to
commit suicide Ly leaping to the pave
ment. A crowd of forty or fifty people
speedj^y gathered in a half-circle below,
and a .hough all seemed to be aware of
what" was going on not a voice was
raised to prevent the stranger carrying
out his designs. lie removed his coat
and looked down^ns if estimating the
distance. Then ne removed his vest
and looked down again. Some of the
crowd asked each other in low tones if
his intention was to jump, and were an
swered that there was no doubt of it.
The man removed his collar and tie after
hi3 vest, and then spit on his hands and
took his position square in the window.
No one below moved a foot. There was
half a minute of silence, during which
everybody mentally calculated on the
exact spot he would strike, and some
thing like a shudder passed over the
crowd. Then the unknown spit on his
hands once more, raised them above his
head, and calmly remarked :
“My friends,this is to inform you that
I shall occupy thi9 building November 1
with a large and well selected stock of
staple and fancy groceries. I shall do a
strictly cash business, and it will be my
aim to ”
But the last one had turned the corner.
—Detroit Free Press.
across the hall. By that time I was reck
less. I seized a strap and pulled. The
whole thing began to come. 1 strapped
it half way and considered. Considering
was hard work. So was holding. I
pulled. It came, and I went. But I
didn’t go far enough, aud the bed caught
me. 1 was underneath. The Charleston
man on the floor below dreamed he was
at home.
“Well, when I got out and took an in
ventory, I was minus considerable skin,
but the accession of my eyebrow bal
anced things. The bed was open, but
the middle was way below the average.
But I was too impatient to be particular.
With considerable emphasis I turned out
the gas and rolled in. As soon as I hit
the bed it shut up—that is, as close as it
could. It was close enough. For about
ten minutes I would have swapped
places with any one of the seven anar
chists and given him odds. When I got
out of that place there was not enough
left of the bed-clothes to make a respect
able bandage. I know, because I tried
it. What I suffered you will never
know.
“This morning the landlady informed
me, that had sho known I was subject to
delirium tremens, she would have re
fused the admittance that gave me a
chance to ruin tho reputation of her
boarding house. As I left the house the
boarders poKed their heads out and whis
pered : ‘That’s him; he had ’em bad last
night,’ and similar encouraging remarks.
—New York News.
Mother Goose.
Mother Goose's maiden name was
Elizabeth Foster. She was born iu
Charlestown, Mass., in 1035, and married
Isaac Goose, of Boston, in 1693. She
was his second mate, and began her ma
ternal life a stepmother to ten children.
She added six more to that number.
Think of it! Sixteen goslins to a single
goose 1 Is it any wonder that she poured
out her feelings in the celebrated lines:
“There was an old woman, who lived in a
shoe,
She had so many children she didn’t know
what to do?”
FLOOD AND EBB.
The breeze sinks down, and the long reach
Of barren sands
In the hot sun seems like the beach
Of desert lands.
Among the rocks no children run
Only some poor old women come
For driftwood drying in the sun.
’Tis full high noon, the tide is out,
We quiet are.
God knows what storms may sweep without
Tho harbor bar.
The sudden squall, the veering gale
May tear and wreek the distant sail
Of him we love. Our weak hearts fail*
’Tis sunset; the returning tide
Creeps up the sands..
The waves gleam with warm colors dyed
From tropic lands.
The fresh breeze wafts the sounds of joy
From lips of many a happy boy
To whom each wave brings a new toy.
A snow-white sail flits •‘cross the bar,
The light is past
But ere appears the evening star,
He comes at last.
His ship is moored. With him beside
My doubting heart, can dread abide I
Shall I to-morrow fear ebb tide f
—Springfield Republican.
Yet her family cares sat lightly upon
her and she survived Father Goose many
years. Still, she stayed by her nest and
ted her flock until they were able to swim
by themselves. One of her daughters
married Thomas Fleet, a printer by trade,
with whom she went to live and insisted
on being a nurse to his children, and
there she lived and sang from morning
until night:
“Up stairs aud down stairs,
And in my lady’s chamber.”
Thomas Fleet sold songs and ballads
at his printing office, and one day a
happy thought struck him. So, while
she sat in her arm chair or shuffled about
the house lost in sweet dreams, he care
fully wrote down what he could of her
rhymes which fell from her lip3. Soon
ho had enough to make a volume.
These he now printed and sold under the
tit eof “Mother Goose Melodies for Chil
dren. T. Fleet, Printer. Pudding Lane,
1719. Price, two coppers.” Tho Rev.
J. M. Manning, D.D., formerly pastor
of the Old South Church, Boston, at a
festival not many years t-ince spoke very
truly, to my mind, when he said: “Not
et* or Shakespeare is so sure of im ®
aWaww^SiuiLiu GUUkHT’TcrnsTU-
eriog the love iu which her melodies are
everywhere held, their freedom from any
thing which might corrupt or mislead
the infantile mind, their practical wis-
dsm, their shrewd mystery and motives
of human conduct, one is in all soberness
forced to admit that her name is among) “Damp,
the brightest of the jewels which adorn
the brow of the Old South. Let us hope
that the day is not far distant wrhen a
memorial statue will be erected to this
venerable old lady in one of the parks or
squares of Boston.” — Lewiston (Me.)
Journal.
PITH AND POINT.
A marriage in high life—a wedding in
the attic.
A scientist went out the other night
in a gale to see what color the wind was,
and found it blew.—Carl Pretzel.
The Woman's Journal asks: “Whom
shall our daughters marry?” What’s the
matter with the meal—Philadelphia Call.
Speculator—“How do you think
wheat i3 going to turn?” Pater Famil-
lias—“Into bread I suppose.—Boston
Budget.
In the fall the gobbling turkey,
’Bout the barnyard proOdly struts,
Heedless that November murky
Finds him cooked and staffed with nuts.
—Life.
Three thousand people in Russia are
making barrel organs, and now we can
begin to understand why dynamite is
so popular in the land of the Czar.—
Graphic.
The Phrenological Journal says: 4 ‘In
choosing a wife, be governed by her
chin.” A man is apt to be governed by
tho same thing after he gets a wife.—
Kansas City Squib.
“These newspapers’ll never get done
pitching into the oleomargarine manu
facturers,” said old Mrs. Piaaphor,
glancing at an article headed “Corruption
in Greece,” in a daily paper.
Old Mr. Bently (reading the paper)—*
1 ‘I see that Solomon has been inaicted
for bigamy. Old Mrs. Bently—“Well,
it’s ’bout time. The idea of a man hav
ing seven hundred wives.”—Neto York
Sun. ’
By fastening the hammd
clock back with a string (
set it, you can make sura t
been
Sailor— 44 Ay,
The Fatal Folding Bed.
Capital Punishment in China.
In China, writes a Chinaman in the
Columbia Jurist, capital punishment often
depends upon the whim of the officer of
the law. Here is an instance: Pen Ta
Ren, the Rear Admiral of the Yangtze
district, was passing up that river and
chanced to overhear a quarrel between a
boatmen and a soldier over tho matter of
two cash—the price of ferriage across a
small stream. The Admial took in the
situation. The soldier had been ferried
over the stream, and then refused to pay
the poor ferryman. There \yas a principle
involved. A large number of soldiers
were looking on and apparently enjoying
the ferryman’s rage at the loss of his
wages. An example was needed, and
the “Great Man,’.’ us his name signifies,
who was incognito, being on a tour of
personal inspection, ordered the soldier
beheaded, which was done on the spot.
Willful murder, piracy and confirmed
thieves fall under the beheadsman ax.
Infanticide, however, is not included as
murder. The parent, by Chinese law,
An expression of profound gloom on has the right of life over his own child;
hence the practice of female infanticide.
Capital pnnishment can be met by
proxy and the law be satisfied. It is no^
uncommon, therefore, when a man c f
money is sentenced to death that he can,
the face of a friend led to inquiries which
elicited a tale of sorrow and suffering.
“Do I look mournful?” he asked. “Do
I bear the appearance of a man whose
soul has been entered by the iron of ad
versity? Well, that’s the way I feel.
“You know, I moved day before yes
terday. Well, hurt by the unfee’ing re- j
marks of my late landlady aud the fact
that she retained my trunk (as a gage !
d’amour, I suppose) I sought the seclu
sion of a West Side boarding house. The
room is pleasant and the man who occu- \
pies the other half a very nice fellow. !
Night before last I went home early, and
when ready my new chum boldly ap
proached an innocent-looking piece of
furniture, and after a little sparing
for time let in with right and left
and brought to view a comfortable
bed. I had never seen a folding-bed
before, and was a little astonished.
However, I made no remarks butturned
in. Last night my chum was out, and
I didn't know what to do. I loafed
around the room, now and then casting
a glance at the folded bed and admiring
its compactness and air of gentility, but
somehow I did not feel like tackling it
all by myself. But it had to be done. I
remembered that my chum had first
lifted the top. I did that. But when I
let go it came back with a slam that
j by the use of money, secure a stay of
! proceedings long enough to obtain a sub
stitute. This is done by making an offer
of one, two or more hundred “taels”
(ounces of silver, about 133£ cents, our
, standard) for a substitute. Some impe
cunious family, often having 200 or 300
| members, as the patriarchal plan of do-
: mestic economy prevails, will agree
i among themselves that they will furui--h
; a substitute for the proffered sum. Lot
is then cast to determine the victim, and
the doomed man acc?pts his fate with
stoical indifference upon the ultra pre
destination theory that his time has come,
else the lot would not have fallen to him
individually. He accordingly presents
himself to the court, and the convicted
man die; by proxy, while the family of
the deceased enjoy the proceeds of the
arrangement.
It is the most humiliating of our conti
nental disgraces that a man can steal
$500,000 in the United States and be
protected from punishment by the Cana
dian government. And it is a sad com
mentary on our civilization that the two
started the baby owned by the second J greatest nations of the earth cannot
floor front into a wild symphony of woe
Then I sat down aud thought. To gain
time on the bed I undressed. Say, did
it strike you as chilly last night? No?
Well, it was. Indeed, it was cold. The
combination of that fact and my abbre
viated costume urged me to renew the
attack. This time I pushed the top past
the center of the spring, and when re
leased it went on with a noise loud
enough to arouse the pug in the room
agree upon a plan of extradition which
shall not be in favor of thieves and ras
cals.— Chicago News.
Charleston has had eight earthquakes
since its settlement in i860. The first
was iu 1754 aud the last before the re-
c.nt destructive one was in 185^. None
were attended with loss of l fe or, ex
cepting that in 1811, with damage to
property
Stranger—“You say
shipwrecked four times?”!
ay, me hearty..” Stranger—“And what
are your sensations when the wild wavea
break over you .and you feel yourself
sinking under the water!’* Sailor—
Siftings;
“What nonsense 1” exclaimed Brown,
looking over the bill of fare; “what do
they want to put all this French here
fori” “Why,” replied Flagg, “I think
it very aupropriate. ” “And why sol”
“Simply to match the foreign matter in
the food.”—Bjston Transcript.
“Funny, wasn’t ; it, about that Mis
souri bank which went into liquidation
the other day having $15,090 more assets
than liabilities?” “I prefer to wait for
particulars,” replied the other. “What
particulars?” “I think the president
was either too honest to speculate or too
lame to skip. The- machinery slipped a
cog somewhere. ’J— Wall Street News.
A Gum Chewing Contest.
The most grotesque feature of the
evening at the exposition was the chew
ing gum tournament. Old people were
dragged up to the Richardson Drug
Company's stand by roguish youngsters,
who forced them to join in, and the fa
cial contortions of some who have long
siuce bid a regretful farewell to their
organs of mastication were immensely
abiurd. Twenty thousand cakes were
provided, but these failed to hold out,
owing to the general attack on the dis
tributors. Several young ladies were
heard to repeat that not even the pros
pect of winning a pint bottle of perfume
could induce them to do anything so
vulgar as to chew, but soon afterward
the makers of the most vigorous protests
were running ahot race with the others.
A young lady from Eureka Springs suc
ceeded in disposing of twelve cakes in
an hour, and had a genuine- walk-over
for the first prize, as the second best had
not got rid of her sixth cake when
“time” was called. Only young ladies
were regarded as competing for the per
fume bottles, but several grave and rev
erend seigniors were impressed into the
tournament, including at least one occu
pant of a seat on the 1 judicial bench and
two or three doctors. Cakes were of-
fered to the jubilee singers with a po
litely conveyed suggestion that they
should take a rest from their singing,
but these five Ethiopians proved almost
the only individuals who declined to
participate.—St. Louis Globe-Democrat.
Badinage of the MinisteA.
There wos a meeting of the preachers
of Lynchburg, Va., and when it was
breaking up Dr. John Hannon could not
find his hat. Turning to the Rev. R.
Acree, he said :
“One of you Baptists has my hat.”
“Then,” said Brother Acree, “your
hat has more brains in it than ever be
fore.”
A few's days after that Dr. Hannon
was passing by Brother Acree’s yard
gate, and when urged to come in he
said:
“I am on my way to preach.”
“\ r ou can’t preach,” replied Brother
Acree.
4 ‘So I felt for a long time,” replied
Dr. Hannon; “but since hearing you,
the other day, I have changed my mind.”
—Richmond Religious Herald.
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