Historical Newspapers of South Carolina

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mouiE • connnuED Ffiom 5 hire Jello as their wedding planner. Grant chooses his supposedly foxy best friend and ex-girlfriend Andy to be his best “man.” Andy plots to break up Julia and Grant so she can have fym for herself. Julia takes Grant home to meet her parents. Grant then takes Julia and her parents home to meet his parents. And finally, Andy kisses Grant while Julia watches, and Julia breaks up with him. The destined couple has to determine if their relationship can overcome the chick flick’s usual sordid ways so they can live happily ever after. The movie’s ending is supposed to be cliched. Audiences will sigh with relief that this revolting movie is finally over, even though it’s only 80 minutes. “Date Movie” had potential to attract what it claims are “people who love date movies and people who hate them,” but it will most likely only attract teenage boys with disgusting senses of humor. While it pokes fun at “Napoleon Dynamite,” “Bridget Jones’s Diary,” “Miss Congeniality,” “The Bachelor,” “Meet the Parents,” “Meet the Fockers,” “Hitch,” “My Big Fat Greek Wedding,” “My Best Friend’s Wedding,” “The Wedding Planner” and “Sleepless in Seattle,” “Date Movie” really isn’t that funny. Its use of one liners from all of the “date” films produces laughter, but its incorporation of potty humor and severe absurdity will quickly stifle said laughs. The mismatched and eccentric casting provides the funniest aspect of the movie. Julia is white, her dad is black, her mom is Indian and her sister is Asian. And yet, they’re Greek. Grant’s parents are American, yet he has a British accent. Andy, the supposed babe, is pretty, but her tan appears orange and her hair is neon blonde, making her look fake and overdone^ When Julia is having liposuction during • her transformation, a mayonnaise-labeled vat is shown as the extracted fat. The image alone creates a sudden urge to vomit. And it’s shown several times when once was more than enough. Potty humor may attract some viewers, but individuals who don’t find a farting cat hilarious after a few seconds might be slightly turned off. - Jello’s oversized bum — obviously meant to ridicule Jennifer Lopez — will crack up viewers repeatedly. The remaining genuinely humorous scenes from “Date Movie” appear in the film’s trailers, and unfortunately for audiences, there aren’t that many. Perhaps if there had been more of a cohesive story that didn’t strictly try to rip off and mock other girly movies, then there might have been more comedy to “Date Movie.” But without any originality or new presentation of the same tired comedic jabs, “Date Movie” will provide no real bang for your buck. Steer clear of “Date Movie” unless you want your date to throw up on you. Comments on this story? E-mail gamecockfeatures@givm. sc. edu ASTRAL • COflTinUED FROdl 5 McDonald said that successful improvisation sessions come from a small riff or sequence that the rest of the band complements with his own instrument. The band hopes to make each live performance unique for the audience. “Pretty much every show has its defining points,” McDonald said. “I would tell someone to expect a lot of energy in unique ways.” McElwee remembers i one of his favorite performances. “We just decided right before the show that we were going to play the whole time without stopping and flow from one song to the other through improv and jams,” he said. “It was such a visceral experience. It was like everyone who was there really got it. Everyone began to sit down during the show on cushions and blankets and really soak the show in.” The band hopes that Saturday’s show will be just as moving. Astral Projection will open for Phish cover band Phix at Headliners. Doors open at 9 p.m., and advance tickets are $10; $12 at the door. For more information on Astral Projection, visit http://www.myspace. com/astralprojection or send them an e-mail at astralprojectionband@ yahoo.com. Comments on this story? E-mail gamecockfeatures@gwm.sc. edu Gamecocks ^^g^Connection! Your source for Gamecocks news alerts right on your wireless phone! Get up-to-the-minute news about the Gamecocks, from the Gamecocks, on your wireless phone. Log on to www.vtext.com and select "Coaches Corner!" m Subject to Customer Agreement and Catling Plan. $35 activation fee may apply. $175 early termination fee applies. Requires credit approval. Subject to taxes, charges and other restrictions. See verizonwireless.com/bestnetwork for network claim details. Digital phone required. Verizon Wireless post pay customers charged 20 per message received and 100 per message sent. Verizon Wireless prepay customers charged 50 for messages received and sent. Network not available in all areas. ©2004 Verizon Wireless RUCHC • COnTIflUED FROdl 5 in his voice. His vocals are very sinewy and work well with I Am The Avalanche’s intense blues- and rock driven songs. Listening to their first album is like finding Samuel L. Jackson and Ron Jeremy using a chainsaw to slice a cake that has a stripper inside: scream-filled, hard and full of surprises. The track called “Symphony” starts off with a bluesy riff that seems to take lessons from Jet. Simplicity is the name of the game for this song, but it’s so effective because it addresses the singer’s need to lay out all of the simple things that make a special someone who they are. Ironically, there are no orchestral arrangements on this track. In “Murderous,” I Am The Avalanche delves into reggae for the verses of the song. This produces a strange sound, one that might remind people of Sublime. Now understand I that Caruana certainly doesn’t have the angelic vocals that Brad Nowell had. They also don’t have the reggae know-how of Bob Marley or Peter Tosh, but it’s definitely a different sound from the rest of the CD. But then the first chorus kicks in and it goes back to their normal rock sound. “This is Dungeon Music” is another track that must be mentioned. Do you like Def Leppard? Do you like arena rock? Do you like screaming lyrics at the top of your lungs and then having trouble sounding sexy the next day when you call your local dating service? Well if you fit this description too much then you’re not the right person for this song, but if you like audience participation at shows then it’s right up your alley. Give the chorus a listen and you’ll understand why. There’s a part where every fan can scream “Whooaaaoooo!” and then high-five their friends because they’re so awesome. Then they’ll probably stop at the Waffle House and get a Texas Patty Melt and some hash browns — scattered, covered and smothered. Then they’ll have a couple of cigarettes and play “Everybody (Backstreet’s Back)” on the jukebox and laugh at how that song was awesome before they realized the Backstreet Boys stink. No offense, Nick Carter. So go out today and check out I Am The Avalanche, a band that rocks most of the time and is redundant the rest of the time. But don’t worry about listening to them while camping because bears only like Bon Jovi. Comments on this story? E-mail gamecockfeatures@g wm.sc.edu Solutions -v; •• — - ! Drive-Thru Records breaks a recent string of debut CD flops with I Am The Avalanche, a band whose gritty vocals and unique sounds rock in a new way. [vi feappa Alpj, J rf , rv % i The Pi Kappa Alpha Fraternity will soon be added to the Univer sity of South Carolina campus. This highly respected international \ fraternity believes the historically strong Greek community at USC presents excellent opportunities for a new colony. Pi Kappa Alpha, commonly referred to as PIKE, was founded in 1868 at the University of Virginia. The establishment of the colony at USC will add yet another page to the Fraternity’s distin guished 137 year history. Since 1868, the Fraternity has grown to * 210 chapters and colonies throughout the United States and Canada with over 200,000 initiated members. One of the most influential fraternities in North America today, Pi Kappa Alpha proudly boasts the largest average chapter size and the most pledg ings and initiations per chapter for any inter/national fraternity over the past decade. j “We have achieved this success by attracting the highest quality individuals,” noted Expansion Consultant J.R. Parsons. “The I men who represent PIKE have made the decision to make the I*' 4 ; most of their college careers. From the youngest person ever to I receive the Congressional Medal of Honor to countless CEO’s and United States Congressmen, Pi Kappa Alpha members have set 1 themselves apart.” ri Rappa Alpha takes a unique approach when establishing a new | ! colony. The Fraternity recruits its members on a recommendation basis. Recommendations come from several sources including ■ 1 alumni, university administrators and faculty, athletic coaches, and B I student organizations. Recommended men then meet with Pi f Kappa Alpha consultants, who use these meetings in the develop- ■ ment of the new colony. “Pi Kappa Alpha is seeking outstanding men with diverse back- J grounds at the University of South Carolina to develop our Fraternity’s newest colony,” Parsons stated. “We believe Pi Kappa Alpha can elevate the college experience and bring future success to USC, the Greek community, and our colony members.” rarsons, along witn cnapter consultant 10m oisen, win dc on campus from March 13th through April 13th. Anyone interested in further information about this opportunity may contact them ■ by e-mail at jparsons@pikes.org / (olsen@pikes.org or by phone at I|1