Historical Newspapers of South Carolina

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Editor..........Katherine Armida Jennings EDITORIAL STAFF News Editor........-------...........John Reese Assooate Editors--David Lynn Freemen. Helen Pride Craig. Jimmy Brockman Co-ed Editor......--............Margaret 0. Jones Soolety Editor........................Jeune Good Sports Editor ........... Frank Griffin Managing Editor, Harry H. Jenkins, Jr. Freshmen Need Your Expert Guidance; So Volunteer One of the best ideas to materialize lately is the Y. W.'s idea of providing "big sisters" to guide the incoming freshmen through the maze of registration and other difficulties. This su per service will start at the beginning of the second summer school, if all goes well. A large number of freshmen girls will enroll at that time, aided and abetted by their helpful "sis ters." This plan, like all others, needs cooperation to be carried out, so, girls, that means you! A couple of weeks ago you received cards from the Y. W. asking if you would undertake the job of being a "big sister'' for a few days. If you haven't answered in the affirmative and addressed your answer to Box 168 do so at once, or tell Helen Pride Craig. Y. W. presi dent, in person. A backward glance at your first days at Carolina will certainly bring to mind the fact that such a system is definitely needed. To learn the way around the University, is quite a trick in itself, and to learn how to compete with registration, book stores and such confus ing set-ups takes all the wisdom acquired by semesters spent in this way. So, now that we agree that it'I a fine scheieme, the only thing that remains is to offer your services and see that it eaii be carried out. Let's welcome these ftreslinen to the 1'niver sity in a big way and show them that. all this talk about a fricidly C_arolina spirit is tihe reni thing. It won't take but a few hours of your time, but it will mean the difference between complete bewilderment and easy adjustment to some homesick freshman. Speaking Of Cartoons ...Not To Mention Cartoonists! Just in case you think the Utopian little number J. Bull sketched for this week's USC Campus (during a fit of inspiration, we snp pose) is typical of onr Carolina life, let uts dis illusion you immuediately. This i dylli. scene bears little or no resemblance to thle hard work ing, non-stop edticational life of thle average University studlent. If' typical of' anything. it is typical of the usual goldhriekinig, space-fIlI. ing tendencies of the Gamuecock stafl'. (P. S. to "'Hutch ":Any resemblance in t his cartoon to persons living, dead Eor hal f-dlead is purely coincidental.) Gripe Of The Week, Need For Biggero And Better Canteen Thtis is one of thiose mor,e ori less I ersading editorials that somebody writes every no0w andl then, fully realizing that the situationi will not be remedied but still feeling that it's wor1 I mentinng. The sub)jet undler (1isenission is thle Caniteen,. also known by va riouis other na mes. The Can-t teen is the second htom'e of at least half the' Carolina student body and p)ract ically th(e lirst4 home of the other half. Whenevr Carolinaains have a spare minute. or want to see a friieud, or drink a coke, they automtat ically head for* the Canteen and theure relax by the hioura amnid the spirit of' Carolina. But in spite of', or' possily becaiuse of' Ihle fact that the Canteen is lby all odds the most popular spot on the eanns and onie of the very few student gather'ing-plaees, it is small, 'dark, dirty and ov'erer'owdled. Now dlon't growl, we aren't criticizing a soul, and we are as fond of the tamosphuerie old1 place as you are, but nevertheless it is a trite truth that Caro lina has outgrown the present Canteen. Some have suggested that the partitions in the rest of the bottom of Maxey w"here the poolroom ete. was be taken down so that the Canteen can expand, providing room and book stores for all. This sounded like a good idea Member I )ciated Co e6iate Press Distributor of ROB: Colle6iate Di6est Carlup Entered 8. O.. Nr until we learned that there are other plans underway for that space, but surely a similar l)Iiaee could be found. We sadly realize that no one will rush out and build a bigger and better Canteen upon reading this editorial, but we do suggest that when the day comes that the University has some extra cash, Canteen improvements be put first on the list. Picnic Grounds, Down By The Old Stream Not so very long ago, about last spring to be exact, the Student Union Board fixed up three separate pienic grounds in Maxey Gregg Park for the use of University students. Every one was quite pleased at the time and t hen promptly forgot, that they were there. Each of these pienic spots have a large table and an outdoor fireplace. They are at quite a distance from each other so that three differ ent groups can easily use them at the same time. The atmosphere is all very rustic and back-to-nature with Rocky Branch trickling by, trees and grass of green, the usual birds and so forth. For a while wood wasn't avail able for the fireplaces (except in the form of trees) but this situation is being remedied, and Student Union has provided for better care of the grounds. In good weather the park is used by student ::roups about once a week, which isni't a very high average, considering that this is the only such place within walking distance of the cam pus. For those who don't know, Maxey Gregg Park is at the bottom of the hill behind Sims. Probably one reason for this neglect is that few students even know the place is there at all, and those that have found it in their wan derings don't know that it is owned by the ;niversity and maintained for student con V"eiienee. The set-up cost the Student Union about $700, so we should show our appreciation by our patronage. Also, if we don't take advan tage of the recreational opportunities that the University now provides, they probably won I bot her to provide aldit ionial onecs, should the opiport unitiy oIccuIr. THhe Gamecock Moves Its Bags, Belongings, Headaches To Maxcy (ue mIC'Iore gi riner Iii pa - bekon,. anid the .1anan4-k parks its b elonginigs. anad troubli es. andli trt'ks toi a new hiomehln. this time thle hauweinenit ohf Matxy. w here w.e shal,l reign ini allI our glory a mid fl oiurest en t lighAt in g anmd 4 tint' comf i orts of h omeit. O )f cou rse,. the G;a rneitt ati Black wvill share t he same floor. but winm arec we to he uncoopera~itive i So, t how.. whlo seek for' us to offe'r servi''es. Sympiathyi or alnoinmous niotts ne'ed no0 longer chfli te ehu t inmg step s of Hinn or si niuer ini 0ur tropica1l heatd. F'or our' new abiodt we o)fferm thaniiks to those responsible. miostly our happy fritenl. Mr. Garrett. heu chiro icle (if the i (nmIerock's niornad ie .jtourniey i a long, tortuouu one. At onei~ tume ini lie Ilong forgol a past . the venmerab le papewr e'manated froim IFlinn Illall. n herent our p.e de(Cessor.' pur"sued the'ir ma,d. inkv' lives. Then-' l'os('sed of a Iledo,ini spirit. thle Gaim,uenk foh led its arabic typewriters anmd wound its way to thet little building which now hiouses the dupilicating office. T[here (Gamnecocks wre' spa smod ically spa wned. St,ill governed by the inconquerabil gypsy spirit . again thle Gamecock chugged over the campus, this time back to Fl inn I Iall. There, too, the paper was hatched fr'om week to week. Th'lere Messrs. Brocknman anid Freeman and M 'selle Craig pursued their editor'ial caireers, vaultinag obstacles implaced by the war. plus supernumrerar'y ones of the changing seasons. Blut alas, stirred again by that inmadic spirit, we wvaft ourselves awayx to the heckon ing basement of Maxey, there to labor on and on and on . .* 7he Gamecock Founded January so, 10 NP"ou"NT" " CRT ELLIOTT GONZALES. First Editor eAd 4*O MAPISON weekly by the student body of the University ot South CNICAN " Desiges lurin.g the college ear. as econd-class matter at the postoftice at Columbia. 1. C0. 1C0. liUstse,ampus ByJH REE SULL ickal Onmjwe THE "OXC LONy C%ub! FRIEE-LANCINjG fly JOHN REESE Mil itarv ci rcle's are* shiakinig thieir heat'ds Sorrow Ill over this (MCe. It st'tls tha~t ;1 J011lllI1st WI' atssignied to Iiti (lilt eNactll' oiw- iiuci We pay olur ncl ill the Arled I'orces from11 a private and hoot on up to it full general. The Airmy and Navy camle through with the fig'ure withot AJivc'r. Thi ('onrt. Guard admitted its scale was the same as the Navy's. But the Marines got haughty. Military secret. The journalist told the Marine officer that the other branches hadn't hesitated. "Makes no difference," said the officer, "the information is still secret. All I am allowed to tell you is that it's the same as the Navy's." * * * THIS COLLEGE LIFE . . When you're a Freshman ,. . Drinking is bad .. . A slap is a rebuke .. . You're drunk after three cocktails .. . You shouldn't dream to kiss a girl on the first date .. . You owe your fraternity life-long loyalty .. . Your best girl has your fraternity pin .. . u 11111 when a girl tells an off-color joke . . You drink to attract alttenltion .. Ptyis your favorite eatrtooist... When you're a Sophomore... Driinking is prIobatbly bad . .. A slap is a joke... Y1ou're dIrunk a fter five cocktails... Youl shouldn't dare to kiss It girl on the first date . .. Son We your fraternjity a great dleal of loat One of youri best girls ha:s your fraternity p)in.. Y ou smile whIen) a girl tellIs an, off-color joke... You din k to Ibec-omei genial... P.etty is your falvorite eairtooist ... When you're a Junior... A slap) is anl encouragemnent... YIonu-l'rIdunk after seven cocktails anid al shiort b eer .. 3 ou shouildn't forget to kiss a girli on the first daIte.. 3 ou owe your frater-nity' some lovaltv y A girl has youri fraternity pin.. You laugh whlen a girl tells an off-color joke... Y1ou dirinIk to forget ... Ptyis your fav orite eartoonist... When you're a Senior... Drinlking is drnin king... A slap is Of fenlse No. 1... Ylou're just dIrunk... Y*ou shouhin't b)othler to kiss a girl- on the firu-.t date. . i ou owe' your frtnity . ... A paw'n shop hais your fraternity pin... You .vawnt when a giril tellIs ani off-coilor joIke. You just drink... Peitty is your fav'orite' eartoonist... * * * SHAPSHOT OF LAW SCHOOL .. . In conc!ldinig his lecturIe oun Parliamenutarv Law1~, Professor Kar-eshi aIskd aI quet'ion. "Who wouIld Ihe atuthorized to sIly '1 put the~ mot ion before theC House'?"' With hiis usual wit Normnlu WVest dIrolly answered. "A hula hula11 daner.'' * * * PHTHIGNKHCE .. . Phithiignkhee is not pig Latin or GermanIn or any other foreign language. but is a hybrid spelling of the common (or is it comn unon) Amiericani word "thanks". It's c.ven p)ronounlced as tIle good ole English version. Juist p)ronouncIe "phth'' as ill phthisis, i as mn meringue, gn as in gnostie, kh as in khaki, and ce as in fleece. XXUJ5UD4. J1, 1.7'JF Business Manager..........Billy Murray NEWS STAFF Betty Pennell, Majed Akel. Ethel Laser, Hamlil. R NeATIONA{. AWaaNa1m av ton Simpson, Bobby Williams, Margaret Mo. Elveen, Ernest Davis, Knobby Walsh, J SMartin, L11 Foster, thel Love SIdena iskIIEnr Roprofnt Kinloch Bull, Julla Bull, Frank Griffr-! 1vs. Nsw YoR. N. Y. Barbara Quick. Anne Darby vison, Rose " I.eAsan,a - Ya haa Knox, Bobo Sliord. Pinky Bartlett, ,erty Robinson, Virginia Williams, Evelyn Fares, Iris Graham. Circulation Mgr. Katherine Dawson ,s,.tant............................Ed Phelps Th' Ham In Me By HAMILTON SIMPSON "THHAMINME" The content of this so called effort is, as the title suggests 'ham' with the ration points few and far between-Any simil arity between anything you may read here and anything else you've read is purely, I assure you, entirely accidental. I thought or at least hoped you'd skipped those pages I thought were pretty good material-Personal to Miss Helen Pride Craig -Help, 1 got a letter too !-Nuff said, so down to work THE RAINS CAME Two co-eds stood reluctantly on Sims porch watching the rain pour down. "We've just got to catch the Rosehill bus," one said. "But," gasped the other girl, "My sandals are just glue and cardboard 'nd they'll come apart." After a brief conference the two took. off their shoes and waded out to catch the bus. As they dashed out, the two passed a group of fraternity boys making for port. The boys grinned at the bare feet and one called after them. "Hey sister! Your ankle's showingi" TIT FOR TAT The devil sends the wicked wind That blows gals skirts knee high. But God is just And sends the dust That blows in the R.O.'s eye. BELIEVE IT OR NOT-I DON'T A new bunch of recruits arrived at Fort Jackson. After one glance at the group the sergeant pronounced them as the rawest bunch he'd ever seen. He worked on them steadily for three hours, and at last it looked as though they were getting the swin'g of things. "Hight flank." he roared. Then a "Left flank" before they had even started in the first. direction. It was the straw that broke the camel's back, for one boy, ') Ie wiped the perspiration fr.m his brcw, brokc ranks, and headed toward the barracks. "Hey you! yelled the serge, "Where do you think you're go. ing?" "I've had enough," replied the recruit in a very disgusting tone. "You don't even know your own mind for two minutes running!" FOR WHOM THE BELL TOLLS - * A small boy was frantically running up .the hill to the school house. He was going to be late, that was all there was to it. Late again and the teacher would keep him in after school. With every step lie could be heard to pant, "Please Lord, don't let me be late. PLEASE, I'll go to Sunday school if you'll fix it up so I can go fishing this afternoon." As he reached the door Ie heard the shuffling of feet within the school rooii. lie whiisperedI again. Please Lord, don't let me1 he0 late.'' .Just as lie was abjout to ma~ke the final leap he stumbled and sprawled out on the grounid--whjUe the late b)ell rang furiously. Slowly the little fellow got to his feet. Then lie whirled about aiid shook his fist toward the sky. "'Awright, awright,'' he eried1, ''you don't hafta push !'' ODE TO A STEAK Pray, butcher, spare yon tendler calf Accept my plea on his behalf: lie's but a babe, too young by far To perish in the abattoir. Oh, cruel butcheir, let him feedl and( gambol on the x erdant mead; Let clover' tops and grassy banks I"ill out those chihtlish ribs and- flanks - Th'Ien may we, at some future meal P'itchi into beef instead of veal. -Ogden Nash DEFINITION Sir-what a petty oil'icer says to an admiiral instead of, "'Hey you! ANCHORS AWEIGH'' A husband had l istened to his wife expre'(ss her desire to join he Waves. At first lhe listened attentively admir'ing her patriotie viewv, hut at last his p5latieniee wore t hini. One night lie could standl no imore. HeI waited until she had liniished her drat ion. t hen lie said simiply, " 'My dear, I really don't thinik you'd enijoy it.'' "Why '1" she dlelma ded. "Afteri all,"' het answered simply, "'It is a non-combat serv. STRANGE AS IT SEEMS A motorist was lost oin a back mlounitajin roado ini North Caro linia. lie finally came to an old shack of a tilling station and pulled in. The at tendant was a typical back wvoodsnman. The moto,rist t urned dlown) hiis radio ini order to hear thle direct ions more dlistmet ly. The miounitaiuneer lost all interest in his direc~ ion giving and stared at the radlio. "'What ya listening to?'' lie askedl. "Why, to the Democratic Convention," the driver paused vondlerimg if lie could get the 01(1 fellow 's views on the sub .ieet, then asked, ''What (10 you think of Roosevelt and this fourth term business?" The man looked blank and said qluestionly, "Whlose lhe?" 'You mean yo never heard of Roosevelt ?" "Nope!" "Well then," said the motorist, "I'll take four tires and ten grallons of gas,"