Historical Newspapers of South Carolina

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Visiting 1 Vanishes "I am hoping of finding Mr. Iry'ng Granoff. Perhaps, maybe you could tell mne where he is vacated?" The small immaculately attired man addressed his remarks to a non-committal look ing hybrid student parked on the steps of the Student Union skyscraper. "Yeah, I reckon I could," that in dividual said. "It ain't but ten o'clock though, and I doubt if he's up yet. Come on inside. We'll see." The two of them stepped on the government's mechanically perfect escalator, (its only trouble was that it didn't run) and climbed the three flights of stairs. All the way up the stranger seemed puzzled about some thing. Finally he spoke again. "You mean he sleeps to noon down here?" The boy nodded. "Vy in Brooklyn, his father have him up at seven o'clock sweeping out the store. He will not like it ven I tell him that." Rapping softly on the door, they were admitted by a dusky man who was wielding a broom and duster. "Mister Irvin' ain't up yet, but I'll sho tell 'im y'all are here. Come on in, he say it's awl right," and the darky took the visitor's fiat and cane. 'I'he room they entered was in semi darkness. The shades were drawn, and a muted radio played soothingly. On the bed a silken-covered mound moved, moaned, and sat up. "Vy, Izzy, vat are you doing avay down here?" the girlish Granoff voice chirped. "Oi, Oi, I am thinking of vat a hap piness it is seeing you again, Irving," the visitor gurgled as the two wrung each other's hands. "And how is every little t'ing down here in the South, huh?" "Fveryt'ing is fine, the girls are pretty, the veather is varm, once in a vile I play at a little football, and sometimes I get up and go to a class, vich is not so often. Oh, by the way, this is Izzy Steinguzzle," he said to the student, as he took off his night cap and fluffed out his curly locks. "I am happy at meeting you," Izzy said and turned back to feast his eyes on the Brooklynite. The boy accepted the compliment with a nod. "Your father sent me down to see if you vere getting along successingly down here," continued Izzy. "He vante(l to know vether you had over comc your natural tendency to frail ness and put on some veight down here." "Oi, I am doing so much better," Irving replied. "Just look," as he rolled up the sleeves of his silk pa jamas to display his honey biceps. "Veil, good for little Irving! But I must rush down town and send a vire to your father. He was so anxi ous about you." "y?" "Veil, if you needed anything, he was going to have a burning of both his stores tonight, and send you some insurance money. But I have a bet ter plan after seeing you. I shall tell him to burn only one store, and come vith all quickness to South Carolina and be a football player. It's a bet ter businessI" --U. U. 0. BAKER'S DRUG_STORE SANDWICHES SODAS SNAPPY CURB SERVICE PROMPT Motorcycle Delivery 2000 Main St. Phone 3504 "Where Friends Meet" ~wIIMI J Viking Swiftly Tall Wall All Falls Three men, and Martine Hogues, were seriously injured when the Ex tension building, built on the campus last year by W. P. A. labor, collapsed yesterday afternoon. The men injured were assistant reg istrar Finn Gill Land, Theron Mont gomery Skowls, student in the school of journalism, and Pall Garret, sports editor of the Gamecock. The front wall began to crumble at the base when a mouse, escaped from Prof. Samhell De Pass' rat trap and started gnawing at the beaver board foundation. Those working in the building were unaware of the fate in store for them as they went about their tasks. Every thing was quiet until 3:13 p. m. when a noise was heard and startled occu pants turned to see the whole build ing falling on their heads. One student, snoring peacefully through one of Dr. Have-a-Lay Blab cock's Jokes (?), aroused himself only long enough to murmur, "Don't wake me now, it's only Tuesday." Others, more cognizant of the dan ger that confronted them, rushed to safety leaving only three and one-half people in the building. Out from under the pile of debris that was once the new extension build ing was dragged the mangled bodies of the three unlucky victims of the ac cident. All the men were unconscious, but it was hard for physicians to tell whether Hogues was knocked out or was just his usual self. Ambulances rushed the men to the Columbia Hospital where prompt aid was given. Physicians described the condition of the three as hopeful, but Hogues was diagnosed as hopeless. Prof. R. L. Some Vault, who con structed the building last year, de clined to make a statement at firsi, but later questioning revealed the fact that he had forgotten to put down the foundations for the edifice. His face wreathed in agony, Prof. Some Vault altnost tore out both his hairs, as he told reporters in a quaver ing voice that nothing could ever erase the ingnominy of his first engineering failure. "Why, I built the Brooklyn bridge, and planned the construction of the Empire State building, and look at them today. To think that I should have picked my own school to make my first slip." Dean Long John Chaste was also C $1.25 VALUE EVANS Cigarette Lighter 59c TOBACCO POUCHES OIL SKINW LINED 29c All 5c CANDIES, GUM and GUM DROPS 5For 14c SHANDON 6 Campus N Viola C1 r. t Miss Carolina Belle Meet Miss Carolina Belle, one of our most unpopular co-eds-if not the most unpopular. Her unpopularity is exceeded only by her obnoxious per sonality.-A true campus nonentity! Carolina has one good trait-her frankness. When this scribbler ad miringly commented on the beauty of her pearly teeth, she immediately ad mitted they were false. S "I don't believe in making false ap- s( pearances," she croaked. Ii Her superstitions? Ah, she has 01 thousands. And are they super! She is believes that letters delivered by the n postman on Sunday are bad luck, so she always tears them up unread. F The favorite dish of this campus B impersonality, a string-haired peroxide sl blonde, is fish boiled in peach syrup. C Next to this she prefers sauerkraut smothered in chocolate sauce. ir Her honors? Oh, goodness, Caro- I lina has run for president of the fresh- d; man class, vice-president of the sopho- 1i more class, secretary of the junior h class, and historian of the senior class. g She was defeated all times. "I don't h understand why people won't vote for ti mc," she squawked as she popped her Ii chewing gum and strung it out a f yard from her ugly mouth. She has also run for numerous other offices is and been defeated. h A fascinating hobby she has-try ing to see how much candy she can o snitch off the dime store counters without hing detected. At present, Carolina is running for e May queen. "This is one honor I t should have, because the right girl is never elected," she hopefully ventured. a As for dancing, Carolina is as clumsy as an octopus trying to truck. Her a: awkwardness is ever a drawback to her. By way of closing, she thinks just pi being Carolina Belle is fun. out of the building because he was called into a conference with Marshal J. M. Cantey on the new libra,ry to be constructed on the University foot ball field next week. "I V L. " olumbia. Q su pl $1.25 VALUE Parkette Fountain Pen II 69c i MADE BY PARKER h $1.10 VALUE p, Pinaud Bath POWDERo 49C CIGARETTES ALL POPULAR BRANDS Per Pkg. 1 5c Per ;4 Carton= Tax Paid REEN HOUSE Florists Best Place For Buying Corsages And Cut Flowers 9 L J. 1 ?~ lb onentities ry I th pr ev ni: U 0in fo let *" stt . fI .* * -fo I' to . -da de it Benjie Police You know himi Yes, dearie me! hort, squatty, and bristling with per nality (see picture), he's always iding in some corner or other. Like ur other nonentity of this week he a true campus nonentity. My good ess, yes! Meet Benjie Police!!! Benjie has one good trait, (he says). [e believes that silence is golden. And enjie is so silent that the government iould have him up for hoarding. [fusn't hoard, Benjie!). And has he superstitions? Oh, yes, ideedy!!! My, my, tsk, tskl "I never reathe from Thursdays to Satur ays," he says. (Not even a single ttle once, Benjie?) This superstition e inherited from his great great randmother, an old Connecticut shep erdess, who got this belief from a -aveling Injun. (We just bet that njun was your great great grand ther, Benjie) The favorite dish of this nonentity buttermilk. "It gives me .a kick," e says. (In the pants, Benjie?) Benjie at present, like so many thers of our campus, is running for ffice. But Benjie doesn't care what ffice he runs for. lie thinks, how ver. that he will run for the regis ar's office. His favorite color? Oh, speckled by I1 means! "Have you a favorite author?" we ;ked. "No!" (Oh, Benjie!) "Have ynn a favorite musical iece?" we asked. "No!" (Oh, dearie me!) "Do you blush?" "Yes, pea green," our campus non ttity answe:ed. .' with 1his we say farewell to you, enji. iolice! You're going places! LASHY FEMME LAYS FIDDLE M. Felice DoOrmat, director of the niversity Sympathy orchestra, has an unced that she will begin giving les- - ns on the bass fiddle next semester. The orchestra leader, who has been ccessful in instructing students in the aying of the smaller fiddle, said that constantly growing demand had made r decide to add the bass fiddle to the t of her instruments. M. DoOrmat is recognized as one of e leaders in art of b)ass-slapping. She is slapped the bass fiddle for leading chestras in the Unitedl States and the nited States, as well as in South Caro ia. --t. U. 0. In the old days of the University a udent wvho broke the rule against aving the city of Columbia withoutc: ~rmission was required "to construe - id commit to memory twenty lines Virgil's Aeneid, and not be seen it of the campus until he had done A tLLT HE SE STARS 1 bringing Iaugh-Iove-and song time round ogaini .'ICE TONY) F AYE- MARTIN SALLY. IRENE IIrMARY. JMMY OURAilTE GREGORY RATOFF MARJORIE WEAVER - LOUISE HOVICK. BARNETT PARKER , - J.EDWARD BROMBERG SFRED ALLEN Songs! The latest bay 8eMIk @E ina .. Starts Monday1 PALMETFO 'oliticians P romulgate I So that students may have some check the campaign promises when Septen r rolls around, the Inkybaiter here pub hes some of the statements made at political rally Wednesday night: BRANDY RATHAM: (candidate for esidency of senior class) "I'm the stuff, erybody likes me. Boy. can I play ten >! I'm the kind of guy that you need the presidency." CARRIE McCARTIIY: (candidate r editorship of Garnet and Black) Vhat the annual needs is a strong si it man. What the annual needs is a rn man. I shall never open my mouth. offer you me." SARAH IURRYSOME: (candidate r social cabinet) " . . . . and I promise dance with all the boys at all the nces. (1 F they vote for inc.)" SOL PLOT: (candidate for presi icy of sophomore class) "I can't help if pop's a big shot, too." LUNCF Ref reshn rI Here comes r freshrhent-fc in a six-bottle at home. Carollna Ei THINK OF COLUMBI? Prod SOLD AT TH BUSINESS Is Essential to Everyone, Ps Women. Day, Night DRAUGHON'S BU 1218 Sumter Street : Frank W. Lykes, Pres. Mrs. D. T. Faulkii PATRONIZE YC IN DOING 80, YOU CAMPUS STOR SPECIAL RATEE COLUMBIA 1323 Taylor Street Columbia's Most Mode Shoe Repair Shop .. . -EXPERT WoE1 --SATISFACTION -WE CAL.L FOE Leave Your Worl New Shoe "3verything F 1345 Main St nainmt Page Seggum roudly promises RALPH BEARTIi: (candidate for presidency of student body.) "I don't know how I'll do it. unless someone stokes the votes in the ballot box and feather the ness for me." CAT P'ERSIMMONS: (candidate for cheerleader) "Come on gals you know I'm cute." DOUG MONKEY: (candidate for presidency of senior class) "A packard with a chauffeur free to every senior. Entertainment on the back seat included." CHERRY PHEWS: (candidate for presidency of student body) "unac customed as I am to public speaking . er . . unaccustomed as I am to public speaking . . er . . uh . . unaccustomed as I .am to. . , . .m IIAUeL Jl iue ed on ' The Gamecock as Sports ! '. an Associate Editor. yoMuckenfuss,_who the n,1-~- R ike I TIME lent Time :freshment - pure, wholesome re. r all the family and its friends . carton. Six bottles for your icebos Columbia Coca-Cola Bottlng Cu. Columbia, B. C. ravi Co. DAIRIES' ucts E CANTEEN TRAINING .rticularly College Men and and Special Classes SINESS COLLEGE Telephones 5951 and 6317 Win. Lykes, Jr., V.-Pres. berry, Sec.-Treas. )UR LAUNDRY ALSO HELP YOUR E AND REMEMBER TO STUDENTS LAUNDRY Telephone 4954 rn GUARANWTEED AND DELIVER c at the Canteen Hospital da. The W-h hao."