Historical Newspapers of South Carolina

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Hoppe: By ARTHUR HOPPE Columnist At this very moment, Govern ment computers are busily compiling burgeoning banks of personal data on you and me and our fellow citizens. This revelation by Senate in AT BUR Come to Burg the hot, golde .bun with iettt delicious. And are FREEI Yoi Cost when yoi No coupon no 1211 Col Campus I 1400 Cha 2902 Twc T.he n vestigators has created widespread alarm. Typical is the reaction of my milkman, Mrs. O'Hanrahan (cq) Mrs. O'Hanrahan is alarmed that she may not be on any Government list. "No one," she says nervously, likes to be left out these days:" To reassure Mrs. O'Hanrahan VMTH A NHALER GER KING MARC er King* and wade into a Wha4 n, tender fish sandwich served c ice and tangy tartar sauce. lt's to make it more enjoyable, the F get a generous, crispy order ol a buy your Whaler. Offer good I eded. Bring the family to Burger Available only at age St. (Opposite Drayton He lorse Horshoe Columbia, S.C. leslan Hw. (Near K-Mart), W Notch Rd. (At Belt tine R n wh and other panicked Americans that their Government is indeed aware of them, we present herewith the unique life story of Grosbert Grommet. Grosbert had the good fortune to be born in the carriage of a gas ballon somewhere over Perth. Amboy, N.J. (cq) His father, H 6-19 trl Discover n a toasted absolutely rench Fries them at no larch 6-19. King I ill and ist Columbia Ivd.) so didn Gridwell, a noted balloonist and. anarchist, decided on landing not to register Grosbert's birth. In fact, he decided never to register Grosbert for anything. "I want you to devote your life son," he told the growing lad, "to keeping the Government ignorant of your existence. True, the Government will never do anything for you. But you'll never have to do anything for the Government. Believe me, you'll come out way ahead." So Gridwell didn't register the boy for school, but tutored him at home instead. Nor did he sign him up for the Boy Scouts, enroll him in YMCA camp or even list him as a tax deduction. In fact, Grosbert's name never appeared on a scrap of paper anywhere. Once, young Grosbert rebelled, decided to run away to Zamboanga and went down to get a passport. When the clerk demanded proff of birth, Grosbert pounded himself on the chest and pointed out 'he existed. The clerk naturally replied that wasn't good enough. "The Government doesn't even know I'm alive," Gosbert com plained to his father. "Exactly," said his father, rubbing his hands. "Therefore you needn't register for the draft." This convinced Gosbert. From then on he devoted every waking moment to preventing the Government from learning of his existence. It wasn't easy. He went to a free university that didn't keep records. To avoid registering for Social Security, he joined a hippie commufity and threaded love beads for a living. Spear s veto (Continued from pg. 1) Sen. Jennings submitted an amendment to the overriden bill placing the nomination of class of ficers in the fall. She was unable to amend the legislation because the Senate had voted it into law. Speii-s spoke to the Senate a second time during the meeting and said, "I vetoed a bill you gave me setting the nominations on March 8. By the time you got the vetoed bill back, that date had passed. As a former vice president, I must say the attempt to change the date should have been made before you voted. You must now write another bill. 'Ihere can be nothing done to this bill. You can submit a new bill to the chair and start debate, but there is nothing I can do with this bill.'The bill is passed and Is history," .Spears said. GAME THNE GAMECOCK is published tri-weem and weekly during the summer 'semes holidays and exam periods. Change of ad other mall items shouldbe sent to Draw scription rates areSl7per year or $3 per fi summer sessions. Bulk copies are $6 i received $39,000 from the student activt subscription to the paper. Offices of THE of the Russell House on the UJniversity cal 777-4220. Second class postage paid GAMECOCK is published by the Unive expressed herein do not necessarily re student body or the staff. Editsr-a.cbie..... t exist He couldn't, of course, own a house, a boat, a c4r, a telephone, a bank account or any shares in General Motors. Nor could he take out a driver's license, apply for welfare or open a charge account. And when he fell in love with Irma, they had to live in sin. On the other hand, as he was fond of telling Irma, he never paid a nickel in taxes, served a day in the Army or spent an hour on jury duty. "All in all," he said happily, "father was right!" Unfortunately, this started an argument. Grosbert lost . his temper and strangled Irma with a $3.98 set of love beads. Ie was tried, convicted and sentenced to death. "But you can't execute me," Grosbert confidently told the Judge, "becauseI don't exist." This caused a nationwide furor. Gosbert was taken beore the Great Central Computer in Washington. It clicked, whirred and issued a tape which read: "THERE IS NO GOSBERT GROMMET." "See!" cried Grosbert trium phantly. "I told you..." But of course, at that very in stant, he vanished in a puff of acrid smoke. (Copyright Chronicle Publishing Co. 1971) Excutives' (Continued from pg. 1) not needed. If they are abolished .they will not be missed by the student body. The mere existence of class officers causes confusion in the student body. The student body must speak with one voice," Spears said. Spears also said class officers have no financial backing, no peers, and no following and they zill never find a place except in high schools or grammer schools. The President said, "I think the Student Senate on its original vote favored class officers because of a lack of experience in dealing with them. The Senate still does not understand. 'They have only heard one-sided debate and It was very childish," he said. "T'he Senate defeated its own bill Wednesday and I will take no responsibility for It," Spears said: Referring to the resignation of Sen. Wheeler, Spears said, "I think it is unfortunate. I think the Senate will suffer by her absence, but I personally feel her act was Im mature and childish. To loose Is not the biggest defeat," Spears said, "but to give up." COK iy during the tat l and spring semesters ters with the exception of University dress forms, subscription requests and ~er A, USC, Columbia, S.C. 29208. Sub Ii and spring semesters and S1 for both ser 100. THE ,GAMECOCK this year y fund, entitling fullme students to a GAMECOCK are In Rooms 308 and 310 nipus. Phones are 777-8178, 777-4249 and at Columbia. S.C. Although THE rsity, of South Carolina, the opinions present those of the University, thie . s-.. , --hr9s. see