[ifHElGEEENYILLE ENTERPRISE.
... . ? , ti ....... , , . , . ,| V,r 1 J ' _
Dnjoltb to Jims, Polilics, 3ntfUigntcf, nnt* lijt 3mpro?inunt of li)e Biait onir Cowtrtrg.
JOHN C. & EDWAKD BAH.EY. P?(r88. , GREENVILLE. SODTH CAROLINA, NOVEMBER 9. 1870. VOLUME XYIf-r-NO. 25.
G. F. TOWNE8, EDITOR.
J. C. BAILEY, ASSOCIATE
Hubscuiptios Two Dollar* per.annum.
DwaunifSWBNT* lumrtad at the rala* of
dollar per aquar* >' tw?lr? Mlnten Hum
(|(Ui pised lyp?) on U*a for Mm In' insertion,
fifty cent* each for the aeonnd and third loacrtioop,
an 1 twenty-five eanl* for, n'ofqaenl
rLBerUeiM. Yearly contract* will l>? made.
, Ali fcdTorlUanianta mapt bar* the number
lt.ar.tion* tnarkedon Iptn, or they will ba
finvtiu'd till ordered oat, and charged for.
Vnlaas ordered otherwise, Advertisement*
kvlll jn variably be "displayed.", . , .
Obituary notice*, and all mutter* inuring to
to tb* benefit of any one, are regarded a*
Advert lament*.
Only a Word.
* . ...
a inTimw wnre, a iuirp niixi,
< A parting h> angry huto,
The tan that rote on a hower of bll?a,
The loving look and the tendor kiss,
Ilua t(t on a barren vuia,
Where pilgrims tread with weary feat
Paths doatlned never mora to meeet.
A frivolous word, a sharp retort,
A momcrt that biota out years,
Two livaa aro wrecked on a a??rtny chore,
Whore hillowa of passion surge and roar,
To hreak in a f pray of teara;
Tears ahed to tdind the cere red pair
Drifting acawnrd and drowning there.
A frivolous word, a sharp retort,
A flurli from a passing cloud.
Two hearts nre scathed to'their Inmost eore,
Ate ashea and dust for everntore.
Two faces turn to tba crowd,
Masked by pride with a life-long lie,
To hide tbo scars of the agony. _
A frivolous word, a sharp retort,
Alas! that it should he so I
The petulant speech, the careless tongue.
Have wrought more evil, and done more
wrong,
llnvc brought to the world more woe,
Than alt the armies age to age
Record on hist'ry'a blood stained page.
All ike Yemr floHttd.
4 It's no ii6e, Maria, I've tried
every where."
44 But yon are not going to give
up, Peter!''
* Give op? flow can I help it?
vV ithin Four days I have been to
every lamkbindery in the city, and
not a hit of work can I get."
44 Hut have you tried anything
else V%
" \Vliat else can I try ?"*
44 Why, anvthing that von can
do."
44 Yes, I've trie,d other thing*. I
have been to more than a dozen of
my friends and offered to help
therii it they would hire me."
44 And what did you mean to do
for them?"
441 offered to post thein ac
counts, ntake out bills, or attend
the counter."
Mrs. Stan wood smiled as her
husband thus spoke.
44 What makes you smilef" he
asked.
44 To think you should have itn
ngined that yon would find work
in such places."
Peter St an wood was 11 bookbinder
bv trade, and had now been out
of employment over a month. Uu
was one of those who generally
calculated to keep aliout square
with the world, and who consider
themselves particularly fornmate
it they keep out of debt. lie was
now thirty years ot age, and had I
been married eigbt years. Ue had
three children to provide tor, besides
himself and wife; and this,
together with house rent, was a
heavy draft upon bis purse, oven
when work was plenty; but now
there was nothing.
44 Maria," he said, stopping and
gazing at his wife in the face,
44 we must starve. I have not a
single |?ennv in the world."
" Bat do not d Spair, Peter.?
Try again tomorrow for work.?
You may find something to do.?
a ? 1
? >)ium i? ih'iic^i is Honorable.
Should you niuke but a
shilling a day, wo should uot
starve."
4k Hut our house rent V*
44 Trust me for thst; the la dlord
shall not turn us out. If you
will eugsge to find some work to
d<s I'll sue that we have house
room,'*
44 III innko one more trial," uttered
Peter, despairingly.
44 But you must go prepared to
do any thing "
"Am thing reasonable, Maria?
any thing decent."
The wife felt almost Inclined to
inile, but the matter was too serious
for that, and a cloud passed
...... I ? o? - < '
Mvor hit met*, one Knew iter litis*
band's disposition, and tdie felt sure
lie would look about for some sort
of work which would not lowor
liiin in the social scale, as he had
otiCe or twice expressed it. How*
over, she knew it would bent no
tue to say anything to him now,
and she let the matter pass.
On the following morning the
last bit of food in the house was
put upon the table. Btunwood
could liardly realize that he was
jmnniie** ana without t?>od. Yet
ftlie trui U was naked and clear ;
and when Ito left the house henaid,
M Something mast be done.1*
# >
N?? sooner hnd die linsband gone
than Mrs. Stan wood put oh Iter
bonnet and shawl, tier eldest
child was a girl seven years old,
and her youngest fonr. She ask
ed her next a??or neighbor if she
would take care of her, children
until ,.jpwo. These children were
known to be good and 'quiet, and
they were taken cheerfully. Then
Mia. Stnnwowd locked up the house
and went away. She returned at
fwxtft, bringing soine food for her
children; and then tretit away .
again. Site got homo in the even* |
iug t?ef??re her husband, carrying
a heavy basket on her arm.
** Well, Peter/' she asked, after
her husband had entered and sat
down, ?' what luck did you have?"
" Nothing?nothing!" he groaned.
*41 made out to s<pitt?e a
dinner out of an old cbtni), out 1
can't find work." . .
u And where hare you looked
to-day f"
4* Oh, everywhere. I have been
to a hundred places, hut it's the
sa.ue In every place. It is nothing
but one eternal 4not no' I am
tii?<1 and sick of it."
" Hilt what sort of work have
you offered to do ?"
44 Why, f even went so far aa to
offer to tend a liqnor store down
town.**
The wife smiled.
HN'iw, what shall we do!" uttered
Peter, spasmodically.
" Why, we'll eat supper first,
and then alk the matter over."
"Supper! have yon got any !"
. 44 Yos, plenty of it." j
44 Hut you told me you had
none.4'
*4 Neither had we this morning,
but I've been after work to day,
and found some." i
44 You 1 You been after work !"
uttered the husband in surpriso.
44 Yes."
44 Hut howl where! what!"
44 Why, first I went to Mrs.
Snow's. I knew her girl was sick,
and I hoped she might have work
to be d<?ne. 1 went to her and told
her rny storv, and she set me to
work at once doing her washing.
She gave me food to hring home
for the children, and naiu me
threeshillings when I got through."
aa aa? i a ? ?
- wiihi: you navcn't t>een out
working tor our butcher's wife if"
said Peter, looking very much surprised.
"Of course I have, and have
thereby earned etottgh to keep us
in food through to morrow, at any
rafo; so to morrow yo'u may come
lioiite to dinner."
44 Put how about rent P
44 O'i, I have seen Mr. Simpson,
and ttJd him just how we are situated.
and ottered him my watch
us a pledge for the payment of our
rent within two months, with the
interest on all arrears to that date.
I told him I did the business because
you were away bunting for
work.*
4* So he's pot your watch P
4,No; he wouldn't take it. Ue
said if I would become responsible
for the payment bo would let it
rest."
44 Then wo have sot a roof to
cover us, and food lor to morrow.
But what next I Oh what a cur&s
111cMi hard times are !"
" Don't despair, Peter, for we
shall not starve. I've got work
enough engaged to keep us alive."
"Ah I What's that?"
M Why, Mr. Snow has engaged
me to carry small packages, baskets,
bundles, dec., to rich custom
era. lie has had to give up one
of his horses."
"What do yon mean. Maria?"
"Just what I say. When Mr.
Snow came home to dinner, I was
there, and asked hi in it he over
had light articles which he wished
to send round to his customers.?
Never mind, all that was said.?
He did happen to want just inch
work done, though he meant to
call upon some of the the idlers
who lounge about the maiket.?
lie promised togite ine all the
work he could, and I ain to be
there in good season in the morn
ing."
" Well, tlii# is a pretty go 1 My
wife turned butcher boy I You
Won't do any such a thing."
"And why not?"
44 Becanso ? because?"
44 Say because it will lower me
in the social scale."
44 Well, and so it will."
44 Then it is more honorable to
lie still and starve, and see one's
c ildren starve, too, than to per*
form honest wo-kt I tell yon,
Peter, if you cannot work, I must.
We should have been without
bread to-night, had I not found
lifiwlr t a. t\ Q u V All lr?.v? .11 l:?i- I
WIM V* VIWJ* * V1? MHVW Pit AIIIMV
of light. agreeable butineM art
-zed npon by tho#e who hate
particular friend# or relative* engaged
iu them. At tueh a time a#
i hi# it i# not for a# to eonaider
what kind of work we will do, ao
long a# it i# honest. Ob 1 give me
the liberty of living upon my own
i i \
desert*, and the independence to
l?e governed by my own conviction
of right,"
"But,,my wife,only think?von
carrying out bnteher'e *tuff.?
Why, 1 would sooner go and do it
myself.",
" If you will go," said the wife,
with A smile, " I will stay at home
and take eare of the Children."
- It was hard for Peter 8tanwood ;
but the more he thought upon the
ihatter the more lie saw the jus- j
tlce Snd rlfflit ?\f th? notli U m-!..?(. .
? - p - . ? V m ^'??? U f* IVH
hi? wife had led him. Bcfoie he
went to bed he promised that he
wonld go to the butcher'? in the
morning.
And Peter Stan krnod went upon
his new business. Mr. 8now greeted
him aarmly, praised his faithful
wife, and then sent him off
with two baskets?one to go to
Mr. 8mitk's, and one to a Mr.
Dixal's. And the new carrier
worked all day, and when it came
night he had earned just ninety
seven cents. It had been a day ol
trials to him, and all his acquaintances
whom he had met had
greeted l.irn as usual. lie was
far happier than he was when he
went home the night before, tor
n<>w be was independent.
So the next day he earned over
a dollar; and thus he continued
to work a week, and at the end of
that time he had five dollars and
seventy-five cents in his pocket,
besides having paid for all the
food for his family, save somo few
pieces of m&it Air. Snow had
given him.
One day Peter had a basket of
provisions to carry to Mr. W. It
was his former employer. He
took the load upon Ins arin and
started off, and just as he was entering
the yard of the customer he
met Mr. W. coming out.
"Ah, Stanwood, is this yon,"
asked his old employer, kindly.
u Yes, sir." .
44 W hat are yon doing now 1"
44 Pin a butcher's boy, sir I"?
You see I've brought your provi ions
fur you, sir; I'm a regular
butcher's boy."
44 And how long have yon been
at work thus f"
44 This is tne tenth day, sir."
4* Put don't it come hard ?"
44 Nothing comes hard so long as
it is honest, and will furnish iny
family with bread."
44 And how much can you make
a day t"
"Sometimes over a dollar, and
sometimes not over fifty cents/'
44 Well, now, look here, Stan
wood, there have been no less than
a dozen of my old hands hanging
around my counting-room for a
fortnight whining for work. They
are stout, able met), and yet they
lie still because I have no work
for them. Last Saturday I took
pity on Leeds, and offered him
the job to do my hand carting. I
told him I would give him a dollar
and a quarter a day, but he
turned up his nose and asked me
not to insult him; yet he owned
that his family were snflering.~
But do you come to my place to
morrow, and von shall have something
to do, if it is only to hold
t?An *** T a- ?'?
Bomb lorert' qn*-rels bogin and
some end with a smack.
? 1
juui uciivu up. & ih'iiw yuu iur
your manly independence/*
Peter grasped tlie old man's
Viand's witli a joyons, grateful grip,
and blessed him fervently. That
night he he gave Mr. Snow notice
that be most quit, and on the following
morning be went to the
bindery. For two days be had
but little to do, but on the third
day a heavy job came in, and Peter
Stan wood had steady work.?
lie was happy? more happy than
ever, for he had learned two
things: first, what a noble wife
he had; and, second, how much
rMOUrcxA fnr mwtd ho had in iiia
own energies.
Our simple pictnre has two
points to its moral. One is, no
man can be lowered by any kind
ot honest labor. The second, while
you are enjoying the fruits of the
present forget not to provide for
the future; for no man is so snre
that the duy may come when he
will need the squanderings of the
past.
Thk Siamese Twins.?These
ell-known gentlemen are now at
their homes near Mt. Airy, but
are sadly afflicted. It has been
known for some time that Eng had
been seized with an attack of paralysis,
but few knew it to have
been so severe as was really the
case. Both brothers have been
compelled, by the affliction of one to
be in bed. Eng is now able to be
up, but his left hand and leg,(the
side next his brother) are useless,
lie goes with a crutch nnder his
right arm, and his left foot is sup
ported by a leather strap which hit
brother holds up as he hobbles
along.?Salem (If. C.)Preu.
Fell Flowing.
The advantages of Fall plowing
are set lortb by George F. Hoi'
brook, ot Vermont, as follows :
Without elaborating the many
strong points in favor of Fall plow*
ing, a tew < f the more prominent
benefit* may be briefly stated as
follows:
1. August and September is a
good time to torn over bound out
sod land, and manure and re seed
it once to grass, obtaining a crop
of bay the following year.
9. October and November is an
excellent time to break up sod land
for planting the following Spring.
8 The weather is then cool and
bracing, and the team strong rand
hearty for the work, while the
weather in the Spring is mor^a re?laxing
and the teain less abiff; atffr
Spring work being always hurrying,
it saves time to dispatch as
much of the plowing as possible
during the previous autumn.
4. Sod land broken op early in
autumn will be quite free from
growing grass the following
spring; tbo roots of the late overturned
sward being so generally
killed by the immediately sue
ceeding winter that not much
grass will readily 6tart in spring.
5. The frosts of winter disintegrate
the plowed land, so that it
readily crumbles in tine particles
in spring, and a deep, mellowseed
bed is easily made. The
chemical changes and modifications
rest Iting from atmospheric
action during the winter develop
latent fertility in the upturned lur
rows, which, together with the
mellowing influences, materially
increase the crop.
0. Most kinds of insects are
either wholly destroyed, or their
depredations materially checked,
by late fall plowing, especially the
common white grub and the cutworm.
7. Corn stubble-land may be
Elowed late in the fall, and thus
o all ready for very early sowing
in spring, thereby going far to insure
a good catch of gross; the
roots of the new seeding getting
hold well, or beini? well estahlifth
ed, before tlje droughts of buturner
come on.
Where the subsoil is fine grained,
and unctuous and close, or
where theie is a hard pan of good
quality, deep plowing may l?e nt
once resorted to with decided advantage.
Where the subsoil is
poorer, the plowing may still be
advantageously deepened by decrees,
say an inch at each new
Tweaking up. llut in by tar a majority
ot cases, deep plowing may
bo practiced at once?indeed it
may be the rule with safety, wtiile
shallow plowing may be the exception.
Plow, say nine, ten, eleven
or twelve inches in November.?
The subsoil turned up will grow
several stiades darker by spring.?
The frosts and atmospheric influences
of winter will mellow the
soil. The inorganic elements and
all latent fertility will be made
more active for benefitting the
crop. In spring spread the manure
and plow it in or otherwise
work it in or mingle it with the
soil to the depth, say of four
inches, or little more or less, and
you liavo the very beet attainable
conditions for realizing good crops.
Deeper plowing may thus be practiced
than would at all times be
safe or expedient, if the plowing
is delayed till spring.
Planting 8trawberrles in the Fall. |
Many persons believe that
spring is the best time to plant
strawberries ; but the Ohio Mariner
seems to be of a different opinion,
and gives the following directions
for tall planting:
44 When plants are well set in
the fall, they will fruit the next
season, as it is the tall growth of
root which supports the plant for |
the next yearV fruiting. Go into
your gArden to-day and pull up a
strawberry plant which has fruited
this season, and you will see the
old stock of roots dead and black,
and from the crown of tho root
beneath a set of new roots potting
out; these must inake a good fan
growth or you will get no considerable
crop of fruit next year ; and
transplanting now causes a less
jar in the natural condition of the
plant than if taken up at any oth
er period of the year.
Choose for planting yonng
rnnners that aro well rooted ; then
on a cloudy day proceed with
your work. Draw a line whore
you desire to plant, and mark a
place for the row ; spread out the
roots evenly on all sides : set in so
a* to bring the dirt well up to the
crown of the plant) without covering
it) and press the soil down
firmly with your hands around the
plant. If the weather should
prove dry, water thoroughly, so as
to soak the roots, as otten as the
foliage shows by its drooping appearance
that water is necessary.
41 Before the setting in of winter,
cover the entire surface of the
ground, over the plants and all,
with a litter of straw or other material.,
to keep the plants from the
changes of freezing and thawing,
to which they would be exposed if
left on the surface where the sun
and winds would have full plav
upon them. This covering should
be removed in the spring, so as to
let the plants grow up without
hindrance. The fruit buds are
i fiirmod in fhb fall n<1 if
I ...v? -?"*/ ^ w??vi ii iiivoo cii c
injured during the exigencies of
winter and early spring, tho crop
of fruit will be lust.
U Strawberries, like grapes, need
a generous, strong soil, but not decidedly
fat, and especially not recently
staunched with green or
raw manure. If manure is needed,
let it be fine, old, well-rotted
compost, and let.it be thoroughly
mixod with the soil, which soil is
best to be a deep loam, though
some varieties, as the Early Scarlot,
will flourish in sandy soils.?
A moist soil is always best for
strawberries."
The Best Depth to Sow Wheat I
In the Annual Register of Ru- ]
ral Affairs for 1869, we find a rec*
ord ot an interesting series of experiments
in wheat sowing, of
which the following are the re
suits;
Planted half An inch deep, the
plants came up in five days ; planted
one inch deep, the plants came
up in six days; planted two inches
deep, the plants came up in seven
days; planted three inches deep,
the plants catne up in eight days ;
plat.ted four inches deep, the
plants came up in ten days;
planted six inches deep, the plants
came up in twelve days.
Five weeks atterwards there
was no perceptible difference in
that planted half an inch and an
inch deep; that planted two
inches deep was not so good, so on
decreasing in quality as the depth
of planting increased. At six
inches there were but a few slen
der stalks. As the crops np
proach maturity the difference be
tween the shallow and deep planting
becomes less obvious?so that
one inch and three inch ulantinir
? o
are not greatly different in their
results, although tiie deeper planting
is a little lure in ripening, and
is hardly so productive. For this
reason wheat planted with a good
drill on well prepared and rolled
ground, where it may bo put in
vrith great evenness, ripens more
uniformly, and brings a rather
better return than wheat sown
broadcast and covered with a barrow
at different depths. For the
same reason twenty1-five per cent,
in seed is 6avcd by using the drill.
That is, a bushel and a half per
acie will answer the same purpose,
it properly drilled in, as two bushels
sown broadcast and harrowed.
In a light loose soil the depth may
l>e greater than in one more heavy
and compact. A greater depth is
required during a lime of serious
drought than when the soil has a
good supply ot moisture. As a
general average, a depth ot two
inches is enough. One inch would
be better if the soil were sufficiently
moist, but it is difficult to get a
drill so a* to deposit the seed uniformly
so shallow.
A Tale of Horror.
Last week's Saginaw Republic
s ay 8:
It has been known for some time
that a dirty, wretched old man
lived outside the city, about a mile
or so, in a filthy little cabin, en?
tircly alone, and that he wa< a hermit.
No one ever went near him,
for it was said he was a magician.
His only companion was a miseraI
hie looking dog. lie came into the
city sometimes to beg, and would
pitoonsly implore for money, stat
ing that he was starving. Some
times he would gather rags or
scrape of paper and sell them.?
Every one supposed him to he
wretchedly poor, lie had an evil
look, and mothers would remove
their children when they saw him
coming. One day last week, how1
?1 J .ft S ** - '
ever, ft cdiip, rneson or Mr. Abraham
Skinner, wont out alone to
fish in the stream, and happened
to wander on until, before lie knew
it, he came to the hovel of the old
inan. At first he was frightened,
but seeing do one around, he
plucked up courage and went
nearer. Everything was silent.?
lie went and ]>eeped through a
crack in the side of the hut. ile
almost screamed at what ho saw,
for he beheld the old man bending
over a bag 01 money that lie wa?
counting. There were other bags
beside him containing large qnau*
titiea of money. Mr. Skinner's
son was so terrified that when he
attempted to move hestnmblod.?
Like lightning the old man rushed
ont and seized him. " Ha," be
screamed,14 I've eangbi you, have
I? Yon saw me, did you f Well,
now, you'll pay for it." And before
Mr. Skinner'* son could say a
word, the old monster, with an awful
laugh, drew out a knife, and
cut the child's tongue out. Then
he chopped off bis fingers.?
" Now," he said, 44 n^w you can
go, for yon can't tell " The poor
hoy ran off, overcome with agonv,
aud ran to his father's bouse only
to fill them with consternation.?
What was the matter with their
child ? He could not speak to tell
them 1 lie could not write, for
his fingers were cut. Still the
the poor bov, after efforts of the
mont Imrri Mo naln iiioni>~?.l
t?iv I j Iianun^uu IU
fix a pencil between his bloody
stumps of fingers and wrote the
awful tale! A party was imme
diately organized and hastoned-Uo
the miser's den. lie was at the
door as they approached, and fired
a revolver six times at them,
wounding two of the party seriously.
Air. Skinner returned the
fire, and the aged villain fell, with
a piercing yell, mortally wounded,
w My money?my money 1" ho
moaned, u my beautiful money 1"
and he crawled to his bags of gold
and sank upon tbein?a corpse! ?
Over $10,000 was discovered,
which was presented to the poorhouse
and other charitable institutions.
The event will never be
forgotten by our citizens. The
child is slowly recovering. The
miser was buried the day after,
and the hut was torn down.
?
Fallixo in Love.?The Saturday
Keview says: The man who
likes chatty women finds his doom
in a girl who never opens her lips ;
the cynic who hates brend-und-butter
trembles before a miss in her
teens; tho prim young neophyte
of the parsonage worships the
horsiet of Dianas. No doubt
(linrn io n - J
? ?%/ w 10 ? utobiiuu III illl HIM IIlttU?"
iiess, and a philosopher yet to
come will rescue this bit of outlying
existence from the realm of
caprice. But, as yet, nobody has 1
brought love within the calcula
tion of chances. It is just as impossible
as it wa3 in the days ot
our forefathers to prodict whom we
shall fall in in love with. It is
still as difficult as it ever was to
decide who is likely to fall in love
with us. The only result which
comes of meditation on the subject
is a sort of conviction that under certain
perfectly inexplicable conditions
it is possiblo for anybody to
fall in K?ve with anybody else.
Good Sense.?The great trouble
among American youth is the lack
of application and thoroughness
in what they undertake. Anything
that cannot be learned with
superficial study, is given the go
by for something less tedious and
irksome. Study and hard labor
are looked at from a wrong 6tand
point; and, as a consequence, the
cloi kship ranks are full of unemployed
and half starved young
in ill, and the professions are overflowing
with mediocrity, while
good mechanics find plenry of work
at living prices. The evil spoken of
is felt seriously. Those who work
at a trade do it in so loose and
careless a manner that they are
not component to do the work they
promise to do. Among the loudest
declaimers tor the rights of la
bor, are men and women who can
claim no rights that belong to labor
well performed.
? -Tiie
groiteat natural bride in the
world is the Natural Bridge over
Cedar Creek, in Virginia. It extends
across a chasm eighty feet
in width, and two hundred and
fifty feet in depth, and at the bottom
ot which the creek flows.
The greatest mass of solid iron
in the world is the Iron Mountain of
Missouri. It is three hundred
and fifty feet high, and two miles
iti in circut.
The beat specimen of Grecian
architecture in the world is the
Girard College for Orphans, Philadelphia.
The largest aqueduct in the
world is the Orotoii Aqudnct, in
New York. Its length is forty and
'one half miles, and cost $12,500,000.
The largest deposits of anthracite
coal in the world are in Pennsylvania,
the mines of which sup
ply the market with millions ot
tons annually and appear to be
inexhaustible.
[American Engineer.
An Arkansas sheriff, who
couldn't get carpenters to build a
gallows, to exocuto a criminal,
had the check to tell the man that
if he was in a hurry to have the
how coine off, he would have to
turn in and help build it. The
man declined, and told the eheriff
not to hurry on his account. It h
believed that they will be obliged
. to ehokc him to death by hand.
?
. JSirawnmj',,,,,
m At|i ^14-aii
Ths Young Widow- 5 .
?A ,oknsu8 taker, g-ung hi*
rounds, h top pod at* 1 elegant brick
dwelling house, -the exast locality
of .which is ao business ol< ours. '
lie was received by a stiff, welldressed
lady, who could- be well
recognized as a widow of lotne
year's standing.
On learning the mission of hor
visitor, the lady invited him to
take a seat in the hall. 1J living
arranged himself in a working positon,
he inquired tor the number
of persons in the family of the
lady. :.# !
" Eight, sir," replied the lady,
" including myself."
44Vcrv well?your ngo, madam!"
"
44 My ago, 6?r," replied the lady,
with a piercing, dignified
look. "I conceive it's none of
your business what my age might
be. Von are inquisitive, sir."
u The law compels tne, madftin,
to take the age of every person in
the ward ; it is my dut)* to make
the inquiry."
j "Well, if the law compels you
to ask, I presume it compels me
to answer. I am between thirty
atid forty."
11 I presume tli*:i. means thirtvfive
?"
44 No, sir ; it means no such
thing?I atn only thirty-three
years of age."
44 Very well, madam," putting
down the figures, 44just as you
say. Now for the ages of the
children, commencing with the
youngest, if you please."
44 Josephine, my youngest, is ten
years of age.
44 Josephine?pretty name?ten."
" Minerva was twelve last
week."
" Minerva?captivating?twelve."
"Cleopatra Elvira lias just
turned fifteen."
44 Cleopatra Elvira?cliarming
?lilteen."
" My oldest and only married
daughter, sir, Anna Sophia, is a little
ov<y twenty dive."
"Twenty live, did you say ?"
41 Yes, sir. Is there anything
remarkable in her being of that
age ?"
" Well, no, I can't 6ay that
there is ; but is it not remarkable
that you should be her mother
when you were only eight years
of ago ?"
About that time the ceNsns taker
was observed running out of
the house?why wc do not know.
It was the last time he ever pressed
a lady to give her exact age.
A clergyman, who had considerable
of a farm, as was general*
ly the case in our forefathers' days
went out to see one of his laborers,
who was ploughing in the field.
unci he found him siting ujifin the ? ? ^
plough, resting iiis team.
"John," said he, "would it
not he a good plan for you to have
a stub scythe here, and be hubbing
ft few hughes while the oxen
are resting?"
John, with ft countenance which
might well have become the clergyman
himself, instantly replied :
44 Would it not bo well, sir, for
you to have a swinglingboard in
the pulpit, and when they are
singing, to swingle a little flax ?"
The reverend gentleman turned
on his heel, laughed heartily, and
said no more about hubbing
bushes.
Two Dutch fanners at Kinderhook,
whose farms were adjacent,
were out in their respective fields,
when one heard an unusually loud
hallowing in the direction ot a
gap in a high 6tone wall, and ran
with all his speed to the place, and
the following brief conversation
ensued :
11 Shon, vat ish to matter ?*'
"Veil, den," says John, "I
vas trying to climb on te top of
, dish high stone wall, and-I fell off,
and all te stone wall tumbled
down onto me and has broke one
of mine legs off and both of
mine arms, smnsho I mine rib in,
and decsc big stones are laying on
the top of mine body."
"Ish dat all I" says the other;
" vy, you hollow 60 big loud I tot
you got to toothache."
A story is told of some visitor
to a Birmingham button manufactory
hearing one of the workmen
muttering to himself as lie stamp*
cd out each button, 14 Damn the
man who shall wear this button."
The visitor ventured to expostu*
Into on this somewhat broadcast
damnation. The workman, however,
justified himself by saving
that ho knew that tbo buttons be
was making were so bad that tbo
wearer of tliein would be sure to
damn tbo maker, and so ho
thought that be bad better be be*
forehand with him, and damn the
wearer.