Historical Newspapers of South Carolina

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Hamburger Tar anc BY BOB CRAFT My old friend Stonerap's roommate, Mellowhead, came into the office the other day to register a complaint. He came to me because he knows I have vague connections with, the media and therefore I am probably more fit to listen to his gripe than the average jerk at Campus Club. "For Christ's sake Bob, I mean really...." he sort of trailed off to combine his syntax for a frontal assault on the problem. "You and I both know how much money that clown gets. Gets it everywhere. I mean jeez, it's just ridiculous..." Mellowhead furrowed his brow and fliced a wisp of brownish hair out of his eyes, "All he has to do is roll his eyes and the alumni fall over themselves to get at their checkbooks, they fill out blank checks and then loan him the pen to fill in the amount and beg him to make it large. The mind reels. It's a case of economic masochism on the part of an entire state," he shook his head. "Then this guy can't even turn out a decent football team where the aforesaid alumni can get drunk and have a good time. I mean, honest to Goodness how can you be cheerful when you're three and 0 and getting kicked in the ass again?" "Let's look at it this way. This * Letters Cheap punches TO THE EDITOR: A couple of cheap punches below the belt delivered by Mr. Beall have not at all dimmed my belief in a competitive grading. To characterize the members of the Gamecock staff as lazy was the last thing I intended. To any member of the staff who was of fended: my' humblest apology. Indeed, I have talked to the editor and found him to be a rational, down - to - earth individual (something I am unable to say about Mr. Beall). The list of ambitious students who fared well in schools is thousands of names longer than the very few Einsteins and Frosts who did not. The subjective thought, subjective this and subjective that. He offers no alternatives, which leads me to believe that he refuses to view the case OBJECTIVELY. Try it Mr. Beall; you'll like it. And now, let's talk about "Alternatives to Grades". You are still trying to pass the death sen tence on any student who desires to excel and also desires to read about it on his report card. I don't try to get good grades to please the teacher; I get' them to satisfy myself. Of alr your suggestions, the pass-fail with an "E" for the achievers pleases me the most. Please don't drag the achievers down to the level of the masses; a mere "P" would mean absolutely nothing to me. It would mean that I completed the work necessary to pass, but other than that, I did nothing extraordinary. I can't see ? how a plain pass-fail would stimulate anything (except beer and dope sales). The defense for competition rests. JOHN McGUIRE How? According to the "letters policy", "the Gamecock will no longer print every letter received." Wouldn't VOICE OF SOME OF THE PEOPLE be more appropriate? SPENCER STA RR I feathers state has a hang-up about drinking; namely, it loves to do it but is loathe to admit it. The only two places where restrictions are lifted are Charleston County and Carolina Stadium on Game Nights. "You see, it's really a case of the Cockpit being a huge brown bagging establishment and Dietzel simply arranges for the floor show," he shook his finger, "But he hasn't been keeping up his end of the bargain. I shudder to think what will happen to him when and if liquor-by-the-drink is passed in this state," Mellowhead shivered slightly. "People won't have to get drunk either at home or wait for Satur days in autumn, then where will the Pope be?" "I mean doesn't it all tickle your imagination to think of the stadium as a nightclub and Paul Dietzel as Texas Guinan? '(note: Texas Guinan was a legendary speakeasy owner during the 20's. She greeted EXCZL%IvE K II to be sty her customers with "Hello suckers! !" She later met a rather unfortunate end when Robert Benchley beat her to death with Ring Lardner.) Look at the I mean doesn't it all tickle your imagination to think of the stadium as a nightclub and Paul Dietzel as Texas Guinan? similarities! You have chorus girl cheerleaders who flirt but don't get close, a rather annoying band, absurd souvenirs that look good nowhere except the stadium, eats that cost a fortune and so bad you can't finish them, and a multi million dollar floor show that has been perfected over long hours of II % ish again' practice by the performers. "Doesn't it say anything at all that we have the "best" cheerleading squad in the nation, the "best marching band in the country, and the athletes are quartered in extreme luxury compared to the rest of the students and yet we can't get it together for either adequate parking or a film department?" (Mellowhead is an off-campus film freak.) "You know, it wouldn't be so damned bad if Dietzel could at least win a few, but his pious good loser speeches are starting to gt on my nerves. "I mean, even though I really don't give a damn about the football team, I feel as though I'm being cheated out of top dollar. After all, I'm paying a lot of bread to support that miniature army. It's a matter of thrift, you know. If r " 1, we were winning I wouldn't feel luite as cheated as I do now. "And it's bad for family morale. Vdy old man came down last veekend to do the family bit, you mow, college rah-rah with grown. ip son, You know 'Uh, well, son we lone beat that old team yessir, our amecocks gone pull through this week' I hadda helluva time getting aim to put away that raccoon coat. ['hen on the way back from the ;tadium," what the bell was wrong with MY Gamecocts. MY Dietzel, I felt the way I did when I was in he third grade and brought home a ad report card." Mellowhead shook his head and said quietly, 'He tried to order me to get a haircut, he was so frustrated and ipset." Mellowhead looked up at me, 'you know, if he loses the Clemson game, tar and feathers may once again come into style."