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GrinW By KEN "Sir," said the maid haughtily, "Either take your arm from around my waist or keep It still, I'm no banjo." ? " so Dean (to Co-ed): "Are you writing that letter to a man?" Co-ed: "It's to a former room mate of mine." Dean: "Answer my question." ' + + Examiner: "Any big men born around here?" Cadet: "Naw, best we can do is babies." * " C As the cow said to the milk maid, "Go ahead and see if I give a dram." " " " Judge: "Officer, what makes you think this gentleman is intoxi cated?" Officer: "Well, judge, I didn't bother him when he staggered down the street, or when he fell flat on his face in the gutter, but when he put a nickel in the mail-box, looked up at the clock on the City Hall, and said, 'My gosh, I've lost four teen pounds,' what could I do?" * * t John: "Look, is that lady's dress torn or am I seeing things?" Jack: "Both." 'Charley's Aunt,' 'I Is University Thet By PAT DAVIS "Charley's Aunt," a hilarious comedy by Brandon Thomas, will be presented to Carolina audiences by the University Theater on May 16 and 17 at Drayton hall. This comedy, which involves a great many people, most of them innocently, in a complicated situa tion, is one of the all-time favor ites. It was first produced in New York City and has been staged many times since. Several years ago it was so successful on Broad way that it was adapted for the At the Theatres NEXT WEEK Palmetto Sunday thru Wednesday "Only the Valiant" Gregory PECK Barbara PAYTON Carolina Sunday thru Saturday "Sanson and Delilah" Hedy LAMARR -Vieter MATURE George SANDERS Ritz Tuesday thru Saturday "Rawhide" Tyrone POWER Susan HAYWARD Str nd Seqday d Monday "FIigh1 Caravans" 0 OOPER L. AMITA Sund and a "S dlow of a oubt" resa WRIGHT eph COTTEN M donald CAREY Starlite Drive-In Sunday thru Tuesday "Sunset Boulevard" GlorIa SWANSON WiHlIam HOLDEN Nancy OLSON "I'm through . . I'm checking VARSITY RESTAURANT for married. He knows how much I occasionally . . . and how I feel the VARSITY." - PROMPT CII ith Ken POWELL A young student with matrimony in mind had just popped the ques tion to his girl friend. "Oh, I don't know, Hector," she said slowly. "I've been asked to get married lots of times." "Gee," he said crestfallen; "who asked yuh, Daisy?" She blushed. "Oh, maw and PAW.". * * * A sweet young thing described the wolf as a modern dry cleaner. He works fast and leaves no ring. * * * Daughter: "I heard a good joke today." Mother: "Let's hear it." Daughter: "Wait till father leaves the room." * * * 1st girl: "He fascinated me and I kissed him." 2nd girl: "Yeah, I know. And then he began to unfascinate you, and you slapped him." * * * Teacher: "Billy, are you eating candy or chewing gum?" Billy: "Neither; I'm soaking a prune to eat at recess." * * * "My heart is in the ocean,'' cried the poet." "You've gone me one better," said the seasick friend, taking a firmer grip on the rail. 'homas Comedy, cter's Next screen. Jack Benny was cast as Charley's aunt. This play was re vived on Broadway last season un der the title of "Where Is Char ley," starring Ray Bolger. Now the University Players turn their talents to this worthy work in order to bring the students of Carolina first-class entertainment. Jim Reagan, who is cast as Fan court Babberly, ends up being Charley's aunt when the real aunt (Carolyn Moore) fails to show up to help her nephew out of trouble. The fact that the aunt is a wealthy widow draws many suitors to her, regardless of her eccentricities, and Jim Reagan shows the proper (?) etiquette to be used in refusing proposals. Charley (Cliff Gaddy) and Jack (Miller Lide) dash through three acts trying to keep Fancourt's identity a secret and woo their sweethearts Amy (Ethel Mat thews) and Kitty (Pat Davis), re spectively. Brassart, the discreet man's man (Tom Thornton) man ages to keep the innocent and the guilty characters worried. Other players participating are Nell Petrea, Bill Melton, Fred Blackwvell and Sara Starnes. Buddy Long is directing the play and will use three different stage settings - one for each act - to carry out the action more effec tively. "Charley's Aunt" will be the last p)roduction of this season. The Uni versity Theater will be active dur ing summer school. ~STATE THEATRE Pa e" Forrest YUT ER Adele MARA )utl e hasn't taken me to the din r once since we've been enj the luxury of dining out ut he superior food served at lB VICE PON. N. The Air Force ROTC unit recer annual military ball to be held at Shown are: Center, Honorary C Whisenhunt, AROTC Band; Ruby Alpha Phi Omega I Honor Initiates; Br A banquet was recently tendered in honor of the new initiates of Alpha Phi Omega, national service fraiernity, at the Market restau rant. The' new actives are Dick Condon, Jack Croft, Robert Damon, Chuck Davis, Victor Laurie, and Jack Goldschmid. Dr. Archibald R. Lewis, chair man of the faculty advisory coni mittee, presented Al Lane with the APO Distinguished Service Key for "outstanding work on the behalf of the fraternity." Al, as retiring president, was also awarded the President's key. Dr. Lewis was then awarded an APO Key in recognition of his service to the chapter. Wallace Hinnant, master of cere monies, introduced Dean Bradley, who, with illustrations, spoke about the corruptness of the world and said that leadership and service or ganizations such as Alpha Phi Omega could produce the leaders who might help ward off the evils and vices that exist today. Three alumni, Messrs. Roy Rog ers of Augusta, Ga., Frank Mills I. fIs fIh ee Ne bsIn olvn as oofasnitinW ki Sfthe woryes Pyolh.m.iPSJN: swetRP.,a L. ..... . .... ....rh .. r Force Militar 4 4 . itly elected these Carolina beauties the Memorial Youth Center, Thursc idet Colonel Nancy Mitchell; Left t Lee Ward, Squadron B; Jackie [iolds Banquet to adley Speaks of North Augusta, S. C., and Len Metz of Columbia, were present. New officei:s of the chapter are: C. D. Peterson, president; Art Treiber, vice-president; Cliff Milli gan, corresponding secretary; Rob ert Mount, recording secretary; Dalton Stokes, treasurer; and War ren Rowlands, historian. They were installed by Dr. Lewis at the banquet. The captain was lecturing to a class of new officer candidates. "A 40-foot flagpole has fallen down,' he said. "You have a sergeant and a detail of 10 men. How do you erect the flagpole again?" The candidates thought, then of fered suggestions about block and tackle derricks, and so on. "You're all wrong," said the Captain. "You'd merely say, "Men~ get that flagpole up'." Psychiatrist: "Why don't you like to talk over the telephone ?" Patient: "Because I always hear voices. People are liable to think I'm crazy." M. I in Haaii-s livng i sportshir tha wil hav i l es nlog 'et irts, tat is-nd te'r i. $365" an\$ 5 SIfl =8 l'V wrtes all seaoRK l,oN. l'l.t irts tha isamm they'r== . y Ball Sponsori W:i" .xZ. to represent the various organizatic lay night, March 10th. o right, the Honorary Cadet Major N Turner, Squadron C; Mary Louise I f Campus Inti 7l A Numbi - rB on h isae with one-uff"- one. rece tesm c so jugetfneet Atry Caestfr30dy, eh ohn his pai ins of the cadet corps at its first ancy Jowers, Squadron D; Harriet lankenson, Squadron A. :rviews on Cig r 19...THE WI think d he ble is stack! All this doul tt sts was a flagrant infring its! They couldn't fool this if' perimnents. Millions of sir - e's just one real way to cigar. 30-Day amel Mildness Test ry Camels as your steady smok y-after-day basis. No snap u've enjoyed Camels--and oi lieve you'll know why ... Sanoke Camnel Pag. The Kappa Pi Takes 16 Members Into Fold The Kappa Pi Art fraternity in itiated 16 new members at their last meeting at the home of Mrs. Elinor B. Acree, Columbia. Mrs. Virginia Sandy Dowdle presided. The initiates were: Mr. and Mrs. Oliver R. Harper, Columbia; Frances Virginia Hagood, Colum bia; James Early, Forest City, N. C.; L. Blackwell Stanton, Co lumbia; James Thomas Simms, Spartanburg; Sarah May Theve not, Charleston; Marlene Rast, Swansea; Janet Barron Ervin, Florence; Sarah Ellen Smith, Co lumbia; Shirley Mervis Beason, Greer; William .Jams Gravely, Seneca; Annie 'aroline Gibert, Columbia; Alice Jane (ates, Co lumbia; Walter Herman Sturgeon, Columbia; and Betty June Wind ham, Columbia. I.FARN THE If AY I1e's Finest Clothing " Kuppenheituer " kingsridge i'l F' attai 111'44A i'S NEW FELT l1A'I'" e sitp"n . - oble CLASS )JINISIIINGS COPELAND CO. 1409 MAIN STREET arette Tests 0 ASEL hIo do theyj they're kidd in' r inventedI oumble talk!" I >e talk -. ~ement character okers have prove