The gamecock. (Columbia, S.C.) 1908-2006, December 04, 1998, Page Page 5, Image 5
The finer
As a student journalist, I often
come across weird stories that
hold newsworthy status.
?H An es
boys^livein
ordeal."
Beer?
Saving someone's life? Well there's something
you don't hear everyday. First off,
don't think for a second that I am an
advocate of alcoholism. Let's get that
clear, else the humor value of the column
will be lost.
According to the article, two young
boys (ages 12 and 15) were fleeing from
some "thugs" and hopped a slow-moving
train. The boys expected the train
to take them back to their hometown
of Hamilton, Ohio. They couldn't have
been any more wrong.
This train, which rescued these kids
from the barbaric hands of a whoopin,'
soon became their own personal temple
of doom. The door shut and locked
itself, leaving the boys trapped for eight
days with no food.
Editorial gave false
impression of SG
To the editor:
Regarding your "Take Our Word"
column of Nov. 30,1 have to take you
to task on several of your statements.
Although I do appreciate that you wish
to inform the students and faculty of
USC as to the doings of Student Government,
I also wish you would get your
facts and story straight.
Although your front page article
seemed to praise the efforts of the SG,
and in particular the Judiciary Committee,
you had a problem with being
excluded from the proceedings of the
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How did these poor suckers survive?
I can feel you shivering with anticipation.
Luckily for these kids, they were
not alone in the cart. There to comfort
them were bottles and bottles of beer,
sure it was stale, but beer.is beer!
Without food, the instincts kicked
in and the boys took to the yeast, barley
and hope for nutritional supplement.
In other words, they drank the beer to
stay alive. Every man's dream was wasted
on two kids in dire need of survival..
The train was heading for the Miller
Brewing Company for the stale beer to
be returned and the bottles destroyed
(calm down guys, they replace it with
all new beer). The boys, in desperation,
knocked back a couple of warm ones.
For eight days, these lightweights
indulged themselves in beer. Can you
imagine the buzz they had? Add their
inexperience and their empty stomachs
and you have one helluva buzz.
I'll bet that cart was stinking something
fierce by the time those youngins
were found. They obviously would havehad
to relieve themselves due to the alcohol
content. The smell, combined with
the smell of stale beer, must have proq
finft miv for a Kaai* WArlrA*?o
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who found the twerps. Does the sound
of this smell sound familiar to you guys?
So what happened here? Beer, the
apparent root of all evil, saved two lives.
So is beer as bad as it seems?
For those of you who are'nt veterans
to the workings of beer, allow me
to slowly describe the process of getting
drunk.
Judiciary Committee while we were
talking with both Susanne Newman
and Blakely Hallman.
Because the Committee meeting on
Nov. 23 started as a public meeting,
J i.1 a 1 i m
ana men enierea into an executive
Session,' as shown in the minutes, the
Judiciary Committee is justified in excluding
the press, or anyone else it sees
fit, from that Executive Session.
Futhermore, if The Gamecock is
so interested in the doings of SG and
the Judiciary Committee, why is it that
this is the first meeting that The Gamecock
has seen fit to send a reporter?
Were the rest just too boring for you?
Furthermore, you stated that your requests
to be present at the meeting were
not noted in the minutes. While I, the
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f alcoholic
"So what happened 1
apparent root of all <
lives. So is beer as ba
You take the bottle or can (preferably
bottle) and raise it to your lips. You ti
drink the contents of the bottle, try- v
ing your best to ignore the taste. Re- ^
member to swallow. Repeat this pro^iiro
covoral fimoc or until tVin Knttln
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is empty. Then grab another bottle and P
repeat the process again (yes, again). s
Slowly, this will become habit, and you
will no longer need to think about it., k
After a few bottles you will need to e
go to the bathroom. This is ordinary. y>
Do not be frightened or discouraged by
the discoloration of ytrnr urine. This, ^
too, is normal.
OK, after a few or several (depending
on your personal threshold), you
will starf to feel "funny." This is
called a buzz. These are good to have.
You feel lightheaded, and you be- t<
come very relaxed (unless you are an b
angry drinker, which is no fun at all), b
This feeling prompts you to indulge b
yourself in more and more beer. The ^
buzz gets stronger. You feel pretty dam gj
good now.
You have now passed the point of
no return, and you feel invincible. This ?
is far from truth. That good feeling I al- "
luded to earlier now becomes a little too h
much for you to handle. You become a tl
bit ill.
clerk of the Judiciary Committee was th
aware of your requests to be at the meet- pi
ing, since we were in executive session, st
I believed that you had no right to be Fi
there. Therefore, your requests had no m
bearing on the task at hand and did not sc
need to be included in the minutes. 11
Furthermore, when I handed a copy 11
of the minutes to the lone Gamecock re- of
porter present after the meeting con- se
eluded, I told him that if he had any of
questions he could contact me. I had no ol
such contact, and, frankly, I am disappointed
in any form of media that would th
not take the time to verify information se
before running a story or column. pr
Also, your claim that the SG is less ci
than interested in keeping students in- w:
formed of their doings is false. Through if
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Phone: 803/256-6666 I
www.usc.bk:
: brew
iere? Beer, the
ivil, saved two
id as it seems?"
Suddenly, you realize that the next
ime you open your mouth, more than
rords will come out. You rush to the
athroom and you dial up Ralph.
In other words, you vomit, upchuck,
uke, hurl, wretch, regurgitate, keck,
pew or blow chunks.
This is a good and bad thing. If you
eep it in, bad things will happen. Howver,
if you do vomit, you have to deal j
dth the taste. Ughhh.
So that, in very short terms, is the \
eer-drinking experience. What hapens
in between the steps is totally j
p to you. I have merely given you the
asics. YouH thank me for this.
To some, beer is a great thing, but J
) others, it is a horrible thing. I can go j
oth ways on this, depending on the ^
rpw nf Hehfltf* Npvprthplpss hppr is
eer. Its critics say it induces people to
o horrible things, but this coin has two - ^
ides. *
The 12-jear-old said jifter his exerience
that he wants to straighten
imself out and go to church now. Amen
) that! A lost soul finds Christ through
le miracle of beer.
I'll drink to that!
The Gamecock *
fear aid major if a an
dude the author's td<
ie use of SG boards throughout cam- li<
as, we have been trying to keep the tr
udents informed as to what we do. m
urthermore, I make an effort to tell 01
any students what the SG is doing, ti<
> I can hear their input on the ideas m
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Dring 10 me aenaie meeungs. wnne in
lave seen Gamecock reporters at many
' the Senate meetings, rarely have I S<
sen them asking questions afterwards co
' the senators who brought bills or res- it
utions to the floor. re
Finally, I must disagree with you cii
sat the Senate is a mockery of repre- vi
ntative democracy and is holding back
ograms that have been passed. The te
irrent Senate has been very active w]
ith the Second Serving program, and ra
any of the staff on The Gamecock be- te:
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Mil
flpWu
:ax: 803/252-0459
str.com
"TERRORISM! ~ HOW AWRJl* I
HI try 10 prim all ktten. Letters should be 250-300 words and must in dude Ad] name, phone number, professional title or
dent Hand written letters must be personally delivered by the author to the kuaadl House room 333- E-mail letters must hipbone
number. The Gamecock reserves the right to edit all letter for style. Ubd or space. Names will never be withheld.
ives the Senate is not a representa- again, I must point out that besides the
ye democracy, perhaps they should distribution of activity fees, the SG is
osey on down to the SG office and find involved in many other programs: block
it for themselves just how the elec- seating for USC sports events (Athon
system on campus works before letics Committee), the Thanksgiving
aking such broad and potentially shuttle service (Student Services Comflammatory
claims. mittee), the review and reform of many
You also state that all the Student of the SG Codes (Judiciary Committee),
mate does is distribute the monies and various multicultural events (Mulllected
from the activity fees, and that ti-Cultural Affairs Committee). And
could be better done by "having two thaf s just off the top of my head. My,
presentatives from each college de- my, what you miss when you don't ask
de how these monies should be di- questions before you go to?press.
ded.
Frankly, I'd rather go with the sys- Patrick Gearman
m in place, the Finance Committee, Computer Science Senior
bich apparently you've overlooked,
ther than place blind faith in a sysm
that hasn't been tested yet. Also,
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