Government,
baseball stars
waste time at
House hearing
■ Evasive players don t
answer steroid questions
from reform committee
Did anyone else watch the
congressional hearing on steroids?
No? Just me? Alright, quick
summary: the House of
Representatives' Government
Reform Committee decided to call
in a few former and active baseball
players and executives and waste
_ Lillie tWIVlllg,
them questions
about steroids.
The utter
stupidity of
this idea was so
mind-blowing
that it took me
a while to
comprehend it.
JAKE So I, being the
BROOM nice guy that I
am, have
SECOND-YEAR prepared the
POLITICAL I I
SCIENCE following
STUDENT Congressional
Steroids
Hearing Q &
A answering some of those
questions that I'm frequently asked.
Q: Jake, have you ever used
steroids?
A: Lately, I've been noticing the
way some of you have been
looking at me. I've heard the
whispers, and you aren't as sneaky
as you think with the pointing. I'd
like to take this opportunity to go
ahead and clear the air forever.
The answer is no. No, I, Jake
Broom, have never used steroids.
(This is where I would
dramatically look up, make serious
eye contact and slowly raise my
right arm until my index finger
was pointed defiantly toward you).
Period.
Q: Isn't there anvthinv herrer
that the House of Representatives
should be doing?
A: No. Well, other than
planning for the safe return of
thousands of young troops from
dangerous places across the world,
worrying about the future of social
security, improving and reforming
the health care system, working on
our diplomatic relationships with
European countries, discussing
alternative ways to lower gas
prices, fighting unemployment
and maybe even trying to
formulate ways to improve our
sagging educational system, no —
there is nothing more important
they should be doing.
Q: Was Sammy Sosa pretending
that he couldn't speak English
enough to understand the
questions the funniest thing you
have ever seen? Or was it Jose
Canseco stopping every three
seconds to refer to his attorney?
A: I'd say Sammy wins this one.
How long has he lived in America?
And he can’t understand the
question “Have you ever
knowingly used steroids?” Also,
could we not afford a translator?
Maybe that is too much to ask, but
it can't be that hard to find
somebody that speaks Spanish in
Washington, D.C. Although
Sammy was hilarious, Jose put up
a good fight. Every two freakin'
seconds, he'd turn and ask his
attorney a question. This is the
same man who once turned a sure
out into a home run when he let
the ball bounce off the top of his
head and over the fence. I can only
imagine what he was saying.
“Would you classify the amount of
gel in my hair as tremendous or
just ridiculous?”
u: way w«»ii i u<uxy Donas, me
only active player who is
threatening to break historic
records for home runs, forced to
come answer questions?
A: I’m not sure. Barry was last
seen ripping off his shirt, turning
green and stomping off, flipping
over cars.
Q: Were you shocked when
Mark McGwire broke down and
refused to answer when asked if he
had ever used steroids?
A: Well, it's pretty obvious he
did use steroids, and it s pretty
obvious he wasn't just going to
admit it on national TV. So, no, I
wasn't shocked that he didn t
answer. What would have shocked
me is if he busted out the “I plead
the fifth” sketch from
“Chappelle's Show.” “I plead the
fif! I plead the fif! FIVE!
One,two,three,four, fiiiif!” I
would forgive him if he did that.
I guess that pretty much does it
for the steroids thing. I guess the
moral of the story is that you
should never do steroids. If you do,
you might end up like McGwire,
Canseco, Sosa, and the rest of
them: Rich and farm jus ... and
tha;'s no way to go through life.
Bonds says he might not play this season
BEN MARGOT/THE ASSOCIATED PRESS
San Francisco Giant Barry Bonds returns to spring training camp
Tuesday in Scottsdale, Ariz. Bonds’ season is in question.
By KEN PETERS
THE ASSOCIATED PRESS
SCOTTSDALE, Ariz. —
Coming off knee surgery and
caught up in baseball's steroids
scandal, Barry Bonds said he may
not play at all this season —
despite standing on the doorstep
of the sport's most hallowed
record.
The San Francisco Giants
slugger also said he was physically
and mentally “done,” and blamed
the media for at least part of his
troubles.
“I'm tired of my kids crying.
You wanted me to jump off a
bridge, I finally did,” Bonds told
reporters Tuesday, shortly after
returning to training camp. “You
finally brought me and my family
down. ... So now go pick a
different person.”
Bonds, whose 703 career
homers are 11 short of Babe
Ruth's total and 52 behind Hank
Aaron's record, was back in camp
following last week's arthroscopic
surgery on his right knee.
Sitting at a picnic table
outside the Giants' clubhouse
with his 15-year-old son,
Nikolai, at his side, Bonds said,
“My son and I are just going to
enjoy our lives. You guys wanted
to hurt me bad enough, you
finally got me.”
Bonds said he was tired and
disappointed following a winter
in which he was accused of
steroid use, his grand jury
testimony was leaked and he had
two knee operations.
Leaning his head on a crutch
and repeatedly saying he was
tired, Bonds spoke after a 1 1/2
hour session with Giants trainer
Stan Gonte.
“Right now I'm just going to
try to rehab myself to get back to,
I don't know, hopefully next
season, hopefully the middle of
the season,” Bonds said. “I don't
know. Right now I'm just going
to take things slow.
“I'm 40 years old, not 20, 30.”
Bonds, who set the single
season record with 73 home runs
in 2001, underwent a similar
operation on the same knee on
Jan. 31 but had a setback after
workouts in camp earlier this
month.
He returned to the Bay Area
on March 16 and had surgery last
Thursday to repair cartilage.
Conte said last Thursday the
second operation put Bonds back
at “square one.”
Conte said Bonds went
through a “normal rehab six
days out of surgery” on Tuesday
and that his knee looked as
expected.
“1 expect he'll progress as knee
patients go,” the trainer said,
offering no prediction of when
the seven-time NL MVP might
be able to play again.
After Bonds' first operation
this winter, Conte had said
Bonds was expected to be
sidelined for six weeks. All the
trainer would say after the second
surgery was that Bonds was
unlikely to be ready for the
season opener.
Teammate Moises Alou, who
has come back from five surgeries,
said Bonds probably was just
having a bad day.
“Maybe today he was not very
optimistic. I think it was one of
those rehab days where you just
caught him on one of the bad
days,” Alou said. “It's not fun
when you come to the ballpark,
then have to go to the training
room to get taped and get
treatment.
“It's not as fun as when you
are young and wild and doing
things, especially when you are
the man.”
1
■ BASEBALL
Continued from page 12
in Baseball America's College
Baseball poll.
The road ahead for USC will
not get any easier, as five SEC
teams are ranked in the top 25
along with the Gamecocks.
After the series last weekend,
Carolina drops to 1-2 in SEC
play but is still 17-3 overall this
season.
First pitch is set for 7 p.m.
tonight.
Comments on this story? E-mail
gamecocksports@gwm.sc. edu
■ NIT
Continued from page 12
midcourt on the next possession
and bounced a pass to Balkman
for a dunk and a 24-11 lead. The
Runnin’ Rebels didn’t pull
within single digits again until
2:59 remained in the second
half.
“In the first 33 minures, we
played as well as we’ve played in a
long time,” USC coach Dave
Odom said. “Defensively, the
first 15 minutes of the game, we
took them out of their rhythm.
They really looked like they were
unsettled.”
From then. Carolina
produced big plays, one after
another, highlighted by the
crowd-pleaser that pulled USC
ahead 33-17. With 3:46
remaining in the first half,
Balkman grabbed the defensive
rebound and handed it to Powell
for the fast break. Driving to the
basket, Powell dished a no-looker
back to Balkman, whose layup
from under the rim missed but
was followed through with a
Tisby dunk to bring the crowd to
its feet.
“There was a great crowd
tonight,” Kelley said of the 8,730
in attendance. “I think we
wanted to show them not to be
disappointed in the team. We
were showing our fans tonight
that we’re ready to play
basketball.”
The Runnin’ Rebels never
threatened in the second half
despite pulling within 8. When
not on the foul line, the
Gamecocks seemingly scored at
will against the opposition.
UNLV relied on hot 3-point
shooting in the second to close
the gap, hitting 7-of-12 from
beyond the arc after hitting only
2-of-l 1 in the first. Senior Romel
Beck was the game’s leading
scorer, scoring 21 points after
going 5-of-10 from beyond the
arc.
“It was an excellent basketball
game,” Odom said. “UNLV is a
no-quit team. We’ve had trouble
closing games out. Hopefully,
that will get better.”
Powell led the Gamecocks
from the field, scoring 15 points
and eight rebounds. Wallace,
Tisby and Gonner rounded out
the double-digit scoring for the
Gamecocks. Tisby and Gonner
each scored 11 points in less than
20 minutes.
lhe (jamecocks return to
action Thursday night, playing
host to Georgetown, a 74-57
winner over Cal-Sate Fullerton
on Tuesday night. The game will
be a homecoming of sorts for
Kelley, who grew up in
Washington, D.C., home of the
Hoy as.
“It’s kind of short notice (to
get friends and relatives) here,” a
smiling Kelley said. “I almost
wish the game was in D.C. so
that I could have 4,500 in
there.”
The winner of the quarterfinal
game will travel to New York for
the NIT semifinals. USC last
made it to the championship
game in 2002, losing the final
72-62 to Memphis. Game time is
set for 7:30 p.m. with tickets
available immediately.
Comments on this story ? E-mail
gamecockspfrts@givm.sc. edu
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SEC News & Notes
Pettway receives weekly honor
Ole Miss infielder Brian Pettway was named
SEC Player of the Week for his performance last
week against Florida. The junior from Vicksburg,
Miss., batted .438 in five games. Pettway went 7
of-16 from the plate, with three home runs, seven
RBIs and a 1.063 slugging percentage.
Pettway's three home runs and five RBIs came
in a 2-1 series win against the Gators. Pettway had
his first career multi-homer game in a 10-4 win
against the Gators on Saturday.
Pettway came through with a gante-winning
RBI double in a 6-5 win over SE Missouri State
last Tuesday. •
In Sunday's 3-2 victory against Florida, Pettway
was l-of-2, with one RBI to extend his hitting
streak to 21 games. Pettway is batting .434 on the
season with eight home runs and 28 RBIs.
Hochevar grabs two awards
Tennessee pitcher Luke Hochevar was named
SEC Pitcher of the Week and National Pitcher of
the Week by the National Collegiate Baseball
Writers Association.
The junior threw a complete game one-hitter to
lead the No. 25 Volunteers to a 2-1 victory in
Friday’s SEC opener against Auburn. Hochevar
retired 18 straight batters at one point and took a
no-hitter into the ninth before surrendering a base
hit to the Tigers.
For the game, Hochevar gave up one run on
one hit with four walks and 11 strikeouts. The
win improved his record to 5-1 this year, with a
1.47 ERA. He has thrown two complete games
and picked up victories in each of his last five
outings.
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