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With Apologies We Spend A Hai Lana: But darling, I love you so. It was a beautiful, cool Saturday. From our lonely window we could see smiling sailors in gleaming whites and bright laughing girls tripping blithely across the campus, pleasure-bound. It was a (lay for happiness. Nature had mustered every one of her myriad charms with the obvious intent of appealing to man's gayer emotions. But it was all just salt in our wounds. We were restricted. We cursed the sun, the laughing girls. the gleaming sailors and the serene weather. We cursed the officer-of the-deck, and all mates-of-the-deck, irregardless of guilt or innocence. To put the thing briefly, we cursed impartially and promiscuously. Then a sudden flash of ration alism burst up on our tortured mind; its brilliance and strength driving out the nasty words and bad thoughts of a second ago. Here was a chance to try a little applied psychology! "Ahaa," we mur mured contentedly, somewhat in the manner of a Carnation cow, who is both surprised and pleased at her cleverness in bit ing a particularly luscious blade of grass. The idea was, of course, to assume a manner of felicity, and think felicitous thoughts. If we remembered our Psych. 1 cor rectly, the result would be a change in mood from one of bleak frustration to joy. Why, if our thoughts were felicitous enough we would probably be positively beatific. So we sat on the bed, smiled our most dazzling smile, and be gan to do, mentally of course, important and wonderful things. The first happy thoughts went somewhat like this: Us: No, Lana, I will not. GET THAT B a THE C) 0 Tennis Equil 0 School S 0 Cokc Navy ( Navy V-5 and * It is with genuine pleost Columbia and to THE HOP * We are ready at all times you will find al of your un * THANK THE U. S. NAVY f they pushed quality up and We are appointed b official distributors of HOPE-D4 To Thurber ppy Weekend Your cruelty will drive me to sui cide. Oh you wonderful man, please come over to my house for pressed duck and hamboo sprouts. I will love vou until the day I die. Grant me, if for only a few hours, the in comparable pleasure of your con pany. Us: No. Lana, I will not. (Aside) (Jndas Priest, won't this woman stop pestering me. Humph. A date with Iledv at 8:30 and only two hours to bathe and put on my tails). Lana: (Sob). U's: To quote Strachey, "Human relationships must either move or perish. When two consciousnesses come to a certain nearness, the im petuosity of their interactions leads on. on, on, to an inescapable cli max." (Philosophic pause). We have passed that climax, and our re lationship must perish. Lana: (Drinking iodine) I cannot live without you. Us: Mon Dieu! In iodine veritas. Feeling very satisfactory per sonal reations to the above dia logue, we adjourned to our desk, light an imaginary Corona Per fecto with a very imaginary twenty dollar bill, and answered an imaginary telephone. Miss Jones: Sir, John D. Rockefeller has been waiting three hours to see you. He says millions are involved in an im mediate decision on your part. Us (phlegmatically): Faugh. Darn Rockefeller, darn the mil lions. I haven't finished my crossword puzzle yet. Call Professor Davis at Harvard and find out if there is a three-let ter Egyptian Goddess of the moon beginning with 'U'. Miss Jones: Yes sir. Us: And call Frankie Roose velt and tell him to come up this afternoon and we'll thrash ITE TO EAT t INTEEN >ment upplies I Drinks Sandwiches 0 Cigarettes hiTION! )ff ice rs V-12 Students re that we welcome you to E-DAVIS COMPANY. to be of service to you. Here form requirements. or these great uniform values pushed prices down. the U, S. Navy as NJavy Officers Uniforms WVIS Co. New Field For YWCA; To Visit Boys Infirmary The Campus Service Committee of the Young Women's Christian Association has taken over a new field of work. Formerly they only visited the girls' infirmary, taking magazines and flowers to the sick. Now they will carry their work to the boys' in firnary. Charlotte Tuten and Elizabeth Gibert are co chairmen of the committee. All girls interested in this committee are urged to speak to the chairman. The Freshman YVCA. headed by president Zoa Wade. has started a new project. On certain afternoons they are going to the hospitals and read to the children in the wards. -Clean Speech (CONTINUED FROM PAGE 1) -Francis W. Bradley, )can of the school of Arts and Sciences. Members of the committee in charge of the campaign are Bill Tidwell, chairman; Ethel Lazar, secretary; Bill McGinnis, Buddy Black. Zoa Wade, Spencer Meeks, I.ib Gibert. Nleihers of the sub-committee are: Caroline Morrison. Julia Bull, jeanette I lolley, I.ucretia Hall. Essie Mahoney, Calvin McLaugh lin, Majed Akel. J. B. Brasington, Charles Sloan, Anslev Ketchin, Margie Curtis. Bill Baker, Julian inahinet, Tan Miller, Dan Ellis, Lucille Overstreet, and Rose Brown. out this war business over a little Madeira and gin rummy. Miss Jones: Yes, sir. (Later). F.D.R.: Larry, this Madeira is a most excellent vintage. Us: Yes, Frank, it is rather pal atable. One of my men in Madrid, by an admirable coup de maitre, procured it from the roval cellars. It requlired a bribe of fifty thousand, tit coute que coute, I must have my \I adeira. F.D.R.: ila. ha! I think I've got you. I knock with four. Us: No good Frank. I play my seven on your run, giving me a runtv. F.).R.: A stroke of pure genius! L.arrv, you're unbeatable. By the way, I've got to call W\innic Churchill this afternoon. Can we ,pare tih qt dviiont . to a 'ist thL English attack on Norway Us: Why yes, Frank, I think we should. Perhaps the 78th armored division, the 31st Ski Troops, the 100th Field Artil lery, the 4th and 163rd Infantry, and a component of 700 planes. And tell Winnie to send me a few more boxes of those cigars. I'm all out. Us: (modestly). Pshaw! That was nothing Frank. (Drawing a card). Trouvaille! The cased king and a rummy! Having beaten Frank at rum my and the Germans at ultima ratio regum, I felt the need of stimulation and left my reverses to see if I could bum a ciga rette. * WHY TAKI WE PAY FOR LIFE - HEALTH AND ACCiI Capital Life & Hei LESTER L. BA 1117 Hampton Street 0 Columbia Office Supply Co. P R INT ING Commercial Stationery - Office Equipment 1112 LADY STREET PHONE 5163 CAROLINA ENGRAVING C(O BEVERAGE COMPANY * ROYAL CROWN COLA 1211 ASSEMBL.Y STREET j "Look For The Dog" MEH LMAN'S 1427 Ma GARNET AND BLACK The Garnet and Blatk, Uni versity of South Carolina an nual, will appear about Sep tember 18. A statement to this effect was made Wednesday by the printers. Work on the 1944 annual has already begun. A staff meeting for new and old members will be held Tuesday, Sept. 1, in the Garnet and Blacle office on the second floor of Flinn Hall. Said Mildred Brown, editor, "All Carolina students, V-12, and civilians who are interested in working on the greatest an nual in the South, please attend the meeting." Things To Com For Week Of Au Things to come is published this guide but to correct errors containe -lead of the information center I the calendar of events, "Undoubted it now stands. Our purpose in pub chance to make the necessary cor Maxcy." SATU R DAY 7:30 A. M.-Morning Watch, Hall. 1:00 P. M.-Faculty-Students 1:40 P. M.-Noon Devotions, Hall. SUNDAY 10:00 A. M.-Church Services 1 7:30 P. M.-Vespers, Chapel. 7:00 P. M.-Conference of Or MON DAY 7:30 A. M.-Morning Watch, Hall. 1:30 P. M.-YWCA Cabinet, 1:40 P.. M.-Noon Devotions, Hall. 5:00 P. M.-Men and Vomen 7:00 P. M.-University Band, 7:00 P. M.-Independents, Sir TUESDAY 7:30 A. M.-Morning Watch, Hall. 1:10 P. M.-Noon Devotions, lHall. 7:00 P. M.-Sophomore Y M C 7:00 P. M.-Euphradian and ings. WEl)N ESDAY 7:30 A. M.-Morning Watch, Hall. 1:30 P. M.-Noon Devotions, Ha al. 5:00 P. M.-Men and Womer :00 P. M.-Car'oliua Christiai THURSDAY 7:30 I'. M.--Morning \Watch, Hall. 1:30 P. M.-Noon Devotions, Hall. 7:00 P. M.-University Band, 7:15 P. M.-Kappa Sigma Ka FRIDAY 7:30 A. M.-Morning Watch, Hall. 1:00 P. M.-Junior-Senior Y. 1:40 P. M.-Noon Devotions, Hiall. 5:00 P. M.-Meni and Wonmet -Canteen (CONTINUED FROM PAGE 1) ceen," coment ed Ritt Osblorne, chairman of 1K S 's clean-up cam p; ign comn )1Ite. Thew sidewalk canteen idea stig ges.tedl by the fraternity to relieve A CHANCE? EVERYTHING )ENT - HOSPITALIZATION tIth Insurance Co. TES, President Phones: 2-2206 or 2-8828 COMMUNITY DRUG STORE 5214 - PHONES - 9498 625 Harden Street China - Sterling Silver - Watch. SYLVAN BROS. JEWEL.ERS & DIAMOND MERCHANT Genuine MerchandIse Only -No Plot Ne Imitaties Cer. Male & Hampton -ColumbIa, S. C Record Headquarters RECORD BAR in Street Ostendorff New Bus. Manager Bill Ostendorff, junior from Charleston, is the new business manager of the Gamecock. He took over the job following the resigna tiot,of Charlie Sloan. Act'-.e in many other campus ac tivities, Ostendorff is president of Sigma Alpha Epsilon, social frater nity; president of the junior class, member of the Compass and Chart hop committee, and a member of the inter-fraternity council. Upon accepting the job, the new business manager commented, "I shall try to do the job to the best of my ability, but without the aid of student solicitors, it can't be a success. At Carolina ig. 29-Sept. 5 week to serve not only as a campus d in the schedule itself. letty Varian Crews said, in releasing ly there are errors in the schedule as lishing it is to give organizations the rections at the information desk in Baptist Student Union, Clariosophic Relations Committee, Flinn Hall. Baptist Student Union, Clariosophic for Pre-flights, Chapel. ientation Teachers, Sims F. Baptist Student Union, Clariosophic Sims, 2nd Floor Study. Baptist Student Union, Clariosophic 's Glee Club, Chapel. Drayton Hall. is, Third Floor Study. Baptist Student Union, Clariosophic Baptist Student Union, Cloriosophic A, Flinn Hall. Clariosophic Literary Society meet Baptist Student Union, Clariosophic Baptist Student Union, Clariosophic i's Glee Club, Chapel. I Club. Flini Hall. Baptist Student Union, Clariosophic Baptist Student Union, Clariosophic Drayton Hall. ppa, Abney Law Library. Baptist Student Union, Clariosophic ICA Cabinet, Flinn Hall. Baptist Student Union. Clariosophic 's Glee Club, Chapel. conjestion in th~e canteen has been approved by both Dean Childs and Dean Chase. The only drawback is a lack of funds. When this bar rier has been overcome, the new K.SI sponsored sidewvalk canteen will be opened on the walk by the caniiteen. CENTRAL DRUG CO. * 5197- PHONES-5198 1204 Main Street Capitol Bowling Palace Gervois at Marion 0 20 Sparkling New Alleys For your recreation and pleasure Open Doily 4 P. M. Till Midnight Saturday and Sunday 1 P. M. Till Midnight 0 Our Luncheonette Where delicious sandwiches e-id salads, iee cream sundaes, and sodas Blue Key Anno Directory For i Tenement 14 Escapes Fire BY DAVID FREEMON Black clouds of smoke billowed from ten.-14 last Monday. An ob servant student spotted the smoke and remembering the adage, "Where there's smoke-" he quickly sum moned the fire department. By now students were milling about in growing numbers as the smoke leaped higher and higher over the roof of the V-12 barracks. A moment later fire engines ca reened onto the scene. First came the crimson automobile of the chief followed by four thundering trucks. They halted at the front of the building which by now was covered by a darkened pall. Firemen, dressed to ward off the heat of the conflagration, piled from the engine. Sonic grasped ladders while others carried axes to smash their way to the blaze. A few were feebly equipped with only hand ex tinguishers to combat the fury of what now appeared to be an uncom batable fire. Within a matter of minutes stu dents had observed the column of black from all parts of the campus and were converging on the scene. Even Dr. McKissick had been roused, and soon the "Colonel" raced across the campus. The dauntless firemen were not to be stopped by the hazards of such a blazc, however, and soon they crept up closer and closer to the licking flames. The unremitting courage of the firemen doubtlessly saved the day, for soon the blaze was squelched. and only smouldering ashes attested to the terrifying fact that the trash container back of the building might have gone up in flames. CUT FLOWERS SLIGH'S PHONE 7761 s.s BOOKS :-: OFFICE 4 THE R. L. 1440 Main Street * ANY THING NEEDI * R ECO RI Columbia's Most Comp DIXIE RADI U-NO-WE 1712 Main Street unces No summer Blue Key, campus service" fra ternity. held a meeting Wednesday night. August 25. Oficers of this a<sociation are Bob McNair, pres ident; Buddy Pennell, vie-presi dent: and lohnny Williams, secre tary and treasurer. At this meeting an annotuncement was made coneerning the Blue Key campus directory. As it will take approximately five weeks to publish the directory, and as the semester ends soon thereafter, it was decidtd not to prepare a summer edition. During the rest of the semester work will be done so the directory can come out at the beginning of 9 the fall semester. As 600 new boys are expected in November, a sum mer issue would he stale material for them. A current project of this organi zation is a plaque containing the names of all Carolina alumni killed during the war. This will be placed in the new library. -Happy Hour (CONTINUED FROM PAGE 1) Packin' Momma". Zoa Wade from Hawaii, played several numbers on her Hawaiin guitat. Owens Kil lingsworth, baritone and M.C., sang several popular songs, to a near capacity house. Maurice Bralley, transfer from the 4 University of Texas, where he was in charge of the Saturday night floor show at the University Com mons. is in charge of the next Hap py Hour, Friday, September 3. Any talented person is invited to get in touch with Bralley. Bill McMillan es chairman of the Friday night Happy Hour which is sponsored by the "Y". :-: CORSAGES a FLOWERS 1433 MAIN STREET ND SCHOOL SUPPLIES BRYAN CO. Phone 5017 D IN THE CLASSROOM )SO@ lete Record Deportment D COMPANY -NO-RADIO Phone 22103-04 Printing Binding Engraving Lithographing hae State Co. Printing Dept. PHNE 2-a393