The gamecock. (Columbia, S.C.) 1908-2006, January 23, 2004, Page 4, Image 4
4 THE GAMECOCK ♦ Friday, January 23, 2004
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In.Our.Opinion
Slow search
hinders USC
USC’s hiring of Burnele Powell as dean of the law
school is good news considering that the school was
without a leader for almost two years.
However, it also highlights the problem that USC
faces in attracting deans. Searches are underway for
a provost as well as deans for the pharmacy school,
the yet-to-be-formed college of arts and sciences and
the Arnold School of Public Health.
Dean searches are taking entirely too long, as
evidenced by a survey of faculty members who
identified the process as their number one concern.
A lack of consistent
The length of leadership is a serious
dean searches problem for existing
for major colleges departments and schools as
Cripples the vision they grapple with the effects
^ a^ , of budget cuts, and even more
has for USC’s , , ’ . ...
. so for new departments like
progress
the College of Arts and
Sciences.
USC President Andrew Sorensen has proposed
many sweeping changes and improvements to USC’s
organizational structure. But for the ideas to be
effective, they must be supported by strong
personalities committed to innovation.
This is impossible if dean searches follow the
trend seen in the law school committee’s slothful
approach to the process. Granted, it is important to
be methodical to ensure candidates have quality
experience, but the systematic nature of the
problem suggests that another approach should be
pursued.
In any large organization, be it federal government
or a state university, one of the biggest hurdles to
timely responses is the institutionalized
bureaucracy that prevents the use of new solutions
to old problems.
For Sorensen’s vision of a better university to
come to life, he and the administration must find
ways to hasten the search process for
administrators.
Gamecock.Corrections '
In Wednesday's The Mix, the Manifest graphic should have
been credited to Mary Pinckney Waters and Shawn Rourk.
In Wednesday's corrections, Lucas Black's name was misspelled.
The Gamecock regrets the errors.
If you see an error in today’s paper, we want to know. E-mail us
at gamecockopinions@gwm.sc.edu.
AboutJhe.Gamecock
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Adam Beam
Copy Desk Chief
Gabrielle Sinclair.
Design Director
Shawn Rourk
News Editor
Michael LaForgia
Asst. News Editor
Alexis Stratton
Viewpoints Editor
Patrick Augustine
The Mix Editor
Meg MooFe
Sports Editor
Wes Wolfe
Asst. Sports Editor
Jonathan Hillyard
Photo Editor
Morgan Ford
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Johnny Haynes
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Erin Cline, Staci Jordan,
Brian Ray, Brad Senkiw,
Mary Waters
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Freeman, Jessica Foster,
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Z’Anne Coveil
Online Editor
James Tolbert
Public Affairs
Kimberly Dressier
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KOvin Fellner
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The Gamecock Advertising: 777-3888
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CARTOON COURTESY OF KRT CAMPUS
Capitol claps to Bush beat
The Capitol. President George
W. Bush enters through the back
door of the House chamber.
Smiling and shaking hands, he
has forgone the customary solid
colored red or blue tie in favor of
one with a pic
ture of comic
strip character
Dilbert. Bush
approaches the
podium, takes
his place and
begins his State
of the Union ad
dress. DAVID STAGG
BUSH: Third-year
GOOOOOD media arts
MORNING student
VIETNAM!
Silence.
BUSH: Mr. Speaker, Vice
President Cheney, members of
Congress, distinguished guests,
fellow citizens, my milkman, the
gardener, Col. Mustard and Mrs.
Peacock: Americans are proving
once again to be the hardest
working people in the world. The
American economy is growing
stronger. The tax relief you
passed is working.
Applause from the Republican
Party, approximately half of the
crowd, while approximately one
third of the Democratic party can
be seen playing its Game Boy
Advances. Cut to shot of secretary
of commerce in a hidden bunker
in the Andes Mountains. Cut to
shot of secretary of Game Boy
Advances in crowd, ironically seen
playing Atari.
BUSH: Tonight, members of
Congress can take pride in great
works of compassion and reform
that skeptics had thought impos
sible. You are giving our senior
citizens prescription drug cover
age under Medicare.
Standing applause. However,
as Vice President Dick Cheney sits
down, a loud noise can be heard.
Speaker of the House J. Dennis
Hastert has placed a whoopee
cushion in his chair. More ap
plause.
BUSH: Our greatest responsi
bility is the active—
Presidential hopeful Howard
Dean blatantly interrupts Bush by
throwing open the back doors.
DEAN: Mer mer blah squiggle
California! New Mexico! British
Columbia! Istanbul, Turkey! The
louder I yell, the more my face be
comes a dark shade of cherry red!
After this statement, Dean
runs his body through the back
wall of the House, costing tax
payers approximately one year
of Dean's gubernatorial salary.
Standing ovation.
BUSH: The United States and
our allies are determined: We
refuse to live in the shadow of this
ultimate danger.
Applause. Cut to shot of
Senator-ette Hillary Clinton. Her
thoughts become audible.
CLINTON: God, I've got a huge
Overbite. More applause.
BUSH: Since we last met—
Applause.
BUSH: —in this chamber —
More applause, this time only
from the Republicans, as the
Democrats swear it's not a "cham
ber” they're in, per se, but rather
a large room.
BUSH: — combat forces of the
—More applause. This time, how
ever, it comes from both parties be
cause New England Patriots quar
terback Tom Brady has just suc
cessfully defeated first lady Laura
Bush at paper football in the
grand stand.
BUSH: All right. I can handle
Iraq. I can handle being com
pared to Hitler by political Web
sites. But this applause thing is
getting out—Just then, a faint
noise can be heard. It gets louder
as Bush continues his line but soon
overwhelms the speech, and Bush
is forced to stop.
CELL PHONE: Beep beep, bee
dle beedle beep beep.
COLIN POWELL: Sorry,
that's me.
In Your Opinion
University calendar
undermines Easter
As I entered my classes this
spring semester, I was told by
my professors that students no
longer get the Monday after
Easter off from school.
For many students, this is
traditionally a time to visit rel
atives out of town to celebrate
the religious holiday that falls
on a Sunday.
Instead, we must now rush
through plans with aunts, un
cles, cousins and grandparents
to come home on Easter day. I,
for one, always visit my large
family in Atlanta, where we
traditionally gather on Sunday
for church, Easter egg hunts
and a family dinner.
Now it seems as though
Easter is not important enough
of a holiday to grant a day off
from school.
I am very disappointed with
the recent priorities of the uni
versity.
MONICA GILBERT
THIRD-YEAR ADVERTISING
STUDENT.
Teach-in example
of open dialogue
Last night at A1 Franken's
lecture in the Koger Center, the
audience was treated to a com
bination of humor, accusation
and information. During the
question and answer period, a
few people emerged from the
audience to approach the mi
crophones, or as Strom might
say, “the machines.”
These people included ac
tivists, Student Government
members and one memorable
Young Republican who asked
Mr. Franken for an opinion
about the persecution and
marginalization of politically
conservative student groups
within the university system.
He cited the exclusion of mem
bers of his club from a Teach
In, or free speech forum, held
in fall 2002 at Preston College.
Exclusion! Excluded?
This deserved a response,
but not from A1 Franken, who
was unaware of the discrimi
nation in question but was sure
that at least the club was suffi
ciently funded, but rather from
someone who had been there.
The members of Hal
French's class on the nonvio
lent tactics of Gandhi and
Martin Luther King Jr. wanted
that Teach-In to allow people to
communicate about the U.S.
war on terrorism.
That day, the principal orga
nizers and moderators, my
classmates Elizabeth “Puck”
Catanese and Joey Oppermann,
certainly gave those Young
Republicans who attended the
chance to speak.
But eventually, the Young
Republicans began passing the
microphone to each other; that
is to say, the Young Republican
Club members attempted to fili
buster this public forum, as
though there was some goal at
tained by preventing people from
openly disagreeing with them.
But the goal for us was to edu
cate everyone. This goal was the
reason why Mr. Oppermann end
ed their filibuster.
He did, I suppose, exclude pen
pie who wouldn't listen or share
from monopolizing the time of
those who would. But I don't
think it was at all based on the
fact that these guys were conser
vatives.
I can't wait for the next teach
in.
MARIANNE PARRISH
FOURTH-YEAR FRENCH STUDENT.
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College
kids need
laundry
tutorial
I have come to the realization
that everything you need to know
in life you're not going to learn
in college. Sure, in our little mi
crocosm of society you can read
anything from Homer to Douglas
Adams, prove mathematically
that time travel is possible and
even perform intricate tests on
the resilience of your liver.
But can you sew on a button?
The first and only time I took a
home economics class was in the
sixth-grade. We
learned how to
cross-stitch and
to make green
bean casserole
(read: every
thing comes
from a can). An
KRISTEN elementary sci
GILMORE enc® teacher
Second-year ^ught my class
theatre how t0 make
student doughnuts.
That's about it.
After living on my own for a
while, I've realized that there are
a lot of vital life skills I don't have ■
— and college isn't going to teach
me any of them.
For instance, how many stu
dents can honestly say they
know how to replace an appli
ance plug?
I don't mean buying a new
Ethernet cable and hearing that
satisfying “click” as it secures it
self into the back of your Mac, but
actually cutting off a spark
throwing old toaster plug, strip
the plastic and properly reat
taching the wires to the prongs of
a new one.
It's simple maintenance, takes
about five minutes and can save
your home from fire. But do you
know how to do it off the top of
your head?
How about a task you dread—
laundry. Separating lights from
darks, using proper washing and
drying cycles, detergent, fabric
softener, bleach — I have dozens
of neighbors who have ruined a
favorite white blouse by throw
ing their crusty red underwear
in with it.
My sister has destroyed count
less garments of mine from
thinking that every load needs a
healthy dose of Clorox. Laundry
is deceptively simple, but if you
aren't sure, it would be a good
idea to get that cashmere sweater
professionally cleaned.
Here's a big one, ladies — auto
maintenance. I'm guilty of it as
well — I claim I'm too weak to
change a tire, and I'm too chick
en to replace my own battery. I
do know how to add oil and re
place belts and hoses, but when
it comes to the engine, I fork over
the cash to get someone else to
look at it.
There is money to be saved —
or spent on pretty things — by
learning to tweak and tune your
car yourself, but most of us are
up a creek.
There are numerous skills typ
ical students never learn — ba
sic plumbing, household carpen
try, cleaning, budgeting, first aid,
culinary arts and personal
grooming, to name a few.
A lucky few were raised to un
derstand these and are doing well
for themselves, but the rest of us
survive off of the GMP and 7
FIXX.
I have an idea for a new ap
proach to University 101 — how
about retitle it, “How to Survive.”
Classes could take informative
field trips to Laundromats, local
garages and soup kitchens while
learning the basics of mechanics
and CPR in the classroom.
No more of that silly “write a
fake term paper” drivel. It would
be the one collegiate course that
would still be useful in ten years.
I think it's brilliant.
Oniine.Poll Should USC’s law school raise entrance requirements?
Yes 74%
No 26%
Yes, it could give
them prestige in the
Southeast”
SAMIR MASIC
FIRST-YEAR FINANCE AND
INTERNATIONAL BUSINESS STUDENT
I
‘No,because they
are a state
institution.”
MICHAEL MCGOVERN
CONTINUING EDUCATION STUDENT
“If I was a law
school student I’d go
to Charleston.”
KIMBERLY CRAWFORD
FIRST-YEAR NURSING STUDENT
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