The new South. (Port Royal, S.C.) 1862-1867, March 26, 1864, Image 1
THE WW % SOUTH,
Vol. 2, No. 29. Port Royal, S. C., Saturday, March 26,1864. Whole No. 78.
^he |ietc j^oiith.
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Written for The Xtic South.
COMFORT IN CAMP.
1sy axna a. woglom.
Far, far away from the home of his youth,
A soldier was lying alone in his tent ;
Th? warm southern sun shone bright o'er his
head,?
O'er the soldier alone on his pillowless bed.
While around the sweet flowers shed their
scent.
i
His thoughts wandered off from the landscape
* around.
To hit Car north n home.and his parents so dear, i
And one other who loved him. ah! deem him not:
J
neak,
If a tear found It* way o'er that care-worn cheek,
Thateheek ao unused to a tear.
I
He thought of his Jenny,ao kind and true hearted.
How bravely she smiled, at she bade him Godspeed,
Yea I he thought of his darling, so kind and truehearted
;
And the Bible she pressed in his hand as they j
parted.
Ah! that gift had been comfort indeed.
Now ha draws from his bosom the well-tlmmb'd i
treasure,
Aa he opegs its page, these blest words met Iur
eye.
*'Fear not, I am with thee e'en unto the end."
?v ?- ft,* o/Ortipr ru ne'er want s friend
Whilst God, whilst my Father ia nigh.
Oh! dear one's at home, know I dread not death's
power,
Tlio' railed at this moment to join in the ftght,
I have one to an stain me, will never forsake,
And Jesus my Savior for Leader I take.
And my war cry is, God and the Kiglit
THE TOOTH-PICK CLUB.
In accordance witn previous nmuiKoment*
the worthy Expono, Existo, Expiro,
Ex pec to. Expnngo andExcuso, who
had contemplated in secret conncil the
illustrious name they could achieve for
thernselvs and posterity by meeting together
at stated seasons to render a just
decision on the weighty questions of the
day, made their appearauce at 2 o'clock,
Saturday afternoon on the Square in front
of the Fort Boy&l Hotel. On that day it
we-: the intention, not to enter upon any
discussion, but to simply organize themselves
Into a literaiy body, the result of
wh">se proceedings should, in the future,
* * ' v 1 _ - *?M 3
astonish and electniy uie wneie civmzeu
world.
The first of the honored patricians to
approach the selected forum was the noble
Expo io, who was speedily after joined by
hi 4 worthy followers, each extending to
the other a welcoming hand. Having
performed this eonventional token of
erecting they ail steppe 1 lwk apnc^
and formed a circle, each standing with
uncovered heads. In this attitude they
remained for several minutes, none essaying
to R|>eak, hut till looking at each
other with a fixed gaze as if to read the
: thoughts passing at that moment in their
sever.d minds. How long they would
have thus remained it is difficult to state,
but had not the noble Expono reminded
them that * time is fleeting' and tney
should without farther delay enter upon
the important duties cf the hour. It was
with great reluctance he called their attention
to the faot that but one of the
worthy assemblage could fill the office of
chief, and he hoped none would dispute
his claim to that office, as he was entitled
to it by age and experience. He was,
sorry to say that Expecto had evinced a
desire to be elected chief, and he could '
name one or two others whose thoughts
he read while they were looking at each
other, whom he suspected of coveting the
high office, hut he trusted their modesty, i
and their sacred responsibilities as mem?
- ? ' ? * ??j 1 j
bers of a distinguisnQa irarernuy wouiu
prevail upon them to lay aside all spirit
of unworthy emulation, and accede to the
established rules which govern the deliberations
of similar bodies. To trifle no
longer with time he would call upon Ex
pungo to ascertain the choice of each ,
member as to whom he would select to j
preside over him. Expnngo immediately
obeyed the mandate and acquainted the
noble Expono that in consequence of a
selfish desire, one of those present, whom !
he disliked to particularize by name, ;
stammered when he said his choice was
for the most aged and experienced of the
number; the others with one accord gave 1
their consent that Expono should occupy
the high office of chief; and the noble!
Expono expressed regret that one among
them should be found inimical to the j
general good of all; bnt he could not in j
respect to the usage of cultivated taste
accept the wand of office without the full
consent of all his followers, and as he?
j was certain fate had pointed to him as the j
| most fitting to rule, he would request the ,
: worthy members to assist him in dirin-1
ing her decree. He then asked for three !
1 pennies which he with difficulty obtained,
: as only one of the number, Existo, had,
that amount of money. He next proposed
by the simple game of " head and i
tail " to decide the choice of fate, and in
regular, rotation commencing with Ex-1
cuso and ending with Expono, each tossed
the pennies above his head, but in
i only one instance, that 'of Expono, did
I the pennies fall head up. He repeated
! the experiment twice with the same result
! which was ?o convincing to the followers
'' 1
; that without the least hesitation they
joyfully concurred in resigning all claim
of office in favor of the nohle Jixpono.
The recipient received the honor as
l one who was rightly entitled to it, but;
i did not exhibit any feeling of exultation.
' In a few sensible words he declared his
intention to discharge his duties without
#
fear or favor, which highly elated Expecto,
as he was somewhat uneasy that
the trouble he had given the chief, would
exert an unfavorable influence.
The noble Expono next invited the
worthy patricians to select a suitable
name by which the ord?r should be
known. There were doubtless a vast
number of names which would be applihut
he would succest the propriety
of adopting one that -was significant and
could be represented by a simple badge
or token.
% I
Excuso without apparently the least.
reflection proposed 44 The Six Wise Men," i
but Expungo instantly objected on the
ground that one among the order was a
fool, and was about to mention his name
when he was interrupted by the chief,
who said personalities were vsry much
out of place at this juncture. Excuso,
apologized for having introduced a name!
that did not meet the approval of the j
members, and promised not to again ap-!
ply a term to the order which he had
been persuaded it could not sustain.
This last remark was received with symp-1
toms of indignation, but fortunately Expecto
prevented the cloud trom bursting
by directing attention to a name which
he said he had arrived at, after mature
deliberation he game 44 The Shining Orb. "!
Expiro gravely objected that he could not
see it?he meant the splendor which the
4mr?iiA<l_ lie asked who in that
shabby crowd before him resembled the
great orb of day, or who did any shining
beyond his own hnmble sphere? He
dwelt at length npon the consistency to
be observed in all things, and after re- j
minding them that the name could not.
possibly survive, gave two or three hectic
coughs and said lie was too exasperated '
to continue speaking.
1
Expecto anticipated aonw one would <
oppose the name, but ha did the best he j
could and if they did not relish his taste
they could go a fishing, whereupon his
attention was directed to the noble Ex
pono, who, with his index linger to his
lips, enjoined strict silence. Thus he
stood for five minutes until he was clear i
the members had calmed their feelings;
when he remarked that Existo had whispered
a name in his ear which he believ-1
ed would be acceptable to all. The name
by which it was proposed the great and
worthy order should l*e known was. " The !
Tooth-Pick Club."
This announcement was the signal for
a suppressed effort at cheering, but the,
Chief would not; permit a loud demon
stration, because it wonld attract the
notice of people al>out the square. Kxisto
upon being asked to explain how he
happened to hit upon such an appropriate
name, replied he w* nt in for one he
kuew wonld live.
The noble llxpono now intimated it
was expedient and proper to devise some
insignia or token for the order. With
one accord they exclaimed a tooth-pick i
i? the most appropriate token and it was
?
decided on the spot that when the members
adjourned they should proceed to
Sears' and provide themselves with a
tooth-pick to he earned in the left-hand
vest pocket.
Some desultory discussion followed
with reference to the place of the next
meeting, and it was finally concluded to
appoint a committee of one to select
suitable rooms not removed too far from
the Port Royal Bar and not sufficiently
near to excite undue suspicion, and to
acquaint the members by private note of
the selection so mode.
The noble Expono at this point declared
the meeting adjourned, and immediately
after five of the nnmber were seen
following Existo in the direction of the
place where they could purchase " Toothpicks."
A marriage scene.?There occurred a
case at a manage scene, while I was at
Kohala, so provokingl v droll and amusing
that I can never narrate or call it to mind
without laughter. At the "Wednesday af
ternoon meeting, six or seven couples
presented themselves together for marriage.?Somewhat
curions to witness the
ceremony, I sat by the minister within
the desk" They stood together, opposite,
in a line: and wheh their names were
called and hands were to he locked for
responding to the marriage vow, one was
found without his mate; an<^ on the pastor's
naturally enough asking for her,
"Oh," said the sans culottes bridegroom,
with a grave drollery all the more ludicrous
for being unmcaut, ilEhookomo
ikona kupa homo ma ka. puka," is
at the door, putting on her frcsk i"?
Thus to tell of his bride befwja a whole
congregation, was more than the officiating
minister or hig friend could |_heav.
and keep their countenances. A few
moments elapsed and Mr. ixmq ana myself
exchanged knowing glances as the
inst now gownless bride came in from
her toilet by the meeting-honse door.--.
Cktfirr's Island MbrM
Raid it to his face.?Upon the trial
of a suit of divorce for driuikennes, one
of the witnesses was asked whether he
had spoken to any of the jury sinee the
suit commenced. *
"Yes, Sir; I spoke to Mr, H ,u? '
pointing to a juryman with a face as red
as a beet
" What did 3'ou w?y to him ?
Witness appeared relnctant to tell.
The attorney insisted npon an answer.
" Well," said the witness, "I told him
that he had a pretty face to Kit on a jury
to deeide whether a man was a habitual
drunkard or not!"
?Tie v. O. D?, of Fayette county, Arkansas,
one of the genuine 44 forest-born "
orators, preaching not long since on "the
glory of the saints," delivered the following
hurst of native eloquence, which
is too good to be lost: 4 Who, my brethren,
can describe the glory of a saint T
Why, nothing on earth can liken it. If
yon drill a hole through the sun and put
it on your head for a crown, and split the
moon in sunder and mit the pieces on
yonr shoulders for epanlettx?if you tear
down the starry curtain of the skies and
wrap it around yonr body for a robe, and
ride to heaven on the lightning wing* of
the tempest?this will be as nothing to
the glory of the saints!'*
?Why is John Rigger's boy larger than
his father ? Jteeanse he i*a little Rigger.