The gamecock. (Columbia, S.C.) 1908-2006, May 11, 1962, Page Page Three, Image 3
Cocky" f ROMy Rakin.
9
All you people out there in the Carolina Community; the Fea
ture staff and I would like to thank you for a wonderfully re
sponsive semester - you have been a pleasure to plot for, patient
in absence of pictures and polite in the face of mistakes. Please
remember, suggestions are appreciated and we strive to improve
-tell us what you'd like to see on page 3. Meanwhile, through
the haze of nostalgia and midnight oil, bless you for your atten
tion.
Rosemary Hankins
(Author of "I Was a Teen-age Dwarf", "The Many
Loves of Dobie Gillis", etc.)
CRAM COURSE NO. 5: SHAKESPEARE
Continuing our series of pre-final exam cram courses, today we
take up the works of William Shakespeare (or "The Bard of
Avon" as lie is jocularly called).
First let us examine the persistent theory that Shakespeare
(or "The Pearl of the Antilles" as he is affectionately referred
to) is not the real author of his plays. Advocates of this theory
insist that the plays are so full of classical allusions and learned
references that they couldn't possibly have been written by
the son of an illiterate country butcher.
To which I reply, "Faughl" Was not the great Spinoza's
father a humble woodcutter? Was not the immortAl Isaac
Newton's father a simple second baseman? (The elder Newton,
incidentally, is one of history's truly pathetic figures. He was,
by all accounts, the greatest second baseman of his time, but
baseball, alas, had not yet been invented.) It used to break
young Isaac's heart to see his father get up every morning, put
on uniform, spikes, glove, and cap, and stand alertly behind
secondl base, bent forward, eyes narrowed, waiting, waiting,
waiting. That's all-waiting. Isaac loyally sat in the bleachers
and ye!lled, "G(ood show, Dad !" and stuff like that, but every
onie else in town used to snigger and pelt the Newtons with
overrip~e fruit - figs for the elder Newton, apples for the younger.
Th'lus, as we all know, the famous occasion camne about when
Isaac New~ toni, struck in the head with an apple, leapt to his
feet, shouted, "Europa !" and announced the third law of
motion: "For every action there is an opposite and equal
react ion!
(h ow profoundly true these simple wordIs are!l Take, for
examle, Marlboro Cigarettes. Light one. That's the action.
Now what is the reaction? Pleasure, dlelight, contentment, cheer,
and1 comnfort! And whly such a happy reaction? Because you have
started with a happy cigarette-a felicitous b)lendh of jolly to
bacecos, ai goodl-naIltuIred filter, a rollicking flip-top box, a me'rry
soft p)ack. As Newton often said, "You begin with better
mmakin's, you end with better smokin's." Small wonder they
called him ''The Swedish Nightingale I").
But I digress. Back to Shakespeare (or "The Gem of the
Ocean" as he was ribaldly appelated).
Shakespeare's miost import.ant play is, of course, Ham/et (or
Mlarbeth, as it is sometimes called). This play tells in living
color the story of I hamlet, Prince of D)enmark, who one night
sees a ghost upon01 the battlements. (Possibly it is a goait he
sees: I have a first folio edition that is frankly not too legible.)
Anyhow, llamlet is so up)set by seeing the ghost (or goat) that
lie stabs Polonius andl Bare Bodkin. iIe is thereupon banished
to a leather factory b)y the King, who cries, "Get thee to a
tannery I" Thereupon Ophielia refuses her food until La4ertes
shouts, ''et thee to a beanery I" Ophelia is so miffed that she
ebases her little (log out of the room, crying, ''Out, out dlained
Spot!' She is fined fifty shillings for swearing, but Port.ia, ini
an eloquent plea, gets the sentence coummiutedl to life imprison
nment. Tlhereupon King Lear and Queen Mab p)roclaim a festi
val --complete with amateur theatricals, kissing games, and a
pie-eating contest. Everyone has a p)erfectly splendid time till
Bampmo's ghost (or goat) shows up. This so unhinges Richard
II I thait he drownis his cousin, Butt Mahmnsey. This leads to a
lively disc'ussion dulrinig which everyone is killed. The little dog
Spiot returnms to utter the immortal curtain lines:
A lark, the play forsoothi was sad and( sobby,
lit be of cheer--there's Mlarlboros in the lobby,!
0 1962 Max Shulman
As the slinlgs and( arrows of out rageous finals loom closer,
perchancle the makers of Marlboro are not untoward to offer
this friendly suggestion: Get thee to a library!
.Olumbia Then and Now
The second in a two-part- se- ti
'ies on Columbia history from b
)Id and New Columbio, by J. F. n
Williams.
"The city was sixty-six years tj
>ld when I came here; having 'v
ibout thirty-five hundred inhabi
ants, an average gain of about o
'ifty a year. It was a very slow I
,rowth, and it seemed that what il
dd Mr. Tylor said when he sold s
he land to the State, was going v
0 be true - that they were de- r
troying a mighty good plantation li
or a d--- poor town" t
Looking back from the vantage f
)oint of 1929, Williams reveals t
;ome amazing details about the k
ife and times of the Columbia of a
in earlier day. y
"In Broad River," he writes, r
' . there used to be an island
lbout three acres large. It was
rery fertile and a great place for )
vatermelons. It was cultivated (I
wery year and was called Nas- C
;au. It was a great place for the h
;ports to go on Sunday and fight
hickens. Many have lost their
ives there." (Mr. Williams does I
lot elaborate.) t
The town had some fascinating t
hiaracters to recommend it. t
Music and Rules V
"Old Mr. Robert Bryce used to -
)e a large dealer in smoked Buf- 1:
'alo tongues, selling thousands of r
hem. He was an old Scotchman t
md straight as a shingle . . IIe r
lid a sister, an old maid, Miss
fane, who was one of the best of v
vomen. She spent all of her t
noney on the poor. You could see V
ier any Sunday taking a crowd t
;0 Washington Street Church, of r
vhich they were members. On one
>ccasion she was going to church I
it night and there was a cow V
ying across the pavement, which I
vas a very common sight then, I
is cows ran in the streets all the
,ime. She would not make the cow
ret up so she started to step over
ier; as she did the cow raised up C
vith Miss .ane on her back and '
-an off with her but she did not
'et hurt. . . .
"There was an outstanding free t
egro here. IIe was Joe Randel. h
le was a bandimaster and taught o
mnds all over the country. He
vas a remarkable musician. . . .
I'here was no white hand here,
And the negro hand turned out
)n all occasions where a band I
Xas needed, and they had a good 1
anid. . . .
"In 1859, there was a man by I
he name of WelIs came here with I
I balloon I think it was the first .
me that ever was here and there I
vas a fellow here by the name of ;
fohn M leWhirtier, who was a regu- I
ar. sp)ort and gamler. Old man
int l'ope bet himi a horse andl
uggy that he would not go up in I
t . . . McWhirter was on hand to
to up and he wams full of liquor. I
ie got in the basket, and they s
WHO'S NEV
In one fabulous album-the nation's t
ing stars at thcir singing and swing
THE v|c TENNESSEE |
BROTHERS ENEFR
CAiSTRO DAMONE ENEFR
Ill[N WAITING
REM[MR STR ANGE N- FOR THE
I APRIL CHANIMENT ,ROBERTE.LEE
STAN H
KENTON KINGstoNTRIO PEGGY LEE
WilliE[HAVE GOIN'TO
All THE CHICAGO
TONiGHT FLOW[RSCGONE BLUES~
e< 94 A ID
H ere's the wildest bargain since
smash selections by the biggest
all for a mere 99f ! It's your chai
for 9d each! Each is the biggest
these tremendous stars. Includi
swingers, Thle Brothers Castro.
IHow comie such a fantastic ba
schemie on our part. Once your I
these exciting new albums, you'
you're at your record dealer gr
you rself with these gems: NA
AIm)is N. . .cosr)5-Ji' T-he Ki
Im I' -- The l.ettermen . .. sTARs
men .. LINGER A WiLE WITil
But don't just sit there. Rusi
at that 99c* price! After all, I
lousy 99e?
lemories i
irned it loose and he came near
Aing thrown out of it, but he
ianaged to hold on to it and it
!ll in Elmwood Cemetery in a
-ee, but he got out all right. He
'as sober when he came down.
"Old man Pope was very fond
r his drink and would get full.
le used to ride a mule and one
ight going home, the mule
tumbled and fell with him. He
,ent and told his older son, Bur
L'11, to take the mule out and cut
is throat, and he did as he was
>d. The next morning he called
or his mule and Burrell told him
lat he had given him orders to
ill it. The old man said, "That is
Il right, my son, always do what
our daddy tells you and you will
ever do wrong. . . ."
The War
The coming of the Civil War
rought many changes to a sad
ened Columbia, but Williams re
ounts them with characteristic
umor.
"The Secession Convention was
a session here [during the small
ox outbreak] and they adjourned
L Charleston. There they passed
he ordinance of secession. When
he news reached Columbia, there
(as a tremendous demonstration
-firing of cannon, ringing of
ells, big bon-fires of rosin bar
els on Main Street, and every
hing was in an uproar. Minute
ien were organized and ready to
o at a moment's notice, but that
'as as far as a good many of
hem ever got. The minute men
,ore black felt hats, cocked on
ie right side, and a blue ribbon
osette oin it.
"Early in the spring the troops
egan to move to Charleston. The
rst companies to go were the Co
imbia Artillery and the Richland
ifles.
"Troops were being mobilized in
'olumbia from all of the upper
art of the State and they were
amped at the old fair grounds.
'hey finally moved the hospital
D the South Carolina College
now the University] and took
he fair buildings and made a
ihoratory for the manufacture
f medicine for the Govern
wilt. . ..
'enipers Short
"I'. F. Frazee, Jr. went to
'harleston and was in the Artil
ry. It was told on him that when
e left he said he was going to
et hurt. and would soon he back
ome, which actually happened.
!e was riding on a gun carriage
nd fell off and broke his neck.
le was back home in very short
imi, and is in Elmwood Cemetery.
t doe(s not pay to tempt Provi
"There was a man named ,John
udlecy who worked in the litho
ra ph office at Keating andl
~all'a, who got into the habit of
inging the Star Spangled Ban
p record- *
ng best' !
THEFOUR GLENIR AY
RESHMEN JONAH JONES
0AY 'CLOCK
ETT ERMEN WIRSON
THE WAYjMO GUSW
YOU LOOK IA
TONIGHT IVE TODAY
ANCE*
the purchase of Alaska... 11
names in the business... and
ice to pick up 11 hit numbers
hit from 11 great albums by
ig the sensational new Latin
rgain? Simple. It's a nefarious
ear one number from each of
I want to get them all! While
abbing this bargain, tantalize
NCY' WILSON/CANNONBALL
igston Trio... ONCE UPON A
IN OUR EY Es-The Four Fresh
/IC DAMONE.
out and get "Who's News 1"
~ow can you go wrong for a
tre Made
ier. le was discharged a:
.urned over to the enrolling ofi
Leer. They sent him to the arn
md I never heard tell of Dudli
Again.
"A young man by the name
Mason was engaged to a youi
lady named Green. le secured
position in the Post Office a
that meant exemption from t
army. le went to see her a
urged that she marry him as
would not have to go to the arn:
She told him no, that if he w
too big a coward to fight for I
country she would never mar
him. And she did not. . . .
"As 1865 ushered in, the stU
of affairs became more seriol
Old men and boys were beii
called out and sent to the fro
-from sixteen to sixty years
Age . . . Every day brought nei
of the advance of the enemy .
Every day increased the excil
ment, and on the 14th of Febr
ary, they had approached so ne
you could hear the booming
the cannons. On the fifteenth
became more distinct and t
home guards, which consisted
men in the various shops here, ai
the Arsenal Cadets, were call
out. On the morning of the si
teenth the Confederate troops i
tired across the Congaree Riv
and burned the bridge behii
them."
Sherman left Columbia in ruit
In 1889, the city celebrated i
centennial amid brighter days.
Roaring Twenties
"The first automobile to ha
passengers here was brought he
by Ely Richards and Charlie MT
ler. They were going to run
passenger line from here to Cai
len. I think they made one tri
They ran over and killed an o
lady on upper Main Street. Th
was the first automobile casual
in Columbia, but there have be
hundreds of them since; it is
most a daily occurrence.
Discipline
The Better i
Many times throughout t
course of a student's college (
reer, and especially when he fi
begins it, he finds it conlvenlik
or exciting to cheat onl an1 eN.
destroy property, or steal othe
belongings. Ie does this mnert
to build his own morale. raise I
K.p.r. one-tenth of a point, or
prove to his comlrades that lit. c
be just as (laring andI nonchalai
about a misdlemeanotr as they.
What the st udlent dots not re
ize is the impIortance of miainitai
ig a goodl permtanent record. a
the ease with which it ecan
ruined. Action taken ton eases
cheating, lying, riotous condhu,
etc., immediately goes (Iown ont
piermaitneat record card wh ith f,
lows a person throughout his
tire life.
InI a case which rtcently
curredl at Carolina a stutdent w~
LhargedI with stealing a ttxtbt
inciting others to lie, andit damao~
ing the recordls of ot hers.I
stole the text book and sold
uinder the pretense that it 1
longed to a student no longer
tendling Carolina. lHe also JH
suaded two other students to
in his behalf. As a result tont st
Nothing rasher for your hair
with V-7 keep your hair neal
Naturally. V-7 is the greaseless gro
V-7e fights embarrassing andruff,
hair neat all day withmae 1
Of This..
id
1(1
iy
ly
of
a
lie
aId
he
ly.
as44
ry
te
nt
of
vs
e
U
of
it
he
of;
ed;
x
e- OLD CiTy HALL AN>
er
d "it used to be that a boy vent
to see a wirl and sat in the parlor
IS. and talked to her. If he tried that
ts nowi he would he 1howl the door
in a hurry. A boy that has no car
stands no show with the girls now.
ul and that has caused lot: of theni
re to steal them. If a boy rides up
il- and honks his horn. the girl is out
a and gone with him, ail nine times
out of ten the parents do not
know who lie is.
Id "I was born in 1850, but do not
at want to see the <omditions that
ty will exist in 1950, unlezs there is
tIn a wonderful change. Mlodesty is a
d- thil of the past with boys and
wirls."
Part Of Valor
he dient came through with his story,
a- while the other finally reported
-st the true facts to the proper of
lit ficials, thinking he would receive
i. no punishment. The case clsed
rs' with the connitter of he thieft
ly Ieceiving Ispellsion froll school
iis for two -eiesters, a Ieilliberse
to ment due to the book store, and
a disciplinary probation measure
tfor the rest of his college career'.
ntt The stutdenti who lied was sus
pended firomn sc'hool for' one semies
ii - ter' anzd also lalced oni (listcipl inaryl'
n- pr'ohat ion - all fr' ''helping a
f riendt." 1'unishmnut in the form
of disci plinary prtitiiion was
haddto thle st udint who was
tfpr'eparted to lie but didn't. All
t, these chtaiges aiid puniiive mecas
lhe ur ies w~ere lae<t <>en thle iindividuali
thiem in cont ining theiir educta
ion and1( possibtly in obhtaininug fu
ture jolts.
it- Non(e of these students realized
as thieseriousne'ss of thet cotnsequteni
re's ol' their acts, nil' id they' real
izte the hi sting eff'ec t the imiiprinti
Sof such'l a thiung has upontl their
I'professors, felhow st udents, and
it emloyers.
tii As these itdems, as weli as thet
t.othlers wt,ho lhav e b eten repri mantded
for similar off'lenses, have discov
er'ed, the driast it re-tlts are not
liwtrthi thet truble it takes to
u- c'ommiit siulh deedls
than grease. Let Vitalis 4'
all day without grease. Vtli
Diming discovery. Vitalis0 with I
prevents dryness, keeps your -
ry Vitalis today. You'll like it! :s
0C
MA RKET
Push-Pull
Click Click
By Lavona Page
Professional photographers, ama
teur camera bugs, and just plain
human - nature lovers - arise!
)on't. let the annual National
Snapshot Winners display leave
town without your seeing it.
The display of 110 photographs,
fi'ling two rooms, will be at the
Columbia Museum of Art, just up
the street, for your viewing pleas
ure until May 15.
New.spapers all over the coun
try held contests in their locali
ties last fall, an( national win
ners were chosen from the local
winners.
One national winner was first
a; winner with The State, an(l a
large number of other winners are
from South Carolina and neigh
boring states.
Approximately half of the
phot os are in co!or, and all are
vither strikingly beautiful or
loaded with human interest and
apipeal.
As one keeps in mind that all
phot os were taken by amateurs,
('ne can analyze w'hat catches the
judges' eyes, and start right away
taking pictures to enter in the up
comIingI contest this fall. Cash
prizes are awarded on hot h the
loal1 and national level. wit h top
prizes as high as $1,.00(0.
As yotu dash over to the mu
scum, whyi not take your camera
alonig and star t woirk ing on that
$1 .000 ?
TIhis little powm was posted
in the spirit of mass revolt
against indigestion and the
Sha nks' beneficent delivery
man, who visits Wade Ilamp
ton l)ornm last. T'he results of
his schedule are recounted in
the following collegiate epic.
composed by Sophia Sallenger,
poet laureate of Wade Hlamp
toni.
Ode To The Shanks Man
II seems to lbe your sacred mis
To kill us all by malnutrition.
It is enough to turn one green
Ju lst to look in our canteen.
Rickets, scurvey, and loss of
power,
We grow weaker by the hour.
With what we have to eat for
sutpper,
We('ll all have dentures --
bottom and upper.
Indigestion is here and peace
is gone,
But with ruined health we'll
forge (in.
lly'pochrondriac's all we may
seem,
Hut this food is enough to
make us scream!
Sims and Maxcy and Benedict
too
Are all visited first by you.
But come on, please, be a
lover -
I)on't leave us just what you've
left over.
The author notes that there
were no changes made - that
banana moon pie is still there
from Christmas. Slater, how
ever, can take comfort. They're
not nane.