Osbournes showcased
in new “reality sitcom”
BY DAVID BAUDER
THE ASSOCIATED PRESS
NEW YORK - The boxes are
stacked outside the Beverly Hills
home, ready to be carried in.
Each is neatly labeled: “pots and
pans,” “linens,” “devil heads,”
“dead things.”
Plainly, Ozzie and Harriet
aren't moving in.
This Ozzy is Ozzy Osbourne,
the heavy metal rock star, and
his family. Their arrival in the
neighborhood heralds a hilari
ous new MTV series, “The
Osbournes,T that premieres 10:30
p.m. EST Tuesday.
MTV describes it as televi
sion's first “reality sitcom,” a for
mat that suggested itself natu
rally because nothing they could
invent around the Osbournes
would be as funny as their actual
lives.
Just the idea of the Black
Sabbath founder, who will forev
er be known for biting the head
off a bat during a 1982 concert, as
a family man seems strange. Yet
leather and black mascara can be
deceiving.
Osbourne, 53, is slightly ad
dled but sweetly funny - and un
der everything a lot like the put
upon dads you've been seeing in
television sitcoms for genera
tions.
Watch a bewildered Ozzy
fruitlessly try to navigate a satel
lite TV remote control, begging
for help from his 16-year-old son.
“I'm stuck on the Weather
Channel,” Tie says.
“Arrrggghhh!”„
His wife, Sharon, is a formida
ble talent manager in her own
right who organizes the popular
Ozzfest summer concert tours.
She leaped to Ozzy's defense at a
recent news conference when a
reporter asked whether MTV
would close-caption Osbourne's
occasionally indecipherable dia
logue.
“Who said that?” she demand
ed. When the reporter stood up,
Sharon swore at her.
Indeed, expletives appear to be
the Osbournes' favorite form of
communication. During the first
30-minute episode, dialogue is
bleeped out 59 times. The “South
Park” kids would be proud.
Two of the couple's three chil
dren -Jack and 17-year-old Kelly
- are featured in the series. A
third, older child opted out.
Jack's something of an oddball
having trouble fitting in at
school. The pink-haired, high
strung Kelly is, like any teen
ager, appropriately embarrassed
by her parents.
In a future episode, Ozzy talks
to Kelly about the dangers of get
ting a tattoo. Dad also gives Kelly
and Jack a lecture one night as
they're about to go out.
“Don't drink,” he says. “Don't
take drugs. If you have sex, wear
a condom.”
A horrified Kelly looks like
she can't get out of the room fast
enough.
There's trouble with the neigh
bors, too. The family next door
plays music too loud and it’s dri
ving the Osbournes crazy.
They're nothing like one of their
former neighbors, Pat Boone and
his family, who were “the best
neighbors we ever had,” Sharon
said.
“We had Pat Boone on one side
and Meat Loaf on the other,”
Kelly recalled.
“It was sort of like a Satan
sandwich,” Ozzy said.
The Osbournes had been
thinking of turning their lives
into a television show for a while,
after a well-received segment
about their home life on the MTV
series, “Cribs." Television exec
utives they talked to wanted to
build a fictional show around
them. They didn't want to be like
“Ozzie & Harriet,” where the peo
ple were real but their television
life wasn’t.
“We're not the Partridge fami
ly,” Sharon said. “It had to be real
or we wouldn't do it. MTV agreed
to dcTit as it was and just leave it
pure.”
So they agreed to live with
cameras everywhere for a few
months. “We all learned a lot
about ourselves - that we all
swear too much and have bad
tempers,” she said.
Jack and Kelly bicker like all
teen-aged siblings. With insults
- and objects - flying between
them, an exasperated Ozzy says
at one point, “I love you all, I
love vou more than life itself.
but you’re all (expletive) mad!”
“We argue,” Sharon ex
plained, “but at the end of the day
we all love each other.”
What family couldn't relate?
One reason the Osbournes did
the series was to demystify their
lives. Look beyond the Beverly
Hills home, stocked with Ozzy's
collection of devils and crucifix
es, and viewers will see lives that
are pretty mundane.
“What is a functional family?”
Ozzy asked. “I know I'm dysfunc
tional by a long shot, but what
guidelines do we all have to go
by? The Waltons? What I'm try
ing to say is, what is the family
that we should all take our inspi
ration from?”
Comments on this story?E-mail
gamecockmixeditor@hotmail.com
I CD REVIEW
Bragg explores Englishness
BILLY BRAGG
“England, Half English”
★★★★ out ££☆☆☆☆☆
BY TUG BAKER'
THE GAMECOCK
In 1961, acclaimed English writer
and political activist Colin
Machines published a collection of
essays, "England, Half English.”
These essays supported Machines'
ideas about how England in the
1950s was being steadily trans
formed by a burgeoning influence
of different cultures, including
everything hum American pop mu
sic to the appearance ofAfrican and
West Indian communities after
World War II.
This book challenged the idea
of true "Englishness,” which
Maclnnes felt was corrupted by
the political establishment to not
include the vast range of outside
influences on English culture.
One would think that this would
not be the case today. But accord
ing to Billy Bragg, the situation
hasn’t changed at all.
Bragg’s new album not only
takes its title, "England, Half
English,” from Maclnnes's trea
tise, but it also imports all the
same ideas.
“Identity is purely personal,”
Bragg said. “It only becomes a
problem when someone else tells
you what you are. I am no longer
prepared to allow others—the far
right — to define my identity.”
A name in political activism
right up there with fellow song
writers Woody Guthrie, Bob
Dylan and Joan Baez, Bragg is no
stranger to speaking out against
the British government. This al
bum marks his sixth full-length al
bum, not to mention his EPs and
appearances on a number of com
pilation albums. Most recently,
Bragg has been in the spotlight for
the two “Mermaid Avenue” al
bums he released with American
alternative-country rockers Wilco.
These two Grammy-nominated al
bums featured Bragg and Wilco
putting music to the unfinished
songs of Guthrie, a task that Bragg
was right at home with.
It was this collaboration with
Wilco that led Bragg to decide to
have a backup band to put his lyrics
to music for him, and he began tour
ing with The Blokes in 1999. The
Blokes are led by Ian McLagan, the
noted keyboardist for the ‘60s mod
group The Small Faces.
The first collection of new Bragg
songs since 1996's “William Bloke,”
“England, Half English” marks a
triumphant return for the Essex
born activist The album follows the
brilliant formula applied in
"William Bloke” and finds Bragg
balancing a mixture of politically
fueled tunes and songs, mostly
about women, reflecting Bragg s
own personality. This balance helps
the album achieve its political goals
while not beating the message over
the listener's head with a mallet.
“St. Monday,” “The Tears of My
Tracks” and “NWPA” all find
Bragg taking on the voice of the av
erage working-class Englishman.
Bragg shows the corruption of the
capitalistic elements of the new
British economy. The album's first
single, “NWPA,” stands out among
these tracks as it recounts a tale
about a typical “company town”
worker who was laid off when
“some guy clicked on a mouse.”
The rallying chorus sums up
Bragg's views very succinctly:
“Can you hear us? Are you listen
ing? No power without account
ability!”
To provide the aforementioned
balance to the album, Bragg in
cludes the delightful songs “Jane
Allen” and "Another Kind of Judy.”
“Jane Allen” is about a woman .
who, upon discovering that Bragg
is a married man, wants “to find
out exactly how married I am.”
Just as whimsical, but with a
stronger sense of regret, “Another
Kind of Judy” tells of a romance
that just didn't work out. Both
songs give a good idea of Bragg’s
sense of humor and show that he
can do more than just write about
politics.
The two songs that truly make
“England, Half English” work are
its title track and “Take Down the
Union Jack.” “England, Half
English” is not only witty as hell,
but it also manages to tie in the
ideas of Maclnnes as they apply
today. Bragg talks of eating veg
gie curry, Marmite soldiers (a tra
ditional English snack) and a cap
puccino. The songs ends with the
line “Oh my country, oh my coun
try, oh my country, what a beau
tiful country you are,” which is
taken from an Algerian folk song.
The most proactive of all the
songs on the album is “Take Down
the Union Jack.” In one of the only
tracks where both the music and
words were written by Bragg, he
goes back to his roots with slow
electric guitar strumming as he
croons. Again, he hits home with
his ideas of true “Englishness,” say
ing, “Ask our Scottish neighbors if
independence looks any good.” The
song ends with a statement about
“what it really means to be an
Anglo hyphen Saxon in
England.co.uk.”
With The Blokes breathing fresh
air into Bragg’s thought-provoking
lyrics, his message has never
sounded so new and clean.
Whereas most songwriters of his
kind may find it hard to stay afloat
for so long, Bragg definitely man
ages to keep his head well above
water. “England, Half English”
marks one of the best Bragg albums
yet. It is a must for any fan, and a
perfect album for those who have
never been exposed to Bragg’s own
brand of protest.
Comments on this story? E-mail
?amecockmixeditor(a)hotmail.com
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