The gamecock. (Columbia, S.C.) 1908-2006, January 12, 1979, Page Page 35, Image 35
Regist1
Satire by
Don Fobes
Drop-Add week is a delightful
time. It's a time of decision and
indecision and a time of hit or miss
Matters of utmost urgencj
prevail such as: "Will this subjec
be easy? Is it a good choice? Is ii
easy? Do I need English 888? Is i
easy?"
It kinda reminds me of that Jacl
Lemmon flick, "The Daze of Whim
and Supposes." "Whine" like
"Gott im Himmel, why do I stil
need all those damn hours ii
foreign languages!" And, "sup
pose" like: "Do you suppo?
Divorce 101 counts towan
1 1 ?11
pjruiv/iugjf, iaw ui cvuiiomtcs:
(Needless to say, economics is thi
correct response.)
Apoian's
stand
challenged
JMHSM
All Classified ads art CASK
I ADVANCE. Ads may bo placed botwee
I hours of t am -12 noon, 1 pm 3 pm, Mo
I thru Friday in 311>E Ruesell Houm. Ad
I and chock may bo placod In campus o<
mail to: MEDIA BUSINESS OFFICE,
IIS131, USCf Columbia, S.C. WM.
THE DEADLINE FOR MONO.
PAPER IS FRIDAY AT 3 P.M.
DEADLINE FOR WEDNESDAY'S PA
IS MONDAY AT 3 P.M., AND
DEAOLINE FOR FRIDAY'S PAPE
WEDNESDAY AT 3 P.M. For furttw
formation call 777-MM.
THE OAMECOCK IS AN EQUAL
PORTUNITY - AFFIRMATIVE AC
EMPLOYER.
4.4 cu. ft. Retrloorator. Excellent
dftlon. Call Mary Sua 771-5M9.
I, SUMMER JOB OPENINGS FOR C
Camp Seafarer (girls) on the coasi
motorboatlng, and seamanship, plus
and a wide variety of ma|or sports
available for graduates and undergn
another summer |ob. Opening* for
excellent character reference*, ablll1
and a genuine Interest In working m
furnished; plus an opportunity to s
perlence. Quick answer upon receipt)
resume of training and experience I
best qualified to Instruct. Apply to
^Seafanjr^^xyjBoxj0976^aje^h^
; I classified ord
I* rates:
" Students ? 10 cents per word for 15 v
^ I Faculty, Staff, USC organizations ?
; - ] J word for more than 20 words.
| V ? I Non students, commercial ? 20 cen
i ] a ,or moro ,han 20 words.
J Minimum charge per Insertion:
khgj [j $2.00 commercial
.. tl.50 faculty, staff, USC organize
[ M 11 $100 students
I Make checks payable to the Game
- I phone numbers and hyphenations. Z
| H Help Wanted, etc. Underline capita
_ Media Business
V mail to: campus Mall o
Columbia, S.C.
ration-n
IN DEFERENCE to those pitiful
creatures who've experienced the h
pitfalls of Drop-Add, let's pursue
one coed, Miss X, on her appointed
rounds:
4 'Miss, you wish to add Abnormal t
* - * ?
rsycnoiogy 1313. Is that right?" d
I "Yes. I need those three credit e
' hours to graduate. I've been n
waiting in line for nearly two
f hours; I simply must take that
t course." r
t "Sorry, but we need the p
t professor's signature. You've ^
forgotten to get it." U
"Damn. Well, I've got to get c
those three hours so I'll go get that e,
signature and get back to you." ^
? Five miles, two hours and 946 ?
: burned calories later, Miss X **!
1 staggered into the coliseum. a
i- si
e "Well, I'm back. I got the b
j signature." b
" "Sorry, you also need your d
e dean's signature. You've got to go si
get it. Get it?" a
To the Editor: A
In regard to Mr. Robert Apoian's b
letter in Monday's (Dec. 11) e
Gamecock, 1 would like to b
rporptfnllv inform him that he is tl
not better than anyone else on this p
campus. The type of superior at- p
titude he righteously flaunts is
what must be eliminated if the p
South Carolina College is to t
prosper. I am one Honors (which is a
what SCC grew out of) student who \
gets quickly bored with people like t<
I-IN- " ' 1 "
n the
nday MONITORING PERSONNEL. Convenient
co?* to USC. Need 3 people to monitor equipment,
answer telephone, dispatch serviceman and
occasional light office duties. You will be
able to do some studying at this position. We
_ have openings for the followlno 4 hour shifts:
IbH 8 AM to Noon; Noon to 4 PM; 4 PM to 8 PM.
TM1 P'w*? c?" for an Interview. 771-0060.
ft IS
r Irv
OPTlON
Sophomores, Juniors, Seniors: EXCELLENT
OPPORTUNITY TO EARN
BETWEEN 150 TO *150 PER WEEK, OR
MORE BASED ON YOUR CAPABILITIES
TO SELL. SET YOUR OWN WORK
, SCHEDULE. TRAINING AND INCENTIVE
Con ' PROGRAMS FURNISHED. CALL DAVID
STANLEY 796-2493, Monday and Tuesday, a
__ to 12.
ffl
AAAP COUNSELORS at Camp Saa Gull (boy*) and ;
I of North Carolina. Tha camps faatura sailing,
all usual camping activities Including swimming j
. 32nd saason. June 5 August 17. Opportunities
Bduatas who nVe LOOKING FOR MORfc' than |ust
graduate nurses or RNs. Qualifications Include
ly to Instruct In one pha?e of tha camp's program,
'Ith young people. Good salary; food and lodging
hare In a highly purposeful and challenging exof
letter of application which should Include a brief I
n araa(s) of the camp program In which you are l
Wyatt Taylor, Director, Camp Sea Gull Camp
/-Mrnlln* 97
3r form"""
/ords, 8 cents per word for more than 15 words.
15 cents per word for 1st 20 words, 12 cents per
ts per word for 1st 20 words, 14 cents per word
itlons
>cock. Abbreviations count as one word as do
/e do not charge for sub headings, e.g. For Sale,
sllzed words.
i Office
r Box 85131, USC
29208 1
n mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm
elated il
"Got it. I mean I'll get it and that s
Btter be all, or I'll get after your P
inny. Get me?" 11
"Gotcha."
d
COOL, CALM Miss X departed f
hp pnlioonm llliH| 1-- ' '
W..UVU1U ttiui vruai wail uiuy UC
lescribed as a Peter Paul Mound's
xpression ? indescribably s
nalicious. n
h
Miss X was subsequently
egistered for Abnormal
'sychology 1313, but sad to say, r
er dean had erred. She didn't need a
tie course. The dean expressed 0
ondolences and attempted to 0
irnlnin awnv his nvprsiaht fllnntf ?
le lines of: "I'm not a math major ti
fter all. Could have happened to u
tiyone."
Miss X took it in stride as she
tumbled to the coliseum mumling
vague obscenities under her v
reath. She was well armed for j
rnn nrnpoHnroQ hnurovor Sha HqH I
1 V|/ WVUIM VWj tiVT* VT V* JL
ignatures of her professor, her r
dvisor, her dean, and as a per- s
Ir. Apoian. I chose to attend USC <
ecause it offered me a unique 1
ducational opportunity and ]
ecause I felt that the snobbishness )
lat is found in some more (
restigious universities was not
roualanf hora
? v? uvi^i 4
It is important to note that ^
irobably 95 percent of my fellow t
lonors-SCC students would cringe t
t such pseudo-intellectual garble, j
Ve're all here (at least most of us) ]
o receive a good education, to
MEN). WOMEN!
JOBS
CRUISE SHIPS.?. FREIGHTERS
No experience. High payl See
Europe, Hawaii, Australia, So.
America. Summer I Career. Send
$3.65 for Info to SEAWORLD CB,
BOX 61035, Sacto, CA 95*60.
If vou are a female Grad Student reaulrlna
a quiet place to study and live, reply to P.O.
Box 476, Columbia, SC 29202.
PETER, HAPPY LATE BIRTHDAYI
MISSED YAI C.J.
ATTENTION: There will be an
organizational meeting of the U.S.C. Speech
and Individual Events teams. Students interested
in these programs are encouraged
io BMOTiu irw mroimy or Ionian rror. fworn
Rowe (777-4595) In Longstreet Theatre. The
meeting will be In RH, room 303; on Thur. 1
Jan. 18 at 4:00 p.m. Hope to see you there. 1
Write out your classified advertisement in the spac<
Ho. words No. Insertions
Iness s%
onal stroke of genius, she had J
rocurred a department char- i
nan's John Hancock. i
"Oh, it's you again," Miss X 1
irected to an all too familiar [
egistration worker. "Well, I've
ot a drop slip with every signature
could think of."
"Sorry, but this one here is 1
igned in pencil ? all signatures 1
lust be in ink. I'm afraid you'll
ave to . . ."
"Aiyeeee, Aiyeeeeee!" shrieked 1
liss X, dropping her droD form 1
nd sprinting to her car. Jerking
pen the car door and screeching t
ff with a roar, she didn't even i
otice the onmipresent parking
icket on the windshield. Such is 1
fe. :
c
IN HER frenzied state, Miss X
violently crashed into a telephone
>ole and was duly hospitalized. '
Physically she made a rapid
ecovery, but emotionally she was j
eriously impaired.
1
share learning experiences, and to j
nature into responsible people. ,
It's unfortunate that Mr. Apoian |
las forgotten that maturity in- .
eludes humility. j
Perhaps he should refer to a man
'ar wiser than he. As Socrates once
vrote, "As for me, all I know is
hat I know nothing." He's surely
lot the only one. ]
lohn Huey i
Snglish-Sophomore 1
IBM TYPIST, EXPERIENCED,
PROMPT, CONVENIENT. 799-7587.
NEED FAMILY PLANNING?
+ All methods of birth control available
+ Low cost for services
4- Convenient clinic hours
+ All Information strictly confidential
+ Pregnancy testing available
+ VD screening
For appointment call:
THE LADIES CLINIC
1411 Barnwell St.
Columbia, SC 254-7553
Guitar Instruction ? traditional and
contemporary folk, classical, and |azz. Bill j
Kossler. 359-5453.
PREGNANCY TERMINATION A
Counseling available ff'
RH neg. shot Included ^
$150
This Is not a referral agency.
THE LADIES CLINIC
1411 Barnwell St.
Columbia, SC 254-7553 i
EXPERIENCED TYPIST '
WILL DO TYPING IN MY HOME.
"AMILIAR WITH MEDICAL TER
VMNOLOGY AND LAW. CONTACT
SHIRLEY DAVID ? 252 3109. *
V.
is. provided below: One letter to one space, one eir
*
.Starting data all ads c
irfaces
appropriately labelled the dread
llness "'Drop-Additis." And,
\bnormal Psychology 1313 didn't
jypass Miss X after all. There's an
jntire chapter devoted to her case
listory in the new text.
The subject of Drop-Add is
subject to much criticism and
rightfully so. Others who have been
subjected to selecting certain
select subjects from so many
subjects have often been subject to
rnigraine headaches, not to
mention Drop-Additis.
A word of warning. Don't let the
erm "Priority Drop-Add"
>edazzle you. It sounds better than
egular Drop-Add, but what it
eally boils down to is: you're first
imong fools.
-r
Editors note: Miss X, through
the miracles of croun encounter
was rehabilitated, but it proved,
Ellas, only temporary. She entered
the Campus Bookstore recently
during celebrated author J.W.
Penworthy's book-autograph
session. Miss X innocently hefted
his work, "How to Cope." Penworthy
scooted serenely over with
ballpoint periously poised. "Young
lady, I see you wish to buy my
book. Let me autograph it. You
haven't got my signature "
With several piercing aiyeeees,
Miss X ran blindly in pursuit of
renewed group-encounter therapy.
Drop-Additis had returned.
ABORTION |l
Finest Medical Care j|
$150 9dm-9pm jtfi
TOLL FREE Fj
1-800438-8039 1|
EVERGREEN ] py
MCAT-DAT Review Course H pR]
LSAT Review Course M rVS?
Take the courses individually in jjl?
Atlanta in 3 to 5 days. P.O. Box Rj K i
77034, Atlanta, GA 30309 Phone (404) | j: ]
MCAT ME DAT K]
PCAT-OCAT-GMAT I
&FW\Wm SAT VAT LSAT m
NMBL1LHI M
ECFM6 Fuk VQE fo
UAVfi RPkiv nni* _ yiiMfiiuii nnf? " J
nm l utm oua nuKairib du?
STANLEY H. KAPLAN gj
EDUCATIONAL CENTER '
Test Preparation Specialists Since 1938 WW
OPEN CAYS, EVENINGS. & WEEKENDS fS : j
For Information. Pleat* Call: f j; i
(#03 ) 256-0473 711B Saluda Ave. r ]
GRE" Classes Startlno Soon" 1,1
ipty space between each word. : I ;j
ash in advance