Historical Newspapers of South Carolina

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Quote, Unquote ‘Because it’s fun for the people, people think it's also fun for the animals.’ Amanda Presley, S.E.T.A. Wte (Bamecock Serving the Carolina Community since 1Q08 Editorial Board Kenley Young • Editor in Chief Brad Walters • Managing Editor Brock Vergakis • Viewpoints Editor Peter Johnson • Assistant Viewpoints Editor Sara Ladenheim • Editorial Contributor Emily Streyer • Editorial Contributor Internet regulation at S.C. libraries unjust he Republican lawmakers who are pressuring state public li braries to add equipment that blocks pornographic Internet sites are blatantly infringing on library patrons’ rights to choice and free speech. Currently, eight libraries in South Carolina, including those in Lexington County, block access to pornography and don’t allow patrons to use search engines that could possibly turn up pornogra phy sites. Lawmakers such as Confederate flag ally Rep. John Courson, R-Richland, proposed the legislation because of a belief that the sites “go beyond the pale.” Courson and his allies don’t define what pornography is in any of their proposed legislation. Rather, they hope to leave it up to the prospective librarians to determine which sites should receive a block. Hate groups and violence advocates also fall into the realm of pornographic literature, according to the legislation, and will also be blocked from library access. A similar measure to block pornographic sites from the Darla Moore School of Business’ student-access computers was met with much disapproval when implemented. Students couldn’t access The Gamecock Online because of the universally accepted USC term “cock.” Requiring all pornography to be eliminated from the systems of every public library in South Carolina is ridiculous. As adults, the limitations on what is and what is not pornography should be left up to the individual and not determined by lawmakers. If legisla tors like Courson are that concerned with the access minors will have to pornography at the libraries, perhaps a proposal to support child monitors in libraries would be more appropriate. < SG candidates should provide specific plans Filing for the 2000 Student Government elections has been completed, and in a mild surprise, 10 candidates have chosen to run for the three executive offices (president, vice president and treasurer). No more than seven candidates have run for executive office since the 1996 SG elections. With so many candidates to choose from this year, it’s especial ly important that students pay close attention to where the candi dates stand on important issues, particularly the “hows” and the “whys” behind their stances. It’s easy enough to say that crime and parking need improvement, but brainstorming and implementing specific plans and ideas require far more leadership. Since The Gamecock can’t officially endorse candidates in the SG elections, it’s up to our readers to make informed decisions on each candidate based on what they read and see about the candi dates before the Feb. 17 election. We hope candidates will make our jobs and the readers’jobs easier by supplying us with fresh ideas and taking bold stances on issues, rather than giving the same cookie-cutter statements about the issues that we’ve seen in years past. The Gamecock is the student newspaper of The University of South Carolina and is published Monday, Wednesday and Friday during the fall and spring semesters and nine times during the summer with the exception of university holidays and exam periods. Opinions expressed in The Gamecock are those of the editcrs or author and not those of The University of South Carolina. The Board of Student Publications and Communications is the publisher of The Gamecock. The Department of Student Media is fhe newspaper’s parent organization. The Gamecock is supported in part by student activities fees. The Gamecock 1400 Greene Street Columbia, SC 29208 Offices on third floor of the Russell House. Srvoerr Media Area code 803 Advertising 777-3888 Classified 777-1184 Fax 777-6482 Office 777-3888 Gamecock Area code 803 Editor gckedOsc.edu 777-3914 News gcknewsOsc.edu 777-7726 Viewpoints gamecockviewpointsQhotniail.com 777-7181 Etc. gckfeaturesOyahoo.com 777-3913 Encore! gamecockencoreOhotmail.com 777-3913 Sports gcksportsOsc.edu 777-7182 Online www.gamecock.sc.edu 777-2833 St maws stow Poucr Letters to the editor or guest columns are welcome all members of the Carolina community. Letters (W be 250-300 words. Guest columns should be an ™0n piece of about 600-700 words. Both must include name, phone number, profes siehal title or year and major, if a student. Handwritten su^missions must be personally delivered to Russell House room 333. E-mail submissions must include telephone number for confirmation. The Gamecock reserves the right to edit for libel, style and space. Anonymous letters wilt not be pub fished. Photos are required for guest columnist and can tx provided by the submitter. Call 777-7726 for more information. Ken ley Young Amy Goulding Editor in Chief Travis Lynn Brad Walters Photo Editors Managing Editor Will Gillaspy Brock Vergakis Online Editor Viewpoints Editor Peter Johnson Clayton Kale Asst. Viewpoints Editor News Editor Kelly Haggerty Brandon Larrabee Patrick Rath bun Associate News Editor Asst. News Editors Rebecca Cronican MacKenzie Craven Ann Marie Miani Asst. EtCetera Editor EtCetera Editors Shannon Rooke David Cloninger Asst. Sports Editor Jeff Romig Robert Fleming Sports Editors Asst. Encore Editor Kristin Freestate Charles Prashaw Copy Desk Chief Shawn Singleton Renee Oligny Charlie Wallace Copy Editor Senior Writers Kevin Langston Emily Streyer Encore Editor Editorial Contributor. Student Media Ellen Parsons Business Manager Directa Sherry Holmes Susan King Classified Manager Creative Directa Erik Collins Kris Black Faculty Adviser Julie Burnett Jonathan Dunagin Todd Hooks Graduate Assistant Betsy Martin Robyn Gombar Kathy Van Nostrand Gina McKelvey Creative Services Melissa Mi lien Kenton Watt Brantley Roper Advertising Manager Nicole Russell Carolyn Griffin Advertising Staff College Press Exchange WRE GROWING , W FAST. I l\di-' r m m\ ft l mmm. J to© * W. HOT TOO lOtfc TOMOVl.MWIU. HfilE m. j I TO WO TO VtT ' NOO UKM, HO (TOW, . i m fwws i« m - National Issues Satan front-runner in '00 election As the presi dential race heats up and C-SB^N be gins a yearlong erection, one is left to wonder what the 2000 election would be like if two new candidates were intro duced. The fol lowing tran script is a quasi-fictional account of what mi$it happen if Satan and Jesus ran for the presidency: JENNINGS: We welcome you, ladies and gentlemen, to tonight's edition of ABC's "Nightline." I'm Peter Jen nings, and we are joined this evening by NPR political correspondent Cokie Roberts, former Texas governor Ann Richards and the oldest "living" (Jennings makes quo tation gesture) member of Congress, South Carolina's Strom Thurmond. Welcome, everyone. Cokie, I'd like to start with you ... does it surprise you at all that Satan is running as a Republican when so many thought he would run as an Independent? ROBERTS: To be honest, Peter, it does n't surprise me one bit. Satan is very fis cally conservative and has recently gath ered a lot of respect among NRA supporters in Congress for introducing what he has dubbed "The Kill Bill." If passed, it will give registered gun owners the freedom to legally kill anyone whom they feel might be carrying drugs. Many gun owners, in cluding Charlton Heston, applaud this bill not only for its protection of the Second Amendment, but also because they say it gives them "new ammunition," if you will, in the war on drugs. JENNINGS: A question for you now, Ann. With Satan's aggressive, new attitude, does Jesus have any chance? RICHARDS: Not really, Peter. At a press conference in Iowa on Thursday, Je sus said he wants to increase America's financial commitment to the country's se niors by doubling the current federal fund ing to both Medicare and Social Security. To counter this, Satan introduced his 0 per cent tax plan, which will allow Americans to keep everything they earn. When Jesus heard about Satan's tax plan, he said it was immoral. But frankly, Peter, I think Con servatives all across the country are start ing to see a new side of Satan, and I think they like what they see. JENNINGS: Interesting. Could you talk a little bit, Ann, about foreign policy? RICHARDS: It's interesting that you bring up foreign policy, Peter, because this is yet another area where Satan is winning over more and more voters. Jesus says that if he is elected president, he will cut the entire defense budget and give all the mon ey to the malnourished children of So malia. \tell, Peter, the American people aren't buying that at all - they've seen enough Sally Struthers infomercials to know that it's all a big gimmick. On the other hand, Satan told Larry King on Thursday that if he is elected pres ident, he will make China his personal bitch. He also said he would nuke any coun try that so much as points a satellite at us the wrong way. Peter, the voters love it! They've waited more than half a century since the United States kicked some ass in a real war, and they're hungry for it. And they know that when Satan guarantees death, he delivers. JENNINGS: Wfell, Sen. Thurmond, I know you've been friends with Satan for many years now, and there are rumors that the Prince of Darkness is going to ask you to be his running mate in his bid for the presidency. Any comments? THURMOND: Vifell, as you know, I've been a big fan of Satan's ever since he gave me that idea for the whole slavery thing. Too bad that never worked out... (starts to ramble about the "good ole days") ... Anyway, I agree with Satan on every issue except... (thinks for a minute) dawgonnit, I think I see eye to eye with the o! bastard on pretty much everything. You know, Pe ter, he's my hero. And he's no wussy like Geoigie and Johnny when it comes to the flag issue down here in South Carolina - he thinks it should stay up. By the way (be gins whispering to Jennings), he came up with that whole "heritage" thing. That sure was a good one, huh? JENNINGS: Whatever, Strom. Well, I'm sorry, folks, that's all the time we have for tonight, but be sure to catch the can didates next month when MTV plays host to the first debate of Election 2000 be tween Jesus and Satan. Good night. TO BE CONTINUED... Jeremy Touzel is a math senior. He can be - reached at game* cockview points@hotmaii.c om Letters Gamecock goes global Howdy, folks. Lee Dowdy here from West-by Gawd Virginia reading in the newspaper how Sen. Arthur Ravenel apologized to “retarded folks of the world.” Senator, I accept your apolqgy for myself but don’t believe our trisomic son cares about your quar rel with the National Association for the Advance ment of Colored People over Confederate flags. In times of prosperity, people take any excuse parading for a good time, so flying flags over the Statehouse might occupy them for a while. Any di version is better than going blind watching televi sion or being stupefied by computers. It does look as if all African-Americans are jealous. Is it because they don’t have their own special flag? As a retarded hillbilly, I’m not taken aback by equating me to the NAACP. Black Irish roots might even qualify me as being colored. Of course, we don’t know any black people or white people. Everybody we know is somewhere Ill UCIWWII. Seems right logical that if the good people of South Carolina want to fly that flag, then they ought to be happy that no NAACP member comes to their state. If they think that green African money is more important than local feelings for the flag, well, who’s to say? Money talks, and somebody listening to those dollar bills surely can find a prominent, lofty pole to fly the Confederate flag where people can see it and say, “My granddaddy died for that flag. I’m proud of him, but he and his fellow soldiers were worse off than slaves, and that’s the real reason they were fighting.” Lee!)owdy Binic, France THE WASHINGTON POST “WHAT'S NEW, mFOVT?" Campus Issues Man 'just another animal' It’s Sunday af ternoon, and Oliv er G. Vicarsmith (an "everyman" fabricated for the sole purpose of ex ample) is finally waking up. Uo’c nolriv)- fho former contents of his stomach are crusted onto his clothes and carpet, baby octopi are still frolicking in his stomach, and he feels as if there’s a toreign ooject tug ging in between the lobes of his brain. He’s upset that he’s not waking up in Rita’s bed (or vice versa), and he can’t believe the fight they had at Knock-Knock.. He hopes it’s not too late for he and Rita to patch up their relationship. He has a feeling that it is, though, be cause his left hand is covered with dried blood and there’s skin wedged into the con tours of his high school ring. . Turning on the TV only exacerbates this suspicion. WIS is doing special cov erage on a murder that occurred on the Blossom Street Bridge and the victim was one Rita Morris. Ollie’s eyes bug out and he dry heaves for a few seconds. "I was drunk," he thought to himself. "It’s like that guy who killed his in-laws while sleepwalking," he continues. The excuse always worked in the past. When he urinated on his roommate’s girlfriend while she slept, his roommate foigave him, and when he screwed that girl from the NAEA party, Rita let it go. After all, he was drunk. Why shouldn’t anything be different now? LooKing out ms window ana ooserv ing the motions of those wearing blue and badges, he realized that the excuse would n’t hold. He trudged out into the living room of his Rutledge apartment, and was overcome with relief. Passed out on the couch was one of his flatmates. He was sporting a bro ken nose and the imprint of a Gaffney high class ring on his forehead. After relief was amazement. He was astonished by the ease with which he be lieved that he committed murder. All the talk at church, student government, and ethics classes amounted to nothing. He was basically an animal. The case of this fictional character is n’t an isolated one. With the corrosive power of drugs, sleepwalking, and emo tional distress, the structures we build to pen in the irate animal in our souls quick ly dissolve. Here on a university campus this cor rosion is easily observed, as it is a haven for people who spout such structural rhetoric within the sheltered confines of academe. Speak of order, ethics, and morals. What are they really? Simply put, they’re the laws of a hive. It’s just as brutal as any act of violence. Disrupt the hive, and you’re to be smacked down. Imprisonment is just as brutal as any action that provokes its enactment. I’m not saying that we shouldn’t have prisons, I’m just calling to attention the in herent brutality that permeates any and every human society. I\tkUIDC UUU. WUC1I JUU KAJfv Oi UUilU <U1U see friends, strangers, and people that you don’t particularly like, you’re really see ing symbiotes, competitors, and the first person your symbiote group (pack, fami ly, frat, etc.) will devour if locked in a room for a week with no food. What I’m saying is far from new and close to obvious, but it seems many peo ple have yet realized or accepted this fundamental fact. I’ll apologize for this rant, but I’m sick of hearing others speak of how we are some how above animals. In truth, we’re not. To those people, all I can retort with is a saying by a rather wise man. Man is ".. .just another animal, sometimes bet ter, more often worse than those that walk on all-fours, who, because of his ‘divine spiritual and intellectual development,’ has become the most vicious animal of all." f: Michael DiPresso is an English senior. He can be reached at game cockview points®hotmaihc om