Camden gazette and mercantile advertiser. (Camden, S.C.) 1818-1822, June 21, 1821, Image 4
POETRY.
A BSEJYCE.'-?Br cjmpbbll%
'Tis not the loss of love's assurance,
'lis not doubting what thou art,
'Tis the too, toolongj endurance -
Of absence that afflicts my h*art.
The fondest thoughts two hearts can che
rish
When each is lonely doom'd to weep,
Are fruits, on desart isles, that perish,
Or riches buried in the deep.
What, though untouch'd by jealous mad
ness,
Our bosom's fieaec may fall to wreck ;
Th* undoubting heart, that breaks with
sadness y ]
Is but more slowly doom'd to break.
Absence ! is not the soul torn by it,
From more than light, or life, or death ?
*Tis Lethe's gloom> without its quiet,
The fiain without the fieace of Death.
" So sir, you rashly vow and swear,
You'll dance with none that are not fair ;
Suppose wc women should dispense '
Our hands to none kut men of sense 1"
41 Suppose \ ^rell madam, pray what then?"
j;- tt WnjN ?lr, you'd never dance again,"
? ? - JL* ? ^ -
Miscellaneous*
[FOR THE CAMDEN GAZETTE.]
BACHELORS' CLUB NO. VI.
i> . i ' Would it were made high treason,
Most infinite high, for any man to marry*
1 mean for a man who would live hand-l
aomely
t And like a gentleman in's wits and credit. I
fci Beaumont b* Fletcher .
K The President having announced
?hat the usual routine of exercises]
Rvould not be accomplished this even
nag fa consequence of the indisposi
tioa of Mr. Caustic, Mr. Acid
said that he would call the attention
of the Club to a letter which he had
just received from an old friend of J
his, desiring admission into the as
sociated fraternity of Bachelors. ?
46 In submitting" said he " this letter
to the Club for their consideration, 1
not only feel satisfaction, bat posi-l
tive gratification, in the prospect of
making so valuable an acquisition to
the Clnb as I tliiuk Mr, Miles
JIomespun will he. He was my
college intimate^ the friend of my
earlier years, one for whom I feel
that* strong regard which is the off
spring of the intercourse of youthful
minds, possessing similar tastes, and
engaged in the same pursuits.
With ? strong sense of honor and
moral propriety, a liberal temper, a
good natural understanding, and a!
pleasing, and' unaffected humour that
occasionally breaks through the re-l
serve of his manners, Mr. Home-I
spun is an object of the highest es- 1
teem to all who, having broken I
through the barrier of excessive
bash fulness with which lie is sur-l
rounded, have penetrated his good!
qualities, and witnessed the amiable-}
hum of his character ; yet Iris unob
trusive temper, or rather retiring dif-l
{Wiener^ connected with something of
habitual melancholy, has circum
scribed the circle of those who do
know him within very narrow limits.
Possessing but few personal advan
tages, he eajly devoted hin.seli to
literature, and now, with a highly
cultivated mind, and refined taste,!
lie presents one of the strongest ex
amples of slighted merit and the re
prehensible neglccU 1 might say in
decent' mirth and ridicule* with
which the fair k.*x but too frorjuently
treat men of real worth, while they
manifest ah ill-judged preference for
those who have no higher recom
mendation than a fair exterior, a
competent shave of modest assurance,
and a plentiful lack of sense. 1 am
not one of those who are disposed to
maintain that the " throne ot folly is
the hem t of woman," \et 1 must
own that the strong influence, which
the ** pomp and circumstance" ol
coxcombical pretension appear to ex
ert over the tea*on of the sex, does
afford strong grounds for the preju
dices of rnanv, nml I f mw would
% 7
44 point a moral" from the-casc of my
H it nil Miles."
Mr. Aciil then handed the letter
to tlwi Secretary who read as follow;
Dear Friend, |
Sitting the other evening with noj
other company than Ponto, who lay
securely stretched at m} feet, I fell
into a train of thought, In which I
endeavored to mark out to myself a
course of conduct which would he
useful to mankind and honorable to
myself. I in the first place reflected]
whether I could not (according to the
opinion of some moralists,) conbine
usefulness and honor, by taking my
self to matrimony^ serving my coun
try by raising a brood of children,
w ho might replenish the array and
navy, and by possibility, honor
them ; but one material objection
started itself to this plan ; I had for
some years last past, deserted entire
ly the company of the Ladies, and
devoted myself to ray cogitations]
only, in consequence of certain hints,
from certain females pf the commu
nity, that the fashion of my phiz.]
was utterly repugnant to any thing!
like ban ton* and that an invincible
habit of sitting with my hands placed
parallel between my ?out stretched |
legs, gave me an air of mauvaisi
honte that was utterly insupportable;
therefore humbly conceiving that ray
prospects were lather scarce, of pro
curing a partner to assist me in my
philanthropic speculations, I dismis
sed the idea and betook myself to!
my budget of inventions for some
other probable plan of success.
The army suggested fcself to my
mind, %ut went off with a shivering
fit that frequently assails me at times
unseasonable, and uncomfortable.
1 lately witnessed the splendid
success of one of our legal orators in
a mast interesting case^and I arrest-]
ed an idea that had been floating in
my mind for some time of attaching
myself 4o the bar; elate with tire
thought, I immediately conjured um
a most interesting case, wlieq virtue,
suffering under the oppression of
Hl-gotten wealth, excited all my bet
ter feelings ? my mind warmed with
the flood of passion, yielded a thou
sand bitter invectives against the
wretch who could wantonly sport]
with the miseries of a fellow crea
ture?a thousand eloquent appeals to
the justice of the law ? to the sym
pathies^ thq jury. Animated by
my cogitations, I started. up, and
rhetorically stretching forth my hand!
u may it please your honor, and you
gentlemen of the jury" said 1, " may
it please your honor, and you gentle- 1
men of 'the jury"? -but alas! no
Hood of eloquence ? no touching ap*|
peal, followed this passionate ad-|
dress, but my eyes falling on my re
Heeled person in the glass over my
chimney piece, the awkward em
barrassment of its appearance, and
its ludicrous Attitude, put <t> flight I
every imtion of the possession of the
robe; I left virtue and wealth tol
battle it out as they could, and quick
ly seating myself, 1 called for the
last paper ; in- its columns 1 found
that some of iny old acquaintances
had established a Club of Bachelors ;
Idea se d with the idea and its objects,!
[ immediately determined to apply
for admission among them, you are!
aware, my dejtr Chum, that my age!
qualities me for a member, and 1
will state for your particular satisfac
tion, that 1 have in my possession]
documents which will place the mat- 1
ter beyond question, being letters]
from two ladies declining the honor
of my baud with assurances of the
highest esteem and friendship, and
of having been greatly flattered by
my proposals ? let me know, early,
the success of my application, ami
believe me truly your friend*
Miles Homespun. I
Mr. Homespun was ballotted for
aud duly elected.
L pon a motion to adjourn, Mr.l
Mm k one of the censors of the Club,
called tins attention of the members t<
a subject w Inch, in his opinion, he
said, nearly concerned the interest*
and the respectability of the society
It was one of the fundamental ob
jects of their association, that nom
should be admitted to metntarship,
of the stability and decision of whoxt
principles, doubts could possibly bt
entertained. ? Otherwise, we should
run the risk of belBg~~brougtI(into
discredit and ridicule by frequent de
sertions frefm ou r v ranks,' ant! we
would be sneeringly charged with
associating ourselves together for the
purpose of masking our chagrin for
our want of success witfa^he fair sex,
rather than because we act upon feel
ing and principle. What originated
these remarks, he observed, was a
paper which he held in his liand,
and winch came into his possession
by accident ; in short he had found
it-beiween the^ leaves of Andfereon,
(a book, which of all qtliers we
ought to discourage the reading of,)
in the study, aud What is worse in the
hand- writing of . a distinguished
member of our Club ? one, of whose
stability of principle, he had never
till then entertained a doubt, and
upon whom his hopes for the per
mancy of the institution chiefly rest
ed, he alluded to Mr. Sobeusides,
whom', of all others, he would have
least suspected of being the author
of a rhapsody of amatory verses,
lie had at first, intended to adopt
the christian rule with regard to him,
of giving hiin a private adtnoaition,
but upon further reflection, he was
satisfied that he would most faithful
ly acquit himself of his ceusorial of
fice, and at the same time present to
our wavering: members, (if any such
we have,) the strongest argument for
stedfastuess in their principles; . by
their . publicly animadverting upon
what, he feared, was an inchoate
dereliction of so distinguished a
member-? without further preface lie
would read the paper. Mr. Mute
then read in au audible tone the fol
In ancient times, so Ovid says,
Were wondrous metamorphoses ;
Men have been changed to evtery creature,
That flies, or swims, or creeps, in nature;
And I have thought, in idle hours,
Sweet Hosa, did it please the powers
To work such miracles on me
And let me chouse what I would be.
I'd be my Kosa's looking glass j
Then would my features often please,
For in soft colors painted fair v
She'd sec her Own sweet image there,
And I secure mn?ht feast. my eyes
On all the toilette mysteries,
Might s^e her bosom's gentle swell,
Without th^intervening veil i
Uncover'd,' watch her snow white neck~
Her lustrous eyes? her changing cheek,
W hen unsuspicious and alone
She puts her killing graces on.
I'd bis the sash that binds her vest
And twine me round.my Rosa's waist*
I'd be her silken shawl to deck
Her t>osom and her ivory neck,
Defend them from the vulgar sure, ?
But refct myself luxurious there.
When Mr. Mute had concluded,
? considerable sensation, was obvi
uusly excited in tl^| Club* Mr. Sob
ersides rose but was unable to pro
ceed?in a second attempt, he' re
quested the members to indulge him,
until -the next meeting, when he
would endeavor to justify himself
and iti the mean time, he earnestly
entreated them to suspend their opin
ions on the subject of Mr. Mute's
communication.
The Club then adjourned.
PEREGINE SINGLE, Secretary .
Life of Animals without Food*
Uedi, the Italian Naturalist, men
tions, that a civit cat lived ten days
without food; wild pigeons twelve
and thirteen; an antelope twenty,
and- a very large wild cat the same
length of time ; an eagle twenty
eight days, and iluffon mentions one
that lived the weeks without food ;
a badger a month, and ifeveral dogs
thirty-six days. A crocodile wilt
live two mouths without nourishment,
a scorpian three months a cameleon
eight months, and vipers ten. Vail
lant had a spider that lived ten
months, aud its strength was then
sufficient to kill another as large a*
itself when put under the receiver
'where it was kept; a toad, enclosed
I between two flower pots, lived 14
nonfhs, and others without nutri
nent or respiration in scaled boxe*
ivwl eighteen months, land tortoises
ighteeu months, a beetle three year*
and Egyptian serpents closely cork
lowing.
e<] in a h-ottle five years. The above
is undoubtedly-* fact* but natttrn lists
do relaie woirtlers in nature (which
*ome may doubt, bitch as " ajdecapi
tafed snail, which though deprived
of the organs for taking nourishment,
wtft not only live months mud years,
but will actually acqoire another head,1
that will answer every purpose that!
the one that was taken off answered."
Our author further 6a\ g, "fti water
we have seen many of the smaller
animals survive a long time without
any other support than what the sim
ple element afforded. Hydraehnce
have been kept eighteen months
without any supply of food, and
leaches, as well as a certain s|>ecies
offish above due* years/7 Still,
these instances arte not to be compare
ed with those where* the privatiou of
nourishment is absolute, because it
is difficult to ascertain whether im
perceptible animalcules might not be;
the food of such animals.
Education ? Reading.
The most advantageous part of
Education* and which lay 8 the best
and surest foundation for an acquaint
ance with the general branches of
science, Is that frf reading Well and
with facility ; this art in a little prac
tice, will giv^to the mind a know
ledge of theMfconnectinu of words,
their power, and the musical con
struttion of the tongue. The per
son who can raid, correctly *nd un
derstand four paces of comrioaitinn
A writer in a North Carolina pa
per f ?ays, " 1 have beeo for several
yearn in the practice of selecting my
seed corn in the field before gathering
my crop, from such stalks as bore
two ears, taking those of, the best
tppearance; which 1 think has beeOl
i means of improving my crop. * 1
lave also made another, experiment
,?n seed corn, which is very simple,
L broke a sufficient number of ears
of corn in two to make seed to plnn
i wo certjuu pieces of ground, boti
pieces o? the satr.e quality, and pi *
paled in the same %vav. 1 planted
cue piece with the seed from the Imr;
?end of the ear, the other from the ?
top eud ; Loth pieces hail the same
cultivation. The piece planted with
seed from the but end produced se
ven bushels per acre mote than that
planted With the (seed from the top
end.
? -c*.- <& - ?
PITY .Ml) CHARITY.
| Well may pity and charity be re
presented by two beautiful females;
'tis only that fair part of creation that
possesses these noble attributes; 'tis
they 6nly can soften the wayward dis
position, can comfort in affliction,
can make a bed of thorns seem as a
bed of roses, who only can inspire
a confidence, a hope* a life, to ac
complish any great or noble act. ?
The rewards t>f love, respect and
esteem of the virtuous female, is
what every honest man must seek for
as a happiness and bliss, and what
he will receive by a virtuous and
hoirorabta conduct and deportment.
Female^K)Wer is very great ; children
imbibe her precepts and principles,
und society is greatly influenced with
her sentiments ; let her use them for
a worthy course or conduct in man,
and if he cannot imbibe from this
celestial source a spArk of pity or of
charity, that lie nlay be induced to
res|?ect those noble qualities, which
are the best and choicest attributes of
the female heart and character.
HALF AND HALF.
Firnm the Weaichctttr, Penn . Recorder.
A gentleman at our office has told
the following anecdote which is too
good to be lost.
Some raft men, (Yankee? of course)
being obliged to return home without
selling their lumber* were but of
cash, and bad no mode of replenish
ing their whiskey rtinlet. " Let hie
have it" says one, "I will try what
# \can do." 80 putting in half a
of water, he Stepped into a
in Harrisburg and asked for
* M of . Whiskey ; Which
and poured in. ? You
and shall return
said (be store
trust y ou for a
then haveto
Mlhefel
ine&sured
said he still
right side.
of al
at hk
attack ensne
of this disci I)]
Devil had left
then appointed to
days and nights,
Worship might not
some del>at? it
Devil should
Siarry )iw<
at dhe had
h
were going
slipped from
V " . r
Flattery,
among mankind
benefit of which
what we are n
ed in w
A bad pointer wa? advised <0 turn
nhyMcittn : liow all hi* fanlifl
,re neon ; Hien tlieV