The gamecock. (Columbia, S.C.) 1908-2006, February 11, 2000, Page 8, Image 8
_ETCETERA_ __
'Romantically challenged'
get advice from the 'dating doctor'
BY MACKENZIE CRAVEN
Assistant etCetera Editor
Looking for love in the wrong places? Meeting the same
cycle of losers one after another? Tired of being single with
a campus full of potential dates?
All of these questions and more were answered at the
“Romantically Challenged” workshop held by “Dating Doc
tor” David Coleman and sponsored by Carolina Produc
tions.
David Coleman is responsible for helping many college
students find relationships and stay with exisiting ones.
Have you ever
that person’s eyes for a quick glance. Then a few seconds
later, look again, but for one solid second. Finally, for a
third time look at the person again, but this time stare them
down, and allow their eyes to leave first. With any luck,
the person will keep getting closer and closer, and the stare
down brawl will ignite a full blown conversation.
Coleman believes that students should make the first
move, instead of waiting for the right moment.
“People seldom remember who broke the ice, they’re
just happy to be standing inthe puddle,” Coleman said.
Coleman also encourages students to be open minded
when meeting that person for the first time. Most people
can be found guilty of committing a projection error. They
assume something about the person based on that first im
pression. Just because Joey has a cute little Labrador re
triever doesn’t mean he is a sweet, cuddly guy; for all you
know, he could be a mass murderer. Word to the wise:
Before assumptions are made about a person, keep an open
mind and an open heart.
Who has the most control in a relationship? Many
are in disbelief if they think it is mutual partnership.
Coleman believes one of the people involved has
control. In fact, the person who cares the least has the most
control.
“We do things for each other because we love each oth
er, and we like to make each other happy,” business ju
nior Becky Ford said.
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same type of “loser” time after time. Coleman has a sim
ple solution to explain why people do that.
“We repeat poor relationships because we seek out what
is familar to us, and what we practice we become good at,”
Coleman said.
What do men and women want the most? Love, at
tention, sex?
Actually, most people want what they cannot have. For
example, if Sarah dumps Sammy and then sees Sammy with
Sally, she might get a little jealous.
Why? Because she suddenly sees Sammy Bighead as an
attractive hottie?
No, Sally wants
what she cannot
have. But, Cole
man reminds her
that she got rid of
Sammy for a rea
>on, and she
shouldn’t forget
that reason.
Coleman
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mon characteristics of liars: They aviod eye contact, get
nervous, overexplain the truth, change their style of com
munication, probe information, develop selective hearing
and may avoid the person. If someone is being cheated
on, it is happening because that person doesn’t say any
thing.
Students were also interested in the clues to look for
to determine whether they found “the one.”
Coleman suggests they might have found that person if
they aren’t interested in anyone else, the relationship is ef
fortless, they have the same core thoughts on religon or
other things that are important to them, and, most impor
tantly, if they are both whole people within the relation
ship.
Coleman addressed the issue of long-distance relation
ships. He said 90 percent of one-year long-distance rela
tionship fail for one or all of the following reasons.
■ People force communication to occur every day.
■ Huge phone bills cause arguments over money and
the mundane.
■ Humans crave physical affection.
■ Absence doesn’t make the heart gow fonder - prox
im- ity does.
■ They surprise visit one another, then get upset.
■ They cheat themselves out of the college experience.
■ They grow apart.
■ Reunions are passionate; separations are emotional.
Coleman said most relationships end because of RAMS
- religon, alcohol, money or sex. v
Coleman has advice for those who recently ended a re
lationship. n
He held a dollar bill up to the audience and asked them ti
vho wanted it.
He proceeded by saying bad things to it, then again asked ii
;he students who wanted it. 1:
He then crumpled it up and abused it and asked them
rho wanted it.
He reminded students that just because someone does
’t want a relationship with them or because their emo
ons were abused, that doesn’t change their net worth
Coleman’s Web site, www.datingdoctor.com, offers dat
ig advice and more for the relationship novice and the re
itionship-savvy.
passeu up uiai crusn
you see everyday,
but you are never
still able to muster
together the nerve
to make that first
move?
For this, Cole
man recommends
the eye-contact
method. First, catch
‘We repeat poor relationships because we seek out what is
familar to us, and what we practice we become good at.’
David Coleman
‘dating doctor’
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Crystal Gayle follows own style
by Jim Patterson
The Associated Press
Nashville, Tenn. - Crystal Gayle smiles
politely, suppresses an eye roll, then fi
nally gives up and laughs out loud.
The singer, known for her flowing,
long brown hair and streak of elegant
country music hits in the 1970s and ’80s,
had just been asked if Shania Twain’s pop
country hits had pushed country music
to pop for its own good.
“What’s country? What’s pop?” she
asks.
“If I lived in another time, I was def
initely that cabaret singer somewhere,”
she said. “Maybe it would be a cabaret
in a honky-tonk, or a saloon in the Old
West.”
Gayle’s latest album typically dis
cards musical labels. It’s “Crystal
Gayle Sings the Heart & Soul of Hoagy
Carmichael” (Platinum Records).
Gayle, 49, has wanted to do the al
bum ever since working with the leg
endary songwriter on a television special
shortly before his death in 1981.
Backed by an orchestra, Gayle de
livers gorgeous vocals on the classics
“Stardust,” “Georgia on My Mind” and
“Heart and Soul.”
“How many kids are playing that
right now?” Gayle said of “Heart and
Soul,” the song that generations of chil
dren have repeatedly plunked out on the
piano.
Gayle, the youngest sister of coun
try music legend Loretta Lynn, was ex
posed to an eclectic selection of music
during her childhood, including the
music of Carmichael.
Lynn grew up in the mountains of
Kentucky.
Gayle, who was bom Brenda Webb,
was raised in Wabash, Ind. They’re 16
years apart.
“When I first started, they’d say, ‘You
can’t be Loretta Lynn’s sister. You don’t
sound like her,”’ Gayle said.
“If my voice is a little bit different
and it doesn’t have the twang, it’s because
when I grew up ... my dialect was a lit
tle of everything.”
Lynn gave Gayle her start in the mu
sic business.
Gayle joined the Lynn show as a
backup singer at 16. Lynn, who relished
the hamburgers served by the Krystal
restaurant chain, suggested the stage name
of Crystal.
Gayle’s first hits were in the hard
country style of Lynn, and sometimes
written by her, too. But Gayle didn’t
hit her stride until leaving Lynn’s record
label Decca and signing with United Artists
in 1972. She was paired with producer
Allen Reynolds, who became Garth
Brooks’ producer in the 1980s.
Reynolds and Gayle crafted a mid
dle-of-the-road sound to highlight the
singer’s lush alto, and the hits started com
ing. “Don’t It Make My Brown Eyej
Blue” and “Talking in Your Sleep,” which
crossed over to the pop charts, are among
the most memorable of her 18 No. 1 hits.
“Even then, that (pop) question was
there,” Gayle said. “When we did ‘Don't
It Make My Brown Eyes Blue,’ we
weren’t thinking it was going to be a
big pop hit. We didn’t know. Wfe just loved
the song.”
Gayle has recorded pop standards
from the 1930s and ’40s on her albums,
and she has tried to persuade record ex
ecutives to let her do an album of them.
“I had just gotten a pass to do that,
and that was right when (Linda) Ronstadt
brought hers out,” Gayle said, speaking
of Ronstadt’s 1983 album “What’s New.”
“It was not the perfect time for me
to do it, ’cause they’d say, ‘She’s only do
ing it now because of the Ronstadt
record.’”
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**LOTTERY FEBRUARY 22, 2000**
**LOTTERY FEBRUARY 22, 2000**
Priority Reservations Lottery
2nd Floor Lobby Russell House
February 22, 2000
9:00 A.M. - 1st Ballroom Date
10:00 A.M. - 2nd Ballroom Date
For more information, contact the Reservations
Office at 777-7127 or stop by Russell Flouse 218.
^
Russell House University Union
Priority Reservations
August - December 2000
Priority I: Universi.' Wide Events.February 15, 2000
(See definition on page 97 in the Carolina Community)
Priority II: Carolina Productions.February 18, 2000
(See definition on page 97 in the Carolina Community)
Priority III: Registered Student Organizations.February 22,2000
(See information below about the Lottery on Feb. 22,2000)
Priority IV: Other.February 28, 2000
(Academic Departments or administrative units or other student organizations as designated
in the Carolina Community, page 95)
NOTE: Academic Space will not be reserved until September 7. 2000
(See definition on page 95 in the Carolina Community)
Because of the high demand for space in the Russell House a “lottery” system is used to ensure
equitable distribution of space to registered student organizations. The highest level of demand
is for Ballroom reservations, however, the lottery system will apply to all reservable spaces in the
Russell House.
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