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Avoiding a Dux.?A compositor in one of the tiaily newspaper offices, though a good lellotv, like ; many ot' the Faustian professors, suffers from re- i jHsated attacks of limited finances, or revenue disproportionate to his disbursements. lie has no s objection to paying his debts, to the last penny, 1 when he has the money ; hut when he is short, he i abhors the idea ot meeting one of his creditors, ] lor he hates a dun as he does a dirty "proof.*' On J one of the last occasions ot the pressure upon i typo's monetary market, lie was descending Irom i the news room to the street, when he met a col- J lector, who asked him if James 11. Smith?giving i the printer s name?worked in that office. 1 "Why do you wish to see him / ' asked Smith. ' ? r h-iv.. .i hill against lii 111. (woducing it) for | i $20, lef t by J)r. A., who, you remember, recently < died, and his accounts have been left in my hands ' for collection-" "Jauies H. Smith, * replied the compositor, re- 1 pcating his own nainc slowly, us if it had a niys- 1 teriously familiar souud and ne were endeavoring i to recall it. ' I have heard that name before, 1 surely?James 11. Smith?James?James 11.?oh, I yes! (as if with sudden remembrance) he used to be employed here, certainly, certaiuly he did. I remember now; he worked next to iu}* case, poor ' fellow!" aud the speaker paused and looked sad. "Did anything happen to him ?" asked the ' collector. i "Yes. He died suddenly one morning,of chol. i era, after ntteuding the sick of bed a friend. * "Did he leave anything ?" asked the man of 1 bills. "O, no. The boys hsd to bury him. I gave $? ! myself to help put tho generous creature under the i sod. lie died penniless." " rV"" ?? ?>o of kooninp this bill. I "* i ik"u iuviv. .? ? x ?o , suppose ?*' i "None at a1!, says S. And as the collector departed. he continued to himself, 'T guess I've g it rid of that old bore. It wasn't, perhaps, much of a story I was telling. Probably I was only anticipating a little after all?except in the $ j contribution." Kxomxn Scholar.? ihe following is said to have passed i i a school down past: " What is the most Northern town in ihe United 1 States 1" 44 The North Pole." " Who is it inhabited by ? " ? By the Poles, sir." 44 That's l ight. Now what's the meaning of the word'stoop/ ' 44 I don't know sir. ' ? What do I do when 1 bend over, thus t '* 44 You scratch your shins, sir." ?4 What does your father do when he si.s down at the table ?' lie axes for the brandy-bottle." 441 don't mean that. Well, then, what does your mother do when she sits down to the table /" ? Ch?* hiws she will wrinir our necks it we si?ill any grease ou the floor." I ?Recently a liberal citizen of Washington gav; a sumptuous entertainment to about a hundred wounded soldiers from one or two of tho hospitals; and as the poor fellows passed along the street- in 1 a solid body, they are said to hare presented a roofct touching spectacle. On Saturday a party of thirty heroic soldieis, each one of whom had lost a leg, hobbled up to tho White House to pay their respects to the President. They were kindly received and treated, and hobbled back to their < quarters as happy as if tiiey liafl been upon a spree. The sight was oae which tho children of a future peaceful and golden age will read of a > a romantic t legend of the olden times. ?In a shop window in a rather obscure street in Gotha 0, is a playc< rd which announces, some- 1 ? ? -- */ KAmuTrna mil moiI tliaa wn.1l UngniHIIllIMlunirr, ^uunvivi ;<?U ?V ...v word3), tint "All sorts of women stays here!" Whether there is a blundering oniuiission of an ** s'' alter the word < women," or a snrpertiuous one at the close of the. next word, is a doubt which , must tend to attract one sort of customers and to J repel another. ?During the recent rebel raid into Western I Virginia one of lieu. Jenkins's men stole, a lady s hoop skirt, which so enraged the General that he ordered the fellow to wear it a whole month?so he was obliged to go with it around his neck, amid I the jeers of his comrades; and to soe him holding it up when riding his horse is said to have been I ludicrous in the extreme. 1 ?The late Stonewall Jackson at various periods of his life was afflicted with different for..,* of hypochondria. One of the mauias was to believe that everything he cat went down and lodged in his left leg! At another time he would never eat 1 except by the watch, at the precise moment; and' 1 he would take out his watch, lay it on the table, \ and eat at that moment. If the meal was behind- 1 v hand he would not eat at all. i } A Wolverine in Genteel Society.?" Were pou ever among tine ladies ?'' asked a traveller of i seven foot Wolverine. ? Yn? and flnmnicx me if I want to be so fixed igain, for there I sat with my leet straight down under my knees, head up, and hands laid close llong my legs, like a new recruit ou drill, or a iiorse on the stocks, and twist me if I didn't think L was about to be nicked. The whole company st red at me as it' I had come without an invite, and I swear, 1 thought my arms bad grown a loot longer, for I couidn t get my hands into no sort of a comfortable fix: first I tried them on my lap; there they looked like going to prayers, or as if i was tied in that way ; then 1 slung 'em down by ray side and they looked like two weights to a clock ; and then I wanted to cross my legs, and 1 tried that, but my leg stuck out like a pump-handle. Then my head stuck up through a glazed shirtcollar, like a pig in a poke; then I wauted to spit, but the fioor looked so fine that 1 would as soon have thought of spittiug on thfc window; and then, j to fix me out and out, they asked us all to sit down to dinner! ? Well, things went on smooth enough for a while, till we had got through one whet at it.? Then an imp of a nigger came to me fhst, with a waiter of little bowls lull ol sometlung, and a parcel of towels slung over his arm; so 1 clapped one of the bowls to my head, and drunk it down at a swallow. Now, sir, what do you think was in it t' " l*unch, I suppose," said the trav tflor, laughing ? or perhaps apple toddy." "bo I thought, and so would anybody as dry as ; I was, and that wanted something to wash down i - " ' - * t '? 1 1_ . J. i. cue iainiy stuns I nau ueeu laying in; um uu: 11 i was water ! Yes, you ruav laugh but it was clean I warm water J The others dipped their lingers into the bowls and wiped them on the towels as well us they could for giggling; but it was all the fault of that pampered nigger in bringing it to me first As soon as I catched his eye I gin him a wink, as much as to let him know, if ever I caught hint on my trail, I would wipe hiui down with a hickory towel." Ringing Him In.?A few weeks since a tall, awkward-looking chap, just from the green mountains of Vermont, came on board of one of the North River boats at Albany. His curiosity was amazingly excited ah once, and he commenced 'peeking" as be called it into every nook #nd corner of the boat. '1 he captain's office, the engine-room, the water-closets, the barber 8 shop, all underwent his inspection, and then he went cn * deck and stood in amazement at the lever beam the chiranevs and various " tixins," till at last he caught sight of the bell '1 his was the crowning wonder, and he viewed it trom every position, walked around it, got down on his knees and looked up into it, and exclaimed? Wall, raly, this beats the bell on our meetin' houy a darned sight.?' By this time the attention of the captain and several of the passengers were attracted to this genius. ? How much would ?OU ask to let a feller ring this bell?" * " you may ring it for a dollar, sir,'* said the captain. " Wail, it's a bargain, all fair and agreed, and no backing out." " It's a bargain, sir,'' said the captain. Our hero went deliberately and brought a scat and took hold o! the bell-rone. and havinor arranir * ?, ?r*/ o ? o ed everything to his satisfaction, commenced ringing slowly at tirst, and gradually faster and faster, till everybody on hoard thiuglit the boat on fire, and rushed on deck screaming with alarm. There stood the captain, and there stood the " monster," ringing away, first slow and then fast, iind two or three taps at a /time. The passengers I.egan to expostulate; the captain said it was a bargain. But the passengers became urgent that th? eternal clangor should be stopped. All the while thcro sat our hero undisturbed,, ringing away more ways than a cockney chimeringer ever dreamt of. At last the captain began to think it time to stop the simpleton; but his answer was: " A fair bargain and no backing oat." And he rang away for dear life. " Well," says the captain, " what will you take to stop ? " ?* Wall, cap'n' I gens I sheant lose nothing if I \ take five dollars and a free passage to New York, but not a darned cent less.' " Well, walk down to the office and get your money and passage ticket," said the captain. ?Quilp of the Boston Pott being about to leave own, remarked to his servant that he should "start br New York to-morrow, Deo nlente," (God frilling) "What route is that, sir?" enquired j he valet. " By way of Providence, of course! " eplied Quilp. I j. ft. Ixteiiestixg Cass of "Conscience."- Just eighteen year* ago, there was received at the Norwich, loud., post office a letter which had been mailed in Yetnon, conn., purporting to contain one hundred dollars. This letter was addressed To a Mrs. Walker, and was delivered by the post, master (Enoch C. Chapman) to Horace Walker, son of the lady to whoiu it was addressed ; but, on opeuiug the letter, it was lound not to contain the money. The case was not cleared np; but there was much ill-feeliug created, and ah the usual accusations of carelessness, possible dishonesty, &c., passed betweeu the parties, l ends were created which had never been settled for alt ol'this long period of eighteen years. A lew weeks since a stranger called on Mr. Enoch F. Chapman and aAked hiui il his name was Enoch Chapman, who was postmaster thcTv, about eighteen years ago. Mr. l . said it was hot him but his lather, who then held that office; whereupon the stranger stated that a brother ol his had stolen a one hundred dollar bill from a letter, 011 its way from Vemou to .Norwich. This letter, he said, was addressed to Mrs. W alker, aud also that Mr. C. was postmaster at the time, giving many other particulars. This brother had early eulisted in the army. He joined the regiment, New York State Militia, w as w ounded at toe battle of Antietam, and did not then expect to live very long, lie bad tberetore entrusted this brother with the money, and requested him to go at once to Norwich, Coun., and find the ex-poMmaster, and give hi u this $i()0 bill, which the stranger now proceeded to take frotu his pocket, requesting Mr. Chapman to go at once to Mrs. \\. and hand her tiie same, and to assure her of his (the unkuowu cnljrit's) sincere repentance, and to jvay to her also, that nothing but pecuniary inability precluded him Irom sending theinterest. Mr. C. preceded at once to the house of Mrs. W , and banded her the $i00, and took her receipt in lull for all demands, pecuniary and otherwise. The old lady now expresses herseli as perfectly satisfied, and in fact glad that she had not received the moucy before, as it would have been spent iong ago, but now, she says, it coilcs just in way, * ^ --t-? ? *4 ..** n.Mftk ALIAM ? ait. ana mm SUV VvJUOiuuia 11 ?u Iimtu kicw , The stranger would answer no questions as to his nauic or residence, and be lelt town on the very instant of his obtaining the promise from the young Mr. C. that his brother's request should bo strictly complied with.-? U. 8. Mail. GENERAL ORDERS, NO. 49. Hcadqu.ibtebh Dkpabi'hknt or the south, > iiiiton Hwwt, Port Royal, S. C., June 15th, 1863. / J. Section 2, of General Order No. 48, current serie.t, from these Headquarters, is modifl d to read as follows: Also, ? all enlisted men recommended fox discharge on certificate of disab lity,'' If, in the opiuion of the Board, the officer or soldier is unfit for active field service, on account of wounds or disease contracted in the line of duty, and is Jit for garrison duty, they will certify to these facts, and transmit such certificate to the Commanding Officer of the Regiment, who will prepare rolls, in accordance with General Orders No. lOo, current series, from the War Department, and transmit the same, through the regular channels, to the Provost Marshal General ol the United States. II. Pursuant to instructions from the Surg. General's Office, the Medical Director, Department of the South has convened an Examining Board, at Beaufort, S 0., before which will be brought any person, soldier or otherwise, who may apply for a position as Medical Officer in the negro liegiment, organized, or to bj organized, in this Department. Applications for examination before the Board will be made in writing, or in person, to Surg. C. H. Crane, Medical Director, Department of the OUIKU, niavu iicau, u. v. Q A. GJLLMORE, B'ig.-Gen'l. Comm Hiding. A DV ERTISEM ENTS." JC. JCNE8 St CO., have removed from the under Pout Office, to store of Cahill & Co., No. 6, Sutler's Row, with iiu entire bow stock of OFFICER'S MILITARY CLOTHING, ETC., consisting of Coata. Pant", Tests, Hats, Swords, Shoulder Straps, Sashes, Belts, Spurs, Bugles, Wreaths, Oold Cord and Lace, Shirts, Drawers, Gloves, Hosiery, Xc. Hilton Head, June 6, 1808. IJIHE GEN. MC'OLELLAN HEADQUARTERS.? vn .1 East Houston St lone door East of Broadway) N. Y? (ABOVE THE 8T. NICHOLAS HOTEL.) ITraA/juarlcrt in -Veto York, of the officer* of HUlr/n Hen/1. Ale. Wines, Brandies, Whisky, and Cegars, of the ohol. ccat character. The current armr intelligence, Ac. Near all the places of public amusement, and the most popular place in the city of MILITARY RESORT. COL. JAB. L. FRASEIt, kktc 47th Regt; May 16. *03.?tf. Manager.