The gamecock. (Columbia, S.C.) 1908-2006, April 01, 1936, Page Page Free, Image 5
Mating
Love Lorn Letters
By Liven Learn
Dear Liven Learn;
I am a professor in a big Law
School, the University of South Caro
lina. My outlook on women is that of
the typical Southerner-I think that
the - woman's place is in the home,
while her husband's is not only that
of making a living but protecting her
honor and that of her family;
My dear lady, the most serious
case to a lawyer, whether young or
old, (I am young) is that of which
cupid takes charge, therefore I plead
to you as Judge,. I am 26 years old
and have an excellent mind, and am
the most popular professor at the Law
School; I am in a financial position
such as would invite matrimony, I
have a good automobile and am from
a good family, in short, I am accep
table in every way as a husband. She,
Miss Warren, is a big sorority girl,
an acedemic student, and much
younger than I (which causes me no
end of worry), in fact, Dear Liven, j1
one of the Law students is apparently 01
beating my time; this, of course, puts b
me in a desperate state of mind, with 01
my ability unquestioned, With my love tj
undoubted, I beg of you, Dear Miss a
Learn, to advise me as to the most
expedient method to bring about the
culmination of this love affair in matri- ft
mony.
Yours in Dispair,
Carlisle Roberts. 8
Dear Carlisle; ti
My poor boy, yours is not a problem B
which may be handled in a legal or W
theoretical manner, rather it is a prac- W
tical affair of the heart and must be d
so dealt with. My advice to you is fa
that you bust the guy who dares to h
compete with you, put the girl in your n
shiny new automobile (without an es
cort of sorority sisters) and take her d
to Florida (preferably Gainesville) and
there, amid the beauties of nature,
shining in the reflected light of your
brilliance, she will no doubt consent _
to be your ball and chain.
Here's Hoping,
Liven Learn.
-V. . O.
Brazil is 250,000 sq. miles larger
than the U. S.-Brazil's population
is 41,079,000-The U. S's. population
is 122,775,046.
we'
Smoke
Paul
Bearer
Cigarettes
(It's Rousted)
Blend of domestic hay and- el
well, you guess. Smoke one at s
breakfast--Smoke one at din- u
nor--Try to smoke one at sup
per.
F. WILDS GILLESPIS AND
CECIL MIEK
Friendly Cafeteria
1307 Hampton Avenue
(Opposite First Bap~tist Church)
BEST COOKED FOOD IN TOWN
Mrs. 3. H. Hope Mrs. L. H. Spann ,
*DEPENDABLE "
y M, Trucking:.
* usse . and .
*ea- e Taxi .
I .$F.sw%RVICE U
* T'elephone 3189-8188 U
mU
: Checker Cab Co. .
The White Cars.
"COLUMBIA'S MOST UNIQUE"
Opposite the Jefferson Hotel
Opan AU Night Phone Sam
roblems
The 'Wages
Of .Sin
4..j
. 1
This twilight scene was snapped
u3t before dark, and at whal
her time would a twilight scene
snapped? Huh? Anyway it'i
18Sumter Street just across froni
Le library, and Bill Brown, thai
EQ-round&but-very-Ettle-good-for
gything-athlete, is expected any
dinute now, so be patient. His
ither-in-lay-don't.want-to-be, thh
rtorially perfect gentleman witt
ie cane, is guarding the object of
ill's affections until aforemenr
oned Don Romeo sneaks along
tIl must be a pretty good guy, be.
muse the bearded gentlemar
on't trus t his accomplished
sughter alone for one minute foi
ar a heartless villain will grat
Dr before Bill comes. Bill told
e that all his girl friends
6thers were glad for theii
sughters to go out-nay evex
sss out-with Bill. But you no.
ce that the old codger is still
aiting--and looking-for Bill.
I'LL BITE
. . ..
htis twih sellne his s?e
and beorLUrBSn awa
snappoed?y,h Anwayemet
Danlibrar, Pil roam, tAil
K1rind ofBoeyIl Pitig.o-fr
11te now, s. hoe iet.Hi
ntral perfetgtemno.t
SedDnRmeo neakhus--on
on't tru shiss aompf se
cuhtraoie for one m teo
PhbfreBl oe.. illto7
L e thallhi gilfred
tes were ad foradhel
"Te thacte oldt cosdei set
Turn, i
Drys' Conv
Dean Frierson's headquarters for
immediate vicinity. You might obs+
Desparado Dis
Doing De
With Threats And Bullets Flying, B
Among The Desks Of Ti
With two six shooters (guns-not
pints) flaming, a curly headed bandit
backed out of the Treasurer's office
last evening carrying a gunny (no
pun intended) sack containing Frankie
i Welbourne's week's take from Chase's
various nefarious rackets under his
arm.
Your reporter, from his vantage
point behind the extension building
(whither he had scurried after the I
first shot, still speaking of guns, mind
you) recognized Scruggs Hope as the
dastardly villian; we (Dr. Baker had
then joined the vigilantes behind the
Extension building) phoned the Mar
shall's nffice and having succeeded in
arousing that inestimable gentleman
from his noon (12 a. m. till 12 a. in.)
siesta, reported the crime; the mar
shall, having elicited a promise that
we would warn him if the bandit came
within his territory (office) went back
to sleep, and Lenny and I were left i
to stop the desparad unaided, o,
pocketing our pride, we dashed into 1
Chase's office and described the hap- 1
pening. Chase then went smoothly 1
into action; he called Bradley and
ordered that the Machine be put in
motion, he even called the Kiwanis, in
fact he fairly screamed, he spouted I
Pettycoat Fev<
P~Lague T(
An epidemic of pettycoat fever has
spread over the University campus.
Such notables as professor "Billy"
Woods, Gus Pearlman, Rhea Haskell
and Bill Howey have already suc
cumbed to the dreaded plague. Grave
doubt is expressed as to their possible
recovery.
The situation is tense. Specialists,
attending the victims, have been un
able to determine the. origin of the
malady. No one seems to know the
initial victim or where he might have
become exposed.
Rumors are prevalent. Facts are
jumbled. It is even gossiped that the
dean of women could throw light on
the matter but she refuses to enlight-i
ene.1
Professor "Billy," the most serious 1
case, was only recently exposed to the
disease. Shortly after the exposeur,
EQUIP]
New beds, springs, rmses, st
have been Ina11d in the inflrmary,
of Sawbones Heywar,d. If you will
the dresse, you osa see the sanil
Dootr.
ro To
ention Stamnpin
his next temperance convention. A
3rve him behind the barn stealing a
covered 1
stardly Deeds
aker And Chase Leap Into Action
Le-Extension Building
;tatistics as to how much bad been
aken in the numbers racket and how
nany students' fathers were farmers, t
e called Flinn Gilland and demanded e
t report on the religious preferences of n
he students whose money was being d
tolen, but then appeared the hero. g
Wild Bill Carrigan had been stroll
ng on the campus and, seeing the ti
-obbery, had captured the culprit, he
iow dragged Scruggs into Chase's
sanctum and tossed him on the desk,
mis job being complete he modestly
withdrew, leaving us in the embarass- t
ng predicament of having to face this a
!esperate and well armed character
vith no 'greater protection than a filing
:abinet with Gilland in it; fortunately h
for yours truly the great Machine had b
een put in motion in the interim and
inw, fresh from having elected May
ueen, it arrived piloted by Louis a
earson and completely demolished the 8
>andit and is now well on the way to 3
:aking control of the entire Reg;s t
rar's racket, except that Chase is i'
ioled up in the vital statistics file and
he Machine has no access to the in- .c
ormation concerning the type of corn- h
lakes preferred by the out-of-state a
tudents without which it- cannot func- s
ion. c
b
wr Provesa
> Young Prof
ie fell seriously ill. The latest bulle
in reports that his heart has speeded
ip and in his delirium he is whisper
ng sweet *nothings into the ears of
uis physicians.
The insidious affliction has affected
Mfr. Pearlman in an entirely different
nmanner. It has driven him mad. He
s continuously raving of his true love.
We regret that it is impossible to
anote his remarks. His physician, at
:empting to prevent spread of the
>lague, has already quarantined the
>atient.
The remaining cases, Mr. Haskell
und Mr. Howey, are not quite as seri
us as those mentioned above but
great fear is expressed for them by
heir friends. These young men have
>een exposed on numerous occasions,
~ach time being immune, but it seems
hat they are finally victimized.
!ENT
sets, dfresser, andi pillow cas
tak to the progressive work
take a close look at the mirror in
ng countenance of our beloved
"Empty
Ground
til
rc
964
tl
S1
w
01
C
in
lI the food will be raised in the fi
smoke--but you probably won't. t
rosh Lawyers
Battle Doctors 1
--.- fl
n Drinking Tourney 1
irst Year Law Students And
Freshmen Pre-Meds Wage r
War For Alcoholic Title 5
Announcement was made yesterday t.
> the effect that the freshman law
lass had challenged the freshman
medical class, in Charleston, to a
rinking tournament to be held in
rangeburg, neutral grounds.
Dean Frierson seems to think that
ie lawyers will defeat the doctors
'ith all ease since a number of his
udents have entered examinations
'hile under the influence of intoxica
ng beverages and on one occasion,
senior passed-out while taking a
nal.
Rules for the drinking tournament
ad not been drawn up at press time
ut a committee composed of Dean
rierson, Carlisle Roberts, and Charlie
,lliott will tmUr the foreign country
nd make arrangements. It was sug
ested that the team that passed out
/4th of the other's should win. In
,is respect, the la.,yr's wi have to
)rfeit in two or three cases.
At the freshman law banquet re
pntly, Berry Lane Anderson, he who
olds hands with coeds while looking
t furniture, was the first to hit the
lowers. He held out as long as he
:uld but could not stand the pace set
y other. memb)ers of the class.
Preparations for the classic will be
inounced in the 1947 issue of the
ellow sheet.
-u..a. 0.
HALL OF SHAME
President-Jim Goggans.
1st V.-Pres.-J. H. Pruitt
2nd V.-Pres.-Fred Davis
3rd V.-Pres. Jim Polatty
1st Bull-,Tohn Owings
2nd Bull-Zack Sabbagha
1st 0ow-C. S. Wright
2nd Cow-J. Swearingen
Beer Boy-Andy Hill
Ass. Asst.-M. N. Milhous
"CE LLOP HAl
IT FACTOR
15$
Bottle"
'AULEY REPLACES
BEN WANNAMAKER
Frankie Pauley, noted sprint artist,
Is consented to taking over the du
!s as chief waiter at the University
ess hall, since Ben Wannamaker has
en incarcerated in the municipal bas
e.
When approached by an inquiring
porter, I'auley was munching on a
raham" cracker, his favorite brand.
would like the job very much," he
id. "I have never liked to eat and
is job might bring out that inmate
iality which I have longed for since
y college days."
--U. $. 0.
aul Gaffney Suffers
From Love Bird's Bite
Paul Gaffney, would-be shortstop on
:amman's wonder team (wonder
hat it's gonna do) was stopped short
his goal this week by A. D. Pi's
atherine Turner, and forced to hand
his uniform.
"She sapped me of my sap," ex
ained Paul after collapsing upon the
eld. "The bat isn't big enough and
e balls seem to shrink. I can't go
The first.sign of Gaffney's weakened
ndition made itself apparent last
[onday when Coach was batting out
ics during field practice. Gaffney
1st couldn't seem to hang on to
tamman's balls as was his custom.
While the Turner gal could not be
ached for a statement last evening,
ie confided in her sisters that 'Paul,
spite of his reputation, "just can't
ke itl"
-UT. e. 0.
CANTON GARDEN
1233 Main Street
CHINESE & AMERICAN
FOODS
Luncheons - Dinners
PHONE 7593
CAROLINA STUDENTS
ARE
A T 1A a irrn7 n ?L&a=.U .
AT
CAPITOL CAFE
COLUMBIA'S OLDEST
ARTIST MATERIAL
for the
Professional and Student
ROSE-TALBERT
PAINT CO.
198 Taylor Street
Phone No. esoe
~E KEEPS
Y FRESH"