Historical Newspapers of South Carolina

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I 1? WHY NOT THIS ONE? automatics Much arguing and consternation Clemson stu< is going on concerning the Duties ai proposed Student Government President: 1 constitution here at USC. Never able to go tc the type to mind my own business, time he want I would like to propose my own Limitatioi constitution, which will be sub- Powers: Th< m i 11or} (a llllioroirof * uiivvu mibibTci jviu ouuniii use nuciear1 such things, along with a petition Frisbeegam signed mostly by dead people and The Presic animals. University Preamble: We, the students of worth. USC, in order to conduct student At no time affairs in a way heretofore allowed unknown on the face of this planet, "chickenhea to harass our parents and the Duties and Administration as mnrh as I possible, and to have as much fun as we can while doing it, do establish this hodgepodge of legal terminology and vaudeville. Name: The name of this organization has been changed to protect the innocent. Jurisdiction: All of this stuff will be applied to USC students whom we happen to dislike. Franchise: All students who are stupid enough to believe that it will do any good are entitled to vote in SG elections. Of course, this iMCHRRfli m 8RIVI Bill alHP mmm n?HN BjOMRD Filmed jiH LIVE IN mim WMWWtQi Thta Ptrtuf Contains Harsh And Vary Vulgar Langoaga And May Ba Conaidarad Shocking And Oftanalva. No Explicit Sax i j Or Viotanca hi Shown. | Now Playing The QAMECOCK Is the student newspaper at the University of South I Carolina and le published three tlmea a week on Monday, Wednesday and Friday during the (all and spring semesters and once weekly during the fall and spring semesters and once weekly on Thursdays during both summer sessions with the exception of university holidays and examination perlode. Opinions expressed In the QAMECOCK are those of the editors and not thoee of j f the University of South Carolina. The University of South Carolina is an equal opportunity institution. The Board of Student Publications and Communications Is the publisher of the I Gamecock. The Student Media Office Is the parent organization of the Qamecock. Change of address forms, subscription Iixfuvai* ?iu uuivi cwmponovnr* should b? sent to the GAMECOCK, Box I 85131 Russell House, University of S.C., I Columbia, S.C. 29206. Subscription rates l< are $5 per semester and $2 for the I summer sessions. I Third class postage psld at Columbia, I " I ~ President: The Vice-Presidei -Shall be glad he's not th President's homosexual lover. The Vice-President shall suppl ?| g|?i|^^^^MHB ample intoxicating refreshment I (STfli appropriate prophylactics, an clown suits for meetings of tli Student Senate. The Vice-President shall be th one to get coffee and donuts for th SG offices each morning. The Vice-President sha lly includes all disavow any knowledge of th Inntc accaccinatinri r\f tha Prncir)nn( 4VIIMJ. MkrtjMUtJIUMV&VIl VI UIV A I VOAU^llV. nd Powers of the Composition of tlje Studei 'he President shall be Senate: The Student Senate sha the men's room any be composed of the members of th s to. student body who: is of Presidential a) can buy enough votes; e President shall not b) are relatives of the President < weaponry to break up the University; es on the Horseshoe. c) can prove sexual prowess abov lent shall not take the and beyond the call of lust; or for everything it's d) can say "rubber baby bugg bumpers" three times fast. will the President be Duties and Powers of the Studei tn call a nunne fionalo- Tho Ctndanf ckoll ? v -w m m m a? j V II V k/ViiMWV A I1V k/VUUVHV K/V/I1U W OI1U11 . d." a) be able to tell really good jokes 1 Powers of the Vice- b) know no more about legislate BHHH Thous Dollars Trash Ot Check around your < may be able to collect an thousand dollars if you Pi all over the country were participating in Pitch In! \ This year, Budweiser again reward participate approved campus organiz In! Week. Five groups v educational awards, five $500, and five third plac( For e?ntrv mips and t! simply send in the attache ! 1979 National Coll ; April 2-6. Pitch In! I NAME s B COLLEGE ! ADDRESS I CITY STA1 ORGANIZATION ON CAMPUS | Mail to: College Pitch In! Week Desk, c h 1330 Avenue of the Americas, | Competition void where prohibited bv i ER BUSCH. INC ST LOUIS it procedure than how to adjourn; ap le c) destroy any evidence of rational thj thought; and ly d) visit S.C. recreation areas Co s, frequently to keep them safe for "C id democracy. wh te Limitations of the Powers of the let Student Senate: The Student tal te Senate shall not: le a) get in the way of custodial ] personnel cleaning the SG offices; a t 11 b) emulate Strom Thurmond, the Su te Shah of Iran, or Mork from Ork; wc c) refer to each other as "your wh it Holiness"; or 171 11 d) pass any law allowing gunplay Pr le in the library. id< be Power of the University Tv 3f Judiciary: The University i Judiciary, consisting of a Supreme thi re Court and several Not-so-Supreme a) Courts, will do its level best to keep loc [y a straight face. m< The Supreme Court will review b) it all cases brought against students, c) All other luggage will be reviewed Sp ; in a lower court. d) 'e ' The Supreme Court will have thi andsOf Found Ir iCampu :ampus community. You, t( i educational award of up tc jl _ a a / n _ r icn ini uroups Trom campus ! awarded $8,750 last year Neek. and ABC Radio Network v ig colleges, universities a :ations who participate in Pit will win $1,000 in first pla second place groups will v ? arouDS will win $250. ie Pitch In! Week program I id coupon. mi ege Pitch In! Week Of m in; A 1 Ana win uasn. 15BSS re zip gggj /o ABC Radio Network R41M3 New York, NY 10019 law pellate jurisdiction, whatever it is. rhe Chief Justice of the Supreme urt will bang his gavel and shout >rder! Order!" a lot. Anyone 10 says, "I'll have a bacon, tuce and tomato on rye" will be ten out and shot. Rlprtinnc* Rlppfinnc will ho holH vivtuk/ TV 111 fcfV IIV1U 3 a.m. on the second rainy nday night in August. Poll >rkers will become suspicious len the same person votes for the th time. Candidates for SG esident wearing costumes must ;ntify themselves to Monty Hall fore selecting Door Number /o. \mendments: Amendments to s constitution may be made by: a 31/47 vote of all the goodiking girls on campus who call i before midnight tonight; an act of God; a terrorist attack on the Golden ur; or anyone crazier than I am (I nk I'm safe here). 1 ISh DO, ) a ;es by vill nd ch ice vin <it, mm a! I I I I I I I ?. I