Historical Newspapers of South Carolina

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The Gutenburg Expe ADVICE Of BY HARRY HOPE gEi col Dear Incoming Freshmen- me As you know, you are about a b to embark upon your University the of South Carolina career. Unfor- ru tunately, many of you will not to return. This is a sad fact of USC life which old veterans like myself, know how to handle. The foll- the owing has been put together in the interest of public safety and sanity. We hope you will use it to your advantage in the long four years that lie ahead of you. run Frc nes ORIENTATION COUNSEL- Its ORS bu This is the first group of people cas you meet at good old USC. Watch out! They are mostly from the eve University Union or the Student to I Government, and either way, they ball are completely undesirable folks. Yo1 The Union spends many thou- Th4 sands of dollars a year trying to A impress their tastes upon you, the fee-paying citizens of the Car olina Community. They are so devoid of any business sense that, to put it into the words of one of USC's greatest wits and pun dits, "they couldn't run a lem onade stand on Green Street." The student government here is just as bad, if not worse. These turkeys have spent three years trying to get it together, and all they do is wind up giving the old "yas, suh" to the admin istration and the slightly insane board of trustees. gu One other word aboutOrientat ion counselors-girls, they desper- n ately want your bodies. Why else, other than the ego-trip, would C they be up to this in the first place? anf yo '^ Bu A cal HOUSING OFFICE You will find quickly that this group of clods puts to shame any bureaucratic, red-tape organization you have ever had to hassel with. This bunch is amazing-the mom ent you walk in, you will find a th secretary ready, willing and able to give you the old "female pro- 'ei blem" number-.r As you move higher up the th ladder (?), you will find ex-ser- sa -SAL E 25% OFF INNER CITY QLA DRAGS 2016 GREEN STREET (AT FIVE POINTS) -iment OFERED 1 its passing themselves off a nels, escapees from the loca tal hospitals and, in general, nch of jerks who only follow often-quoted yet never printet s-that is, if they know hom ?ad at all. EASURERS OFFICE rou will discover quickly thal University of South Carglins WEKCOME TO CAMPUSZ on one principle-MONEY 'n its vice-presiden for busi affairs all the way down t< :wliest instructors, the whole ness is the "greening of the 'ou will be billed for any and ything, from paying your feel uying jockstraps for the foot team to paying extra to gel r dormitory room swept out se people are astounding. HLETIC DEPARTMENT Prank McGuire is a pretty gooi but don't hsten to a wor I Dietzel has to say, or yo f wind up with Astroturf bec ets. MPUS POLICE Phis group Is, by far, the mos able, congenial group of cop would ever want to run intc there are a few bad applec umber of people have hear 1pus cops state something t effect that "if we run into pIe in the bushes, we leai i alone, if we are sure it's not e. Hell, we used to do the san ng when we were kids." All tk ne, don't cross them. Diamondi 2024 DEVINE STRI COLUA 0 INCOM I THE RUSSELL HOUSE You can get anything at the Russell House. However, if you hang around there constantly, you may find your mind rotting away into nothingness because, either in front or inside, this is where the cliques are. In front, you find feeble, mindless people acting like there is still a left-wing movement going on. Inside, you find Union and SGA people wrapped up in their own little ego-trips and the lhole thing gets pretty dismal. There is more in life than the Gamecbck' Room. THEWITH-IT ADMINISTRA TORS These people are dangerous. tey know you by sight, and often stop to talk with you. As much as they might try to appeai otherwise, they are all after one thing-a vice-presidency or evein the presidency. These fools are dangerous. They can rot youi mind and make friends with yot at the same time. Don't trust any. one with "Dean" or "Chairmar of the Committee" tacked before or after his name. RIGHT-WINGERS A smug, self-righteous bunch of effete snobs who, after they finish their conservative political activism here at USC, will inherit cushy jobs in the family business. They are losers from the word t s LEFT-WINGERS A dying breed who act like -rl iru ler and Watchs ET e FIVE POINTS 4S14, S C' ING FRESH Easy Rider came out yesterday. They areunified around one thing marijuana. And they are so busy 1 getting stoned they can't do any thing about anything and, con sequently, are a major disappoint ment to the people who thought I that the left-wing movement in V America wasn't a drug movement. i FREAKS C In September 1969; there were r 200 genuine, honest -to-Krishna politically motivated freaks (or "Heads," as they were called.) Today, a grea t number of USC students try to pass themselves off as freaks, not realizing that there have been struggles here at USC for their benefit. Long hair, beards, bra-less looks rarely get a second glance anymore. Most of the Freaks are people who have arrived after USC's traumatic Spring of 1970. In- the Fall of 1970, the whole place "started going to pot." MIDDLE OF THE ROADERS Actually, these can be quite conveniently and quite truthfully combined with the Freaks. After all, neither group really gives a damn about anything that's going on-as long as they can get drunk or stoned, they can be happy. The middle roaders are the sorriest bunch of turkeys that walk these hallowed halls today. They can't think. They can't work. All they CAMPUS C 900 MA In Septembe 199 FhreOMr st des rt as themelv s MEN vant to do is get in, and get out vith a degree. God save us all, >ecause herein lie the great maj )rity of USC students. As you can readily detect, you vill meet -people here - ho are he most fantastic people in the rorld-or the sorriest. You will meet clowns and creeps, bastards nd close friends. The University >f South Carolina Is just begin ing to get into a cosmopolitan tate of mind-that most desirable tate of being where this university an be anything you want it to e-from an Ivory Tower steri ization process to a gut-level re, ction arena. Good luck, Class of 1977. You ieed it.... What canyou learn by not ing the height of the early morning clouds during the summer months? The height of summer cumulus clouds gives you a important weather clue. In the coming summer months you might want to take ad vantage of this weather omen in making the day's plans. If the morning's early clouds are low. that- means there is . a considerable amount of moisture in the air, because the day's up drafts or .thermals are not rising very high before they turn into visible moisture droplets. Chances of rain are bet ter (from ' thundershoWers) than if the clouds form at a great height, which will be an indication that there is not as much moisture in the air since condensation is not taking place as quickly. UB, SOUTH IN ST. LTMOSPHERE htUSIC -PIZZA IL CLOSING ; -25C.-4-S GOODIES" THE So's -60's . IWN ALBUM. BALL THlE BEST" IS ON DEER I Id1