The gamecock. (Columbia, S.C.) 1908-2006, April 24, 1998, Page 5, Image 5
Jars of Clay w/ Plumb, 8 p.m.,
April 24, Township Auditorium. Tickets
cost $18.50 (reserved) and are
on sale at the Auditorium Box Office
and all Capital Ticket outlets. 2512222.
Friday, April 24, 1998
' Pucker t\
college press EXCHANGE 3
(
You're in France. Someone introduces you
to a French friend. Do you shake hands, i
kiss on the cheek twice, kiss on the cheek ?
four times, or employ a "French kiss?" j
^ And what if you're meeting someone of the }
w opposite sex? For the first time? In the rain? On t
a train? c
How France ever became famous for the \
sight of people locked at the hps, each trying to
take throat cultures with their tongues, is one j
of the great mysteries of the modern era. Sure, j
the French kiss a lot, but the standard, every- j
day "French kiss" is about as passionate as a t
Boy Scout salute, and as erotic as plywood un- j
derwear. It wouldn't be considered foreplay in t
TTi?1. 1
uian.
The French kiss I'm talking about is that ,
0 phony air-kiss: You sort of touch cheeks while
you make a "kissing sound," something that is *
always confused me because I've never ~ not
even on late-night cable television - heard anyone
make this sound while kissing. <
The trick, as far as tourists in France are .
concerned, is knowing what kind of air-kiss to
give to whom, and when. (
In a French work environment it's simple.
There's no kissing, except once at New Year's.
Otherwise, everyone shakes hands with everyone
else every single day. The tricky part, for *
A those at a big office, is to remember who you
shook hands with. 5
It's actually common for workers to pass
each other in the hall each afternoon and stop *
to think if they have shaken hands yet that day. 1
"Have we shaken?" one will ask. "I forget," the 1
other will say. So they shake, just to be sure. [
Step into a social setting, and things get a i
little more complex. As it turns out, there's a <
strict kissing protocol but no one will ever tell
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rou what it is. So you're left trying to follow the |
)ther air-kisser's lead. |
This can be difficult because, unlike danc- |
ng, your partner will not give you any clues
ibout what comes next. One second you're workng
on your air-kissing sound and side-to-side
lead bobbing on a four-cheek kiss and the next f
;hing you know the other person (a two:heeker)
has finished and has already pulled
lack to watch you kiss "Big Air."
The number of air kisses varies by region,
n the South of France, they air kiss three times,
n the north, it's fdur times, except Paris, which
s twice ... unless someone is going on a long
rip, in which case it could be three or four times,
n the rest of France, they generally air kiss
wice.
And here's a tough one: Should you initiate
lir-kissing on their right or left cheek? This delends
on the person you're kissing. It's best to
vait and see what the other person is going to q
lo. You have to proceed, as if playing a game of t,
:hicken, straight at a person with your hps in d
'kissing-sound position," and hope that the R
rissee will swerve to one side before you plant
me on their hps. p
However, occasionally, in trying to avoid a
Tontal collision, the kissee may overcompen- ^
sate in the turn, leaving your nose imbedded in
;heir ear. &
For women in France, the rules are pretty c
simple. In a social setting, they almost always g
riss both men and women. The only reason not g
;o kiss, other than having a contagious skin
"ash on your face (although, as far as the French r
ire concerned, this would not necessarily rule ^
nit kissing), is if you are an older woman being j.
ntroduced to a much younger man. In which a
;ase, you just jump into bed with him. s
It's a little more complex for guys. French
piys shake hands when they meet other guys, t
lut there are some guys you should kiss. I'm
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The Gamecock
before le
< ??,
jeft) The great symbol of Paris might better be a pai
ower. (Photo courtesy of Rail Europe). (Above) As f
ining out in France, you don't have to kiss the waiti
oom in Paris by R. Mathieu, French Government Tc
Lot kidding. You don't kiss on the lips the way w
loris Yeltsin does when he meets Arafat, how- tl
ver. You just air kiss. This occurs when meet- e1
og male relatives and very close male friends a
ou haven't seen for a while. And you may al- k
o kiss your regular male friends on special oc- e'
asions, such as birthdays. These male-to-male ti
lir kisses should involve only low-level kissing
ounds. E
The first time French guys started kissing h
ne (during a New Year's party at a friend's place a
0 Grenoble), I was suddenly very aware of who o1
tad shaved and who had not. Given the un- si
ivoidable choice, I prefer kissing cleanhaven
men. b
More odd, however, was the kissing that 01
ook place at the rowing club I briefly joined d
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; Page 5
aving for France
V.ULLLUC I"IVCOC5 LAV.nAi^VJE
s
lr of lips than the Eiffel
ar as I could tell, if you're lip
:rs. (Photo of Angelina Tea
hile living in Grenoble. I saw
lis same group of people
very day, yet I had to shake ~ ojlite
iss all the women first thing
very time I showed up for
iderable amount of time.
While the German and Austrian rowers were It's like this for every sport. Those five minusy
warming up, here we were calling legions utes of French greetings per day equal 30 hours
f dogs with all our kissing sounds. And this per year. No wonder the French don't fare very
oesn't just apply to rowing. well in international competition!
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