The gamecock. (Columbia, S.C.) 1908-2006, April 11, 1996, Page 4, Image 4
4
Small-town
dating scary
proposition
Recently,
DREW on a trip to my
hometown of
Summerton
(pop. 975), I
encountered a female friend of mine in
a local dining establishment. I asked if
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declined because her boyfriend, Lonnie
Bob, might spot us and replace my teeth
with my toenails.
This brings me to the subject of this
week's column: small-town dating.
For most big city people, talking to
a person of the opposite sex on the street
is about as common as telling a lie on
Capitol Hill. But where I come from (and
I know Fm not the only one at Carolina
who hails from a small town), if a good
ol' boy like me speaks to a good oF gal
on the street, you can bet your
monogrammed belt buckle people are
gonna put you together like Andy Taylor
and Helen Crump.
In Columbia, if a guy and a gal have
dinner together as FRIENDS, it is seen
as such. Where I come from, it's not a
good idea to get attached to your class
ring because that joker isn't going home
with you.
Thats not to say small-town women
are fast. It's just Southern small-town
women like to have commitment. And
they have big, mean daddies to back
them up.
If you think a campus meter maid
is mean, just try messing around with
a Southern small-town girl's affections
and let her daddy find out. If s about as
safe as chewing on a chain saw.
I once tried it If you think the dorm
beds are hard on your back, just try
having a double-barreled Winchester
12-gauge shotgun rammed into your
spinal cord.
Breaking up is hard to do in any
situation, but the aftermath is especially
hard in a small town. Up here in
Columbia, if you break up with your
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friends know ajbout it. Plus, after about
a week or so, it becomes old news and
you usually meet a new one at a fraternity
party or something.
In a small town, if you break up with
someone, you had best take out an ad
in the local newspaper so everyone will
get the whole story (from your side) at
the same time. Otherwise, everyone will
come up to you for months after the
breakup and say either, "Boy, she sure
got rid of your tail," or "Man, what did
you get rid of her for?"
You see, no one wants to believe it
was a mutual breakup. There's no drama
in it. How many great football games
have you ever heard of that ended in a
tie?
However, it is your duty to spread
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you were the one who dumped the other
person, or everyone is going to look at
you like you are the sorriest soul that
ever walked the face of the earth.
They'll sit there and say, "Look at
of Sam. I heard Betsy dropped him like
a bad habit. Til bet he's feelin' about as
low as a hookworm in a latrine."
However, if you make it look like you
did the dumping and were not the
dumped, everyone will say, "Man, that
Sam is a good ol' boy, gettin' rid of her
that way. He got shed of her like a
Playboy bunny gets shed of her clothes."
Small-town dating is really not as
hard as it seems. Just remember
commitment is the No. 1 thing, and
daddies like boys who remember it.
GAMECOCK READERS:
Let us know how you
fool ahniit ciirront
IKVI UMWU1 UUII Will
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TO THE EDITOR
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Keeping you
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what others think.
THE
PUMABOMBER Zll
CHIEFLY KNOWN FOR BLOWING GENE
UP MOUNTAIN LIONS. THE PUB
HIS MOTTO: PURSUI
"THEY'RE AM ENOAMSEREO A
SPECIES NOW, BY GOD!"
ZIM
THE
LUNABOMBER EN
WANTS TO DESTROY THE MOON SADLY
IN ORDER TO CONTROL VALIAI
WEREWOLF POPULATION. Wl
Nt
Jaion 4-96 (c)1996 The Gamtcoci.
QUOTE, UNQUOTE
"What upset me is that 1
my record. They didn't g
Brian Comer, responding to actior
Liberals oppc
I am now down to my final two
articles as a columnist for The
Gamecock. In these final articles I am
going to provide some sort of conclusion
to my weekly commentary. Next week,
I will travel the high road and provide
an optimistic outlook for the future
and what I believe conservation has
to offer America in the coming years.
This week, I am going to stray a bit
from my usual "good nature"
commentary. I must, for once, express
my truest feelings about liberalism
and everything it stands for.
This column will probably rub some
xi t i i ? n
me wrong way. 1 realize speamng rrom
the heart gets many a conservative in
trouble with the liberal media and its
hypocritical supporters. Nevertheless,
I don't mind being lumped in there
with Newt Gingrich, Pat Buchanan,
Rush Iimbaugh and everyone else who
is willing to tell the truth.
I have noticed a recent trend in the
liberal media. It has become much
more "vicious" than normal. I believe
they may fear losing their last strain
of power in Bill Clinton. What will
liberals do for the next several years
if the GOP controls the executive and
legislative branches as well as most of
the state governments? Maybe they
will flee to Canada, although they would
be more welcome in China!
Nonetheless, I am tired of the
arrogance, the flat-out lying and the
religious bigotry so may liberals spout.
Rush Limbaugh often says liberals
have downright "evil" intentions. I have
developed a strong association between
liberalism, irresponsibility and sin. I
think there is much justification for
an analogous relationship between
LETTERS TO THE EDITOR
Biblical positic
In response to Kirk Whitworth's
letter to the editor (March 27,1996),
I must say there are some fundamental
ideas Mr. Whitworth did not consider.
Carson Bush, while I disagree with
him on many issues, expressed his
opinion based on interpretation of a
biblical story. One thing I clearly
remember from years of Sunday school
when I was young was the importance
f 4.1 c :?4,
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were taught that we should read them
and then find how they apply to our
own lives. To opine that Mr. Bush is
incorrect is to deny him his right to
interpret the Scriptures in relation to
his own life.
It is inconceivable to me how
someone can deny the usefulness of
interpreting the Bible. One must
consider that the Bible has been through
a number of translations between
languages and that some of the meaning
may have been lost. This is the reason
we must search for meaning within.
The different meanings of the Bible
are apparent even if you read a passage
from the Good News Bible and compare
it to the King James Edition.
Mr. Whitworth, in his condemnation
of homosexuality, cited the story of
Sodom, where a city was destroyed
"because of an attempted homosexual
gang rape on several 'men' from
heaven." This story has many different
interpretations, and one of them even
considers the story of Sodom as a
condemnation of the inhospitality of
its residents.
THE THE
AABOMBER TUNABOMBE
RALLY UNHEARD OF BY ANOTHER ANTI-FISH ACTIV
LIC AND NOT VIGOROUSLY HE'S NOT TRYING TO PROTI
:D BY THE AUTHORITIES, DOLPHINS; HE JUST HATES T
S HIS ONLY MAJOR
TARGETS ARE
A BOTTLING PLANTS.
THE THE
TABOMBER HOOTIEBOMB
UNSUCCESSFUL IN HIS OK, WE ADMIT IT. THIS
NT EFFORTS TO RID THE ONE'S JUST WISHFUL
3RLD OF THE HATED THINKING.
!W A6E COMPOSER.
they (College Republicans) ne\
[ive me a chance to respond t<
nublic stand."
is taken by the College Republicans during his electii
)sed to any typ<
those terms. I tommy I t]
Liberals | touchberry | ?
are opposed to le
any type of tl
morality. They don't want children to V
grow up to be good, moral human w
beings. They want America to be filled vv
with promiscuity, illegitimacy, ei
homosexuality, broken families, alcohol ni
and drug use, abortion, profanity, S(
pornography, racial prejudice, class p
warfare, Med education, less economic (j
opportunity, higher taxes and an w
expanded role for the federal $
government. a
I believe liberals derive their
pleasure from holding as many cc
Americans hostage to their intrusive m
federal government and its related ^
social programs. They don't want a]
individual Americans to prosper, to ^
succeed, to build strong families and, ^
most of all, they don't want Americans
to obey the word of God. Liberals are
opposed to the Bible. This same Bible, ^
which represents the basic values of
Protestants, Catholics, Jews, Mormons &
1 il T 1 1 1 01
replied that I did not appreciate being ar
called stupid, and my logic for my M
response went as such: he calls I'i
something I do stupid, I continue to re;
do it, he is indirectly calling me stupid, ac
By the same token, Mr. Whitworth, fiv
you are indirectly calling homosexuals op
evil. to
And finally, in the last segment of na
Mr. Whitworth's letter, he praised the so
"success" of "homosexual recovery ad
groups." These groups advocate a re;
practice known as "reparative therapy,"
which the American Psychiatric de
Association has deemed tantamount pe
to brainwashing. Christian he
fundamentalist groups spout success ini
rates for reparative therapy on the in]
order of 99 percent, which is true when
they look at their cases six months
after this process. However, an ABC
news investigation in the late 1980s
looked at subjects five years after this
ana otner major religions, is prommtea ?
by the very laws liberals have created. Ju
I know some day these liberals will
face the judgment of God, and all I can
say is I wouldn't want to be in their a*
shoes! re
I think it would be appropriate for ^
me to define exactly what a "liberal" be
constitutes in this context of which I bj
speak. I am not writing about or
"independents," "moderate" or as
"conservative" Democrats or those ar
individuals who fall on the liberal side go
on a few issues. et
I am writing about "hard-core" ca
liberals. These "hard-core" liberals are D<
)n on homosexu
Mr. Whitworth's other points of s 1
Mr. Bush that disturb me on the nature he
of homosexuals include, 1 believe there ra
is no such thing as a homosexual, only 1
those who, through satanic deception
are made to believe they are gay....I CI
am not saying that homosexuals are P(
evil or satanic." While your opinion of
the origins of homosexuality disturb
me, you are free to believe them, and
I support your right to voice such an ^
opinion. However, your logic in the
latter half of this quote is flawed. I JH
remember when my father found out
I smoked; he told me it was one of the
stupidest things I could do. I flatly do
THE
R HULABOMBER
1ST. MOTIVATION UNKNOWN, BUT
ECT THE GRASS SKIRT OFTEN
UNA. GIVES HIM AWAY.
THE
ER ROOTY-TOOTY
FRESH & FRUITY
BOMBER
SICK, SICK INDIVIDUAL WHO
TARGETS THE INTERNATIONAL
HOUSE OF PANCAKES.
SO FAR HE HAS ONLY
CAUSED SOME GREASE FIRES.
rer called and distorted
) them before taking a
xjut how terrible "hard-core" liberals
sally are, but I believe most of you
ready know this. I hope you will not
i fooled in the upcoming campaign
r Bill Clinton. He is not a conservative
a moderate. He knows he can't win
i a liberal in a race between himself
id Dole. If Americans will only use
od judgment and reject Mr. Clinton's
npty promises and reject any third
ndidate (Perot, Buchanan, etc.), then
Die will win in a landslide.
ality debated
apposed "cure" from their
imosexuality. They found the success
te ot reparative therapy was actually
to 2 percent.
tiristian F. Duncan
ilitical Science Junior
Computers log
rivate work
Recently, I viewed several
cuments that had students' names
id social security numbers on them,
ost of them were for English classes,
n assuming many students don't
alize Word Perfect saves all documents
itomatically on the hard drive every
e or 10 minutes. This leaves the door
en for anybody from off the street
go to the computer lab and get your
ime and social security number (and
metimes phone numbers and
[dresses for those of you who write
sumes on Word Perfect).
I would highly suggest everyone
ilete these files before leaving. I
rsonally have heard of too many
irror stories from unsuspecting
dividuals to ever leave my personal
formation open to the public.
Thomas Weber
Exercise Science
on bid for the Board of Trustees
s of morality
lie types who viciously attack
aiservatives. These liberals are solidly
ift on eveiy issue of the day. They are
he types who loathe George
Washington but welcome Fidel Castro
ith open arms. They are the types
ho tell you not to eat popcorn but
acourage you to use marijuana. They
? i.l__ j _1 11 i
re uie types wno cau everyone a racist,
sxist and bigot but support racial
rejudices and openly attack the
hristian religion. They are the type
ho say they support tolerance, but
ley refuse to tolerate anyone who is
conservative.
According to these liberals,
inservatives are right-wing extremists,
ioderates are conservatives and liberals
"e moderates. I believe conservatives
re conservatives and liberals are
berals. I believe their logic proves
ley lack any sort of common sense.
1 fact, the real difference between
inservation and liberalism is exactly
lis: conservatives use good judgment,
>od intentions and common sense to
ride them, while liberals use bad
dgment, bad intentions and severely
ck common sense in decision making.
Tn rnnrlnsinn T rnnlH ramhlp nn
ns
Serving
Wendy Hudsc
Tina Morgan,
Edtto
Chris Dixon, Martha Hotop, Karen Layr
Ryan Sims, Stephanie Sonnenfeld, Cece
Lost electic
bigger loss
Brian Comer, USC's
best chance for a voting
student member on the Comer'.
Board of Trustees, has lost Board
the election. This is a big ?
deal.
Why is this such a big BTfTl
deal? Simply put, USC's
College Republicans issued 0
a statement denouncing '
Comer because he slanted
toward the liberal/
Democratic side of the spectrum.
What they failed to realize is that
their actions may have swayed
lawmakers toward Comer's opposition,
a self-proclaimed Democrat. Is there
irony in this or what?
Another point of contention in
the actions of the College Republicans
is that they didn't even attempt to
meet with Comer before issuing their
statement. With this election, USC
could have placed a student into a
power position with the Board of
Trustees. Whatever their agenda,
I
LETTERS TO THE EDITOR
Historical co
to interpret S
This is in response to Kirk
Whitworth's letter ("Acceptance of
homosexuality contradicts biblical
morality") of March 27,1996.
Kirk, as far as the story of David
and Jonathan goes, I doubt there is any
sure way of knowing whether they had
sex or not. But they did kiss each other
(1 Sam 20:41), and David has this to
say at Jonathan's death, "Very dear you
were to me, your love to me more
wonderful than the love of a woman"
(2 Sam 1:26, Jerusalem Bible). In today's
homophobic society, such a tender
expression of love between two men
would be rather "suspect" don't you
think?
And yes, Kirk, there is no denying
the feet that Leviticus 18:22 calls a "man
lying with another man as a woman"
detestable (or an abomination or
unclean...depends on the translation).
But the next time you meet a woman,
make sure she is not going through her
periods, for according to the Levitical
texts, a menstruating woman is
"unclean." And remember that wearing
blended cotton clothing, or polyester,
or eating shell-fish are also
"abominations."
I could go on about the Romans and
Corinthians and the Sodom story (none
of the biblical references to Sodom's sin
mention homosexuality - look them
up!), but it all depends on how one
perceives Sacred Scripture.
As a committed Roman Catholic, I
believe the Bible is the inspired Word
of God, but elevating the Bible to the
level of God - that is idolatry. The Bible
wasn't delivered complete with leather
binding and gold-inlaid titles on a silver
platter - it is a collection of books that
has accreted over centuries and, though
divinely inspired, was written by human
beings bound to their own time and
world view. Nor was the Bible written
in late 20th century English. It is very
dangerous to interpret the Bible without
taking into account the historical context
of the passages. Recall that the Scripture
has been used to justify all kinds of
things that we regard as immoral and
unethical today, such as slavery, anti
\LJtJIIIU4JU\
Student Media Russell House-USC* C
Wendy Hudson Robbie Meek
Editor in Chief Matt Pruitt
Tina Morgan Editors
Viewpoints Editor Allison
Martha Hotop Williams
Cece von Kolnitz ProJecLs
News Editors Karen Layne
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Stephanie McLendon
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Graphics Editor
The Gamecock is the student newspaper of the
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Opinions expressed in The Gamecock are those of the
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Thursday, April 11,1996
Aock
use Since 1908
>n, Editor in Chief
, Viewpoints Editor
rial Board
le, Robbie Meek, Tyson Pettigrew, Matt Pruitt
von Kolnitz, Robert Walton, Allison Williams
N?ON 1
in fnr Hnmnr
w mm m w v w w
for Carolina
the College Republicans,
being a student
s loss in the organization, could have
of Trustees benefited by having one
ection ?f their own on the board.
Now that the
election is over, we, as
r's loss is students, can only wait
C's loss an(* hope that either
Comer will someday get
another chance or that
someone else will get a shot.
Perhaps the most ironic part of
the election is that partisan politics
have gotten in the middle of an
education issue.
The people running, and those
with a political stake like the College
Republicans, often claim to want
what is best for the state. But when
it comes down to crunch time, these
are the people who cry foul over the
political issues and fail to actually
do what is best to improve higher
education.
ntext needed
Scripture
Semitism, oppression of women and
white supremacy. Until the late '60s,
interracial marriages were illegal in
this state because they were "clearly
against biblical morality and the laws
of nature."
However, I sense that such argument
and debate is futile against your stated
belief that "no one really is homosexual"
What can one say against such an open
mind! We poor deluded souls, what we
really need is the right woman/man or
a good shrink or a faith healer, and well
be cured of our satanic ways. Kirk, your
ignorance shines through, and I find
your denial of the reality of our feelings
amusing at the very least, if not
aownngnt insulting. 1 asx you, wnat
basis do you have for denying the
emotions and life experiences of millions
of lesbians and gay men around the
world? How many gay people do you
know personally, to speak so confidently
on our behalf? As for these so-called
"ex-gay" ministries, I recommend to you
Mel White's book "Stranger at the Gate,"
written by a former "ex-gay" racketeer
himself. It's available in the library.
Kirk, I do believe that Jesus loves
me, and there is freedom. Freedom from
self-hatred, ignorance, fear, misery.
agony, oppression and the death of the
closet. It is precisely because God loves
me as I am that I am openly gay. My
experience of God hasn't been "I will
love you if..." It's simply "I love you."
Which is not to say that there isn't sin
or that we are perfect - just that our
gayness is NOT the root cause of our
sin. And such a profound, unconditional
love can only be responded to by love,
for God and for one another, that is what
discipleship is about - loving as God
loves, being a witness to God's love in
the world.
But I forget -1 am a poor deluded
soul, ensnared by the devil, the very
mouthpiece of Satan. Forgive me, Kirk,
if I find it a little hard to believe that
you love me (and my deluded sisters
and brothers) as Jesus does.
Gaurav Shroff
Geology Grad. Student
vs: 777-7726
'ertising: 777-4249
fc 777-6482 Chris Carroll j
Columbia, SC 29208 D,rect0f Studenl ^
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