A TIIE. SEN1IN'E..L JURNAL
Entered April 28, 1908 at Pickens,S-. 0;, as sebond olase matter under act of Cougress of March 8, 1879.
VOL. XXXVIII Pll13i, sOU! CAMLINA, THURIDAT FEDRURY 271908
Ain't Th
Two of the Con
Baby
..... . ' . ..
THESE ARE BRIGHT FACI
Two Cures For the BlueA.
-What do you do whien you have the'
blues?" aisked the first womanu. I
-I walk up FIfth avenue and look In'
aill the Jewelers' windows and at the
orchids anid high priced hats. What/flo
you do?"
".I go wvay down to Rtivington street
and look at the wretched poor women
with seventeen children struggling In
the dirt That mnakes meo thankful mny
affairs are no worse." -Now York
Proms.
Its Worth.
The actress, having been arrested for
running her automobile seventy mile
an hour, was describing th'o superb ear
to Cu reporter.
The young main Iuquired:
"dow much did you say it wts
worth?"
"At least t o colunns on the front
page." hhe answered absaently.-Kan
es City Independent.
SShut Her Off.
First Deaf Mute (making signs)
Did your wife compldion because yo
.ayed out till after midnight? Second
Deaf Mlte (chuckltg)-Did she? You
ishould hve -eenoc her! But when it
1>egan to get monotonous I just turned
.out the itght.
Two Questions.
tWhy don't we see men like the nov
alluts describe?"
"I give It tup. ly don't we see
-girl. lihe the iusarta btor-a?
.Kiv SheCuteronl.
Teirsthe dtwebaing ioal.
'Frdd? yoredde-ofte cobeas beds
iss.d u tl T acherRightigNow, Secoy,
Dyee do e obtacing)fenthe? myou
'From heaher bed, heri Btshe.i
legu to Reeaonoonu. uttre
ouety tior lghvt. eth'
"hmy ontve been like e inte
liftr tecrfew?" gte h e
"I'ge igp hyest ' Appauee
*graisle thanelluhestratore that ne
<eptousvl Curitste-Jostrnatuathn
Fnth ollwe thhhes a.ase
'Emern. r o eoban ol
ExediencFed.dltern etacol bsufer
mis eherIh dowabu Jimry
thi here st do weoti etmake J iving
.atro -oetme r anote," m ss. tee
che"eked M, whenck' alsot b"ou.
'h idarick whenr saddync. GIan me
lry for giestome dahi.'" ny
"Hn' ;mtay haebe ut ie minhtesn
heq thoe curfe. rang th gt bin
SfinallyChibcaus ieco-keegalit
on tante ight Aausie.tg
rseangnel.le heinetha t ac
ey Cue.
testants in our
Show.
.i - . ......
......................j
ED YOUNG AMERICANS,
The End Came Another Way.
A distinguished actor was one tim,
engaged at one of our leading provin
clal theaters In a drama In which h,
attempts an escape from a convict prif
on, first by getting rid of his fetters b,
means of a file and lastly by gettin
over the prison wall. In the act o
doing this he is shot at by a warde:
and killed.
One particular night the drama ha(
run its usual course up to the poini
where the actor attempts the escap<
over the prison wall. The warder. at
usual, presented his rifle, but instead
of a loud report nothing but a fainl
clicking sound was heard. The rifl
was lowered and after a brief delay
again pointed, but with the same dis
appointing result.
The audience now began to hiss and
jeer. The disgusted actor then got oil
the prison wall and, staggering toward
the footlights, exclaimed. "It's all up
I've swallowed the file!" and fell pront
on the stage amid the laughter and ap
plause of the audience. - Pearson'V
Weekly.
Mountains Had Not Moved.
The story is told that when Judge
William Rogers was chairman of the
school committee in a New England
town one examination day he went
around questioning puls)1 of the mid
die grade. He asked a boy named
Rock where the Rocky mountains were.
The boy answered correctly, but faifed
to be promoted that term.
The following year the judge asked
the same question, Rlock replied, "The
same place they were last year."
Wholesome Fear.
Miss H., the principal of a granmmar
school, was Investigating a case brought
her by a pupil.
"Are you quite sur-e that was the(
wvay it happened, Mrs. P. ?"
"Miss H.. that was just the way,
I'm telling you the truth. I wouldn
r~are tell you a lie. I'm not well enougi
today."-Woman's Home Comipan ion.
University 'rests.
One might say that the first test ni
Oxford is athletic ability, the next so
eiability and the final scholastic abil
ity. When you have pas~d the firsi
two, yon are the admiration of youi
friends; when you have shown your
self a scholar besides, you are the ad
miration of your college. - Rhode.
Scholar in Sunset Magazine.
Disproved.
She-They say that a man becomeel
like that with which he continually as
sociates, Hie-Ridiculous ideal I've
been a fishmonger all my life and ca'1
swim a yard yet!-London Opinion,
A patch on the trousers is not as bad
as a 17tain on the soul. - R~ichmond
3Cvening Journal.
Short-There goes one of my pre
ferred creditors. Long-Why pre
terred? Short-lie never asks me for
Pnahay.--Oicnen News.
MacheliO"Sal Skin.
"This skin,'? daid the furrier, "
froin a young setil bachelor, a y
Ignorant of love and of life."
"IHow do you know-?" the lady ai
'By its fineness. Its perfection,
replied. "The pile, you will not
like close .cut.: velvet. Only bael
seal skins hafe stich a pile.
"The bachelor seal," he wqnt
"has a rather and life. The big
seals in thb seal islands have en
household of. fifteen or twenty w
but the young bachelors must
by themselves. Let one of the
tempt to marry and strilghtway a
slays him. Not till he Is big end
to fight and conquer a bull-not ti
Is fourteen or fifteen years old-ca
know the delight of settling down
home of his own.
"Ile leads a hard, ascetic, celibate
only in the end as like as not to 1
a lady a very fine coat. All the
fine coats, I repeat, are made froi
unhappy bachelor seals."-Cincil
Enquirer.
Jack Tar and the Actor.
A famous Irish actor of the e
eenth century named John M<
early In life, before he went on
stage. had been to Jamaiea and n
ed his passage home as at sailor b(
the mast. One night some time
he had been engaged at Drury I
when he was acting Stephano in *
Tempest" a sailor in the front ro,
the pit got up and, standing upon
sent. hallooed out, "What cheer,.
Moody-what cheer, nessmate?"
This unexpected address rather
tonishod the :-.dienve. Moody, I
ever, stepped forward and, recognI
the man, called out: "Tom Ilu
keep your jawking tacks aboard. I
disturb the crew and passengers. V
6.age door, and we'll flnIsh the evs
over a jug of punch. But till
3 Tom. keep your locker shut." Mi
it is related, was as good as his 3
-Cornhill Magazine.
Exohanging Amcnities.
A blatant sample of the loud v<
self conscious. look-at-me varlot
r man took his scat in a bus and c
to the conductor:
"Does this bus go all the way?"
"Yes, sir." responded the condi
politely.
"Does it go as far as Oxford :ti
I want to get out there."
"Yes, sir," was the reply.
"Well, I wan} you to tell me i
we get there. You'd better stic
stamp on your nose or put a stra
your mouth or tie a knot In on
your lips. so that you won't forgol
"It would not be convenient for
in my position to do so," said the
ductor courteously. "but If you
kindly pin your ears round your
I think I shall remember to tell yol
London Scraps.
The Sins of Hatters.
If any tradesman has a lot to ani
for it is surely the hatter. le
most unblushingly tell you that a
tailn type of hat is suited to your
ticular style of beauty. knowing
the Information is false, and all
while you have a dull suspicion
you don't look well In it. Yet you
obliged to believe him. Hlis persuf
powers are so cultivated that I ff
belIeve ho would make a dwarf t
Ihimself "a fine figure of a mal
Fry's Magazine.
May Do it Now.
"In the olden timres it is said th
was possible for a man to render
self invisible."
"Pshawl That's not at all remil
ble. Men in this country are doli
every day."
"You don't say sol Hlow do
manage It'?"
"By marrying famous women'"
How it Was Becoming.
"That dress IA becoming, my de
said the man who thinks he is a d
mat.
She looked at hIm coldly for a
ment and then replied:
"Yes. It is b~ecomning threadbare
Brutally Frank
Scribbles-When I take a dislike
man I- use him as the villainous<
acter in one of my novels. Critk
Ah, I see! You punish the poor fe
by burying him alive, as it were.
Why They Fly.
Bobby-Mamma, do the streeti
heaven flowv with milk and ho
It Mamma-So the Bible says, dlear.
by-And Is tli.at why the angels
wings, 'cause the walkin's so badi
Obedience is better than sacurid
Shakespeare.
On* of Three Things.
Mame Fred Jones, a man of no small di
outh inensions, was a popular conductor on
the Boston and Maine railroad, making
iked. daily trips between Boston and Plym
he outh. One lay several years ago while
0, ts collecting fCres~ he encountered a man
ielor under tie:tnhunce of liquor who
would not show a ticket. After reason
on, ing 'in vain with this passenger Mr.
bull Jones said. "Now, see bore, you'll
h a have to do one of three things-give
ives, me a ticket, pay your fare or get offt
herd a'nd walk."
at- "You've (hie) got to do one of three
bull thin'gs." was the reply-"eat less (hie), e
>ugh hoop yerself (hic) or bust."
|| he
n he His Nerve.
in a Speaking of a Wall street operator, a a
broker said: "The man's nerve is amaz- h
life, Ing. It shocks me. It reminds me of a
lake money lender to whom a friend of
rery mine, a great rider to hounds, once re
the sorted.
natIl "'Yes,' said the money lender to my t
embarrassed friend. '1 will renew your
note, but only on one condition, sir
namely, that during the next paper
Ight- chase at Lenox you scatter from your
)ody bag these 5.000 pink slips bearing ily
the name and the words, "Money advanced
ork- on easy terms." Is it a go, sir?'" C
fore '
f ter The Alternative.
an1e A Frenchman applied to a local ot1- 1
'Tho cial for a passport to visit Klatter- P
v of wingschen, in Switzerland. The func- e
the tionary. who was not a fellow of any 8
Jack geographical society, studied in vain a
with the spelling of the plac6's name.
as- Then. unwilling to confess his diflicul- 0
low- ty. he blandly asked, "Would you a t'
zing lief visit some other town?',
ilett. I
)on't Hopeful Gleam. T
nlhen Mrs. Becky-Dear, oh. dear, my ctd ad
gett...; worse and worse! I'm getting
ning so I can't talk. I wonder what I'd
then, better do? Mr. Becky (absently)-For
>ody, goodness' sake, don't do anything!
vord. Cleveland L.'e-r.
Some men dress quietly and other.
lose-their collar buttons.-Dallas News.
11ced,
of , Roithdity of Earth.
alled We are assured by competent anu
thority that Thales of 1liletns taught
that the earth was of a globular form t
ictor so early ts 40 11. C. Pythagoras dem- C
| onstrated from the -arying altitudes r
-eet? of the stars that the earth must be I
round. Aristarchus of Samos main
tMined that the earth turned on its
rhen own axis and revolved about the sun.
k a whieh doctrine wais held by his con- 11
in temporaries as so absurd and revolting h1
of that tle philiosopher nearly lost his life, e
it." 1. C. 280. The wisdom of the an- h
clents wias, of course, lost sight of in h
c the darkness of the "niddle ages," and
con- it took GaIlilei and Copernicus to re
wil store the old knowledge to the world.
ec New York American.
Murder in Germany.
Germany distinguishes between two
kinds of murder-one, premeditated
ier and intentional, is punishable by death;
will the second. Intentional homicide with
cer- out deliberation. Is punishable by penal t
par- servitude for from five to fifteen years. t
that Dueling In Germany is a misdemeano
the of a special kind. Who kills his oppo
that nent in a du1el is not charged with
are murder or ninslaughter, but with
silvo dueling, the punishment for which is
!mIy detention In a fortress for fifteen years.
hink -London Chronicle. 1
Ruffled His Feathers.
piece)-Now, my boy-, that is a pIcture,
at it if you liko-real andi~ natural. What do
blm- you thin1k of it? Friend-Capital! CII- ap
ital! So lfelke! Such light and
rka- shade! I don't think I ever saw a het
ig it ter picture uf a battlefield. Artist
Great Paul Rllens! Thait's niot a1 bat- y
they tielleid-thiat' ii basket of fruit!-L~on
don Standard.
- i
Reduction. bi
The old nag was jogging up the 11111 J
a"with tihe elopers-.
1910- "Yes," said tile old nag, "it is rather tl
tough pulling them up to the parson- n
0-age, but it will be easier coming back." o
"Ihow so?" queried the friendly goose o
at tihe roadside.0
"Why, can't you see that after heav
ing the parsonage two will be0 made
to a one?"-Chicago News. d
har- I
us-- The Editor Regrets- c
how Offlee Boy-The editor says lhe's much a
obliged to you for allowing him to see 1
your dlrawings, but muchl regrets lhe is 14
funable to use0 them. Fair Artist (eager- t
i o y)-Dild lhe say that? Office Boy t<
ney? (truthfully)-Weil. not exactly. He just u
Dob- said: "Take 'em away. P'imple. They b'
tiave make me sick."--London Tatler.
"Once I wrote my name on an egg."
"Did you get a letter, Muaude?" "Yes; y
ce.- two years iter fr'om an actor."--Louis- It
v'ille Couriier-Jour'nal.j
1~moku ~
RESTAURANT TIPS.
'he Much Vexed Question From the
Walter's Point of View.
"I know by the way you nod your
end you think it's pretty hard on the
ublic. Suppose every waiter here got
regular salary, with no chance for
tras. Do you supposp he'd be jump
ig hurdles for a lot offuss people,
11 kicking about better thing 'pats
iey get at home? Do you think A
resent the glad smile to those he't
ke to choke, break his neck making
verybody comfortable and then llstem
) their hard luck stories or more pain
il jokes? No, sir; he'd serve the stuir
ist as he got it from the kitchen. le
'ouldn't go back and fight for tidbits,
tid extra hot food. Ile'd be in not
urry to serve any one and pile up
'ork for himself. The customer would
aft because the waiter wouldn't, and
robably he'd never come back, and
at's where the owner would lose."
"It must take great ingenuity to
make the system pay," I mused.
"It does," saidJoseph. "The stupid
,aiter starves. Do you know that in
rder to hold good waiters the cheap
ash slinging joints have to pay high
r wages than the swell restaurants?
'here's not the opportunity for tips
i the cheap places, and the waiter
inst follow opportunity like a bird of
rey. Ile simply has to be clever
nough to get tips, and he has no social
tandiug to make him bashful. There
re two methods-oie is to get then
pontaneously, the other to force them
uit. Most people tip only because
tmy're ashamed not to. I make out
etter with the first method, especially
i a place like this, where most of our
atrons are regulars. It isn't the reg
ilar who does the comaplaining. He
.nows and saves the exertion.
"With strangers it's a gamble. It
nay be a little party, and the things
hey order gladden your heart with an
lcipatlon. You try to be a gentleman
xith the service, and then at the finish
rou get nothIng-pr nymavbe a
Vou can't complain; you'd be discharg
?d. But there are ways. You can't
)lame a waiter who is bunkoed if ho
idministers a rebuke in a dignified
vay. such as, 'Ah, sir, you've forgot
en a (lime of your change,' or lie dam
all his helper and without a word
o!nt to the coin for hin to remove."
obert Sloss in Harper's Weekly.
Persevere.
I have often heard 1eople in mature
ro isy. "i I had only kept on as i
ad biegun. if I had only persisted lin
arrylig out my ambition, I might
ave amounted to something and been
itinitely happler."
Miulittudes of people have led mis
rable lives of regret, wIth thw arted
mittions constantly torturing them,
Imply because In a moment of weak
ess and dIscouragement they turned
uick. If there is any time a persom
eedis nerve, grit and stamimna it 13
-len tempted to turn back. when tho
,)Waird voice within says: "Don't you
oe hov roolish it is for you to try
) (10 this thing? You have not the
loans or the strength. Ilow foollshl
' -crlilee Years of comfort and pleas
., at home among the people who
>ve you for the sake of doing what
am have undertaken! It is better
turn back--and acknowledge your
mistake thamn to go on and sacrifice so
mech." Whatev'er you do or how'
envy the burden, do not lay it dowmn
such a time. No muautter how dark
te way eor how heavy the heart, Wvalt
uitli the "blue" depression or the die
uragement has passed before taking
nmy dc~led step.-Success Magazine.
Customs of the Street.
In crowded city streets, especially in
ondon and Paris, wvhen a driver Is
aled by another driver ahead of hina
e throws up his hand or his whip per
endicularly as a warning to the maz
aick of him. Thus warned, the next
river checks his team and then holds
Is hand or his whip as a warning to
e man back of him. Thtus there
might b)e seen going up one after an
ther in a line stretching back hands
r whips to the number of half a dozenb
r more as the drivers were successive
rhalted or slowed down by the block.
do in front. So of drivers of horse
rawn vehicles whose drivers common
r sit high where their hands or whipus
aun be seen above their heads. This
ignaling is done somewhat differently
y the drivers of automobiles, wvho sit
>w. So in such circumstances what
be~ automobile driver does to signal
3 the man hack of him that he is hek?
p Is to stretch his armi out outside of
Is vehicle horizontally to the right.
Vasingt~ton Post.
"So yom. thmink: you could buy me and;
oli moy' "Well, I don't know aboti
bie hittLr mpart of the proposition."u
.outai11i r-anea,.J,...... '