Historical Newspapers of South Carolina

Below is the OCR text representation for this newspapers page. It is also available as plain text as well as XML.

Fletcher Johnson V& ^ jp Acting Editor-in-Chief Somewhere in the popular, s(>cially accepted string of events known as creation, the Big Guy took a break. He left the angel Leroy in charge, mostly because Leroy was the Ar\A T /v*"v" A '" wiujr uiiv c?iuuhu ai me nine. Lici wy s instructions were simple. "Leroy," the Big Guy said, "to insure the survival of my creation I'm only going to give you creative license over little things while I'm taking a break." Leroy was ecstatic. Kind of clumsy and possessing a sick sense of humor, some of the things we can attribute to the angel Leroy are: Cockroaches. No matter what language you say it in they are absolutely disgusting. Cockraoches have no function in the ecosystem w'nat-so-ever. Their main thrill in life is to grow to be about as big as your average size 11 shoe and wait patiently on your bathroom wall until you come in at 2:00 A.M., turn on the light, see that monster, and have a massive heart attack, complete with screams, curses, and recurring nightmares. Another favorite activity of these little guys, most of which are not so little, is to rummage around in a i. U a l_ i- *?- ' J Ji- - * * -* ' "" uasn can ur siacK. ui papers 111 me miaaie 01 me mgnt. wnen you notice such noises you know that there are three possibilities as to the cause of said noise. There is a boa constrictor in your trashcan hunting for a small pig to eat, the FBI is rummaging through your garbage, or those annoying cockroaches are still here in spite of anything under five feet tall. Almost as irritating as cockroaches are MINOR auto repairs. There are never any major repairs. It does not matter if you provide the parts, the garage, the tools, and do the work while th? mechanic stands around and ponders the complexities of life, it is going to cost you at least $200 even if you just need air put in the tires. Automobiles never need minor repairs when you have loads of time on your hands. They always break down at the worst possible place and time when you are two weeks late for everything. RplatoH t r? 'intA m nKiln rtrnKlamc nro urUn AVV4UVVU W UUtVlllUUllV pi UI71V/1110 CU >U U1 1VUO WI1 \J liaVU r err/ ftirv/vi/^k^T*/! OiJri L fUy/WVlA/W IVVt/iDUl ^ obtained their licenses from Cracker Jack boxes. These people are most often found driving along the interstate during rush hour going slightly less than 15 miles per hour. While driving along you look up and there is a car seemingly stalled with two hands on the steering wheel and no head visible. Your first thought is that someone from CCI is on a ramoace. and von immpHifltp-iv irwt unnr Hnnrc Thou B . ? , J ?V.. *?V? JTV/U notice that the car is moving slowly and every so often a head does peer over the dash board. You mutter another mouth full of expletives as you pass by another Cracker Jack driver with less intelligence than all four of the Ramones combined. Another auto-related creation credited to Leroy is the fact that most of the time the only vacant parking spaces on the entire USC campus are those reserved for the handicapped. I often wonder why they never use all those parking spaces. One of Leroy's best creations was people in public service jobs that have less personality than the dead. These people are everywhere from convenience stores to restaurants to offices of multi-national corporations. They are never assigned jobs in the back room counting styrofoam cups or over-cookine steaks. Thf>v arp rioht our thoro ir? full !?<?" I <J ,, C5"v """ ",v" v ?* ,u" * *v" yJk the public, and they can really louse up an otherwise good to mediocre day. Leroy's last and most cruel creation was done with only students in mind. He decided that there should be some seemingly insurmountable hurdle in the educational process before a student could go home, eat junk food, get a tan, and sleep late. The hurdle became final exams. They serve two purposes. They give students nosebleeds while preparing to take them, particularly if the professor says something like, "Don't worry too much about this exam, however if you should happen to blow it, it will cost you about $3,650,000 in lifetime earnings, decrease your life expectancy by 35 years, insure that you children will run up astronomical or thodontist bills, and make you as attractive to members of the opposite sex as your average, garden variety cactus." Professors, who are just older students, curse, smoke a lot, drink a lot of Tab and coffee, and complain that 36 hours is just not enough time to grade 212 essay exams covering the history of the world and have the grades turned in so 12 of the class members can graduate. Such is life, and when you have that familiar feeling in the pit of your stomach give thanks that the Big Guy stopped Leroy before he created a meter maid for every man, woman, and child on the planet. tn li M -mtFrs lp\iFwrvm iiwiv vfw?n?'inv lesday, May 3, a, 5,8:30-5:00 srm^muLL : 1 ? Tom Coyne f \ News Editor jSSi^^. As the year comes to a close and finals rapidly approach, it is timo to rpmpinhpr what ru>niirroH ITIIUV UV.VW11VU UVtl (.lie pdiSl IWU semesters. If someone had told me what lay ahead at the start of the school year, I would have said they were crazy. It seemed from the very beginning of the first semester asi if the staff of the Gamecock was embroiled in some sort of| dispute and it continued through the year. It was a year in! which it seemed everybody lost. It started with our attempt to cover the Student Senate Finance Committee meeting. We were not allowed to cover the meetings and tempers flared between the Gameco< U and1 Student Government. We argued that under the Freedom of Information Act we could not be banned from the meeting. They argued that Student Government did not receive state funds, and therefore were not subject to the FOI act. The matter was sent to Student Affairs, university legal counsel and finally to the state Attorney General's office where it was decided that we did not have the power to get into the meeting, but they didn't have the authority to keep us out. Our next battle also involved the Student Finance Committee when we were not funded for any other positions other than editorial positions. The staff banned together and lob bied-but was met with little success. Finally, as a last resort a strike vote was taken. The staff voted to strike but later decided otherwise, when we realized it would do more harm than good. There were other less newsworthv items, but thp onp controversy that everyone will remember is the editor-inchief's firing. The staff supported and fought for Mark Platte, but the fight was a lost cause. The year was long, but there were a lot of rewards; friendships, fun and some interesting news stories. As th< year began, the staff approached their tasks that lay ahead with excitement and anticipation. As the year ended, th?M staff was doing little more than going through the motions. ! Only three members of the original editorial staff are still with the Gamecock. Many quit after the first semester. We tried to put out the paper four times a week with a staff smaller than the previous year's. Wo PAtrornrl ca*y\a Kir* ~ ~ ..x- vutvivu ouiuc uig ucwo diui ica cinu niaut: bwiue mistakes. We were involved in another lawsuit and threatened with several others. In many ways it was a typical year, but in many others it was not. The extra newspaper per week put a heavy strain on the staff, not only quality on news, but also on class loads, i As Hichard Meyers, next year's editor, and his stafl prepare for the upcoming year, I hope they approach the job with the same eagerness as this year's staff did but-with a lot more luck. I hope they are able to keep on good terms with all the necessary people and find the big news stories. I hope the staff will be able to sustain their enthusiasm for two semesters. The staff this year was more than capable, but the strain placed upon it was too enormous. With the return, next year, to publishing three days a week, I hope the Gamecock is able to rise to a higher level, which I know it is capable of doing. Some members of this year's staff will return next year, and others will not. I hope USC students realize the Gamecock is a learning experience, and the staff will makemistakes. I hope students will write letters to the editor mon often next year, both praising and criticizing the Gamecocl and also call with story ideas. Student support of next year': staff could aid more in improving the paper than anyone cai imagine. HSBD