Historical Newspapers of South Carolina

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JffvThe Lef a Satire MBfa. A By Lehman Stiles Assistant Entertainment Edit The news is filtered in through the FM-sl "Newspaper heiress Patty Hearst will be releas The crowd around the swimming pool breal .smilpsi with hnnninocc cottina Knr martini /Imitt uvvvnig IXVi I1IU& V11U VIVfT I up and down with glee. "Congratulations, Patty!" says an ob conspirator. "Yes, that's just great,!' agrees a "I hope I get out soon; that $200,000 I embezzl bank account." "Speech! Speech!" the incarcerated socialite "Thank you so much. Thank you, everybody, overcome by a lack of emotion. "I want to exp everyone who has made my stay here a bit more "Herb, thanks for the tennis lessons; it su machine gun 'strapped to my arm,' ha ha! Do Invplv UPS 1 nnrHnn hlnil vnil holnoH mo r>ronn? ? ,.W ? W* ?tv?a VAVM j wu aavi^vu 111V pi cpai C And of course, Dave..." She lowers her pert littl ? for everything." Dave is poked fun at and slapped on the 1 remember me when you go out with Steve W? erupts in uproarious laughter. : ' "But seriously," Patty continues, "it's be< know, when you go to prison, you worry about going crazy ... not having properly chilled wine songs start making sense, and all that sort of I . obviously well-bred as you are ... helped me t< ; time of life with the grace and sophistication s ding." The crowd roars in approval. After a small informal ball is held in her hon the gates of the prison a free woman. Her waiting. She walks up to a bank of microphones, press stop groveling at her father's feet lonj remarks. "How does it feel to be out?" one asks. "Just wonderful," Patty affirms. "It's great t a just and fair country after all. Where else but i heiress to one of the country's largest fortunes g revolution and robbery, alternately denounce < stand for and then every value my parents' ei showboat lawyer to make up a story of 'brainv from it all scot-free a mere two years later?" "What are you going to do now? " "Oh, 1 think I'll just go home, talk to my sepa with my fiancee-bodyguard, who did such a fine those silly people who wanted to hurt me just h the river, and begin work on my memoirs." "You're going to get a good talking-to, I < monishes Patty's daddy. "Oh, daddy," Patty smiles. "Oh, yes, one m< are going to see Citizen Kane tonight. They say i "Rosebud is his sled," whisper six burned 1 nouse. Earn Extra ffionei a i while helping in the diagnosis and preventic If your blood type is B and you would like to month for only a few hours of your time per vs applicants between 18-30 years of age) i or A person of any other blood type may earn \ | by being a regular blood plasma donor. Serologic of Columbic 2719 (Tliddlebu Suite "IO? Columbia, S Phone 254-^ t CLASSIFIED SWEETHEART WW "J SPECIAL Jl Jl dl JHL4 Deadline 12 noon ^^Feb. 12. im 5 fill) ijfl tereo intercom system. edThursdav..." cs out in a cheer. Patty ^ 1 on the bar and jumping scure V atergate co- ? former bank executive. mm ed is waiting in a Swiss scry. says Patty, obviously ress my appreciation to ; bearable. re beats having a subris, I'll never forget the fm. ?v>?? ...:tu n?..? iv/i uijf uaic Willi L/t>VC. e head shyly... "Thanks W back. 44I just hope you w Ki," he says. The crowd ?n just wonderful. You _ things. Getting raped ... J . Suddenly Johnny Cash thing. But you people ... > get through this tough is befits my social stanor, Patty walks through father and mother are J and the members of the a g ? enough to record her j \ o realize that I do live in i in America could a mere ;o on a 21-month spree of every value my parents lemies stand for, hire a ^ cashing' and walk away g I 1 rated parents, eat lunch j job protecting me from ecause I sold them down can promise that," ad- Op0f >re thing. Bernard and I t's very good." todies in a Los Angeles tl ?n of blood disorders. earn up to $160.00 per 'eek (preferably male up to $80.00 per month :als x, Inc. irg Dr. j C >537 1 1 Ne I Smothe 3URu???nHou*^^ B With Choice k. " Two Vegetal STUDEM Earn Moi Vhile Hclpini deceive $10 per blood pi. (Limit two donations DLUMBIAP] CUJYIEJ 16 TAYLOR 1 Monday thru Friday 9:0 Telephone: 254-6684 o TTi-ji as? ggggdB S ? I &m? | IISMAR p fflffljnjjj S. WANT tm the student bo ] THE UNIVERSITY OF SC IF YOU CAN ME ? fkUMRIE 2 UIINLU OTo hear about some unusual care able to men and women- while th 3 after they graduate Marine Corps data processing, telecommunicati* business management to name |i the best offered in or out of the m facts, when we visit vour camous J? 13 & 14 Februai 9:00 - 3:00 t|;j w Special 1,1.^^1 I red Chicken I :L $1.89 % eb. 5-11 MM?fl I IS, ley j Others J ^ -i (tsiiia uonauon ; per week) LASMA R STREET 0 a.m. - 6:00 p.m. r 254-6683 ?? ?? IN ES wmm^m I I mi dy of )UTH CAROLINA ETTI1E MAP er opportunities avail10V stnv in Qrhnnl Ctrtri 7 , ... vv/i ?v/WI C?? ?VJ i career programs ?in ^ns. avionics, finance. jst a few-are among ilitary Find out all the ?y 1979 IN THE RUSSELL HOUSE!