Historical Newspapers of South Carolina

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TCht ©amecock Ain't ain't a word cause it ain't in the dictionary—or is it? Ih a v e learned a _ lot this summer. I have learned that you can live on canned vegetables if you don’t have time to grocery-shop. I have learned that you can not survive on three hours of sleep for a week straight. I have learned that summer colds suck and that they probably result from eating only canned P vegetables for a week and getting three hours of sleep a night. I discovered that genteel, when spelled incorrectly, can spark major conflicts between professors and students and I have learned that 1 should fear my copy editing course this fall. But mostly, my “summer of words” has taught me that words are important. My internship, journalism and English courses and work as editor have proved that words are going to be a major part of my life from now on and I have to learn to like them. I, like most students, hail Mr. Webster and his second edition New College Dictionary. This sur vival guide has graced my book shelves since my freshman year of high school and I have become P dependent on it for essays and the definitions of words like derelic tion. However, a recent upset occurred when I saw the informa tion Random House released on the third edition of its New College Dictionary. While I had not been eagerly awaiting its arrival, I was interested in the new words that Random House felt deserved a spot in its acclaimed reference book. I was shocked to find that the dictionary, which came out just in time for the new school year, has added words that would make most professors keel over and my mother wash my mouth out with soap. After years of using the dictio nary, I’d learned that it was a tool and not a reference on which words were excusable in college essays. For instance, I always thought it was cute that my dictio nary had doofus in it. I knew bet ter than to use it, but it was great just knowing it was in there. However, some of the newest additions are frightening, not charming. Take the word gaydar. I was shocked to see it on the fist and, for a moment, prayed it would be defined as “the ability to spot a happy person.” No such luck. Whatever definition you learned on the streets or in your dorm is correct. No, I’m not homophobic, but it, too, is in the new dictionary. Dead-cat bounce was equally as frightening and I feared that the pledge system had finally gained enough influence to create their own new word. (It really has something to do with the stock market.) I now know words that make me feel old and out of touch, though I’m not old enough to drink yet. However, I studied the list dili gently until I could use each word in a sentence. To demonstrate my ‘higher” intellegence, I’ve used all of them in the sentence below. Gen Y’ers who, while sky surfing see some eye candy and suffer a senior moment in their wetware, missing the antiglare coming their way could, after running the mouse potato in the soccer mom :ar off the road, say my bad and get away with it. Translation for those of us bom before 1984: Dead Head mall rats who, while in-line skating see some total hottie and suffer brain freeze in their noggin, missing the headlights coming their way could, after running the computer geek in the gas guzzling car off the road, say ‘dude, bummer’ and get away with it. The Random House editors who I used their higher intelligence to o choose these words, which will E probably make us all wince when u we see them in 2010 along with our 21st birthday pictures, make di me wonder when they will add “1 other words that demonstrate al more impressive creativity, like h« farfrompukin, or those that might weather time better, like ass pirate ' Kid Rock’s favorite - Bullgod ef. Bullgod - reference to one ho enjoys pleasing cattle. So, when you pick up your new ctionary, turn directly to iidgepacker” and see what valu ile treasures the English languare is to offer. -“I Miranda LaLonde is a journalism junior and summer editor in chief. She can be reached at gamecockview points@hotmail 10 suggestions by Gamecock staffers for Webster's next College Dictionary 1. The*Cock /kok/ n. reference to the University of South Carolina's student newspaper, The Gamecock. 2. Sor*os*ti*tute /sawrahstih tuhte/ n. a promiscuous female in a Greek organization. 3. Card*board /kaardbawrd/ adj. The taste of the pizza at Gibbes Court. 4. Blow*out /blo-owt/ n. when your pants turn brown after sit ting on the new RH green space. 5. Wuss*ie /wuhsse/ n. refer ence to the University of South Carolina's student radio station, WUSC. 6. T*P*Stork*s /teepeeststawrk/ n. the cleaning staff that delivers toilet paper to your door. 7. T*P•Gnome's /teepeenom/ n. the gnomes who steal your freshly delivered toilet paper from your doorstep. 8. Lou*zer /loozer/n. the 1-21 Gamecock football team, oyer the 1998-99 seasons. 9. In*flatted scoo*ter*s n. the best way to describe meter-maid mobiles 10. Sharks /shaark/ n. meter maids who drive around in their inflated scooters picking off inno cent college students - « * m , A* Three times a week. In front of 26,000 people. We do it for the love of ... j Ihc 0amccort. Welcome Back. 1 ‘™ 1111 1 11 .1 " 1 ■ Diagnostic Kits by omRon, • Sprague Stethoscope and Sphygmomanometer with 20 Year Calibration Warranty • Stainless Steel Bandage Scissors • Stethoscope Name Tag \\ ' 0 • Penlight Cj ° v<® • Tape Measure 's-1‘ . i* • Matching Nylon Zippered Carrying Case • Free Gauge Guard Included • Special Price for Students $39.95 +ta* While Supplies Last “ L -- All Medical § ^ _ ☆ I-SSU. ■ WEPICflt HAMPTON ST - - - ■ 2011 Hampton Street, Cola., SC Richland Co. 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