Historical Newspapers of South Carolina

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VIEWPOINTS TH#%fAMECOCK EDITORIAL BOARD Editor STEVEN VAN HAREN News Editor JUSTIN CHAPURA Assistant News Editor JACKIE ALEXANDER The Mix Editor ALEXIS ARNONE Design Director chas McCarthy Sports Editor STEPHEN FASTENAU Viewpoints Editor BRINOY McNAIR Assistant Viewpoints Editor AARON BRAZIER IN OUR OPINION Spring ball organizers need marketing lesson The Residence Hall Association probably bit off more than it could chew when, in January, the senate allocated $10,000 to stage a spring charity ball — an admirable, ambitious project that’s turned into an underwhelming washout. With a little less than two weeks before the event, only about 100 people are paying $20 each to lace up their dancing shoes, and targeted charities Camp Hope and Camp Sertoma will be on the short end of what could have been a huge donation. RHA is facing a harsh lesson in how to market an event — and, on a larger RHA is facing a how to marEet harsh lesson in Lots of people enjoy , . . . getting dressed up for how to market an % n,ght of dancing and event and how to tropical punch and getting to attend the market itself. equivalent of a college prom for a good cause sounds like a gala many students would enjoy. But without a proper promotional campaign, any USC related event is DOA, and leaving students in the dark about the event’s music, alcohol policy and dress code is the wrong wav to create buzz. Name recognition is a powerful promotional tool, and “RHA” is not synonymous with “premier party planner.” Mid-level events such as mixers or barbecues would help RHA build a name for itself outside dorms before tackling another monstrous event. Visibility is one thing; harming the group’s reputation for organizing special functions is another. Who knows — with careful planning and some possible outside help from Student Government or Carolina Productions, RHA’s charity ball could become the next red-hot USC shindig. RHA’s glass slipper might not fit perfectly this year, but we hope more students get tickets to the April 7 ball. One hundred percent of proceeds go to charity, and every dollar will help. Let’s hope RHA’s higher-ups can turn the ball into the Cinderella story it deserves to be. IT’S YOUR RIGHT Voice your opinion on message boards at unmv.dailygamecock.com or send letters to the editor at gamecockopinions@gumi.sc. edu CORRECTIONS The article “Spring break surprise?” in Friday’s issue was written by Ashleigh Orthen. The Gamecock regrets this error. If you see an error in today’s paper, we want to know about it. E-mail us at eamecockoninions@swm.sc.edu ABOUT THE GAMECOCK Editor STEVEN VAN HAREN Design Director chas McCarthy Copy Desk Chief AARON KIDD News Editor JUSTIN CHAPURA Assistant News Editor JACKIE ALEXANDER Viewpoints Editor BRINDY McNAIR Assistant Viewpoints Editor AARON BRAZIER The Mix Editor ALEXIS ARNONE Assistant Mix Editor KRISTEN TRUESOALE Sports Editor STEPHEN FASTENAU Assistant Sports Editor ALEX RILEY Photo Editor NICK ESARES Assistant Photo Editor KATY BLALOCK Public Relations Director ROSE GREENE Page Designers MIKE CONWAY, KATE FENWICK, MEGAN SINCLAIR StaJfWriters A.J BEMBRY, TOM BENNING, JESS DAVIS, TIM McMANUS, MARJORIE RIDDLE, GINA VASSELLI Copy Editors CAROLINE DESANCTIS, BETHANY NICHOLS, ELIZABETH PARHAM, KATIE THOMPSON, JAMISON TINSLEY, KRYSTAL * WEBBER, LIZ WHITE CONTACT INFORMATION Offices located on the thirdfloor of the Russell Home Editor’s office hours are from 2-3 p.m. on Tuesdays and Thursdays Editor: gamecockeditor@gum.sc.edu News: gamecocknews@gum.sc.edu Viewpoints: gamecockopinions@gwm. sc. edu The Mix: gamecockfratures@gum.sc.edu Sports: gamecocksports@gum.sc.edu Public Affairs: gamecockPR@yahoo.com Online: www.dailygamecock.com Newsroom: 777-7726 ; Sports: 777-7182 Editor’s Office: 777-3914 Fax: 777-6482 STUDENT MEDIA Director SCOn LINOENBERG Faculty Adviser ERIK COLLINS Creative Director SUSAN KING Business Manager CAROLYN GRIFFIN Advertising Manager SARAH SCARBOROUGH Classifieds Manager SHERRY F. HOLMES Production Manager c. neil scon Advertising APRYL ALEXANDER, KATIE CUPPIA, BREANNA EVANS, MARY RACHEL FREEMAN, DEIDRE MERRICK, McKENZIE WELSH THE GAMECOCK is the editorially independent student newspaper of the University of South Carolina. It is published Monday, Wednesday and Friday during the fall and spring semesters and nine times during the summer with the exception of university holidays and exam periods. Opinions expressed in THE GAMECOCK are those of the editors or author and not those of the University of South Carolina. The Board of Student Publications and Communications is the publisher o/THE GAMECOCK. The Department of Student Media is the newspaper's parent organization. THE GAMECOCK is supported in part by student-activity fees. One free copy per reader. Additional copies may be purchasedfor $1 each from the Department of Student Media. Justin Chapura /THE GAMECOCK Primates could tame world peace pressures Adorable orangutans answer international tranquility questions The world is a very political place these days. Things are uncertain to say the least. People in our country are increasingly polarized, and the world community seems more disjointed than ever. But I do believe there is still hope. Although I generally consider myself to be exemplary in my modesty, I’m willing to shove all that aside for the sake of the common good. What I am trying to say is I have the key to worldwide peace, that’s all. It might not be through the most insightful, politically intricate or articulate means, but I know in my heart of hearts it will work. The answer, though I’m sure there will be naysaying: monkeys. This primate-based system would start simply, with each world leader getting a monkey. I personally recommend a Capuchin, based on intelligence and adorability factors, but that’s only a suggestion. I see the first wave of causal effects to ripple through autocratic leaders. Honestly, how can you brutalize your population under the FIELD constant CflDTEV saze ofy°ur ti,- j monkey lhira-year . J political companion? science That leads to student the second requirement: the monkeys must wear clothing. Whether it’s a fez with an accordion or a tiny tuxedo, maximum adorability must be obtained. The next step would be requiring leaders to communicate through their animal.companions at any rnnfprpnppc nr rrofVip»rincrc O LP they attend. This would of course trickle down to the United Nations, allowing that they would construct a cargo net just above the heads of the delegates so that the monkeys would not actually interrupt any important business, simply to deliver correspondence. Everyone knows that the level of time spent in politics only increases one’s intellect and sophistication. So over time these screeching political liaisons would learn their human counterparts’ signatures and would gain clearance to sign off on lesser agreements between nations and agencies. Here’s where the ball really starts rolling. It’s a widely known fact that monkeys, barring baboons, are creatures of peace. Once these monkeys are enabled to act in the political spectrum, things will truly improve. War, famine and poverty will all become matters of the past. I also predict a substantial international increase in hammocks and hammock related activities. now aia i reacn tnese conclusions? It all began with a phenomenon that’s been Whiplash the Cowboy Monkey. This 18-year-old monkey has been one of the largest rodeo attractions in the nation during the last few years. Frankly, if Whiplash can put on full cowboy attire, saddle up on his border collie and hog-tie sheep night after night, surely a monkey can broker international peace accords. Even granting the possibility of some slight modifications, this is the model through which I believe world peace can be obtained and maintained. Well, this or a nuclear winter. Violence validates our vendetta, generation War insures history is interesting for future television audiences It is commonly known that the United States houses and cherishes a vast array of kick-ass weaponry. The most highly kick-ass of this equipment is tragically considered classified. This leaves the impatient lad no choice but to immediately submit his entire person — especially the rectal area — to the service of the U.S. armed forces. By these means he can expedite his personal involvement and enrichment through use of the most kick-ass of all toys. Concordantly, there is also a need for a proper venue for their use. And thus you have modern American foreign policy. The question of incessant American military deployment overseas is far less a matter of politics than it is a matter of economics. On browsing through the gamut of channels ____ offered on the USC cable system, it struck me that you will find 80-plus BRHflDQn channels that millCR are vaguely Third-year organized English according student to content. You have the international channels, local broadcast channels, news channels, late night televangelist channels, sports section and a selection of educational channels as well. The latter section is comprised of some health-related channels and a few channels exclusively dedicated to war — the History channel, the Military channel, the Military History channel. The point is people are interested in wars. Violence is exciting. And it sells. You may call yourself the most brazen pacifist, but you’re lying if you say explosions aren’t awesome. We have more advanced weaponry than ever before. What injustice would we be doing future generations if we didn’t afford them the chance to see it in action on the History channel 30 years from now? While they car pool in their electric hot rods and watch “Survivor 2036: Outwit Outlast Out-crochet,” they could get distracted by endless clips of America flexing its military prowess. Our times may be remembered as barbaric, but at least they will be remembered for being action-packed — a time when men were men and reeked of testosterone, drove big trucks and fattened themselves on the flesh of animals. “Ah, those were the good times,” we’ll say as we recline and watch our grandkids chase each other with sticks. Will we let them down? I for one will not hear of it. Give them something to watch on the Military History Channel. It’s for posterity, man. Online Are you planning y. | j on attending the RHA charity ball? Flip-flops keep feet relaxed\ tickled with cozy comfort Popular Rainbow shoes prove expensive, easy cure for walking woes I did something that I swore I would never ever do. I spent $50 on a pair of flip-flops. Yes, a pair of Rainbows. MI always thought $50 was way too much to spend on a pair of flip-flops, UAlEflE especially 5|(|)5 when you Third-year can get them print 3 t W a 1 - journalism Mart for $5. student Unfortunately, I have been persuaded. It all began when I wore my Target flip-flops around campus. It felt like I was walking barefoot, but they are the only flip-flops I have that match almost everything. There had to be another flip-flop option. I’d heard people raving about their Rainbows and how comfortable they are. I had to think, do I really want to spend that much money? But can you put a price on being comfortable? Flip-flops are practically my uniform, so if I’m going iu ut wwaiuig uiv,iu single day, they need to be good. They really do work well with almost any outfit. So, I sucked it up, went down to Five Points and bought a pair of Rainbows. The first day I wore them they gave me terrible blisters. I was mildly upset with the general public for lying to me about how great these shoes were. But, I talked to a few friends and they told me that you have to wear them in. So, I gave them another chance. They’re okay, I guess. I still hate to admit I own them. The moral of this story? When you are in college you are going to do a lot of walking. Walking from Capstone to the Coliseum can make this campus seem gigantic. A good pair of shoes is vital. By wearing a bad pair of shoes, you are sacrificing your feet and back. One day in a pair of flimsy shoes can equal a week’s worth of pain. Don’t risk it. Wear rrimfinrtaHlp clinpc I’m not advocating buying Rainbows, but buy whatever shoes you are comfortable in. Don’t be afraid to spend the extra dollar if the shoes are the barrier between you and comfort. Or, you could just skip out of the shoes and hire a really great masseuse. Wearing comfortable shoes could make you happier. By wearing comfortable shoes, you get to class faster than the person with uncomfortable shoes. That means, you get the recommendations and the jobs first. Comfortable shoes are the way to go, and that’s the way I’m going from now on. Submission policy Letters to the editor should be less than 300 words and include name, phone number, professional title or year and major, if a student. E-mail letters to gamecockopinions@gwm. sc.edu. Letters will be edited. Anonymous letters will not be published. Call the newsroom at 777-7726 for more information.