The Lancaster news. (Lancaster, S.C.) 1905-current, August 28, 1907, Page 3, Image 3

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Racy Reply to "Want Ad." Young Man of Varied Accomplishments?Can do Anything from Keeping Books to Clipping Dogs' Ears. August*! Chronicle: A well known 8<endgrapher\senl tiie following reply 10 this advertisement : WANTED?A yoiin^nmn foroflice. Must be an experienc< d stenographer and typewriter and able to correspond in English and German. Halary to start per week. Address 11. O. G 711, The Ledger. ' Bird Center, August 3, 1904. ?11.0. G. 711, The Ledger.? Dear Sir: 1 beg to offer myself as nn applicant for the position advertised this morning. 1 am a young man, 37 years of age, have had '23 years business ex perie ce, being connected with the U. S. Embassy nT Madagascar and feel confident if you will give nie a trial I .'.an prove my worth to you. I am not only an expert bookkeeper, proficient stenographer, and typewriter, excellent telegrapher and erudite college gradua'e, but hive several other accomplishments vs hich may make me desirable. I am an experienced snow shoveller, a first class peanut roaster, have some knowledge of removing superfluous hair and clipping nnnnv does' pars and Imvo n ? r r .* l ~ - v/ i? medal for reciting "Curlew Shall Not Ring Tonight;" am a skillful chiropodist and a practical farmer, can cook, take cate of horses, ctease trousers, open oys4 1 * _ i ll ? lers ana repair umoreuas, ana am . also the Champion Ping Tobacco Chewer of the state, my spitting record being 38 feet. "Being possessed of great physical beauty, I would not only be useful but would be orna mental as well, lending to the sacred precincts of your office that delightful charm that a Satsuma vase or a stuffed billy goat would. My whiskers being quite extensive and luxuriant, my face could be used for a penwiper and feather du9ter. "I can lurnish high recommendations from Chauncy De pew, Jacob J. Coxey, Kaiser Wilhelm der Grosse, Captain Clark, the Prime Minister of Dahomey and the Ahkoon og Swat. "As to salary, I would feel that 1 was robbing tho widowed and swiping spongo cako from the orphaned 11 i were to taue advantage of your munificence by accepting the fabulous rum of $3 per week and would be entirely willing to give my service for less and, by accepting the sum of $1.30 per week would give you an opporfunify of not only increasing your donation to your church, paying your butcher ami keeping your lite insured, but also to found a home for indigent flypaper salesmen and endow a tree bed in the Oat's Home. Really, old man, your unheard of bounty borders on the supernatural, ami to the unsophisticated must appear like reckless extravagance. "Can call any night after 00 o'cIock, or can be aeon Sunday morning in the loftol the church, Broad hnd Dock street-!, where I am employed as First Assistant Organ Blower and Understudy to the Janitor. "Respectfully yours, 'k(SigueU) Socrates McGee." I ?M?t?M?nillM Ulllillf Ml r??? ,ANCASTK!I NK A' v AUGUST 28 1 >07. jSPS si ft Is llfftftitsa iiivyiu ;t " ' ? ^ ' V U :? * "" IIIIII wlieu the examination was made i>V Dr. Robert. S. Young and Coroner George Richmond. It ibelieved by a great many that Martin was murdered for his money, and the pistol placed in his left hand to make it appear that the man committed suicide. Don't ftCO<?pt a cough cure that yon timy be told is just as good as Kennedy's Laxative Cough Syrup because it isn't just as ^ood? there is quite a difference. Kennedy's Laxative Cough Syrup acts gently upon the bowels and clears the whole system of coughs and oolds. It prompty relieves inHnnnuution of the throat and allays irritation .itold by Crawford Bros. Former Lancastrian Bitten by Snake in Rock Hill. Mr A. J. Ballard was bitten on both feel by a Highland Mocc>sin snake Friday morning. Immediately after he was bitten his leel bp.gan to swell and he became quite tick. Dr. T. A. Crawford was fcumm nod and did all that could be done to counteract the effec's of the poi-on and it is hoped that Mr. Ballard will not suffer any serious results from the bite. Mr. 1 I Ballard, VNh'ise home was do si roved by fire a lew weeks ago, sleeps at night in a small house on his premises in order to look after his chickens, tru<'k, patches, 1 etc. lie got up etrly Friday i 1 morning and want lo the well to : draw some water, lie was hire- 1 tooted and stepped on the snake J1 which bit him in one or t*o places on both feet. 8 >mo who I1 saw the snake, which was a small one, pronounced it a young ! rattler, but I>r. Urawford says it was a copperhead or moccasin. Those who havo stomach trouble, no i ?tb4r how slight, should give every possible help to the digestive organs so that the food may be dig. st?'(l with least effort This | I may he tlouo by taking something that contains natural dig*stive properties s lmctliing like Kodol for indigestion and dyspepsia, Kodol is a preparation of vegetable acids and contains the very same juices tound in a healthy stomach It digests what yon eat. Sold by Crawford Bros. 'Sf'irt". v "PI***"* < . bium . n -g-v-.-- 'n>?rwt": TH K L Horrible Crime in ConcordDead Body of Merchant Found with Throat Cut. Concord special in the C?liarlofte Observer: A ghastly e>ijrbt wib found this rooming a' 10:30 o'clock bv Alary StalVor I, a 12-vear old negro girl, when she slum! led over the dead body o! Manama Mar in, a well known business man of the western part of the city. His throat was cat and lour bullet wounds were in his head. A pistol holding one cartridge vith four emptv ch ?ni hers was found lying loosely in the left hand. He was lying on his back, his feet crossed with his right hand, on his right breast. Martin lelt his store Tuesday evening about S o'clock, stating 1 o a son that he would be back in a few minutes, but did not return. Believing that something had happeudd to their lather, his live sons began a search lor him this morning, in connection with the police authorities, The body was found about 500 yards below the Southern depot on the east side of the railroad, within less than 300 lee! ol a brick kiln at Brown's brick vard. Mr. Martin lel't his place of business with $400 on bis person, "more than $100 being in gold coin. A small pocket knife, a b ?x of morphine tablets and 70 cents in mnnnv aara /*?* UUb flBOiUU White Lawn Waist for 90 cents, Ladies White Lawn Shirt Waist, beautiful styles in long or short sleeves, good quality sheer white Lawn and trimmed with insertion and val lace, the best ?1.25 waist sold: Special price 90 cents Ladies' White Linonette Wash Walking Skirts, These Skirts are made of white linen finish linonette, are easily washed, several new styles in pleated and tucked effects; prices, 95 cents, $1.35, $1.63 and Si 95Specials in White GoodsWash Chiffons, 48 inches wide, beautiful sheer quality and sells for 50 cents, special for this sale 35 cents the yard. Fine Persian Lawn, 45 inches wide, 25 cts. quality, 20 cts. yu. Fine check: Dimities worth 15 cents, in short lengths 10 to 20 yards: your choice in the lot 10 cents the yard. \ Good white lawn 30 inches wide, 5 cents the yard. 35 cts fine lingerie at 25 cts. White lingerie, 38 inches wide, special price for 10 days, 25 cts. yard. White dress linen for ladies suits, all pure linen, 36 inches wide, worth 35 cts, quick sale price, 25 cts the yard. Palm leaf Fan free to each customer. Peoples Sup LANCA! Unusual Affair?Revenue Of- Fatal Fight ficers and Possemen Fire Into Each Other. Greensboro special in Cl:ar lotie Observer : Two raiding p;r- ^?Pe? *n i if ?n llenrv Whec ties composed of revenue officers mil possemen, neither knowing H '''.) ''is b the other nnrty was composed of f'liampion. their friends, met while se-irching ( ^ ' H fl for an illicit distill-ry near Chap- | 'l< A Hill at 2 o'clock 'his morning ?r'" h n and as a re-mi* o1 their mistake engaged in a miniature bat'le, in Killed t which tour were scri>u-ly injured ?two probably fatally. The Timmonsvi two who are in the mo^t serious Stale: Lighti condition are Deputy Marshal kill-d Doluml -Ionian and Pusseman Hanks. man, who i Deputy Gollector Hendricks who p ?rch of his I wns in charge oi one party, was oear tiere. shut in ilie hip. He was brought] ? here this evening. The name ! ^ep tho >'oreH 11 when jon haven* of the other man was not obtain I l>eWittm'arboli* I otraten tho por?-? ed. by Crawford llroi IT.--'/ !T- . tu -x.t . . 3 C1AU White Lingerie Parasols at Half Price. All our White Lingerie Parasols, embroideried. trimmed. bamboo handles; special prices, 75 cents, $1.2 and $1.50. Figured Lawns, Dimities and Organdies for Hot Days. New assortment of summer lawns and Organdies, 12 1-2 cts quality at 8 1-2 cts the yard. 1 lot lawns, light and dark colors, worth 10 cents; your choice in the lot 5 and 7 cts yd. Belts. - j] Tan and brown belts to match your traveling suit, twenty-five, thirty-five and fiftv cents. + J Embroideried wash belts, 10 cts. A pretty assortment of gold Swastika waist pins. Swastika l'earl Belt Buckles. A new line of back combs, ten, fifteen, twenty-five and fifty cents. Try the new Haiflight crown and side puffs. The latest effect in hair dressing. This artistic effect obtained in a minute, price fifty cents. ? Men's negligee shirts in good styles and pattems, slightly damaged, worth fifty cents; your choice in the lot twentyfive cents. One job lot of men's pants, worth from two dollars to two fifty; special for this sale, seventy-five cents to one dollar and a Ljuai icr. >ply Company 3TER, S. C. I t of Brothers-in- Veteran Kills Veteran. Law. Victoria, Mo., special in the . 25 ?Near Spiinp Nows and Courier : al> alterI couu.y, yesterday ca''"" ye8te',d?y ?> ? A- U less was shot lo " V"'8 " ?8"?"lted Capt. rother in-law, nam PaUo"' his old friend ..~rl ?. . A_ _ 1 ? At the same time """ """B' *"? an ? mortally wound, mwknt nod Uyonnt. Oapt. P*t. t was the reBult ot ten died in a few minutes. and nth are while. tho oth*'r w? arrested, charaed with murder. 1 he two old men . . quarrelled about the holding of *y lghtning. t|J0 rtll,iUai picnic of the post. jThe man who committed the lie special in The a~ , , . n . ' aflHaii't is 6 ? years old and Patling this afternoon . t., 11 * ton was 61 years old. jus Wood* a negro -i tillg oti the I'll slop your pain irco To show you l(,use 111 the Country ''rs: before you s; end I1 penny?wliat my I'ink J'rt ii 'l.ibk'ts > m do. I will until jnn free, a Trial Package of them?Dr. .sboop's Headache Tahlcts. Nenralgia, Headache, * ? ? Toothache, Period pains, etc., are duo open and the skin e'ean hlood congestion. Dr. >hoop's Head nt.lmrii, hruise or scratch. ache tablets simply kill pain by coaxing eil Witch Hazel Salve pen- away tlio unnatural blood pressnre That and heals quickly. .Sold wall. Address Dr. shoop, Wi*. Sold by ?. J. F. MftckeyCo. J