The gamecock. (Columbia, S.C.) 1908-2006, March 26, 1980, EXTRA, Image 15
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New sport 's|
Hanging c
by Randy Hope
Intramural Hanging, billed as the most spine-tingling
new event at this year's National Intramural Convention,
is being considered for inclusion in next year's USC Intramural
schedule. Initiated two years ago at Knotted
Noose University, this exciting sport has spavyned the
national organization, States for Hanging Intramural
Tournaments. But before this time-proven sport is included
in our IM schedule, we in the Intramural Office
want to be sum it is somothinn thn stuHpnts want
Therefore we will include a brief summary of the rules.
As with most other activities in our Intramural Program,
the IM Hanging Tournament would be a team sport. Each
organization would be allowed to enter as many threeperson
teams as they wanted. Each person on these
teams would have a designated responsibility. There
would be the Hanger, the Tyer, and of course the
Swingee. The Tyer would escort the Swingee up the
steps to the platform andd assist the Swingee in tying the
Loose Noose around the Swingee's neck. Then the
Hanger (a black hood is optional) would take over with
introduction, the countdown and the final opening of the
trap door. The Swingee would do the actual swinging.
'Jaws' attach
by Fanny Flipper one of the gorgeoi
Last week disaster struck the Co- before disappeariri
Rec Innertube Waterpolo Program. the bottom of the p
The Mighty Minnows were innocently
contesting the Funky Fins in their According to loc
weekly innertube waterpolo match, suspect foul play
when all of a sudden a ferocious blast has been a rash of
of water erupted from the depths of appearances in
the diving well. With water spraying poo;s throughout
everywhere, innertubes bouncing ficer said, "We
across the pool deck, and swimmers organized gamblii
gasping in horror, a huge shark leaped these incidents
out of the water and into the air... disappearance of
Before anyone could blink a watery waterpolo team,
eye, the monstrous, teethy shark pool halls and p
came back down and engulfed the organized collabon
entire Mighty Minnows Innertube The reactions
Waterpolo team in one big gulp. At players of the "?
this same instant, this incredible varied. One concei
beast paused long enough to wink at was kinda glad th<
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Heavy duty
This canoe, developed by the intramural department,
is tha latest in "heavy duty "design. The
cement craft wM neither dent nor break and ht
promised to last forever. It is nicknamed the "rock"
oecause it is rumorea to t/oat just mo /is name tmpitas.
The wMe water club is not too hot on Its design
but the weight lifting folks toye It. One source told
reporters thet he thought, "the Intramural people
were up the river without e peddle. "
line tingling7
onsidered
uue 10 xne unique nature of this new event, this IM
Hanging Tournament would have to be single elimination.
Concerning how the winners are determined, experienced
judges would be imported from Clemson University.
These judges would be awarding points in the following
categories: (1) Hang-time Category, (2) Best-dressed
Category, (3) Originality of Last Request Category, (4)
the Longest-Lasting Smile Category, and (5) Before-andAfter
Style Points.
The entrants would also have a choice of which
Division they would like to enter: I. The Texas Longnecks
(you wouldn't necessarily have to be from Texas), II. The
Red Necks, III. The Leathernecks, or the special V.
Mothon uir.iT. ?
vuiiiun iuio uiviaiUII.
According Eric Stein, the Director of Intramurals here at
USC, "Up at Clemson, the students were just dying to
enter this tournament. They were literally breaking their
necks to get their entry forms in before the deadline."
So, you heard it here first. Be sure and go out early and
start practicing for the BIG EVENT of next year, the IM
Hanging Tournament. Don't hang around too long and let
someone else beat you to the noose.
,s waterpolo
js blond lifeguards, I it did because her team had beer
ig into the drain at | losing. The boyfriend of the blonc
jool. lifeguard is now accusing her o!
dating behind his back. Anothei
:al authorities, they | survivor claims that he saw one of the
. There apparently j swallowed Mighty Minnows in a
these bizarre shark recent news photo from Cuba,
college swimming sunning himself at an exclusive
this area. One of- resort.
feel it mav be
ng. Every one of
has involved the At any rate, no one is sure whether
an entire innertube all the players had swallowed too
We're checking all much chlorinated water, or if Charlie
et shops for any the Tuna is trying to show he has
ation." good taste. Either way, beware of
of the surviving large drains at the bottom of pools,
jating" have been large fish that wink at blond
rned player said she lifeguards, and April Fools issues of
3 shark came when the Shoney s Flash.
Bad day
Everyone hes their bed days end Erie $. J. Coetes,
shown ebove, is no exception. Eric, SMck es we prefer
to c*H him. wes storting the intremurei dreg rece lest
Sunday when At was run over by the second boat.
Tbo Hoehh cHntc announced yesterday that Eric wilt
recover except tbet he wMt be permantfy merred by
tire impressions on his arms end tegs. That's alright
with Eric; he sold he wanted now taloos onyfray.
Sponsored by Shonev
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Barry Newman
Shown above is the swinging winner of the intramural hanging com- *
petition. Although after the event the champion had nothing to say, before
the competition he stated. "/ think / will win because / hang around a lot. " ?
The winner's name will be announced after notification of next of kin.
Research explains
Intramural excuses
For the past ten years the National 2. My girjfriend was frisky last
Intramural Council has been ex- night
tensivelv researchina the reasons as 3. I didn't see that bicvcle parked in
to why Intramural participants think center field
they lose IM game. Utilizing the most 4. I did't show up because I thought
up-to-date research tool of its kind, the season was over
the Council distributed a 4000- 5.1 felt sorry for the other team
question, computerized questionnaire 6.1 didn't have my good shoes on
to seven million Intramural par- 7. Our starting lineup was out of
ticipants across two continents. The town
following list is a brief summary of the 8.1 had a bad sunburn
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these^ students for losing an In- 10. My legs were weak from last
tramural contest. They are not night
necessarily in any particular order, 11.1 hadn't eaten in a week
though for some they may be! 12. Our team over-trained /;%
13. Excuse Who needs an excuse
1. The ref wouldn't let us cheat " We iust 9ot the tar beat out of usf
i mt ^ ?. _ * ' B . t
nexi week in iniramurais *
SPORT ENTRY DEADLINE ,Ar \
\ <
I IM Hanging . Sundown
I IM Memory Contest ' * Yesterday, I think <
1 IM Potty-Training ; Puberty %v ;
t IM Grave Digging After Rigimortis sets in
[ IM Body Odor Tournament 3 days after last showei
: Evelyn Woodhead Reverse
j Speed Reading Contest After last book ^ ^
Minnow Catching Contest in Minnesota.
Penquin-Look-Alike Contest in Juneau, Alaska. .,
N Special Student Rates for one Exciting Week in Australia, Call
123-4567 (Note: Must able to Furnish own Kangaroo for Tran- \
sportaion(. - \
First round of Annual Sand-Castle Building Tournament in Pebble
Beach, Siberia.
Wet T-Shirt Contests in every bar on the Florida coast, ' 'r'Jj. ^
Booger-Bowling Tournament in Nostril Alley.
Ordor-Eater Contest in Larry's Locker Room. v
i II i i
'8