Historical Newspapers of South Carolina

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Yikes. I guess we'll be printing letters from angry members of the species Redneckius erec tus. If they don't shoot us first. Page 2 I "flFuTTr* UHItVD Serving the Carolina EDITOR] Rosalind Harv Kiki McCormicl Marcus Amak< Finding foo 1 x A umicuii uur Granted, there iBMBBTjjfi aren't many students on the USC r, campus in the summer. Few people live HIHmmLi on campus, and Open the C those who take sum- unit mer classes are not inclined to walk about in the oppressive midday heat. There are a few hardy souls, however, who spend great quanti ties 01 time nere m tne warmer months. Student Media, for instance, doesn't shut down when the residence halls close. Neither do most of the university's offices. In fact, there are even a few students who come to Thomas Cooper to read and study, even when they don't have to prepare for a class. Surely, that is a noble endeavor. Break from good for S.< Saturday, for the first time in over dU years, we were nottelevi< spared a televised Miss South Carolina pageant. We hope it i The organization the ail that holds the pageants, Miss South Carolina Inc., found themselves $50,000 short of il A * J 1? i 1 * J me amount required ior a teievisea production. As a result, no confusable little boys were able to turn on their home sets and learn that it is, at least implicitly, acceptable to judge a woman by the shape of her body or face. No impressionable ffe the? Serving the Carolina C The Gamecock is the student newspaper of The Univei Friday during the fall and spring semesters and eight times < exam penods. Opinions expressed in The Gamecock are thosi Carolina. The Board of Student Publications and Communicatii Media is the newspaper's parent organization. in iMnuM Rosalind Harvey Editor in Chief Amy McCo KUd McCormlck Viewpoints Editor Rebecca N Jennifer Stanley News Editor Sarah Garil Marcus Amaker Features Editors Jenifer Stiri Bryan Johnston Sports Editor Student Media EHen Parsons Director of Carolyn Grl Student Med,a Jlm Lee Phippe Advertising Manager Ehk CoUm Sherry F. Holmes Classified Ad Manager ; V] amccodt Community since 1908 [AL BOARD ey, Editor in Chief k, Viewpoints Editor sr, Features Editor d on campus ing summer TTTrnHBHl When these ummerbasfew summer people get though> they are out of luck. LiUuHH During Summer IMP, arid tbey One, the Grand f come. Marketplace closed down after lunch, leaving only Chick-Fil-A open for the afternoon. Those who couldn't eat chicken had to leave campus to find food. Now, it seems that ChickFil-A isn't open at all, and the Grand Marketplace is closing at 6 p.m., which means evening studiers can't grab a quick meal. We know it isn't very profitable to stay open for few customers. But maybe, if it was easier to get food on campus, more people would come to use the available learning facilities and eat as well. l pageant n. children rnrraBMHl little girls learned to SSr fear that their bodies jf. and faces would someday be graded hUUSiM on some point sysvtt remain off tem. rforever. What a shame. We missed ogling the physique of the new Miss South Carolina Wendy Willis, whose father told The State that she rose at 4:30 a.m. for the first of two workout sessions to make her body acceDtable to the iudees. It's too bad that the children of South Carolina didn't get this chance to set their priorities straight this year. imccocti mill ommunity since 1908 sity of South Carolina and is published Monday. Wednesday and luring the summer with the exception of university holidays and e of the editors or author and not those of The University of South ons is the publisher of The Gamecock. The Department of Student All numbers area code 803 rmlck Photo Editor The Gamecock 'htte Mine Editor Edltor Viewpoints 777-7726 raid! Copy Editors News 777-7726 ty Etc. 777-3913 Sports 777-7182 On-line 777-2833 ffln Business Manager Student Media Creative Director Advertising 777-1184 _ Classifieds 777-1184 i Faculty Advisor fgx 777-6482 Office 777-3888 [Ewpoir me aamecocK 01! ^ ReSuCTiNS inlOA "HtTS" OK TM6 VK '?%?v www. coclicvcyk Redneckius The South has a question for a m new era: the Redneck Question. This ii question asks how we can help them pi ? to join the fr | human race. I Redneckius t? I erectus has fc HBH idH much in tc I common fe Ml sapiens, as g, IwW the physical ft F W^i differences w KM McCOmmlcK ^Cperf?$ ? Viewpoints Editor and can be w corrected unless they are the result of inbreed- a; ing, but the behavioral differences ^ are vast. Now, my regular readers know ^ I'm not one to go off on sarcastic , tirades, but hear me out. I've got a good reason for this one. But before I explain, allow me to point out that it is okay to denigrate ^ any group of Southerners (particu- . larly white ones). We're the last hope ja of the closet intolerants, the liberal, PC "elite" of our country, as evidenced ei i~. * ? ^4- \T/v.? tl uy a iCLCiit wvci ui uxc nc*v York Times. S( This story attempted to show that bi South Carolina has institutionalized bi gay hatred by citing a few individual 111 incidents in which nuts spouted off The reporter declared the lot of us to tr be bigots. (No, I'm not kidding). 01 Imagine what would happen if a rs <- i j: i k. reporter wno was unnuiy prejuuiteu u? against blacks (as this reporter certainly was against Southerners) ni declared that all black people were T1 TO lEmtl WWCHW ||||^ vje^^ VlUlON , SiTS, WWW* 4o.m r ra 'io.com www.poof c 5 erectus li turderers based on a few isolated tridents. The story would not be tinted, much less given space on the ont page of the New York Times. And so, since Rednecks are certin white Southerners, it's alright ir me to "disrespect" them, according ) modern mores. And uod Knows l sel the need to do so. This weekend, my ex-boyfriend it married. I gave myself more than ve hours to get to Pawleys Island, here the wedding was held. It usully takes me only three hours, so I ad plenty of time to sabotage the hole thing if need be. Turns out, I got to the church just 3 the bride and groom were leaving, ednecks had delayed me. I spent two hours in Conway on le same five-mile stretch. After ressing and putting on my makeup i my car (to the amusement of other avelers, I'm sure), I decided that it ould be best to take a detour, so I idn't discover the cause of the traffic m until later. The cause, according to my parits. whom it took six hours to ?ret to le beach from Columbia, was some >rt of racing event. That's right, a onch of morons who like to watch gger morons in souped up cars kept ie from getting to a wedding. Apparently, they were having ouble getting their own cars in and it of the parking lot serving the icetrack, because of all the beer and ier Denies in ine way. No human being would inconvelence others for the sake of racing, tierefore rednecks (and all racing "The stadium is going to be ... more of a finished product." USC Head Softball fcodch Joyce Compton Wednesday^ul^5^998 $<56 B(QTiNQ -QLLOW-tJPQr FgfeD'lNG .Com VPANTS.Co -.allege press EXCHANGE ves in S.C. fans are rednecks) cannot truly be a member of our species. Of course, even with the traffic jam, I wouldn't have missed seeing him crpf mnrripd if Prntestflnts didn't have these quickie weddings. (It's okay to talk nasty about any Christians, but stay away from Eastern religions, which are "in"). If I had walked in 20 minutes late to a Catholic wedding, they'd just be getting warmed up. But back to the redneck problem. What is to be done about such (among other things) inconsiderate people? I polled some of the Gamecock staffers for suggestions. One senior writer thought it might help to cut the mudflaps off them. Apparently "mudflaps" are the stringy growths that cover their (presumably red) necks. Fm not sure that would do much for their personalities, but it would improve the view. An editor suggested that those who dwell in trailers put their sprinklers on their tin roofs. She says that this is the best way to cool off mobile homes. This is a great suggestion, as heat breeds violence, and rednecks are prone to committing violent crimes. Cooler trailers make for cooler tempers. Naturally, I'm all for deporting NASCAR fans. That would clean up our fair state. We could also announce the end of the Civil War norinHirallu fnr thnep whn havpn'f heard. Maybe then they'll take down their Confederate battle flags. In the meantime, we should hold town meetings to address the question.