Historical Newspapers of South Carolina

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Au&ust 15-23 PAROUNA f* T?AO/lifir* PvnAriPfir-Pi DurVt A A i w wh ^ iviivv tn/iuiuj i\i?n /mi pus Recreation Open House Cookout Service at Carolina: Office of Communi s Fair Welcome Back Concert Welcome rship RHA Hall Government Socials s information, check the Carolina Welcome < Welcome Back issue of The Gamecock in Aug more information on events, call 777-8182. rtanrt if SMeat Life Dhrisioe if SMeat aed Akmei Services Rre/raMS ate sahfect to change. le perfect Ll 1 >11. mat win; ) help with tuition? sy class schedule? >iness experience? u! he United jor companies iuth Carolina. last I! j customer service irt-time positions, a thriving industry. WAIIING PUR YOU! IND behalf of our clients. LLING! red, but enthusiasm competitive bonus ons should contact 832-7056 sportunities. lities! . AS Welcome Cookout and Volleyball with tv .Service Proerams J 0 Fest/Hip Hoppalooza And Much More... iuide ust. v V IE\ Page 4 The Gamecock Evil hooks innocent si in book bu Richard M. Gregg Columnist Now that summertime is fast approaching, the USC administration (motto: If we can't do something right, we'll do it wrong) will once again try and address some of those pesky problems which affect students. Unfortunately, they work slower than the computers in the Darla Moore School of Business, located in the Francis Hipp and William Close buildings, containing the Elmer Fudd memorial bathroom stall. Therefore, Fve decided to tackle some of the pressing issues which Fm sure are on the minds of all three of you Maymester students. After carefully surveying a representative cross-section of students over a mean game of quarters at Sharky's, the most immediate problem faced today is the free distribution of Viagra by the school infirmary. Ha. Ha. Ha. Just kidding. Of course none of us male students would ever need this, right ladies. Ladies? Anyway, what I'm really talking about is the strange and mysterious problem of the devaluation of textbooks. This phenomenon occurs when a textbook, which you have purchased for the same amount as the gross national product of several third world countries, becomes, after one semester, virtually worthless when you try to sell it back. I recently experienced this for myself when I tried to sell back a $90 accounting textbook at one of the bookstores and was offered $6 for it. The rest of the conversation went something like this: Me: "No, really, what will you give me for it?" Book Store Employee (looking like something spawned by Godzilla): "You want it or not. (Burp!) The price goes down in five minutes." Me: "But I paid $90 for it, and didn't even use it. Plus I need that money to continue my sick grandmother's dialysis." Book Store Employee: "(Burp!) You're breaking my heart kid." Me: "Til break your #%&$ heart, and stop emitting those noxious fumes. Arrgh!" I learned a valuable lesson from this encounter : never deal with someone eating a garlic and refried bean sandwich. With this incident behind me, I decided to get to the bottom of this. In my capacity as a journalist, I attempted to interview ' several bookstore managers. ^POINTS U/mlnacHsu lima 1A 1 QQQ VWlNIVMHJy #HII19 tores scam tudents ybacks From this I have determined two things. First, these people have a collective IQ lower than bait. One manager I walked in on was watching a rerun of South Park and yelling at the screen, "Watch out, Kenny. Oh, no, I didn't see that coming." Second, they have morals much lower than the average human, or anv other sDecies. save attornevs. They fed me every excuse in the book, from (and I am not making this up) the book has not yet been reordered by the school, try back in August (how many students can find the same pair of underwear, much less textbooks, after summer), to the economic chaos in Indonesia has depressed the book market. So I was forced to contact my super secret, undercover bookstore source who told me, "The answer is held in the oval office tapes." Oops, wrong source. The bookstore source informed me that there is one reason, pure and simple, known as the law of supply and demand. Students have very few choices with these books as they can take what the bookstore offers them or use the book to even out their couch and kitchen table. I also investigated the bookstore that guarantees to give back 50% of the purchase price of the book if you buy it there. Now this is true, so long as you return it within two days after the semester is over, keep twenty annoying stickers on your book all semester long (I'm sorry Professor, I couldn'f A f\ mir V? nm mirnrlr KnnnnnA f kn u i? uu 111 j iiumcTTuiii uuvausc tiic stickers were in the way) and wait in lines longer than those at most attractions at Disney World. So what can we, as students, do to rectify this injustice? Should we file a lawsuit like Latrell Spreewell seeking money for a violation of our civil rights? Nah, that wouldn't work unless we first went out and choked the bookstore managers. By looking at them, that wouldn't be a good idea for our health.Instead I propose students act in the true American spirit (cue patriotic music). Unshackle those chains that bind us to the stores. Refuse to sell back the books until there is offered a fair and equitable price. Rise up and demand nude volleyball for all students on the Horseshoe. While you're doing this, Fm going to get my $6 and get a pitcher of Bud in Five Points.