The gamecock. (Columbia, S.C.) 1908-2006, March 01, 1968, Page Page Four, Image 4
*les
SEX IS ... well, ah, um, sort of, um, involving ... well,.
ah um, sort of, um ... and we like it because . .. well, um,
ah huh, it's sort of, um.
In reading some "pornographic" literature, Webster's
Collegiate Dictionary, fifth edition, we found a little item!
that should have been included in the 'ol COCKEYED
column. Sex, defined (in case your mommy or daddy forgot;
the dictionary definition) as: 1. One of the two divisions of
organisms formed on the distinction of male and female;
males or females collectively. 2. The character of being male
or female, or of pertaining to the distinctive function of the I
male or female in reproduction, is followed closely by the I
definitions of sexagenarian-a person of from sixty to sixty
nine, and sexennial-lasting six years, or happening once in
six years. Thought we had something revolutionary to tell
you, didn't you? Well, um, you were faked out, folks!
Now that we have your undivided attention, let's give
three cheers for the little boy who told his dad, "I under-,
stand all that stuff about the birds, Pop, but what's this
bee's business?" It's all explained in Webster's seventh and
if you don't understand, is it possible that we would be cen
sored if we tried to explain it to you?
In answer to the note on our bulletin board in the Game
cock office that Ronnie Bi ooks is not engaged, may we take
up a few lines to express gratitude for the unconditiorial
support of the enthusiastic Cocktales reader who retorted:
on the bottom of the note in black magic marker (we aren't
sure whether that has any significance, or not), "Yes he is
I read it in The Gamecock."
Moving on to more important things, it's time to offer
our congratulations for outstanding achievement to . . . the
Phi Ep, who when pulled by a policeman for not having
license plates on his car appeased the law officer by showing
his recent bill of sale for the car. He spent some hours in
jail because he didn't have his driver's license. We also offer
the prize for jolly Green Giant intelligence award to the
young man who called his girl at a South Towers phone
number for almost an hour in the lobby of Capstone while
wondering why she didn't answer.
To the perplexed administrators who can not under-!
stand why the Capstone (no curfew) dorm has not attracted
enough Carolina women to fill -it tip, may we suggest that
in accordance with accepted definitions, the best way to
add girls is to add boys. What we really mean is "well, ah,
um, AH HUH, sort of. UM!"
Speaking about rules, we think there ought to be a law
. against campus police who ticket parked cars in front
of South Towers when the cars have people in them . . . that
housernothers (or hostesses, whichever the case might be)
who flirt with their dormitory residents' dates ought to wear
mini-skirts . . . that snow should be outlawed on the beaches
of Hilton Head . . . against professors who assign quizzes on
Saturday . . . that baggs don't have to be brown . . . that red
dots are acceptable anywhere, regardless of whether they
are accompanied by pink elephants or green water buffalos.
LAVALIERED
Stuart Shubin (Phi Epsilon Pi) to Sandy Gilpin (Gamma
Tau at Massey Business College, Atlanta, Ga.) and Susan
Holder (Kappa Delta) to Ronnie Colvin (Theta Chi at Pres-'
byterian College, Clinton).
PINNED)
Sheryl Lemar (Zeta Taui Alpha) to Jerry Wunder (Kappa
Alpha) and Kathy Hlummers (Zeta Tau Alpha) to Charlie
Mack (Pi Kappa Alpha).
MARRIED
Beverly Self (Zeta Tau Alpha) to Earl Hewlett (Pi
Kappa Alpha alumnus).
absolutely LADYBUG*
The lonp-sleeved buttondown shirt in
thin, fresh-feeling cotton, thickly
flowered with small
clovers in Forgetmenot,
Tangerine. or Shamrock.
5to 15. The classic
fy-front slacks are
fully lined Dacron
*match, plus Azalea,
Daffodil, Honeydew,
White. 3 to 15.
Blouse, 7.
Pants, ~15.
ERRNYS
on main
S* "hln "Mii SURREY SHOP
Eagle
He's A
By JERRY CALABRESE
Staff Writer
A survey was taken recently as
a public service to the male popu
lation of USC. According to the
findings, the bulk of Carolina's
co-eds prefer the following speci
man: tall, 6 feet and above, blue
eyes or if not in stock, green eyes
(we had no requests for brown or
black orbs), long eyelashes, good
build, kind, sweet, courteous,
thrifty, brave, clean and reverent.
He doesn't have to he an Eagle
Scout or have a car, but it helps.
One co-ed said her guy had to
know "all the moves." It was
necessary for this young lady to
reiterate due to my lack of world
ilness.
When a lovely group of women
was asked what they noticed first,
Sororities (
Spring Infc
Informal !sorority rush ended
last week as the five eligible so
ror*ities gained 1: new l' Iedges.
The prospective Sororities and
their pledges are as follows:
KAPPA KAPPA G.\A%MA
Cathy Strange, Winnsboro; Dar
bra Darker, Atlanta, Ga.; Nancy
Thom psonl, Cha rleston; Lou Ani
Scarborough, Charleston.
KAPPA DEl,TA
K 1
Margaret Aiken, Greenville.
DELTA ZETA
Carol Foxworth.
ALPHA EPSILON PHI
Sandra Biaker, Charleston: Janis
Fechter, Columbia; )ianne Lati
Music Fraternity
In1stalls Officials
Phi Mu Alpha, professional
music fraternity, recently elected
and installed new officers for this
semester. Thev are as follows:
Hampton Cobl, president; Larry
Lawson, vice president; 11obby
Prunty, treasurer; Lloyd Thomp
kins, recording secretary; IHill Dle
loac'h, corresponding secretar. ;
and Al Nelson, warden-historian.
lI r. D)avid G. Phillips is the fra
t.ernity's newavsr
En hs Pro vi se pr.s a re - ir
Se th c
tho e ohae fam
COMPEO
cout 0
Perfecl
one girl conceded that "sex" in
general turned her on.
Some of the least requested
characteristics were: lips, one
young lass said she just loved
lips, in fact she would love to (late
a 180-lb. lip. Freckles were low
on the popularity list, along with
moles, scars and dimples. There
was only one request for a long
n1ose.
One girl said she just loved
clean teeth.
"llere I Ai" was the reply of
one subject when asked what
would be the perfect dlate.
One of the most sought-after
attributes is what is known as
"cool." When asked to explain,
this young woman summed it up
by saying, "lie can't he too ana
nmal istic."
et Pledges
ormal Rush
mer, Nashua, New liampshire;
liene Rothberg, Columbia.
CIII OMEGA
Henrietta Freeman, Bennetts
ville; Cathy Testa, Palm Beach,
Fla.: and Pam Wofford.
Tri-Delt Will
Give $1,000
Scholarship
Applications for the annual
1)elta )elta lelta (Tri-Delt)
Service Project Scholarship Award
are due today. All full-time
undergladuate women students on
campus are eligible to apply.
A pplicants should he well-quali
fied students, showing promise of
valuale sf-rv ice in the i r chosen
field., ani future c I ml imun it ies.
Acadvmini achievement reords,
extra-curricular campus activities
and financial uneed will be the
principl points considered for the
award. All local winners are
automatically eligible for one of
the $1000 national Tri-Ielt service
project awards.
A pplications are available from
and should he submitted to the
Tr-i-Ilielt service chairman Rae
If.riun, Capstone 715; the D)ean
of WometItn o.r te lii rector of Fi
nlanciaul A id byv la rch 1.
ur favorite
..as featured in
Badrton's
IPINION
TITION
omplete
lectlion as well as
(ed silversmiths at
[k's
UMRTA
r Car
Date
Heavy beards seem to be the
order of the (lay. The girls seem
to like that 5:00 shadow look.
One sweet young thing stated
that her (late would have to be
kind of wirey, and sort of lean
and hungry. When asked what
she preferred his diet to be, the
caller hung up.
When confronted with the ques
tion of passes, one apparently vi
vacious co-ed said she didn't mindi
'em if they "listen when you say
no!"
One dark-eyed temptress licked
her pouting lips and purred, "I
look for what he has to offer."
When asked what they thought
their interviewer looked like from
the sound of his voice, the general
consensus was varied. The inter
viewee felt that this reporter was
between 5-9 and 6-2; body build
varied from lanky to hefty. Not
one caller thought yours truly had
blue eyes.
Some of the other attributes
named were banana nose, big feet,
nice mouth, long eyelashes, nice
teeth, wavy hair anti pointy ears.
All of the above were incorrect,j
the truth is that this reporter is:
bald, 5-2. 247 lbs., no teeth,
crooked nose, and colorless eyes.
Anyone wishing to date (with in
tention to marry), please write
Box U850.
Special thanks go out to "Chip
munk and the Gang."
Tuesd
9:00 a.r
Bringing you more
have wan 190 Ira
you the same pe
convenience that,
A
~782-5O600
Berry's-On-M oin
~23
"Loally
Lamixa Chi takes essentia
ing. Gov. Robert McNair prev
to L Carter Crewe as Thoni
sultant, looks on.
Lambda C
Corporati
Thomas 13. Pollard Jr. and Car
ter Crewe were recently presented
with a charter of incorporation for
the Lambda Chi Alpha Fraternity
by Gov. Robert E. McNair.
Lambda Chi Alpha Inc. of Co
lumbia, S. C. was founded last
November to establish the Epsilon
Psi Zeta chapter as a non-profit
organization, and to provide a
legal entity for raising and main
taining building funds for a fra
ternity house off the University
campus. The Lambda Chi Alpha
Vque Stln
0.
is open in
wive Points
3y thru Satur
2215 evineStree
Teehn:2683
1.t 50 p. - usa-huS
225SCvn Streets
oftmer inaward-iv
rordially on
Owned.. .IAnternationally Ki
staff Phote by Coate" Crowe
I step for off.campus hous.
ents charter of Incorporation
as B. Pollard, Jr., w con.
hi Alpha
n Forms
Alumni Corporation was merged
with the corporation.
Dean Harold Brunton, vice
president of business affairs, said
that the corporation was an es
sential step in seeking off-campus
housing for USC fraternities.
Crewe said that the housing
corporation indicates that "fra
ternities are prepared to accept
housing responsibility and to aid
administrators in alleviating the
critical housing shortage problem
of fraternities."
day
urday
~ning stylists-who
fashion. Giving
ompe fence, and
Vogue Stylon.
ited
K 5-35
Bush River Rood
256-0323
'own",