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[ifHElGEEENYILLE ENTERPRISE. ... . ? , ti ....... , , . , . ,| V,r 1 J ' _ Dnjoltb to Jims, Polilics, 3ntfUigntcf, nnt* lijt 3mpro?inunt of li)e Biait onir Cowtrtrg. JOHN C. & EDWAKD BAH.EY. P?(r88. , GREENVILLE. SODTH CAROLINA, NOVEMBER 9. 1870. VOLUME XYIf-r-NO. 25. G. F. TOWNE8, EDITOR. J. C. BAILEY, ASSOCIATE Hubscuiptios Two Dollar* per.annum. DwaunifSWBNT* lumrtad at the rala* of dollar per aquar* >' tw?lr? Mlnten Hum (|(Ui pised lyp?) on U*a for Mm In' insertion, fifty cent* each for the aeonnd and third loacrtioop, an 1 twenty-five eanl* for, n'ofqaenl rLBerUeiM. Yearly contract* will l>? made. , Ali fcdTorlUanianta mapt bar* the number lt.ar.tion* tnarkedon Iptn, or they will ba finvtiu'd till ordered oat, and charged for. Vnlaas ordered otherwise, Advertisement* kvlll jn variably be "displayed.", . , . Obituary notice*, and all mutter* inuring to to tb* benefit of any one, are regarded a* Advert lament*. Only a Word. * . ... a inTimw wnre, a iuirp niixi, < A parting h> angry huto, The tan that rote on a hower of bll?a, The loving look and the tendor kiss, Ilua t(t on a barren vuia, Where pilgrims tread with weary feat Paths doatlned never mora to meeet. A frivolous word, a sharp retort, A momcrt that biota out years, Two livaa aro wrecked on a a??rtny chore, Whore hillowa of passion surge and roar, To hreak in a f pray of teara; Tears ahed to tdind the cere red pair Drifting acawnrd and drowning there. A frivolous word, a sharp retort, A flurli from a passing cloud. Two hearts nre scathed to'their Inmost eore, Ate ashea and dust for everntore. Two faces turn to tba crowd, Masked by pride with a life-long lie, To hide tbo scars of the agony. _ A frivolous word, a sharp retort, Alas! that it should he so I The petulant speech, the careless tongue. Have wrought more evil, and done more wrong, llnvc brought to the world more woe, Than alt the armies age to age Record on hist'ry'a blood stained page. All ike Yemr floHttd. 4 It's no ii6e, Maria, I've tried every where." 44 But yon are not going to give up, Peter!'' * Give op? flow can I help it? vV ithin Four days I have been to every lamkbindery in the city, and not a hit of work can I get." 44 Hut have you tried anything else V% " \Vliat else can I try ?"* 44 Why, anvthing that von can do." 44 Yes, I've trie,d other thing*. I have been to more than a dozen of my friends and offered to help therii it they would hire me." 44 And what did you mean to do for them?" 441 offered to post thein ac counts, ntake out bills, or attend the counter." Mrs. Stan wood smiled as her husband thus spoke. 44 What makes you smilef" he asked. 44 To think you should have itn ngined that yon would find work in such places." Peter St an wood was 11 bookbinder bv trade, and had now been out of employment over a month. Uu was one of those who generally calculated to keep aliout square with the world, and who consider themselves particularly fornmate it they keep out of debt. lie was now thirty years ot age, and had I been married eigbt years. Ue had three children to provide tor, besides himself and wife; and this, together with house rent, was a heavy draft upon bis purse, oven when work was plenty; but now there was nothing. 44 Maria," he said, stopping and gazing at his wife in the face, 44 we must starve. I have not a single |?ennv in the world." " Bat do not d Spair, Peter.? Try again tomorrow for work.? You may find something to do.? a ? 1 ? >)ium i? ih'iic^i is Honorable. Should you niuke but a shilling a day, wo should uot starve." 4k Hut our house rent V* 44 Trust me for thst; the la dlord shall not turn us out. If you will eugsge to find some work to d<s I'll sue that we have house room,'* 44 III innko one more trial," uttered Peter, despairingly. 44 But you must go prepared to do any thing " "Am thing reasonable, Maria? any thing decent." The wife felt almost Inclined to inile, but the matter was too serious for that, and a cloud passed ...... I ? o? - < ' Mvor hit met*, one Knew iter litis* band's disposition, and tdie felt sure lie would look about for some sort of work which would not lowor liiin in the social scale, as he had otiCe or twice expressed it. How* over, she knew it would bent no tue to say anything to him now, and she let the matter pass. On the following morning the last bit of food in the house was put upon the table. Btunwood could liardly realize that he was jmnniie** ana without t?>od. Yet ftlie trui U was naked and clear ; and when Ito left the house henaid, M Something mast be done.1* # > N?? sooner hnd die linsband gone than Mrs. Stan wood put oh Iter bonnet and shawl, tier eldest child was a girl seven years old, and her youngest fonr. She ask ed her next a??or neighbor if she would take care of her, children until ,.jpwo. These children were known to be good and 'quiet, and they were taken cheerfully. Then Mia. Stnnwowd locked up the house and went away. She returned at fwxtft, bringing soine food for her children; and then tretit away . again. Site got homo in the even* | iug t?ef??re her husband, carrying a heavy basket on her arm. ** Well, Peter/' she asked, after her husband had entered and sat down, ?' what luck did you have?" " Nothing?nothing!" he groaned. *41 made out to s<pitt?e a dinner out of an old cbtni), out 1 can't find work." . . u And where hare you looked to-day f" 4* Oh, everywhere. I have been to a hundred places, hut it's the sa.ue In every place. It is nothing but one eternal 4not no' I am tii?<1 and sick of it." " Hilt what sort of work have you offered to do ?" 44 Why, f even went so far aa to offer to tend a liqnor store down town.** The wife smiled. HN'iw, what shall we do!" uttered Peter, spasmodically. " Why, we'll eat supper first, and then alk the matter over." "Supper! have yon got any !" . 44 Yos, plenty of it." j 44 Hut you told me you had none.4' *4 Neither had we this morning, but I've been after work to day, and found some." i 44 You 1 You been after work !" uttered the husband in surpriso. 44 Yes." 44 Hut howl where! what!" 44 Why, first I went to Mrs. Snow's. I knew her girl was sick, and I hoped she might have work to be d<?ne. 1 went to her and told her rny storv, and she set me to work at once doing her washing. She gave me food to hring home for the children, and naiu me threeshillings when I got through." aa aa? i a ? ? - wiihi: you navcn't t>een out working tor our butcher's wife if" said Peter, looking very much surprised. "Of course I have, and have thereby earned etottgh to keep us in food through to morrow, at any rafo; so to morrow yo'u may come lioiite to dinner." 44 Put how about rent P 44 O'i, I have seen Mr. Simpson, and ttJd him just how we are situated. and ottered him my watch us a pledge for the payment of our rent within two months, with the interest on all arrears to that date. I told him I did the business because you were away bunting for work.* 4* So he's pot your watch P 4,No; he wouldn't take it. Ue said if I would become responsible for the payment bo would let it rest." 44 Then wo have sot a roof to cover us, and food lor to morrow. But what next I Oh what a cur&s 111cMi hard times are !" " Don't despair, Peter, for we shall not starve. I've got work enough engaged to keep us alive." "Ah I What's that?" M Why, Mr. Snow has engaged me to carry small packages, baskets, bundles, dec., to rich custom era. lie has had to give up one of his horses." "What do yon mean. Maria?" "Just what I say. When Mr. Snow came home to dinner, I was there, and asked hi in it he over had light articles which he wished to send round to his customers.? Never mind, all that was said.? He did happen to want just inch work done, though he meant to call upon some of the the idlers who lounge about the maiket.? lie promised togite ine all the work he could, and I ain to be there in good season in the morn ing." " Well, tlii# is a pretty go 1 My wife turned butcher boy I You Won't do any such a thing." "And why not?" 44 Becanso ? because?" 44 Say because it will lower me in the social scale." 44 Well, and so it will." 44 Then it is more honorable to lie still and starve, and see one's c ildren starve, too, than to per* form honest wo-kt I tell yon, Peter, if you cannot work, I must. We should have been without bread to-night, had I not found lifiwlr t a. t\ Q u V All lr?.v? .11 l:?i- I WIM V* VIWJ* * V1? MHVW Pit AIIIMV of light. agreeable butineM art -zed npon by tho#e who hate particular friend# or relative* engaged iu them. At tueh a time a# i hi# it i# not for a# to eonaider what kind of work we will do, ao long a# it i# honest. Ob 1 give me the liberty of living upon my own i i \ desert*, and the independence to l?e governed by my own conviction of right," "But,,my wife,only think?von carrying out bnteher'e *tuff.? Why, 1 would sooner go and do it myself.", " If you will go," said the wife, with A smile, " I will stay at home and take eare of the Children." - It was hard for Peter 8tanwood ; but the more he thought upon the ihatter the more lie saw the jus- j tlce Snd rlfflit ?\f th? notli U m-!..?(. . ? - p - . ? V m ^'??? U f* IVH hi? wife had led him. Bcfoie he went to bed he promised that he wonld go to the butcher'? in the morning. And Peter Stan krnod went upon his new business. Mr. 8now greeted him aarmly, praised his faithful wife, and then sent him off with two baskets?one to go to Mr. 8mitk's, and one to a Mr. Dixal's. And the new carrier worked all day, and when it came night he had earned just ninety seven cents. It had been a day ol trials to him, and all his acquaintances whom he had met had greeted l.irn as usual. lie was far happier than he was when he went home the night before, tor n<>w be was independent. So the next day he earned over a dollar; and thus he continued to work a week, and at the end of that time he had five dollars and seventy-five cents in his pocket, besides having paid for all the food for his family, save somo few pieces of m&it Air. Snow had given him. One day Peter had a basket of provisions to carry to Mr. W. It was his former employer. He took the load upon Ins arin and started off, and just as he was entering the yard of the customer he met Mr. W. coming out. "Ah, Stanwood, is this yon," asked his old employer, kindly. u Yes, sir." . 44 W hat are yon doing now 1" 44 Pin a butcher's boy, sir I"? You see I've brought your provi ions fur you, sir; I'm a regular butcher's boy." 44 And how long have yon been at work thus f" 44 This is tne tenth day, sir." 4* Put don't it come hard ?" 44 Nothing comes hard so long as it is honest, and will furnish iny family with bread." 44 And how much can you make a day t" "Sometimes over a dollar, and sometimes not over fifty cents/' 44 Well, now, look here, Stan wood, there have been no less than a dozen of my old hands hanging around my counting-room for a fortnight whining for work. They are stout, able met), and yet they lie still because I have no work for them. Last Saturday I took pity on Leeds, and offered him the job to do my hand carting. I told him I would give him a dollar and a quarter a day, but he turned up his nose and asked me not to insult him; yet he owned that his family were snflering.~ But do you come to my place to morrow, and von shall have something to do, if it is only to hold t?An *** T a- ?'? Bomb lorert' qn*-rels bogin and some end with a smack. ? 1 juui uciivu up. & ih'iiw yuu iur your manly independence/* Peter grasped tlie old man's Viand's witli a joyons, grateful grip, and blessed him fervently. That night he he gave Mr. Snow notice that be most quit, and on the following morning be went to the bindery. For two days be had but little to do, but on the third day a heavy job came in, and Peter Stan wood had steady work.? lie was happy? more happy than ever, for he had learned two things: first, what a noble wife he had; and, second, how much rMOUrcxA fnr mwtd ho had in iiia own energies. Our simple pictnre has two points to its moral. One is, no man can be lowered by any kind ot honest labor. The second, while you are enjoying the fruits of the present forget not to provide for the future; for no man is so snre that the duy may come when he will need the squanderings of the past. Thk Siamese Twins.?These ell-known gentlemen are now at their homes near Mt. Airy, but are sadly afflicted. It has been known for some time that Eng had been seized with an attack of paralysis, but few knew it to have been so severe as was really the case. Both brothers have been compelled, by the affliction of one to be in bed. Eng is now able to be up, but his left hand and leg,(the side next his brother) are useless, lie goes with a crutch nnder his right arm, and his left foot is sup ported by a leather strap which hit brother holds up as he hobbles along.?Salem (If. C.)Preu. Fell Flowing. The advantages of Fall plowing are set lortb by George F. Hoi' brook, ot Vermont, as follows : Without elaborating the many strong points in favor of Fall plow* ing, a tew < f the more prominent benefit* may be briefly stated as follows: 1. August and September is a good time to torn over bound out sod land, and manure and re seed it once to grass, obtaining a crop of bay the following year. 9. October and November is an excellent time to break up sod land for planting the following Spring. 8 The weather is then cool and bracing, and the team strong rand hearty for the work, while the weather in the Spring is mor^a re?laxing and the teain less abiff; atffr Spring work being always hurrying, it saves time to dispatch as much of the plowing as possible during the previous autumn. 4. Sod land broken op early in autumn will be quite free from growing grass the following spring; tbo roots of the late overturned sward being so generally killed by the immediately sue ceeding winter that not much grass will readily 6tart in spring. 5. The frosts of winter disintegrate the plowed land, so that it readily crumbles in tine particles in spring, and a deep, mellowseed bed is easily made. The chemical changes and modifications rest Iting from atmospheric action during the winter develop latent fertility in the upturned lur rows, which, together with the mellowing influences, materially increase the crop. 0. Most kinds of insects are either wholly destroyed, or their depredations materially checked, by late fall plowing, especially the common white grub and the cutworm. 7. Corn stubble-land may be Elowed late in the fall, and thus o all ready for very early sowing in spring, thereby going far to insure a good catch of gross; the roots of the new seeding getting hold well, or beini? well estahlifth ed, before tlje droughts of buturner come on. Where the subsoil is fine grained, and unctuous and close, or where theie is a hard pan of good quality, deep plowing may l?e nt once resorted to with decided advantage. Where the subsoil is poorer, the plowing may still be advantageously deepened by decrees, say an inch at each new Tweaking up. llut in by tar a majority ot cases, deep plowing may bo practiced at once?indeed it may be the rule with safety, wtiile shallow plowing may be the exception. Plow, say nine, ten, eleven or twelve inches in November.? The subsoil turned up will grow several stiades darker by spring.? The frosts and atmospheric influences of winter will mellow the soil. The inorganic elements and all latent fertility will be made more active for benefitting the crop. In spring spread the manure and plow it in or otherwise work it in or mingle it with the soil to the depth, say of four inches, or little more or less, and you liavo the very beet attainable conditions for realizing good crops. Deeper plowing may thus be practiced than would at all times be safe or expedient, if the plowing is delayed till spring. Planting 8trawberrles in the Fall. | Many persons believe that spring is the best time to plant strawberries ; but the Ohio Mariner seems to be of a different opinion, and gives the following directions for tall planting: 44 When plants are well set in the fall, they will fruit the next season, as it is the tall growth of root which supports the plant for | the next yearV fruiting. Go into your gArden to-day and pull up a strawberry plant which has fruited this season, and you will see the old stock of roots dead and black, and from the crown of tho root beneath a set of new roots potting out; these must inake a good fan growth or you will get no considerable crop of fruit next year ; and transplanting now causes a less jar in the natural condition of the plant than if taken up at any oth er period of the year. Choose for planting yonng rnnners that aro well rooted ; then on a cloudy day proceed with your work. Draw a line whore you desire to plant, and mark a place for the row ; spread out the roots evenly on all sides : set in so a* to bring the dirt well up to the crown of the plant) without covering it) and press the soil down firmly with your hands around the plant. If the weather should prove dry, water thoroughly, so as to soak the roots, as otten as the foliage shows by its drooping appearance that water is necessary. 41 Before the setting in of winter, cover the entire surface of the ground, over the plants and all, with a litter of straw or other material., to keep the plants from the changes of freezing and thawing, to which they would be exposed if left on the surface where the sun and winds would have full plav upon them. This covering should be removed in the spring, so as to let the plants grow up without hindrance. The fruit buds are i fiirmod in fhb fall n<1 if I ...v? -?"*/ ^ w??vi ii iiivoo cii c injured during the exigencies of winter and early spring, tho crop of fruit will be lust. U Strawberries, like grapes, need a generous, strong soil, but not decidedly fat, and especially not recently staunched with green or raw manure. If manure is needed, let it be fine, old, well-rotted compost, and let.it be thoroughly mixod with the soil, which soil is best to be a deep loam, though some varieties, as the Early Scarlot, will flourish in sandy soils.? A moist soil is always best for strawberries." The Best Depth to Sow Wheat I In the Annual Register of Ru- ] ral Affairs for 1869, we find a rec* ord ot an interesting series of experiments in wheat sowing, of which the following are the re suits; Planted half An inch deep, the plants came up in five days ; planted one inch deep, the plants came up in six days; planted two inches deep, the plants came up in seven days; planted three inches deep, the plants catne up in eight days ; plat.ted four inches deep, the plants came up in ten days; planted six inches deep, the plants came up in twelve days. Five weeks atterwards there was no perceptible difference in that planted half an inch and an inch deep; that planted two inches deep was not so good, so on decreasing in quality as the depth of planting increased. At six inches there were but a few slen der stalks. As the crops np proach maturity the difference be tween the shallow and deep planting becomes less obvious?so that one inch and three inch ulantinir ? o are not greatly different in their results, although tiie deeper planting is a little lure in ripening, and is hardly so productive. For this reason wheat planted with a good drill on well prepared and rolled ground, where it may bo put in vrith great evenness, ripens more uniformly, and brings a rather better return than wheat sown broadcast and covered with a barrow at different depths. For the same reason twenty1-five per cent, in seed is 6avcd by using the drill. That is, a bushel and a half per acie will answer the same purpose, it properly drilled in, as two bushels sown broadcast and harrowed. In a light loose soil the depth may l>e greater than in one more heavy and compact. A greater depth is required during a lime of serious drought than when the soil has a good supply ot moisture. As a general average, a depth ot two inches is enough. One inch would be better if the soil were sufficiently moist, but it is difficult to get a drill so a* to deposit the seed uniformly so shallow. A Tale of Horror. Last week's Saginaw Republic s ay 8: It has been known for some time that a dirty, wretched old man lived outside the city, about a mile or so, in a filthy little cabin, en? tircly alone, and that he wa< a hermit. No one ever went near him, for it was said he was a magician. His only companion was a miseraI hie looking dog. lie came into the city sometimes to beg, and would pitoonsly implore for money, stat ing that he was starving. Some times he would gather rags or scrape of paper and sell them.? Every one supposed him to he wretchedly poor, lie had an evil look, and mothers would remove their children when they saw him coming. One day last week, how1 ?1 J .ft S ** - ' ever, ft cdiip, rneson or Mr. Abraham Skinner, wont out alone to fish in the stream, and happened to wander on until, before lie knew it, he came to the hovel of the old inan. At first he was frightened, but seeing do one around, he plucked up courage and went nearer. Everything was silent.? lie went and ]>eeped through a crack in the side of the hut. ile almost screamed at what ho saw, for he beheld the old man bending over a bag 01 money that lie wa? counting. There were other bags beside him containing large qnau* titiea of money. Mr. Skinner's son was so terrified that when he attempted to move hestnmblod.? Like lightning the old man rushed ont and seized him. " Ha," be screamed,14 I've eangbi you, have I? Yon saw me, did you f Well, now, you'll pay for it." And before Mr. Skinner'* son could say a word, the old monster, with an awful laugh, drew out a knife, and cut the child's tongue out. Then he chopped off bis fingers.? " Now," he said, 44 n^w you can go, for yon can't tell " The poor hoy ran off, overcome with agonv, aud ran to his father's bouse only to fill them with consternation.? What was the matter with their child ? He could not speak to tell them 1 lie could not write, for his fingers were cut. Still the the poor bov, after efforts of the mont Imrri Mo naln iiioni>~?.l t?iv I j Iianun^uu IU fix a pencil between his bloody stumps of fingers and wrote the awful tale! A party was imme diately organized and hastoned-Uo the miser's den. lie was at the door as they approached, and fired a revolver six times at them, wounding two of the party seriously. Air. Skinner returned the fire, and the aged villain fell, with a piercing yell, mortally wounded, w My money?my money 1" ho moaned, u my beautiful money 1" and he crawled to his bags of gold and sank upon tbein?a corpse! ? Over $10,000 was discovered, which was presented to the poorhouse and other charitable institutions. The event will never be forgotten by our citizens. The child is slowly recovering. The miser was buried the day after, and the hut was torn down. ? Fallixo in Love.?The Saturday Keview says: The man who likes chatty women finds his doom in a girl who never opens her lips ; the cynic who hates brend-und-butter trembles before a miss in her teens; tho prim young neophyte of the parsonage worships the horsiet of Dianas. No doubt (linrn io n - J ? ?%/ w 10 ? utobiiuu III illl HIM IIlttU?" iiess, and a philosopher yet to come will rescue this bit of outlying existence from the realm of caprice. But, as yet, nobody has 1 brought love within the calcula tion of chances. It is just as impossible as it wa3 in the days ot our forefathers to prodict whom we shall fall in in love with. It is still as difficult as it ever was to decide who is likely to fall in love with us. The only result which comes of meditation on the subject is a sort of conviction that under certain perfectly inexplicable conditions it is possiblo for anybody to fall in K?ve with anybody else. Good Sense.?The great trouble among American youth is the lack of application and thoroughness in what they undertake. Anything that cannot be learned with superficial study, is given the go by for something less tedious and irksome. Study and hard labor are looked at from a wrong 6tand point; and, as a consequence, the cloi kship ranks are full of unemployed and half starved young in ill, and the professions are overflowing with mediocrity, while good mechanics find plenry of work at living prices. The evil spoken of is felt seriously. Those who work at a trade do it in so loose and careless a manner that they are not component to do the work they promise to do. Among the loudest declaimers tor the rights of la bor, are men and women who can claim no rights that belong to labor well performed. ? -Tiie groiteat natural bride in the world is the Natural Bridge over Cedar Creek, in Virginia. It extends across a chasm eighty feet in width, and two hundred and fifty feet in depth, and at the bottom ot which the creek flows. The greatest mass of solid iron in the world is the Iron Mountain of Missouri. It is three hundred and fifty feet high, and two miles iti in circut. The beat specimen of Grecian architecture in the world is the Girard College for Orphans, Philadelphia. The largest aqueduct in the world is the Orotoii Aqudnct, in New York. Its length is forty and 'one half miles, and cost $12,500,000. The largest deposits of anthracite coal in the world are in Pennsylvania, the mines of which sup ply the market with millions ot tons annually and appear to be inexhaustible. [American Engineer. An Arkansas sheriff, who couldn't get carpenters to build a gallows, to exocuto a criminal, had the check to tell the man that if he was in a hurry to have the how coine off, he would have to turn in and help build it. The man declined, and told the eheriff not to hurry on his account. It h believed that they will be obliged . to ehokc him to death by hand. ? . JSirawnmj',,,,, m At|i ^14-aii Ths Young Widow- 5 . ?A ,oknsu8 taker, g-ung hi* rounds, h top pod at* 1 elegant brick dwelling house, -the exast locality of .which is ao business ol< ours. ' lie was received by a stiff, welldressed lady, who could- be well recognized as a widow of lotne year's standing. On learning the mission of hor visitor, the lady invited him to take a seat in the hall. 1J living arranged himself in a working positon, he inquired tor the number of persons in the family of the lady. :.# ! " Eight, sir," replied the lady, " including myself." 44Vcrv well?your ngo, madam!" " 44 My ago, 6?r," replied the lady, with a piercing, dignified look. "I conceive it's none of your business what my age might be. Von are inquisitive, sir." u The law compels tne, madftin, to take the age of every person in the ward ; it is my dut)* to make the inquiry." j "Well, if the law compels you to ask, I presume it compels me to answer. I am between thirty atid forty." 11 I presume tli*:i. means thirtvfive ?" 44 No, sir ; it means no such thing?I atn only thirty-three years of age." 44 Very well, madam," putting down the figures, 44just as you say. Now for the ages of the children, commencing with the youngest, if you please." 44 Josephine, my youngest, is ten years of age. 44 Josephine?pretty name?ten." " Minerva was twelve last week." " Minerva?captivating?twelve." "Cleopatra Elvira lias just turned fifteen." 44 Cleopatra Elvira?cliarming ?lilteen." " My oldest and only married daughter, sir, Anna Sophia, is a little ov<y twenty dive." "Twenty live, did you say ?" 41 Yes, sir. Is there anything remarkable in her being of that age ?" " Well, no, I can't 6ay that there is ; but is it not remarkable that you should be her mother when you were only eight years of ago ?" About that time the ceNsns taker was observed running out of the house?why wc do not know. It was the last time he ever pressed a lady to give her exact age. A clergyman, who had considerable of a farm, as was general* ly the case in our forefathers' days went out to see one of his laborers, who was ploughing in the field. unci he found him siting ujifin the ? ? ^ plough, resting iiis team. "John," said he, "would it not he a good plan for you to have a stub scythe here, and be hubbing ft few hughes while the oxen are resting?" John, with ft countenance which might well have become the clergyman himself, instantly replied : 44 Would it not bo well, sir, for you to have a swinglingboard in the pulpit, and when they are singing, to swingle a little flax ?" The reverend gentleman turned on his heel, laughed heartily, and said no more about hubbing bushes. Two Dutch fanners at Kinderhook, whose farms were adjacent, were out in their respective fields, when one heard an unusually loud hallowing in the direction ot a gap in a high 6tone wall, and ran with all his speed to the place, and the following brief conversation ensued : 11 Shon, vat ish to matter ?*' "Veil, den," says John, "I vas trying to climb on te top of , dish high stone wall, and-I fell off, and all te stone wall tumbled down onto me and has broke one of mine legs off and both of mine arms, smnsho I mine rib in, and decsc big stones are laying on the top of mine body." "Ish dat all I" says the other; " vy, you hollow 60 big loud I tot you got to toothache." A story is told of some visitor to a Birmingham button manufactory hearing one of the workmen muttering to himself as lie stamp* cd out each button, 14 Damn the man who shall wear this button." The visitor ventured to expostu* Into on this somewhat broadcast damnation. The workman, however, justified himself by saving that ho knew that tbo buttons be was making were so bad that tbo wearer of tliein would be sure to damn tbo maker, and so ho thought that be bad better be be* forehand with him, and damn the wearer.