The gamecock. (Columbia, S.C.) 1908-2006, February 13, 1991, Valentine's Day Special Issue, Page 4, Image 12
Revise
By LISA MOHN and KARL I
HARDEN 1
Sex columnists v
In case you were wondering |
what happened to Sexually Speaking
from the fall semester, it has
been reformatl!ed into a monthly ^
series dealing with sexuality on a i
broader basis. i
We will still address the health <
and physical aspects of sex, but
omer campus experts win aiso au- i
dress the topic, namely from the
psychological/emotional and
ethical/spiritual perspectives.
Sex is, after all, a mind/body/
spirit thing, and we hope you will
find this expansion a welcome addition.
Student perspectives will
also be solicited to insure a truly
well-rounded approach.
As for today's question, we
don't think there are many clearcut
Spy rn/p.<
to values
By ANN W. ENGIN, Ph.D.
USC Sexual Psychology Professor
What role should love play in a sexi
This provocative question illustrates
our sexual behavior, for there are no d<
as there are to such questions as "V
means of birth control?" or "Can gei
oral sex?"
Sexual values are social rules that;
plex and diverse societies (such as oui
mendously among subgroups. For thi
many others, individuals must conscio
sibilities, weighing the pros and cons <
the personal emotional costs and bene!
lop a clear sense of his or her own va
behavior based on these values.
The value continuum on this quest
tremes on the liberal side assert that se
ing and should be expressed just as fre
fully satisfying physically and emotion
Some extremes on the conservative
morally and/or ethically abhorrent ar
love is emotionally meaningless and
individuals involved.
Alternative positions along the con
find that their values change as they
and some people establish a position ai
Some research has been conducted
students report that love enriches sexus
tor sexual enjoyment, hemaies nave
more than males. Recent research suj
becoming more similar in their values
sis currently on love and affection in s<
Personal decision making is fraught
accepting without-question a set of cul
plication, currently many old cultural
flux and personal decision making is e
Be sure you know what YOU war
enter into relationships on your own
factor will increase your chances of
from your self-esteem and well-being ?
*"TheUnitec^^
days a year, not just t
they take up the mo
K ColU
Ud to love a person and the commi
As ment to continue that love,
jel Obviously, intimacy, passio
t's and commitment are going to I
present in different degrees d<
pending upon the relationship.
Depending upon the relationshi
? where two people sort of like eac
)n other but are mostly just intereste
in sex, we could say that passion
3ut highest, intimacy is probabl
small, and commitment probabl
non-existent. Conversely, in
an- long-term "love" relationship, inl
ree macy and commitment dominat
> 3 ? .??
fitness is ri*
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:ion is extremely wiae. :some (
x is as natural as eating and sle<
ely or that sex without love can
ally.
side are that sex without love
id that sexual expression with<
thus diminishes the worth of I
itinuum abound; some individu
experience different life situatic
id maintain it throughout life,
on this issue. In general, collt
il relationships but is not necess;
traditionally linked love and s
jgests that males and females ;
and that there is a greater empl
jxual relationships,
with more difficulties than sim]
tural dictates. To add further co
rules about sexual conduct are
ven more important,
it and what you do not want a
terms. This more than any otJ
enhancing rather than detracti
md that of your partner.
<s 365 ^
, . The United Way
he dayil^TheWayOfLov
ney."
d Se:
guidelines on whether love shot
>e part of a sexual relationship.,
vith most sexual things, we f<
hat only you can decide wha
>est for you.
However, it may help to defi
vhat love is, to better understa
vhat role it plays when it is or
tot present in a sexual relatic
?hip. To do this, we'll review I
'three faces of love" theory set <
by Robert Sternberg of Yale.
Sternberg believes all relatii
ships have the potential for th
components of love: intimacy
feeling of closeness and conn
tion; passion, including romar
sexual arousal and physical ath
tion; ana commnmeni, me uecis
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; return
> of olo
ial relationship?
nicely the role of sexual values
jfinitive answers based on reseai
Vhat are the three most effect]
lital herpes be contracted throu
are culturally transmitted. In co
own) sexual values may vary t
s values question then, as for I
usly choose among the many p<
af each with particular attention
its. Each individual needs to de^
lues and to develop guidelines
JUKliUUUIVY, IU
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la" Ne>
{ Serious
rain
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md
tier
ing
? F^=l V\
n ppsi i
mmt t
mn ret
t- and passion has probably dimmed
somewhat,
n So, how does this all relate to
k sex? Well, certainly two people
> who have only a high level of passion
can take precautions to protect
ip themselves and their partners from
:h the negative consequences of sex.
id However, it seems that it would
is be easier to communicate and use
ly protection if it's someone who you
ly know well and care about When
a two people love each other, it is
i- more likely they will be invested
e, in keeping the other person happy
EE in the Campus Rec:
rith US!! 777-5261 for
U'LLOHLYLOSETO
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T DO Will
"Because wc
UPS...I don't
gf > five-day sche
55%. weekends fit
% 1j| I noon, or nigh
around youi
f And get paic
UP"!!" * vacations."
'2*' inaispiem
recharge. An
0 % too..."
almost $10,0
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a knows stude
much as moi
"At UPS, mc
HP ? arean equal
emp|0yer.
rt on-campus interview: Thurs.
applicants can inquire 6th Flo
Or
;ws can be arranged through *'
700 Taylor Street.
fORKING FOR STUDENTS WHC
inn nn 11/pne ri
IP3 UCLI vcns El
urns
and healthy.
Whether it means agreeing to remain
abstinent together, protecting
against unwanted pregnancy or
wearing a condom to prevent the
spread of disease from a prior relationship,
a higher level of intimacy
and commitment ? love ? has
got to make it easier. Besides,
most people that have been sexually
active with and without love,
report that love really enhances a
sexual relationship. It may just be
c? ;-i
wumi waiuug iui uiai special
person.
reation Program,
more information.
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irking part-time at
have to. They have
idules that leave your
io \A/nrk mnrninn
/ V 1 ? Vll\ IIIWI
it hours that work
a class schedule.
I holidays and
y of time to study or
d I make plenty
00 a year for workiours
a day. UPS
nts value time as
ney."
ist students work in
So if you don't do
o contact UPS". We
opportunity
2-14-91
or, BA Bldg.
lob Service,
I WORK FOR US.
3UGATION