Historical Newspapers of South Carolina

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D/AVE I Thinking 4 During the last few decadent decades there have been quite a few semantic encroachments on the King's English. Several of the more prominent ones were brought to my attention and thought the explication may be of some interest. Words like "swell" and 'so's-your-old-man"; but even of more recent vintage, words of the pentagon jargon and McNamara - ease, which is somewhat akin to the Brooklyn variety but much less intelligible and depending more on the coin age rather than the mispronun ciation of words. First, we'll consider the RACE TO THE MOON, sometimes called the MOON RACE. The primary participants in this contest are the NOT family, ASTRO AND COSMO who ride around in MERCURY CAPSULES which is somewhat swifter than a '49 Ford with mudflaps and a coon tail and high speed hub caps. The MERC'S are pitted against the NIC'S, SPUT? MUT, and MOON. Of course, in this race, one or the other is bound to get ahead and this creates a MISSILE GAP I met a man today, in the midst of an outwardly uncon cerned city. I found him, well past seventy; or he found me, well past sixteen, because of a cup of coffee and a cigarette. I had asked him for a match. le talked about the harm of tobacco. The Lord. Belief that must be turned into action. About a Rich America and all her people poor. lie asked where was I at. The University. lie said, "What a fine place," and "I hope there is more praying there than sport." I met a man today in the midst of a seemingly unconcerned city. He wore a worn and faded, more than likely dirty, blue and white and black shirt . . . no label. lie wore no socks, but lie had no socks to wear. iIe wore a good and true heart on his shirtsleeve while he drank a cup of coffee, his lunch, at Kress'. People are everywhere. Our worlds are too small to see them. And we are too cool to care. J. Drake THE BELL SALUTE: From the time he joined Patton (B.S.E.E., 1958) } agement with his engin Given the job of desi, between the central office Clem found ways to desi the engineering problem, Because of such crea 1ENRY'S Out Loud which has the same result a Chaucer's gapped toothed maidei -anyway everybody gets rea passionate. The term MISSILI GAP is also used to describe th space between the missiles a Cape Kennedy. Another interesting race t, watch is the ARMS RACE. Con trary to popular belief, this is no similar to a foot race. Rather i is concerned with things lik, MEGA DEATHS, OVERKILL: MASSIVE RETALIATION, ANI FALLOUTS. To take these term up in order r,entioned; when on side decides he has a favorabl lead the arms race begins. It be gins inconspiculously enough witl the pushing of a button. Th other side then begins its MAS SIVE RETALIATION by sayin "A-OK" . . . 4, 3, 2, 1. The im mediate result is MEGADEATIH: (lots of people are atomized), an then OVERKILLS (people wh are already dead are killed agai: this time for keeps), and the comes FALLOUT (since ther won't be anybody left to do thi its definition would be superflu ou; ). Before this race begins, a the ground and air rules are diE cussed at at SUMMIT MEETIN( Of course, some protectiv measures have been taken to tr to prevent this race from bein run. For instance, there are tw new types of WARS, LIMITE] AND COLD. LIMITED mean the two belligerents find a neutrf arena and fight like hell unt the contest gets too expensivi Then everybody meets at th SUMMIT, just like before th ARMS RACE. The COLD WA: is an irregular type war wher one side ships wheat and vodka t the other side - wouldn't it be riot if someone got tight on th. Vodka and pushed the butto that starts the ARMS RACE? The two sides are separated b CURTAINS, both IRON an BAMBOO, and the whole entii mess is called the NEW FROr TIElt. "The enthusiasm of this counti always makes me think of a boi fire on an ice-floe. It burns brig1 as long as you feed it, and it lool good, but it doesn't take hol somehow, on the ice." - Doole3 TELEPHONE CLEM PATTO Southern Bell in Nashville, Clem tas continually impressed his man ering ab)ility. sning telep)hone cable connections and( new resi(dntial sub)divisions, gn connections that expertly met and yet, kept costs to a minimum. Live engineering talent, Clem was Bills, B Are S t Writer Men tic 'Two Kinds 0 t t By CAROL ROBINSON Feature Staff Writer , Ever heard of "Creeping Super ) ficiality"? Watch out for it this Christmas, e people. It's happening to the un e wary ones of us who depend on - department store windows and h television commercials to give us e the Christmas Spirit. The first - symptom is the cry, "Oh, no!' when one is told that the day is - only two weeks away. It's danger ous, this C.S., because we begin I thinking of Christmas as a time o to run up bills, borrow money, n squeeze a big present from a rich n uncle, dodge those collectors-for e charity that roam the streets, hunt 8 down bargains, and replace all the - ornaments that were broken, losi i or generally used up last year Some mutter angrily because they must buy gifts for peop'" jusi e because they buy them for us, anc Y we must pay such an amoint foi 0 gort L eg,Gort! There comes il Daniel...the guy who Hogwash! survived the Lions Den! e -e yl cs 19 ..l. COMPANIES N selected by his company to attend Engineers Training Course at Be of the course, Clem will return t increased responsibilities that awa Clem Patton, like many youn, to make things happen for his com are few places where such restles or rewarded than in the fast-gro BELL TELEPHONE orrowi uperficJ ns Traditions, f Christmases' a present because that's how much i the receiver will spend on ours. Such people invariably end up with worried frowns, big bills anyway, gifts wrapped by the store just like every other gift wrapped by the store, and a feel ing of sympathy for good old Ebenezer Scrooge. The Holly and the Styrofo am All this makes Christmas super ficial. The green and the red, the deep evergreen wreaths and the red satin bows, have almost disappeared, to be replaced by gold and white, plastic wreaths frozen Christmas dinners, alumi num trees, blinking lights in win dows, cardboard Santa Clauses and readymade hows for giftwrap ping. Christmas is for people. Christ mas is time for cold outside and warm inside, for the smell of spruce, for velvet and corduroy. for wax candles, for singing, for lJ'mear y'don't I 'elievr do him? Vnot! Doesn't mean Well?... Don't a thing!...He you believe always did smell him now?! a bit gamy! the Telephone Operating 11 Labs. Oni completion a Southern Bell and the uit 1im there. engineers, is impatient pany andl himself. There sness is nmore welc omed wing telephone business. COMPANIES * SMMM g & Bai ality In th- excitement t children, for big green trees that drop needles on paper-littered carpets, for pepper mint, for dinners that take time r to cook and time to clean up, for reading Dickens and C I e m e n t Moore, for giving people gifts to make them happy, for making colorful amateurish decorations, C for hiding things in closets and APO Now Has Sale Of Cards To let your friends know you're .hinking about them, and show ;hem that you're still in college, send them A P 0 Christmas cards. Designed by A P 0 members, two styles of cards are available, 'ach selling for $1 per package with twelve cards in each pack. Members will deliver the cards to faculty officers - c.o.d. - and solicit door-to-door in the dorms u n t i l Christmas vacation begins. They will also man booths in the downstairs lobby at Russell House and in the lobby of South Dormi tory. For the third season, Carolina's Iota Mu chapter of Alpha Phi Omega, a national service fratern ity, is selling Christmas cards in order to finance their charity work. A P O's main projects are a Christmas party for local orphans. the Polio Drive, and contributing to the Greater University Fund as an effort to expand parking facili ties on campus and student seating in the fieldhouse. In previous years, the card has depicted various aspects of the Carolina Campus, notably the Rus sel House and Carolina's "memo rial to mankind" the McKissick Library. This season, the design of the card features an engraving of the historic Maxey Monument. Chapter President, Ed Strother, "in his infinite wisdom," has deemed it necessary to order more cards than in previous years to meet the expected increase in demand. BOX BOUNTIFUL. $2.00 PE R LB. WEW PROe No dripping, no spilli Old Spice Pro-Electr skin areas from razor your beard for the ci most comfortable sha C;HU1L A Christmas Epic By ANONYMOUS By Better Judgement 'Twas a week before Christmas And all through the dorn All the creatures were stirring, 'Twa,. two in the morn Man% were eramming ('Tis a USC rule '7i1t all profs give exams On the day we leave aehool) Others laid stockings In suitcases with care With thoughts about HOME And how soon we'd be there When out onl the horseshoe There arose a great clatter Wtich moved on to South And no ome knew the matter Girls stared fron their window Bewildered and pensive; Campus cops eyed the crowd And looked appretensive When what to their wondering eye Should the, see - Hut a jolly fat nan, In a red XKE Ile spoke not a word Hut reached into his sack .And to each bo) presented A shiny six-pack Knee socks and No-doze And stereos fine Signed excused-cut-slips (And stuff that won't rhyme) Then a Camnecock reporter Appeared on the scene. And answering his questionrt. Old Santa came clean: "My reindeer. he said. "Are at (Icemson right now : 4 student there took them - iHe thought the" were cows. "Hut their chum mistake ;onhldr't stop m" career - 1'm just having to visit y'all Early this 'ear." 'Iten he pushed the ignition "tnd tti%ing a nod Around (reei Street he roared In hi- speed% hot rol ilut we heard himtt e elait Ere he drme ont of sight Reat (letsun in basketball Mlerr" C:hristmas . Goodndight.". IReader's IReviewer The Mothers marks the first appearance (of Rlbert Briffault's great work in paperback. When first publiished in 1 %7 the original multi-volumie stud llVwas immefdi at ely accla imed! as a1 worIk (of the first m timpotne. Ti me h:as con-f firumed its import ance and The Mot hers has he4(m fir 1 mly estabi ished as a mia.r contrcibution te he intellect ual h ist ory of the twenltieth century. The Mothers was written to dis prove the long standing assumnp tioln that tlmonm was the normal P a t t C r' n (of marriage throughout hu man history, and that polygamyh repre4sented a de generation of this original state. In the process. Briffault sought toI establish an alternate4 t*Iheory - that a primitive matri:archy uni v'ersally precededl paitriarchyi. gains Season ieeking too, for pianos and trum ets and whole orchestras, for ecking the halls with holly and naking the Yuletide gay. Two Kinds of Cliristmam'. Go into one house on Christmas - the house with the Santa in the himney and the colored lights round the porch. Inside you'll robably find last year's synthetic ree sitting on a table, spreading ts cellulose branches above a few ectangular packages wrapped by usy clerks in the local store. 'hanc"es are you'd prefer the home 6ith the real wreath on the door, nd the real tree that reaches to he ceiling and has the bad side gair.st the wall, and the strangely haped gifts with the multicolored aper. These people don't pull out ast year's Christma,s to use agaian nd save money; these people pull ut the Christmas of centuries, naking it individual for them elves, fresh every year. They night even go to church on Christ nas Eve. Perhaps you don't believe in santa Claus. Perhaps you don't ook for a bigger star than usual in Christmas Eve. Perhaps you ike silver trees and rock-and-roll 'hristmas songs. Perhaps you iever felt thrilled when you heard Oh, Holy Night" sung by a good >aritone. Perhaps you think Tiny Fin is stickier than Dondi and 'ou never liked Dickens anyway. erhaps cedar make- you sneeze mnd hanging tinsel drives you 'razy and the last time you tried o wrap a present yourself you nded up with i lopsided bow. a orn corner, and the price still in ide. You aren't a victim of C'.S., ecause nearly all of us are guilty if at least one of theso offense-. ['here's nothing really wrong with tore windows, and aluminum .roes, and electric candl.''- and rift - wrapp:ng dvpartmnat; and antas in gild su-dits that play '.1ingle Bell Rock" when you wind .hem up; there's noth:w wrong vith them at all, a- long as you're :areful. But if you slip too far, you may kill that living, breathing, excit ,ble spark inside yourself that is ?ntranced by Christmas. You'll need that piece of child iood all your life. s T set CAsWDY O9 tMft SOUTa ~oc ng! Covers completely! c protects sensitive / pull, burn. Sets up eanest, closest, 'e ever! 1.00 TO N