Historical Newspapers of South Carolina

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Page 18 Singleton: Monica as a humidor I ^ "Hookers and pimps, hrats nf all acroc it'c Sonce again time for the only USC student on the FBI's Ten Most Wanted list. If you add his numbers together, you would get a perfect 10. It's the 3-1-6." Thank you, announcer boy. I am writing Shawn Singleton live from the city where Singleton 3:16 crime is kg*1. especial? ly if you're doing it from under a desk at the White House. I have just finished dedicating the newest branch of the liquor store, located in the Georgetown district, replete with a cigar shop and over 500 beers. However, tragedy struck the Singleton World Tour when Monica Lewinsky rejected my offer to hire her on as a humidor. Now, it's time for the moment you've been waiting an entire year for. It's the third annual Monica Lewinsky "U Suck" Awards. Unfortunately, since sports like the WWF have become corporate, this year's event will be sponsored by Hoover Vacuum Cleaners, 'cause nobody does it like you. The first award of our program is the "Animal House" Award, which goes to the New Orleans Saints for their hazing incident during training camp. A few weeks later, Mike Ditka said, "Today, we became a team." If you're Greek, doesn't this sound familiar? The next award of our show, the Marge Schott Memorial "Hitler Wasn't Such A Bad Guy" Award goes to Baltimore Ravens owner Art Modell for saying that if Adolf Hitler were still alive, he would hire him as a head coach. For starters, it's idiotic because Modell is a Russian Jew. Also, can you imagine Hitler as a head coach? The offense would become the Luftwaffe, the defense would become the Gestapo, and the special teams would become the SS. The only thing that could be worse is if Mike McGee hired Robert E. Lee as head coach. If you want further insight into this, read the Drew Carey joke about his phallus in his book, "Dirty Jokes and Beer." Speaking of the "Open mouth, insert foot" theory, the Rocky Mai via "Know Your Role and Shut Your Mouth" Award goes to Reggie White for his speech to the Wisconsin legislature denouncing homosexuals, a speech that took him out of the running for an analyst's job with CBS. Reggie, it's good to have opinions, but you made comments which made you look like an ignorant homophobe and not the intelligent future Hall of Famer we all came to love. * The Brad Scott "Heartless and Gutless" Award goes to Kerry Collins, for deciding he didn't have the heart to play football anymore. Npt only are you a racist and a drunk, but ' you're a quitter, too. No wonder you ended up with the winners of the "Animal House" Award. The Earl Simmons "Vail Done Eaten Long Enough Now, Stop Being Greedy" Award goes to the entire NBA for the lockout that has shortened the season by 32 games. This is nothing more than a disgusting farce based on greed, as if they don't make enough money. Agents have destroyed sports this decade, signing players to huge contracts that drive up ticket prices. Didn't you learn anything from Major League Baseball about what a work stoppage does to the game? If you don't care about the fans, then why should we, as fans, care about you? While we're on the subject of baseball, a dishonorable mention goes to J.D. Drew for sitting out an entire year because he wanted an ungodly signing bonus from the Philadelphia Phillies, L even though he hadn't played an inning of major league ball yet. He is now hated by fans and his ; own peers. Now that he's a Cardinal, he must j produce and prove to the entire league that he is worth all the fuss. The Jack Nicholson "You Can't Handle the Truth" Award goes to Time Magazine. In an online poll, they asked who should be the Man of the Year, and the good people of this nation voted overwhelmingly for pro wrestler Mick Foley. However Time didn't, not think this was accent- I able, so they put two losers like Clinton and Starr on the cover instead. Professional wrestling has captivated more and more people every week, because they're sick of "Melrose Place" and "Ally McBeal." It's about time that Time realized it, too. Can I get a "hell yeah?" Dennis Rodman has become the first threetime winner, as he received the "What the (fox) Were You Thinking" Award for that shameful melee with Carmen Electra. I'm sorry, but you wouldn't have to get me drunk to marry Carmen Electra. Can I get another "hell yeah?" Now it's time for the final award of the evening, the Big Monica, and it goes to the wonderful officials of the NFL, especially referee Phil Luckett, who is personally responsible for the two worst calls of a season that was filled with calls that sucked the chrome off a trailer hitch. I have one question. How do you mess up a coin toss? It's impossible. My baby brother Brandon could execute a coin toss, but Luckett couldn't and it cost Pittsburgh a game and possibly a playoff spot. The next week, his crew was responsible for the horrible call at the end of the Jets-Seahawks game. Everyone in the city of New York knew Vinny Testeverde was nowhere close to the end zone, but Luckett and his crew said he got in. That call not only cost Seattle the game and a playoff spot, but their coach, Dennis f Erickson, lost his job afterward. Maybe you o should lose yours, Phil. I Thank you good people for attending this un- t ceremonious affair this year. If you were not t mentioned, consider yourself lucky and try not to do anything stupid in 1999. 1 (Bail Carolina eques Invitational, ba SPORTS ROUND UP Ellen IV Compiled from staff reports tional tear fall from a Equestrian up. She wi The USC equestrian team, led by EHen The G; Smoak, defeated nine Divsion-I schools to the Tourn; capture tne iyyo in ationai invitational toques- in asnvme, trian Classic held at Irish Oaks Equestrian "With Center, Carolina's facility in Irmo. hoping our Smoak won the Novice Over Fences class 5, Region S with a smooth; well-executed round. "We ar All members of the eight-person team con- region pre: tributed points to the win. The Uf In the open division, Amy Bell was sec- first in Hu ond in the Over Fences class while Jennifer Zone 5, Rej Wood placed second on the Flat. Show Assc Mary Hughston and Lori DuPuis placed fifth and sixth respectively in the Interme- Soccer diate Over Fences and Intermediate on the Carolir Flat classes. Joey Wort The Novice representatives included paignsbyb Smoak in Over Fences and Maria Falgione ing camps 1 on the Flat. ular seasoi Falgione was third in her class. Stacy Ring, a George, the team's captain, was second in the profession; Walk/Trot/Canter division, which gave the tional tear team a three-point lead coming into the final Calif., fron Walk/Trot class. Former Cynthia Peck came through with a third- also partic place finish in this division, which gave USC The bu the win by six points. Miami of Ohio placed ticipate in 1 second with 27 points while Clemson for the rig placed third. Olympics. Otherteams competing in the Classic Freshn were Kentucky, Georgia, Fresno State, Ohio lected to tb State, Tennessee, Florida and Auburn. a spot on This event marked the first show for team, the Gamecocks at their new facility. The te; "The show went extremely well," said USC World Yoi coach Boo Major. FA/Coca-C "Our riders performed well and the rest 24. of the team put in a tremendous effort to The me make the show successftd." er postseas HfSHp ^F \fter hitting a home run, Adam Poe is congratulated b; ngs of Collegiate Baseball. Hogan return by Michael Strickland staked his c senior Writer days. Flair until nWo i It was all a ruse, a hoax, a ploy. Hulk the decisior iogan never planned on a lengthy retire- and Randy nent as many of us expected. Instead, Hogan sure Flair s eunited with former Outsiders Scott Hall via the figi ind Kevin Nash last week in the Georgia the preside Dome to debut a remodeled nWo for 1999. DDP an But before we cover last week's major de- rcade to set elopments from NITRO, let's go back to Star- that Giant t cade and the ensuing NITRO. DDP was ? Billy Kidman retained the Cruiserweight from the tc itle by beating Juvy and Rey Misterio in one score the vi >f the best triple-threat matches ever deliv- tertaining i ;red. There were multiple changes of mo- In the r nentum and displays of teamwork, enough fought vali; o leave any fan in awe. Kidman pinned Ju- the match v ry after landing the 450 splash. Directly side interfe ollowing that thriller, Kidman beat Eddy ferno ran in Duerrero in an impromptu match, with the Bam Bigelo lutside help of Rey Misterio. berg fended After several unannounced and pointless rived weai natches, the heart of Starrcade arrived. Kon- with a cattl ian defeated Chris Jericho with the tequila to take out i unrise to retain his TV title, which, by the a powerbon vay, he would lose to Scott Steiner the next Nash becar light. Following the TV title match, Eric weight Cha lischoff faced Ric Flair in a grudge match of The folk najor proportions. However, in an unlikely cidentally m inish, Bischoff won the match with major apologized utside interference from Flair-hater Curt rcade and o lennig. Hennig tossed Bischoff a set of taped Georgia Dc irass knuckles that he used to K.O. the 13- here's the 1 ime world champ. in Atlanta. Despite that result, Flair would have the Ric Fla ast laugh on NITRO the next night, as he Bischoff ba< necock Sports trian team wi: seball team rc filler, a member of USC's 1997 na- 5S n, suffered a broken wrist after a L horse during the morning warm- L mm 11 be out for six weeks. BtajHmg amecocks have been invited to LjS iment of Champions to be held in the success of this show, we are : Jflj region will allow us to have a Zone Jn I show in the spring," Major said. ^!SS|1mB e waiting for a decision from our 3C equestrian team is currently nt Seat and second in Western in 31 gion 2 of the Intercollegiate Horse ia soccer players Henry Ring and hen each topped off strong cameing invited to national team train- ' ?'*", * based on their play during the reg- t * '* *' goalkeeper, joins 27 collegiate and al under-23 players in a U.S. nan training camp in Chula Vista, v. ' i Jan. 4-17. " ; . Carolina standout Josh Wolff will ipate in the training camp. Ik of the under-23 team will par- USC's Joey Wo the CONCACAF qualifying phase teammate Henr >ht to play in the 2000 Sydney of the National ttt of America (NS lan forward Joey Worthen was se- Academic Awar ie final pool of players looking for bonor the under-20 men's national minimum grade am will participate in the 10th Baseball ith Championships for the FI- rj^e univers ola Cup in Nigeria from April 3- ball team was raj ball. This is theii n s soccer team racked up anoth- Xannei ;on honor by being named as one years ag0 *a'*'' .3 $ * V& ww/JPH, f Ym W J^l ^SfpyB | k|; ' - wWffe ^ ^ B I " ' ^' j| I8p fBIHP. f| | 5 : '"jiHillll If Ijilp i._ INI mm 1 : 4??i^M i his teammates last season. The Gamecocks arc s from shon :areer against BischofFs job for 90 Tony Schiavone; bullied Bischoff around the ring hired referee Ra members attempted to influence call, Bischoff fire< i again. But, the other Horsemen off his executive Savage were on hand to make Miss Elizabeth 1 secured the victory, which he did Goldberg to pull ire-four leg lock. So, Ric Flair is While the Atlar nt of WCW for 90 days. their investigati d Giant faced one another at Star- forcing Liz to di tie a recent feud. Despite the fact prevent his mat otally dominated the entire match, with Hogan insl ible to turn a 'superchokeslam' rat here? Being i >p rope into a diamondcutter to Flair granted N, ictory. Overall, it was a very en- match, natch. So in a stunr nain event, Nash and Goldberg who was suppos* mtlv fnr a snliH 10 minutes. Yet. 'farewell sneerVi' vas marred by controversy as out- title shot against :rence was abundant. Disco In- Buffer's introduc to help Nash, which allowed Bam to embrace Nas w to slip by security. While Gold- parently back to^ I off these two men, Scott Hall ar- ing began in th? ring a security T-shirt armed move, Hogan pc le prod taser. He used the taser finger as the big Goldberg, allowing Nash time for pin and three-< ib and a three-count. Thus, Kevin nWo rejoiced aboi ne the new WCW World Heavy- berg was just be mpion. is where the sho1 wing night on NITRO (which in- An irate Gold iay have been the best ever), Nash confront the cons for the dubious ending at Star- basically being m ffered Goldberg a rematch at the Hall, and Steine: ime on Jan. 4. With that said, ring, not to help )ig news from last week's show join the nWo. T paint| Goldberg b ir opened the show by forcing nWo letters on H :k to the announcing booth with red paint, not bli rts 1998 inked in WBUB M& ;.- '" * ' >* ^Nm*. ? rthen moves in for a steal ag y Ring were invited to attend Soccer Coaches Association CAAVadidas Colleee Team d winners. e is given to teams with a T i-point average. e E ity of South Carolina Base- C liked 15th by Collegiate Base- tl r highest preseason ranking took over the program three s< mm i : J I I ^ I f | | IVjFi 11 u Sean Rayford Photo Editc i No. 15 in the preseason ranfc t-lived r as punishment. He then re- N ndy Anderson. If you'll re- ir I him early this year to show tl power. Later in the show, g, filed charges of stalking on f him away from the arena, ita Police Department did r( on, Nash accused Hogan of ^ earn up this accusation to ^ ch and demanded a match ^ ;ead. Does anyone smell a n the decision-making mood, P' ash's wish and ordered the n ling turn of events, Hogan, 11 gd to be on NITRO to give a ^ to his fans, ended up with a ir Kevin Nash. After Michael w :tions, Scott Hall showed up IV h! With the Outsiders ap- it jether, the pre-match taunt5 ring. In the match's only n ished Nash down with one ; man joyfully accepted the p munt from Hulk. As the jr it their successful ploy, Gold- n ing released from jail. This ^ n got really crazy. [here stormed to the riner to C1 .pirators. As Goldberg was "J anhandled by Hogan, Nash, r, Lex Luger came into the re but to attack Goldberg and P6 he nWo went on to spray- re lack and red and paint the ogan's belt, but this time in jii ick. This concluded a wild th Monday, January 11, 1999 National top 20 Sean Rayford Photo Editor ainst Furman last season. Worthen and national team training camps. The poll was released on Dec. 17. The Gamecocks are among eight Southastern Conference teams in the Top 40 poll. Tie SEC placed six teams in the top 20. "It is a rewarding compliment to our playrs and coaches to be ranked in Collegiate laseball's preseason poll," said Head !oach Ray Tanner. "We are anxious to get be 1999 season underway." Carolina finished with a 44-18 record last Joining the Gamecocks from the SEC are Louisiana State (7th), Alabama (10th), Auburn (12th), Florida (14th), Arkansas (18th), Tennessee (28th), and Mississippi State (39th). Taking the top five positions are Wichita State, Georgia Tech, Southern California, Rice, and Long Beach State. The Gamecocks will start the season against College of Charleston Feb. 6 at newly renovated Sarge Frye Field. , Women s Tennis In the fall ITA National Women's Tennis Rankings, the University of South Carolina claims the No. 21 spot, making the largest jump, 12 spots, of any team in the polls. Individually for the Gamecocks, Celine Regnier holds the No. 5 position, while in doubles, Regnier is ranked No. 38 with her partner, Leigh Eichelberger. Regionally, the Lady Gamecocks claim the No. 4 position behind Duke, Wake Forest and Vanderbilt. Regnier comes in at No. 8, Jennifer | Radman claims the No. 13 spot, Leigh SEichelberger enters at No. 18 and LynnYin Tan holds the No. 23 position. In doubles for Carolina, the team of Reeiner and Eichelbereer is ranked No. 6, and Radman and Mandy Carvalho debut at No.9. i ) Men's Tennis In the ITA National Men's Tennis \ Rankings, the University of South \ Carolina holds the No. 9 spot. I Individually for the Gamecocks, Guillaume Legat receives the No. 12 position, Jerome Jourdon comes in at No. 41 and Olof Akesson debuts at No. 94. ,r In doubles, the duo of Jourdon and Legat enter the polls at No. 16. Regionally, the Gamecocks are ranked No. 1 in the South. etirement iITRO last week in Atlanta. While the endlg wasn't quite what WCW advertised and Al U-i. J__11 -A !11 -AJ11 it; uuiei ixiaLv-iicD wcxt a uu uuii, it win still 3 down as one of the more memorable NIRO's ever. To recap, although Nash won at Star:ade, Hogan is the champ and the nWo is ack with a major dose of deja vu. But this me, Ric Flair is running.WCW and not ischoff. What are the chances they could ay him off like they did Bischoff? ews and Notes... The final ratings tally is t for 1998, and the numbers are not good for fCW. Raw beat NITRO 26-19 with one tie i the head-to-head match-ups. Overall, restling drew a combined 9.2 average while londay Night Football drew a 13.9 average, s lowest ever... The Giant is a lock for the IWF. His contract with WCW is up in Feblary; expect him to be involved with Vince IcMahon by the time of Wrestlemania ... eb. 14 will be a major night for the wrestling idustry. A WWF pay-per-view will be dijctly opposed by WCW on NBC. Filling an BA vacancy, WCW will run the first speal in a deal of six monthly shows. Injury xlates: Scott Hall has a twisted knee, Dean alenko a sprained ankle, and Kidman is habbing a torn rotator cuff. None are ex?cted to miss much, if any, time. Eddy Guerro was involved in a New Year's Eve car icident in which he Reportedly suffered se^ ous injuries to his hip and liver. More on iat and more on Wednesday.