Historical Newspapers of South Carolina

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Sam Jones in Charlotte. Sample of the Kind of Stuff He Handed Out to the Tar Heels this Week, under the Auspices of the Charlotte Chautauqua. Ex'raets Ironi Charlotte Ob r\ ? t r <j V ..1.1;., Btjrvor Vyn|M. x. O. riau&iiu 'introduced" Sam Jones. Sam, with a hall tired, completely droll manner came to tho loo'lights and looked meditatively over the house. 'We will now," he said, "have a selection from my wife's lirst husband* (Laughter.) 1 am like Pat, 1 hope I'll never live to s:e my wile married again." Lie told the story of a devil who married a woman and lived with her 20 years, they working together and accumulating pro porty. Then she (lies, and before 12 months that devil begins to notife. He gets him a rubbertired buggy and fine horse, and and rides that woman all about. Pretty soon the old house is roll ed back and a new house built, and then there's a wedding.? There are two servants, where there wasn't any betore. Sam said that, if they ever heard of his doing that way they might break his neck. Continuing : <;I always did think a woman ought to make her children respect her first husband. Of course I don't care what she does with the other devil.'' "I am goin' to talk tonight on 'Comin' Some.' 1 never tried it before, but I thought I'd try it here. This audience will do to practice on. Ttiat's why I like to come to Oharlotte;J it don't strain me to talk to you or listen to you I always go away from here perlectly rested." He discussed tho chautauqua movement, saying that the name means a sack tied in the middle. He repeated tho definition several times. "I just say this for your intormation," he explained, with line irrelevancy. "The chautauqua is a compromise be f.WAOIl llin nlit VlullmJiul meeting and the county fair.? There ain't enough religion left for a campmeeting, and the people are tired of the old cow and the punkin." Apropos ol the scarcity ol religion he said that the preachers are not to hlame ; t hey do the best they can with i the material they have to work on. "You teed yonr preacher on I wheat straw the year round, and tap him up, and expect him to I make it in 2 :4't. Our good brother last night gave you some straight goods about the ciga-! rettes. lie didn't talk about! them as I would, but he showed he would it he could." A mother once asked Sam what to do about lu'r son's smoking cigar j etts. "How old is he Sam I inquired SSix,'' she said? 'Take liim out iit the hack yard! and wring his neck Snni com ' mamied. 'There ain't a church in this town that hasn't got th?*m lousy ; devils, the nu mbers of that club, in it. I wouldn't let my cairiace driver drive tip to that club, and lie's a n.-gei, and a full-blooded integer. I'd rather have my son in the penitentiary than in that c'ub. And yon claming to be the chillnn of God and on your way home! 4 "But I don't want to make you club fellers mad, tor 1 ain't a go'u' to fight you. I'm about you like the feller who started off to commit suicide and a mad bull made at him and he ran from the mad bull. A looker on asked him, 'Why did you run f/otn the bull, if you wanted to (lie.'" 'But;' he says, *1 reckon I've got my choice as to how I'm goin' to die'" "Now I know some of you don't like Sam Jones'R style," he admitted, "but I do, and who's running' this tiling?you or me?" He said he would talk straight at them it they rode him out of town of a rail, aud if they did so, he would say to them, "Gentlemen, I'd as soon walk but for the honor of the thing." He has been criticised for preaching out of the Bible. "But you fellers are out of the Bible yourselye5, and I mu4 go out of it to hit yon fellers." If anybody is not. t-aushed with Sam he will reply as the negro Baptist preacher did to the Methodist niggers, who were looking on at his baptizing. lie said, Breddern, 'tnersion is the only Bible way to baptize." "llow does you know da'?" said the Methodist niggers. "Dat ain't none er yo' business," retorted the preacher. He touched on politics, saying that "Roosevelt is the best, truest, bravest President this country has had from Washington down, and I've been around some, too. I've been around more than you and all your people back to Adam." But Roosevelt nor any other candidate for the Presidency, except the Prohibitionist, will light liquor. ''But I'll light that whiskey gang. I'll hit 'em as long as I've got arms, kick 'em as long as I've got feef,bite 'em as long as I've got teeth, and then gum 'em !" The humorist then took a whirl at the Apostles' ('reed, saying mat tne apostles had been in heaven three centuries before the creed was draughted. lint yon say, 'We thought the apostles got that thing up.' Your ignorance is the most charming thing about you." He recurred then to politics, declaring, "I think the devil will git every Democrat and every Republican in the Cnited States, hut, thank God, he won't git much.''Continuing on poli tics ; "They're doin' their best to gif Teddy to run. Then Bryan will run He loves to run. He don't care whether lie is elected or not, just so he gits to run. There never was a dog loved to run a rabbit better than Bryan loves to run I or i reHKieili not i like Hryan on account of his character. Hryan is as good :i man as I am." 'Nobody can rid*' inc. When a man puts his foot in my stir | 'up, next thing he knows, after the dust settles, I will i> Blamlin' j at vh* liough, eatud with one of I his galluses around 1113* hind le/ " ll( was about to get through now Ho confided that ho had) spoken longer than 11 11'. I' routed him, yon know, to -p. ak to such a simple crowd. He said the lousv c'ub devils would 70 Ironi the hou*e, hanging their heads and saying, "I'm a fool. 1 set there and laughed at that raskel. Do you know why I made you laugh' For the same reason that the to: ow gave the sick dog chloroform: so he could keep him still while he took his medicine." He paid an extensive tribute to himself, saying that lie has preached more sermon* and to more people than any other man, dead or alive, in the world's history. All the preachers here, lie snirl will xilmil fli.if t li? do vril is in this town, but no two of them can agree a* to how to git him out. The Methodist preacher will say ''Let's ride him out on a rail." The Presbyterian: "Breth. ren, let's do all things with de eency and in order;" the Baptists: "Let's take him to the river and drown him;" and the Episcopalians : "Gentlemen, if you run the devil out of this town my members will be so lonesome I can't do a thing." He happened to think of a pug-dog woman. "When the lord gives a man a good wile and 15 or 20 chillun, he blesses that man ; but when the devil gives a man a woman and a poodle dog, he just throws ofl on him I don't like the poodle-dog woman nohow. No woman w ho kisses a poodle dog can kiss 8am Jones. I'm not much on kissin' women, nohow. If I had a poodle dog woman for a wile and she took that poodle out driving and wouldn't take me, 1 would go back home and ask about my wife, and say, 4 Where is it ?' " He made a fine pass at the Mormons, and erupted some eloquent "partin' words'' The Double Wedding of the Two Daughters of Dr. Bays. News and Courier 7th inst: One of the most interesting social events of the season was the double wedding of the two',daughters of l)r. Hays, which was solemnized at the Bethel M. E. Church last evening at 8 ,'H) o'clock. The ceremony was performed by the father of the two brides and it was one of the most beautiful ever witnessed in that sanctuary. The principals in the marriages were* Miss May Herbert Hays, of Charleston, and Mr Hercival Clark Blackmail, of Charleston, and Miss Lucy Alber ta Hays, of Charleston, to Mr. Theodore Albertus Moore, of Kock Hill. Immediately after the ceremony a reception was tendered at the hospitable home of Dr. Hays, on Calhoun street, and the two bridal parties left the city at 11 o,clock for extended trips to the North and West. Mrs. W. (J. Stevens, of Rock Hili, sister of the brides, was dame of honor for M?iss Lucy Hays, and Mrs. Jamen0McCabe, of Greenville. sister of Mr. Black man. wns dame ofjhonor for Miss H<?r- I bert Rays. Little Miss Virginia! Ilerbprt .Wilson, niece of thej brides, wasjthe ring and flower ! girl. When 'the attendants bad taken theirjplaees, the brides pro I need ed up the middle isle, Miss Herbert Hays on the arm of her b: ?ther in-law, Mr W. R. Wilson, dr., of Uoek Hill, and Miss Lucy Ravs on the arm of I)r. W. (J. I l Stevens, of Rock Elill, another brother in-law. The grooms came up the side isle, Mr. Blackman with his best man, Dr. George McF. Mood, of Charleston, and Mr. Moore with his best man, Mr Morris F Cobb, of Rock Hill. The dames of honor, Mrs. W. G. Ste veil?, of Rock Hill, dame for Miss Lucy Bays, and Mrs. James MeCabe of Greenville, dame for'Miss Herbert Bays, and the maids of honor, Miss Aannaoelle Coney, of St. George, maid for Miss Lucy Bays, and Miss Addys Hays, maid for Miss Herbert Bays, all came up the middle isle aud took their places. The ceremony was ^performed by Dr. Bays in a simple and impressive manner and in a short time the vows were taken which bound these young people's lives together forever. Army Worm in York Coun ty. Yorkville Enquirer : Mr. Georgel S. Williams advised the reporter tins morning that the army worm has made its appearance in large numbers in the Filbert neighborhood. He saw it on the lands of J. A. Walker, colored, and was advised that it wait also to be seen on the lands of Messrs. D. M. Hall and Felix Qninn. The worm is about an inch long, marked with stripes and looks like a caterpillar. There are myraids of them, and they are cleaning the ground of grass until it looks as if nothing had ever grown there. Mr. W illiams doesn't think that any of the growing crops are in danger. Dog Ordinance. Whereas, There are supposed to be several dogs in the Town of Lancaster affected with rabies. Now be it ordained by the Town Council of Lancaster in council assembled and by the authority of same: 1. That it shall be unlawful for dogs to run at large within the corporate limits of the Town of Lancaster for the next hixty Days; and all persons having dogs are required to keep them on their premises for said period of Sixty Days. *2. That any dog found off the premises of the owner after this date is hereby declared to be a public nuisance, and a menace to the life of the citizens of said town, and shall be killed by any policeman or other officer of said town. 3. That any person whose dog shall be found running at large shall be liable to a line of not less than Five nor more than Twenty Dollars, or by imprisonment for not less than Five nor more than Twenty Days. Ratified this *25th August, 11)06, Attested by R. K. WYLIB, A.J.CLARK, Mayor. [L.S.J Clerk Protein. LANCASTER & CHESTER RAILWAY COm PAN Y SCIIKDULK IN EFFECT MAY H, I90A DAILY EXCEPT SUNUA" Eastern Time. WESTBOUND Lv Lancaster A 15 a m 3 15 p n Lv Port Lawn A 3l a m 3 ib p n Lv llusc-oiii vtlle A 41 a in 4 00 p n Lv IticlihurK 6 nil u m 4 lb p v Ar Chester 7 lb a in a 4b p n Ar Charlotte?Sou. Ity... 9 55 a m 7oil p n Ar Columbia?Sou ICv 1000 a in 105 pm EASTUOUND Lv Colombia -Sou. Ity A ob a in 3 10 p n harlotte?Sou, ity 5 15am A U0 p ir Lv Chester 9 00 a m 8 15 p nr Lv ltlchlturK 0 40 a in 8 39 p a Lv llimrom villn V 50 a in H 45 p d Lv l-'ort L;i"n 10 OA a m 8 56 p it A' Lancaster 10 AO a in 0 15 p n CONNECTIONS OH ESTER?Southern, Seaboard, and Caro Una Sl North-Western Hallways. LANCASTER?-Southern Railway. A. 1 MccU'.tE. Super.mention*. STATE OF SOUTH CAROLINA, COUNTY OF I.ANC ASTKit, In the Probate Court, By J. E StewimiD, Esquire, 1'rohute JudffO Wherens, J. P. ALLLSON, of LnncaKter Co , said State, has made suit to mo to t<rarit him Letl"rs <>f Administration r.f It,. .1 1 ..u- .,11' ?' to: .... defeased. THESE A HE, TllEHEFOlih, to cit?> tin) admonish all and singular the kindred Hit11 creditors of the said K. E ALLISON, ( deceased, that tiny he ami appear before me, iu the Court of J'robate, to he held at Eaiioastor Court House, on the 18th day of Kept, next, after publicstion hereof, at 11 o'clock in the forenoon, to show cause, if any they have, why the said Administration should not he grunted. (tivun under my hand, this it It day of Kept ., Anno Domini, 1U( <1. 1. E. S1EWMAN, Probate -Judge. Sept. f, 1906 I tfij5-3 1 Orangeburg Collegiate Institute will begin its fall session on Wednesday Sept. lkth. We have a healthful location, are well equipped, and have a first class facirty. Departments of art, music, elorut ion. cooking, sewing, etc. Only a few tno:e hoys and girls can be ac.coinmodaled. Send at once for a catalogue and application blank. \V s PETKKSON, Pres., Orangeburg, S. C. Livery, Livery, I ! f Livery i ^ Though doing a rattling good 4 livery business, we are deter- ' mined to do even better. Our gresent stocks of Vehicles and [orses are being supplemented by handsome new carriages and buggies and stylish Driving and Saddle Horses. Our livery establishment is going to be second to none in the State, and don't you forget it! Come or send to us when you want the best, up-to-date livery service. HEATH-ELLIOTOULE CO. Professional Cards Dr. J. E. WELSH. DENTIST. Office over Williams?Hughes Cq's Store, formerly occupied by I)r. LI. M. Galloway. LANCASTER, S. 0. Dr. R. G. ELLIOTT, ^ Lancaster, S. C. Residence 'phone, No. 187. Office, Davis Building, cor. Main and Dunlap streets; 'phone No. 72. Will practice in both town and county. All calls, day or night, will receive prompt attention. Dr. E. J. Hinson DENTIST Office in Springs Building. Office Hours : 8 to 12 and 1 to 6. Sunday Hours, 9 to 10. Ask Central for No. 32. An Organ that will last a life time is what you want. Our Organs have a pure tone and lovely cases. We can supply you with an Organ that will please in every particular for only $115 and $70, delivered. Write us for our special terms of payment, and for illustrations of our beautiful organs. If you prefer a Piano we have beautiful and good new Upright* from #185 up on easy terms. Address, MALONE'S MUSIC HOUSE. Columbia. S. 6. Claremont College % HICKORY, N. C. The '26th session begins ?>n Sept. 18. Thorough college course by able faculty Two scholarships to be given in each department to deserving girls, in Library Course, Piano, Voice, Violin, Drawing, Painting, Elocution, Physical Cult lire, Stenography, Typewriting ami Bookkeeping. Public | school drawing in normal course. Fur catalogue apply to i I) W. KK A I). Pres't., V IIIckory, N. C. Notice. The noxt rrunliw teachers examination will be held at Lancaster 0. II, Ix giuniug at 9 o'clock a. in. Friday, September 21st, 19U?. W. M. MOOKE, County Hupt. Education. Sept. 1, Tho KpU/Q ')oeM IVintiltg ; 1110 lieVIA3 for others. Why .can't we do yours? ??????