The gamecock. (Columbia, S.C.) 1908-2006, February 08, 1985, Page Page 8, Image 8
Peame 8 - February 8, 1985 Entertainment THE GAMECOCK
Soaps fan confess*
By Robert O'Connor
I am a soap opera addict. W
With the sudden eruption of unavoidable problems in my
life, soap operas arc a necessary escape hatch. Not only am 1
resolving my .075 grade point average from last semester, I
have severe credit problems with the cable television company,
my reviews arc causing an annoying stir, and I am terminally
unemployed.
This is where the plight of Valerie's mysterious disappeared
twins ("Knots l anding") and the humorous antics of the
forever immature F.rica ("All My Children") check into my
life
KMB * KKASSINt; AS it may he, I am hopelessly under the
spell of continuing drama. The symptoms are clear and
obvious. I
I skip crucial sessions ol Lnglish class to scream at Cyn- gla
thia's cxciting manipulations on "All My Children." I forego go
tune with friends to make sure Vanessa slays away from the foi
tranquilizers on "Guiding I ighi,"and I lament thr absence ol
"Another World s ( ecile daily. Is mis health) .' pl<
Henry's 'Protocol'
By Robert O'Connor ^
( oldie Havsn needs to lake a good, long vacation. crv
I'iomkoI." the latest in .in endless siring ol'discomforting- 1
K ahsutd lilins, proves once and lor all thai Cioldie Hawn can ih<
onlv plav one character ? hersell. ^ he
Una Menrv's ridiculous scupt linds Hawn tumbling her |\
air headed was ihmugh politics. As cocklail waitress Sunns
I );i s is. .1 himho's name 10 hew in with. Hawn is supplied vviih ;n.l
.in iiiiusii.il stash ol implausible occurences. Main's Davis Su
leads .1 lelameK normal lile, not needing much intelligence ot asl
skill 111
I!.
I> \\ IS ISI(,INS the moxie In creating a I r a I tic jam at the
esaci moinent a msium}: loiei^n dignitars is to anive. u;
"I'iotov.ol" then makes Sunnv ;i national hero when an St
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ss addiction to d<
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sSKA i
I Robert O'Connor
Assistant Entertainment Editor cl
f?
No trip to Food I.ion is complete without an extensive ,>
ince at Soap Opera Digest to catch up on the daytime
ssip. I kick myself when I miss traveling soap stars who per- ('
m at Columbia Mall. si
To top it all off. I know nearly the complete cast lists and t|
)t diversions of 15 soaps. Disgusting as it is, my life is neatly
fails in negotiat
.assination attempt on the dignitary is aborted in her rear
J. Is that supposed to be lunny?
Sunny is easily shoved into the national spotlight and onto
: covers of Time '?nd People magazines. Her existence
comes that ol a beloved heroine, and the nation immediatefalls
in love with this peroxided innocent.
Writer Henry then begs the audience to suspend disbelief by
king the government to use Sunny as their personal pawn,
nnv tinknowinulv allows herself lo he exploited, as she is
ked to romancc llic Arabian official whose life she saved. I
le government protocol hopes Sunny's efforts will result in a
S. military base in his country.
I he government is ruthless, willing to use an innocent
ntress id chart their political plans. However evil (<ail ;
rickland, ( 1111 DcYoung and "St. Hsewhere's" I d Hegley
ILL GAMECOCK PI
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aytime drama
ividcd bctcen my problematic reality and my retreat into the
orld of melodramatic fiction.
IT ALL STARTED rather innocently. My mother, fearful
f leaving this destructive child alone for more than two
tinutes, forced me to watch "Another World" with her every
ay.
Not that 1 had to be forced, mind you. I know I was the only
-year-old who cried over the constant separation of Alice and
teve in 1969. This habitual waste of my afternoons has grown
ito a disease. ?
There seems to be no end. I often feel like a lonely and
'ithercd old woman who has nothing left but fictional
haracters and their misery.
f riends have screamed, grades have dropped, and I have
en pangs 01 gum, nut i can never resisi inc icmpianon 10 turn
n (he television during soap time.
WILL I be able 10 turn my back on Karen McKcnzic
"Knots Landing"*? Will Nola on "Guiding l.ight" stop
ceming like a friend? Against my better judgement, I know
he answer will always be no. Is this a permcnant problem?
Tune in tomorrow. You can be sure that I will.
:ing intelligence *
nay he. Cioldie Hawn's character deserves to be misused
because she is pathetically slow-witted.
HAWN ISN'T Kl.'NNY during any instance of "Protocol."
\lter the tediously dull-minded Sunny finally figures things
>ut. the situation provides reason for drowsiness.
"I'mliii'/il" Il:iu n\ noucr^ :i?. vt:ir :iml
producer, but her coined ic effect died long ago. Still ton.idered
one ol the tour leading female box-office dra\ss,
Havsn has lost her appeal. Hawn's Sunns Das is is a bore. ^
Duck Henry's script is an unintelligible mess. Contusion
ind comedy do not click.
Not a single supporting performance is worths ol attention,
ind neither is the film.
"Protocol" should be avoided.
10T0GRAPHERS
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