The gamecock. (Columbia, S.C.) 1908-2006, February 06, 1991, Page 5, Image 5
A night fit for a queen
Miss Black U
By RENEE MARTIN
Staff Writer
Nineteen-year-old sophomore Ingrid Graham, who captivated the audience
at the Koger Center Sunday night with her dramatic monologue,
is Miss Black USC for 1991.
The 22nd annual Miss Black USC pageant was held in observance of
Black History Month. The event entitled "Ebony Elegance: the Spirit of
Being a Black Woman" was sponsored in part by the Association of
a A : nx i x_
Amcan-miienuui oiuuerus.
Brian Black, president of Afro, spoke very highly of the overall organization
of the pageant and complimented the winner. "Miss Graham
was well deserving of the crown. I am sure that the audience would
agree that Miss Graham was chosen for her intelligence," said Black.
Graham, a secondary education major, is a native of Hemingway,
S.C. She said she enjoys reading, singing and listening to music. Her
campus activities include performing with A Touch of Faith Gospel
Choir and working with the Bates House Government. After graduation,
she plans to attend graduate school.
Although her major is very demanding, multi-talented Graham has
found time to participate in many different pageants. During her high
school years, she held four crowned titles and one runner-up title in
pageants. The titles range from Miss Spring Ring to Miss Saint James.
Graham said she entered the Miss Black USC pageant because a
friend suggested the idea. Although she had no idea about winning the
pageant, she paid the tribute to her mother, Mary S. Graham.
As this year's queen, Ingrid said she hopes to represent the Association
of African-American Students proudly. Her appointment book is
open to any speaking engagements that may arise. However, her appointment
book for other pageants has been put on hold until this
year's reign is over.
Being crowned Miss Black USC "feels great," Graham said. Graham
encourages other young women to participate in pageants. She said she
thinks pageants of this nature are important simply because the Miss
Black USC Pageant shows the student body the intelligence and dignity
of the black woman. She added that the pageant also continues the
tradition for the generations to come.
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Ingrid Graham, a secondary education sophomore, stoops as she
receives her crown
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ThaUtlllPl
MHUMOM
V v.:^Column^
By BRIAN SHELTON
Staff Writer
Yo, I'm M.C. T.H.C. and this
column is mine/And if you don't
like it, that's good and fine./You
don't have to read it if it ain't your
thang/But if you like humor, come
and join my gang. Word to the
mommy!
That rap goes out to a homeboy
who I'll call Mr. X. In case you're
wondering, he's the one who, in
the paper, called me the Jim Bakker
of humor and insinuated that I
tote around a "laugh track on
tape."
At first, Mr. X's letter angered
me. This emotion passed after I
found out the real reason he wrote
in. %
Yr\n cpp whfn Mr \ attpnflf.fi
his high school prom, a roving
band of humor columnists played a
trick on him that was so heinous, I
can't even describe it. Let's just
say it involved Iguana blood and
50 pounds of lime Jell-O. Since
that day, Mr. X has vowed revenge,
wishing to exterminate every
member of the humor columnist
species.
Mr. X, we aren't all bad guys
and to show you my heartfelt sympathy,
I'm sending you a free
"That Humor Column Rules" Tshirt.
It's two sizes too small, but
wear it in good health.
Now let's discuss tne "topic au
jour," alcohol consumption.
Folks, in Sunday's The State
newspaper (which I usually only
read to see if Snoopy has eaten
that bird yet), an article, "144 college
students reported by ABC,"
caught my attention.
As I read on, I found out that, of
that 144 reprimanded for alcohol
offenses, 100 were from USC and
44 attended Clemson. This brought
mixed emotions because I'm
happy when we beat Clemson at
anything.
Also in the article was a statement
from a USC student which
explained why she was drinking.
"Everybody was drinking and enjoying
themselves . . ." she says,
So, Gamecock a
Advertise in The Gamecock and g?
laced one
r tormer
jues in a
ew class...
lelighted to
nice that
I Bowen,
of 1990,
:d our office.
4
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and this is understandable. It is a
well-known rule of etiquette that if
you are with 50 or more college
students, you must do exactly what
they do (even if they say, "Hey,
let's get in our cars and drive off
the biggest cliff we can find") or
risk being considered uncool.
"I had about 10 too many
drinks . . she says. Ten too
many drinks?! Heck, babe, Jumbo
could get blasted after 10 too
many drinks.
No, actually that's not true.
Drunkenness depends on metabolism
and body size. For instance, if
you're 6'5" and weigh 320
pounds, it usually takes six kegs
before a slight buzz is felt while a
5' 1", 90 pound chick begins declaring
herself the Pope after a
thimble full of "near beer."
All this may sound like I'm
preaching against alcohol but I'm
not If that's want you want to do,
cool, and the way I figure it, it is
better tor you to get arumc now because,
frankly, old, drunk people
look goofy. I, myself, however,
don't drink and here are some of
the reasons why.
Alcohol looks and tastes like
horse urine: Come on, even those
of you who drink frequently would
be whinnying before you could tell
the difference.
I don't like puking: How
come everytime somebody tells
you one of their drunken escapades,
they have to describe in explicit
detail how they upchucked
afterwards. Personally, staring a
toilet bowl face to lid at the end of
an evening my of tea.
I would fail the road sobriety
test: Being possessed with a recessive
klutziness gene, there is no
way I can walk 30 feet in a
straight line sober, much less
intoxicated.
Writing humor columns kills
enough brain cells as it is.
Well, there's more (available in
my latest book "344 Reasons Why
'That Humor Columnist' Stays
Home and Watches 'The Golden
Girls' Instead of Having Fun"), but
I gotta split. To end this column
on a serious tip, I ask that those of
you who drink not to drive. Having
seen some of you in the Blossom
Street Garage you're "hell on
wheels" as it is, without the 12
bottles of Jack Daniels. See you
next week (maybe).
ds are a waste?
Then why are you reading one?
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