The gamecock. (Columbia, S.C.) 1908-2006, February 26, 1979, Page Page 7, Image 7
Plan
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You might remember that way
back in the dim dark reaches of conSjS|
last semester, one of my columns aio01;
was "A Look Through the ?,
Catalog," or something like that. ^at ^
Since, try as 1 might, I can't find a suffer
way to make six inches of sleet be f
funny -- I had a great title, "The Ad '
Storm that Ate Columbia." but ?
that's as far as I goi ? ( present JJJ? ^
Catalog Part Two, belatedly but in rtVAr?,
good humor. makm,
The Student In the University progra
(University 101): Instruction in comes
just which university it is that same I
you're attending. Intensive plot 1
analysis of who gives the best reduno
parties, likeliest places to find televis
parking, what courses require the appenc
least attendance. I^ab work in Prin?
picking up girls, getting gracefully lying,
intoxicated.
1 U k/1 1V-C
Nuclear Physics: Decay rates, wrencl
particle acceleration, blowing up some h
the world. How to explain to irate percen
demonstrators why they are Makinj
growing a fifth limb. Lab work metro]
must be completed at least 7000 worthy
miles from the main campus. Hum
Advanced Astronomy: Com- New IV
munication with extraterrestrial transc<
beings. How to distinguish a inflatic
weather balloon from an in- that y<
terstellar invasion fleet, person
Negotiation with Klingon Empire, your cl
450-year field trips. Studen
rest of 1
mmmi
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ticate: whaf to ingest for Sadomasochisi
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meed Television Production 1f I
rection: How to assume that U flEPKS
nerican public consists of ?
ixed apes. Scheduling: h'/' 'l/g
sure that every good , BjpjgMHI
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ion: which lens for which Ep|9
ciples of Advertising. Basic j
advanced lying, shameless , 5
ttion. How to make a socket , B^jS ^ .
) look sexy Convincing
Lid 'hat a cereal made of 94 Bf?& JH<
t ?>ogar is good for him.
i a lethargic and boring j
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an Becoming: Toward a '
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