The gamecock. (Columbia, S.C.) 1908-2006, September 18, 1992, Page 8, Image 8
Video movi
Mideo
vault
Welcome to Ihe Video Vault, a
column devoted to movies on
videocassette. I am the keeper of
die vault, a guy who knows more
about videos than Woody Allen
knows about family relations.
The Video Vault is a theme column,
which means all the movies I
it-view wm dc connected in one
way or another. One week I may
do movies which have rabid animals
in them, while the next week
I may cover die cinematic epics of
Don Knotts.
You'll never know and, for that
matter, I probably won't either
until I cruise by Blockbuster's and
see what's left on the shelves.
This week, I found a whole
bunch of "fish out of water" films.
These are films where a character
is put in a situation totally alien to
them.
If you don't understand the con
cept, I'll explain it by giving some
real life examples. Try to imagine
Dan Quayle at a spelling-bee, Bill
Clinton in a Vietnam veteran rally
or the USC football team in a bowl
game and you'll probably understand
exactly what I mean.
Now, without further ado, here
are the best and worst "fish out of
water tales":
Splash (1984): If you don't
get the pun here, you might want
Peaks
Continued from Page 7
take on a pseudo-significance in
Lynch's stilted world.
Lynch replaces the carefree
goofiness of certain aspects of the
television show with a nightmarish
quality, an almost metaphysical
allegory of small town life. The
questionable activities deeply covered
under the guise of small town
life in Blue Velvet do not begin to
scratch the surface of Peaks, which
is America's dysfunctional heartland.
Director Lynch seems to value
characterizations over any semblance
of reality of even a plot.
Twin Peaks has the un-honorable
distinction of being Lynch's most
plotless film yet.
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es spotlight
to think about getting that fronta
lobotomy you've been putting off
You see, Daryl Hannah is a mer
maid, or fish, if you will, and she
comes out of the ocean to be witl
Tom Hanks. I know this one ii
way too obvious but this is still <
very good and funny film whicl
somehow makes the unbelievable
romance very real.
Ron Howard directs with hii
usual, sometimes heavy-handed
sentimentality, and John Candy has
a hilarious minor role as Hanks'
older brother. (B-plus)
Hiding Out (1986): Jon Cryei
plays a businessman in his earl)
k.,
uiuiiV/^ wiiw, i ry JWlllt clWlUl IWIM
of late, is sent back to high school.
He's there hiding from some mot
meanies and, since he is young
looking, he is able to assimilate
into the high school without a
hitch. It is odd for him, though,
and the various culture clashes provide
lots of humor. Actually, this
seems more like a horror film than
comedy because it scares the heck
out of me to think about being sent
back to high school. I'd rather take
my chances with the mob. (Cplus)
Starman (1983): Jeff Bridges
finds himself in an alien situation
as he, literally, is an alien who has
come to Earth due to a satellite's
invitation. Despite the friendliness
of the invitation, various groups
warn iu capiuic uie siarman ior
nefarious purposes and Bridges
must enlist the aid of Karen Allen
to help him flee. It's quite amusing
to see Bridges react to cherry pie,
traffic lights and slot machines.
The special effects at the conclusion
are phenomenal. (B)
Many creative types in
Hollywood, most recently Tim
Burton who created the overblown
Batman Returns, have been making
concept movies lately, foresaking
the audience for personal inducement.
_ _ 11 -
ay no means couiu anyone
blame Lynch for "selling Dut" by
making this odd movie, but they
can accuse him of forgetting the
audiences who gave him his
esteemed moviemaking status.
Perhaps he wanted to add to the
"Twin Peaks" story while it was
still fresh on the public's mind, but
the sporadic script was obviously
written in a hurry.
The "Twin Peaks" phenomenon
is fascinating, but the movie
just does not deliver on the
show's original appeal. Instead
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1
outsiders
I Beverly Hills Cop (1984):
The movie which broke Eddie
- Murphy big. Murphy plays the
; brash arrogant character he has
i played in every film he has ever
> done, but when Cop was released it
i was fresh and new and absolutely
1 hilarious.
: As Axel Foley, Murphy is a
Detroit cop who comes to Beverly
; Hills lo investigate a buddy's murI
dor. His mockery of his snobbish
surroundings is the movie's strong
point, and the film is vastly superior
to the 1987 sequel which had
the same kind of plot but a much
' darker tone. (A)
[ Kindergarten Cop (1990):
Arnold Schwarzenegger teaching a
) kindergarten class ? what a hilari;
ous concept, right? Apparently
something got lost in the translal
tion in this overly violent, horrible
(or as Schwarzenegger pronounces
it, "hawable") film. (D)
Reastmaster 2: Through the
Portal of Time (1991): Sets the
record for the most unintentional
humor in a film. A warrior from
the past, Marc Singer, travels to the
1990s to hunt down a warlock bad
dude who wants to harness nuclear
power to destroy the world.
Helping the monotone-speaking
Singer is valley girl Kari Wuhr
(from MTV's "Remote Control")
who's vast knowledge of the 20th
century ranges from cool cars to
rad music. Singer tries to assimilate
in the 90s, but it is very difficilt for
anyone who wears a loincloth and
talks to animals to fit in. Even in |
L.A. (D)
That's it for now. Please be kind
and rewind and I'll see y'all next
time.
of focusing on the characters of
the series, we meet Laura Palmer
who was merely a corpse on the
show.
The music is fascinating, the
lighting is mystifying, and the visu
ais are simply amazing. But in
keeping with the brain dead final
episodes of the show, the creators
are surrounded by a wasteland of
plot ideas.
Twin Peaks: The Movie was like
nothing I have ever seen or probably
ever will see again. I could not _
get its images out of my mind,
despite my best efforts. It was an
unusual experience.
Although die film was supposed
to clarify loose ends of die show,
my friend and I left die theater still
wondering how all the pieces fit
together.
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