Historical Newspapers of South Carolina

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/ W1 This is a typical campus scee their dorm at 7.30 In the mornhi you know how beer busts are a31 tX. Professo, Talks Ab By Bob Grosse Recently a distinguished visitor arrived on the Carolina Campus, Professor.Cariolanus T. Cariolanus of the College of Fingerpainting and Pharmacy of Lower Moose jaw, Georgia. The Professor is currently serving as Head of the Department of Psychology and Assistant Steward. He was a good old boy and granted an Interview, part of which is recorded below. "Professor, will you give us your views on current popular music ?" "Ja, I have been viewing this music und I have found that it contains great psychological sig n ificance." "That's very interesting, would you give us some particulars." "Ja, more in particular. Ja, In Campus - Calling Is . A "Campus-Wide Hog-Calling Contest" will be held Monday morning, starting at 6 a.m., In front of the McKissick Library, sponsored by the Student Union Council, it was announced this week by the sub-chairman work ing on 'the project. Word has been received that Clemson will have a delegation of rooters here to add realism to the contest. Learn A Profit At Home In I Many of our graduate make standard size, how income, low overhead, E fuli-time vocation, or Those interested only should write our Coin jars. You can win ind3 for the future by trainih extension division. Upon completion of ceive a beautiful, exp4 Treasury agent., or V through GI Bili need uo COUNTERFEIT 123 Shyi Fort Knox. 10 FORGOT THE KEI .. taken after an all-night beer bust. ig only to find that someone had forl d all. You couldn't really blame th - C. T. Caj out Popul deed. Vell, this music is very deep, very profound. Take for example this tune "Get A Job." Now this seems like a simple, humorous little song but look at its roots. It signifies the yearning of the soul for the unknown, the search ing of the psyche for identifica tion, the psychotic frustration, die Weltschmerz-it is very deep. You have read no doubt the Upshani dad, the Nordic Myths of die Got terdammerung, the story of the wandering Jew, the Mayan rites of passage, all these are in this simple song. It is the final testa ment of man." "Professor, could you tell us how you feel about Rock and Roll?" "Vell, this Rock und Roll is very popular because it show the ex ide Hog Jlonday At about 6:30 a.m., while the contestants are taking a break for refreshments, the Claire 0. Sophie Literary ' Circle will auction the ball on Maxcy Monument to the highest bidder. Immediately following dinner, the day's festivities will be resumed with a special film program in the Russell House Assembly room. All of the "Porky Pig" cartoons will be shown, as well as the fea ture film, "Green Pastures." able Profession )nly 35 Days! a make bIg money (most ever - It's safer). Large' asy hour.. TraIning for part-time employment. In part-time trainIng Department for particu [ependence and prepare ag at home, through our the course, you wIll re rtly engraved diploma. terans seekIng entrance Sapply. |MG COLLEGE Itantucky 2X. -s l. Al ih isa on 4% e --K4 ' .. . .. . These four~ fellows got back to ;otten the key to the dorm. Well, 'se fellows. All night Is a long P1olanus ar Music pression of the alter ego for in ternational union, the common brotherhood, suppression of the mind to the will of the masses, re gression to pre-natal traumas, the original sin. Moreover, what else can the kids shag to?" "Well, Professor, music from motion pictures seems to be quite important now. Does that have any significance?" "Jawohl, Jawohl indeed. You see when a boy wants to be dating und carry his Liebechen to the show, he wants to have some soft romantic music to hear or he won't go by for her at all." "But to get back to popular music in .geieral .." "Ja, I met him." "Who, Professor?" "Der General." "Oh, I see. But could you give us some of your own personal views on music?" "Vell, you see, Dumpchen, this music is ruining the whole social structure. Everybody wants to be happy. 'I Vant To Be Happy, 'Be Happy, Go Lucky' . . . It Ii a curse of Zivihization. This hap piness will finally overthrow the government, the whole economic structure will topple, even the Republicans." As I said in' my recent book, "Psycho - Analysis, Self - Taught,' (two dollars at any bookstore) we must do away mit all this happi ness. Down with the songs and laughter, make the Student Coun cil come to meetings, tear ujp Dulles passport, chop the State House grounds,. burn the books enforce the Honor System, turrn the administration over to the Housing Office-we must be in. dependant, miserable but inde pendant. "Well, thank you, Professor Cariolanus, for a most enlighten. ing interview." "Ja, Thank you. Und remember my book. $2.00 at your local book store . . . illustrated." BAD WORSE WORST PRKC Sup SE WAG DATELESS GREEK WEEK En AA;e Amy Jean Grottenfetter took this picture on a dateless Greek Week weekend. She shot this picture with a camera smuggled in to her in a eake her sweet, little ol' ummn baked. Amy Jean lives in Sims Dormitory and on this particular rainy day (which accounts for the water in the street) she had this to say about fraternity men: "They are no damned good." Amd about the strict regulatioms on girls in Sims Dorm, she said: "Ya see 'Them bars on the window don'tcha?" OLIVER EVANS CAUGHT CHEATING This is Oliver R. Evans 11, the 21-year-old boy named after his daddy, as he left the Administration Building. Oliver just found out he flunked out of school. He said he was going to the library and "blow the damn place apart." When asked why, he responded, "Them books in thar ain't got nothin' in 'em which tells you how to stay In school. Hit ain't fair to us low-brows thet they hev sech a li. brary." Oliver wasn't successful as he was never able to get anyone to wait on him. WHO'S GOT THE SKINNY? 31 In an attempt by th, administration to elimnate all forms of cheatinig and skinnying on exams, ehairs have been placed at regular intervals from each and monitors are constantly strolling the aisles. In the top left of thb typical examination scene, a stand supporting a S5-mnillhaeter cannon is seesn. But all the students FO D passed this test. The esurme was (huaga-Lag 17. 'The exam didn't SERVICE WATCH ES IN SOUTh REPAIRING Why knock yourself out? We'll teach you to expertly stand by and po rtf watch repairing3 whether It's shoe, construc tion or road repairs. WFrite for particeulars. E .HALL TC OKTIES INC-. Russell House Ramp Found Not Safe The ramp leading to the first floor level of the Russell House has been condemned as "unsafe" and students are cautioned not to use it because of a possible im pending collapse. The condemna tion came following a report to the University Structural Engi neers that bricks which form a walkway between the curb and the sidewalk and the sidewalk and the foot of the ramp are not ce mented together. While we do not foresee any immediate danger, the Engineers said, "we do want to be on the safe side." While the bricks were placed in the area leading from the ramp to Green Street, they may have no bearing on the ramp itself, but the records have been lost, and no one knows just what purpose they serve. A spokesman said they might be "re-enforcement of some kind, keeping the ramp from straighten ing out and sliding into the street." In view of this danger, students are requested not to use the ramp until workmen can put some calk ing in the sand-filled cracks be tween the bricks. SP&s. Hesard. Spo.e ON CAMPUS Members of the Martian Com mittee to Improve Our Universe, visiting Columbia and the USC campus to make a report on whether the Earth is too sloppy to be permitted to deface the Uni verse, in their beautiful, gold plated, super-deluxe 1958 Flying Saucer. After getting such an un favorable first impression as to - prepare to destroy the Earth, the visitors decided to let it alone after looking at the large number of attractive co-eds on campus. One Martian saying to the other, "'This place may not be much, but the girls here sure beat any thing on Mars. Wow!! Housing Office Storm Troopers executing 100 male students guilty of not making their beds and keeping bottles in their rooms in one of the most gala social events of the season, with Storm Trooper remarking that this would bene fit the University by leaving room for new arrivals at the concentra tion camp on Davis field and by 'relieving congested housing con ditions. Outdoor Play Will Uitilize Library Site In line with the increased em phasis in the importance of re ligion in the life of the university student, the University Players announced today that their spring production would be a Biblical drama entitled, Genesis, based on the book of that name. The play will be produced out doors on the site of the new li brary because the play concerns the creation and it Is felt that the natural setting of this excavation would reemphasize man's close contact with nature. Natural properties will be used wherever possible and the university is plan ning to move in two trees for the garden scene. Since the play calls for a number of unusual special effects, it is also thought best to stage it outdoors so that the spectators will be able to disperse quickly in case of lightening. The lead roles will be played by two top performers known for their sensitive interpretation of religious drama. Maurice Stephan will take, the part of Adam, and Miss Pamela Turnipseed the part of Eve. With a supporting east of thousands, the play will be pro.. duced by the University Depart ment of Drama and Religion, and it will be directed by Dr. Havllah Babcock. W hore thaere's a mBant. There oughta be a womsan. For infomNn Call Campus 245