The gamecock. (Columbia, S.C.) 1908-2006, December 07, 1988, HOLIDAY MAGAZINE, Page 2, Image 14
Greetings:
our present
just for you
By SUZE and TOJO
This neat little mag-type thing is
what vnn rail Features' Christmas
tabloid. We've put it together for
you 'cause we really want to wish
you a Merry Christmas, from the
bottom of our little hearts.
We've got a couple of
Christmassy pictures, lots of
Christmassy graphics and some
Christmassy stories, we have a
funky-angled survey, and we even
commissioned a few of the other
editor-type people to write columns
for us.
Take this time over Christmas to
call your high-school pals, take a
shower in the bathroom of your
childhood, refamiliarize yourself
with your neighborhood and play
with your dog. Hang out at the
local fast food franchise parking
lot, watch MTV 'til your eyes bug
out, send Christmas cards to
everyone you know at college, call
your roomate just to say you miss
'im (or 'er), drive your siblings
mad. Enjoy your time out of the
bump and grind of college and get
ready for the onslaught of spring
semester.
Have a Merry Christmas.
/V-A ^
I
life
IJ/tt 5 PffiAtkow Saluda.
'Twas just wee
Note: It's about time I publicly acknowledged
some very special friends of mine without whom I
would be completely lost. So, brothers and sisters,
this one's for you. 1 love you an. "tiave yourseij a
merry little Christmas, let your heart be light, from
now on our troubles will be out of sight..."
There's an edge to the air that says December is
here.
Halls are decked.
And this wouldn't be a Christmas issue without
the silly poem.
Here goes.
'Twas just weeks before Christmas and students
were h^ped, all dazed with exams and the papers
they'd typed. The tree on the Horseshoe was lit with
fanfare: an important occasion ? lots of people
were there.
T.C. Library was packed, there was hustle and
bustle, students stalked through the stacks amid
whispers and rustle. They were rushing and hurrying,
all in a pinch, to make up for the hour of Frosty
and Grinch.
They hoped and they prayed and they wished ii
would sno^^^^^^ listened to carols in lout
W 1
A-mas, wnen p
Christmas holiday is finally almost here. Foi
most, it's a chance to goof-off a bit ? eat some o
Mom's food; drink some of Dad's beer. Show of:
all the weight you've gained and let your mom pil<
on a couple more pounds, just to show she stil
cares. Get questioned endlessly (in a Not Meaninj
To Pry fashion, of course) about topics such a:
"have you met a, ahem, special friencP." ant
"where lies the compulsion to pierce your ear?'
and "how are the ol' grades?"
Thanksgiving will have helped a little ? culturi
shock-wise speaking, I mean. Remember when yoi
were a freshman? Are you one now? Parents ha(
that little taste of their 'new and improved' childrei
over turkey and dressing, giving you the opportuni
ty to break them in a bit to your changes. Mayb*
you came home dangerously intoxicated for thi
first time. Perhaps you used a big word like "er
roneously" or "pragmatically" in context for thi
first time. Whatever the change was, Thanksgivinj
will have hopefully given your parents time to si
awake at night and whisper in low voices, trying t<
figure out if they were actually the responsible part;
in the child-bearing department.
"Maybe we can still return !:im, Frank, and get.
I - 1 ':l T
InP 0'
t. 77 9 3 753 Sc VuXcJt Sfuan*. 197 2SOO
sks before Christ
stereo. They had visions of sugarplums, wisemen
and sheep ? probably hallucinations from acute
lack of sleep.
T^U I, ... J >U ? A.Al/knAbc
1 lie pueKCia wcic ciupucu, me eiiceivuenjiva
anemic, the bank accounts bankrupt, parents
hypoglycemic. Yes, times were trying and students
' ?2>
arents should be
1 I? ??????????1?
i refund."
i "That's a good idea, Delores, I'll call Sears
tomorrow. By the way, what does 'erroneously'
e mean?"
e Now that Christmas is here, the parents should
be wise to you. They'll expect you todrink heavily or
e stay out late and they may even be moderately
g reasonable about it. They'll be used to the earring
t ? though they may ask you to take it out for your
3 grandparents' sake. Your parents probably won't
y even mind you borrowing their blender to take to a
party. Just try to be patient with their occasional
a digressions into the "this is my house and while
u X^J
^ [j J J E
mas. and...
? a
were stressed, the dorms were a'buzzing with
energy repressed.
Caffeine-fueled all-nighters give way to such
thoughts: should have been firefighters like we
dreamed of as tots. This whole college deal is hard
and expensive ? four years spent pursuing
knowledge extensive.
They've studied and worked a semester's duration.
IT'S GOT TO BE, FINALLY, TIME FOR
VACATION!
They soon will exclaim, as they drive out of
town, "I'm headed for home, bud. See you aroun'!
Until '89 when it all starts anew, I'm gonna
RELAX, that's what I'm gonna do."
Ok, that's the silly poem. Not Robert Frost, but
good enough, I guess. Merry Christmas, folks. See
you in J anuar^^^^^^^^^
! wise to you
you're in my house . . . routine.
Here's some helpful hints to keep everything nice
and smooth with your parents: do one or two nice
little things for the old folks. Take out the trash.
Eat some of Mom's fruitcake and tell her how
much you like it and my, she sure looks young today.
And above all, find a good place to hide!
Away-time from your house is important.
I'll probably let Pop con me into raking the lawn,
and we'll wind up sitting around afterward drinking
male-bonding fluid and trading college-type stories
(Well, when I went to college, I . . .). The scene will
inevitably digress into a belching contest of the
lowest, crudest form, and I will gain new respect for
now age ana encroacning waisr-une improves ooin
the timbre and the bass response of gas.
Well, maybe.
Christmastime is my favorite time of the year ?
except maybe for springtime and a few weeks in the
fall. But Christmastime is, for some, a very meaningful
time of the year. And even if you're not
religious, it's awful fun to get new socks and
underwear.
If you're driving home, drive carefully and safely.
Have a Merry Christmas.
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