Historical Newspapers of South Carolina

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Letters Emperor Composed at Versailles To the Editor: After having dominated the pages of the Gamecock these many years in quality, of style and severity of tongue quite unmatched by anybody before or since; and after casting so many trunkfuls of pearls at indifferent, swinish ears that my wrists are (blush) limp with exhaustion; and after having lived through a harvest of Gamecock editors since Spring of '70, Day of the Barricades (quorum magna pars fuil); each more- conservative, mediocre, and mousy than the last-I have therefore decided to take leave of these dread pages forever but not without some final apologies. I publicly apologize - to both John Kenneth Adams of the Music Department and to David Starobin for my reviews of their respective concerts. I wrote fair reveiws (sic) for both artists but they were so badly expurgated and edited by the Gamecock staff that I was misrepresented as a critic. I have also been abused and spat upon as writer and editorialist for the Gamecock many times before those particular reveiws (sic)-largely, I belidve, out of adolescent spite and envy. When will the Gamecock staff learn how to spell and punctuate? When will they learn how to edit artistically and objectively and to report news efficiently and thoroughly? When will they learn how to choose typeface, create original layout and design-in short, learn to do ANYTH ING that resembles a college publication aspiring towards professional standards? Assuredly, it is hard work but in December, 1971, and in Spring of 1972, the Crucible did just that. But I see you've already BICY Quality Eusropean Manufaaturedt By: Sport. Mercier. Cini Colniago. Mauio Also custom-built frari machine tool work, wi In Cohi CATE'S C - B ox. Cedar Terrace 6420 Sumter Ph 776 1:15 to 8pa.m. N Offers Fir forgotten already if you ever noticed at all. For that, too, I depart for less indifferent pastures. One thing further; I havE noticed for some time, thE dominance, seniority, and senility of the M unchkin Twin Craft-Hope. Don't you think they deserve a gold watch for their manyV years of service? Personally, I'vE always thought the world belonged to the living, not the dead. But no; I'm talking to a mouse, not an editor. And, after all, they HAVE written one-half to three-fourthsol the paper this summer. In the unlikely event that you repent your STUPIDITY and desire to hav,e someone on your staff who is incisive, brilliant, and actually able to WR ITE, then you must first come to me and we will discuss MY terms. If not, then au revoir and good.riddance-I can nc longer abide your public enemas. And don't serve me a cut at the end of this letter because vous ne sauries meme pas de quelle crosse vous servir! Remaining your superior, I am Wagner Halselle Roberts Emperor of North America P.S. I dare you to print this-every word of it! And if you do, I've placed a bet you can't get through an entire English sentence without a mispelling (sic) and that you cammit a FAUX PAS with the French onel Ugh! I get nauseus (sic) just thinking about all the STUPIDITY in your office! I stick my tongue out to you! BLEAHHH HH H!!!!!! To the Editor: I noticed the letter of August 2, from Messrs. Simpson and Dugas and for some reason it particularly interested me. PEED CLES Ilicye%iFroml SlO() Liberia.. Mecrcian. Pari% i' sets, custom paint I o rk, ecI building sper-iai'd %. imbia See: oT TAG E 9342 Shopping Center Hwy. (29209) -1209 Ion. through Sat )a Words If I may be so bold I should publicly like to ask them to return to the paper, immediately. The fact is, I doubt if there is anyone on the staff who would deny that the paper has its faults. Granted, there is alot that is wrong with the Gamecock. Unfortunately, a lot is going to stay wrong with the paper if people like Simpson and Dugas don't make an effort to improve it. There is a saying that what you get out of something is directly proportional to what you put into it. Simpson and Dugas say the Gamecock is bad and then to show their disgust, they quit the staff. Wouldn't it be a more positive move to stay on with the paper and attempt to improve what they think is wrong with it? There are a lot of people on campus who like to criticize the Gamecock especially journalism students. Many of these same students have never worked on the staff of the paper in an attempt to improve its content. In other words, a lot of folks have found it easier to stand back and take shots at the paper while doing nothing constructive to make it better. The Gamecock has a lot of potential. It can and will be a great college paper only if the students who read it care enough about it to make a contribution -themselves to its success. I once played on a high school football team that had an incredibly disastrous season. (Not my only experience with personal disaster, I might add). Before the last game, the coach pasted a corny little sign on the locker room door. "Winners never quit; quitters never win." Or was it so corny? Thank you. Marshall Swanson St Mitzi Vivaldi Mitzi s Speak By Mitzi Vivaldi Dear Mitzi Vivaldi: I have had it with all of your i crackpot jokes, your obscene i double-entendres, your high-hat I attitude, and most of all, your face i that appears in my newspaper every issue. You are without a 1 doubt one of the most vituperative, < meanest, and altogether bitchiest 1 old ladies I have ever met, May the sweat of a thousand plague-infested camels iriundate youl May the waters of the [ Bangkok sewers wash your support hosiery and may you befriend a 5 yak in heat! And furthermore, your damned typerwriter keeps me awake at night. Get it up or get it E out. Your husband, t Antonio Vivaldi C Dear Antonio, When we were married back in 1926, my parents always said never to trust an Italian sucking on garlic toothpicks. I'm a liberated woman r now, baby. I even stopped wearing - | my bra back in 1947. You just g never took notice. Now get those r dishes washed before I get home r from bar-hopping tonight. Mitzi C Dear Mitzi Vivaldi: k Boy, I really did it this time. Remember last week I wrote you S about my mother coming over to t clean the house, and my having to c onday Nigt udent Speci *2.99 U.S. Choice Sirloin Choice of Potato Salad Bar . 741 SALUDA AVE. --- VI COLUMBIA, SOUTH CAl Man Up let all my girlfriend's things out? Nell, this week, the old bag moved ight in on me! Yep, just packed up nd packed in,..she's sleeping in an .xtra bed in my bedroom and she efuses to cook or clean. Just says 'm a big boy now and I can take :are of myself. Glenda (my lirlfriend) is hopping mad. She says hat I have to get rid of the old lady r she is going to throw me out of he house. What am I going to do? rhe house is in her name. Oh Boy... )ear Oh Boy, I have an extra bed. Why don't 'ou move right in? Mitzi )ear Mitzi Vivaldi, Last weekend this guy I broke ip with sent me a red light bulb vith a note "put this over your loor.'" What does that mean? Chere )ear Chere, Sociologically speaking, it can nean one of two things: he still ves you, or he thinks you have a reat career ahead of you. I have a ad light at my front door, but obody ever comes to see me. Mitzi :onfidential to everyone who nows Orlando: Big party at 301 Whaley Street aturday night, 8 p.m. on. Lots of ooze, and booze only Y'all ome...Mitzi it al Reservations POINTS tOLINA 29205