Historical Newspapers of South Carolina

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Camb Athletes Take Rigid Reduction Eighty-Eight Per Cent Pay Cut Accepted By Varsity Men In All Major Sports Carolina sthletcs will rcceive 88 per cent wage cuts for the coming year according to action taken at a meeting yesterday of the Athletic Conspiracy Plank. Only 50 football players, 30 baseball men, and twenty track and basketball stars will receive direct subsidy from now on. The football players' pay was reduced from $200 per month to $10 per weekend. This will no doubt stop the constant flow of star athletes from Notre Dame, Southern California, and other small schools from coming to Carolina. It may mean that some of the men will have to join the Gigilo Club which action is very abborent to our boys. Basketball men will in the future receive recompense at the rate of $1 per basket. A bonus of $5 will be paid to every gamecock who can foul his opponents without being seen. Tracksters will be paid on a distance bases, $3 for the first lap and a dollar extra for each additional lap. Coach Nurmi declares this will induce some of the Roosters to finish their races. It is interesting to noat thct last year only three Gamecocks ever placed in a meet. This year it is hoped that at least ten shall place. Two bucks will go to every baseball player for each hit he gets, and a line of three stones will be levied for each error. This is expected to be one of the biggest sources of income to the athletic appartment, since last year the hole teem made twenty hits and 84 errors. Boxers will receive two bits for each left they connect, four bits for a right, and a dollar for each foul, since the spectators demand fouls. $10 will go to any Carolina bug who finishes the whole three rounds. Of course this provision will not cost the company nothing. There will be no tennis squad as everybody has gone to playing ping pong. Fensing has been discontinued because of the expense on sewing up so many tome pants seats. Coach Lilly Valley says if you want to jump fenses go in your own back yard. | j^^OUI^STOREs'' j||j 11 t THE CANTEEN || i j i Sandwiches, Cold Orlnkt, Toilet Articles, College |K;| ! | M [ J UNIVERSITY BOOK STORE \M 1 The Official Book Store fSjil n - !|i CAROLINA PRESSING club ill For One dry cleanlno ^ *3?j| m .A-J ./;|| '(i ifirtftmill'i iViiii i mi Evans Motor Co. jj Dial 8103 then count the j> ; I minutes !; I; 24 HOUR SERVICE i; i 1 P. H. LACHICOT DEALERS FOR FIFT DIAMONDS?W ATCHES1424 Main Street SILVERS AT MODER, WATCH AND JEWE DON'T BE BULL-DOZED IN BETTER REPAIR Nothing but the very best of m 10% Discount to Stuc NEW SHOE 1325 Main All Work Q i&y/' ' rige ( Water Wets Timid Mermen In a perfectly fierce tussle in which nc quarter was given because they had onlj halfs, the Buoy's Sewing Circle of Tene ment 29, severely chastised a sweet anc lovely Sigma Pheu swimming team in i perfectly ducky swimming match in th< fish pond in front of Le Conte. Tea was served during and between the quarter! for the nominal sum of a quarter. The Sigma Phcus arrayed in daring suits of''lavender with green stripes, witl yellow fringes presented a bold front at though not much of a hack. The Buoy's Sewing Circle dazzled the audience witl striking suits of pea green, with pinl stripes embroidered with a light shade ol robin egg blue. Captain Joe Smiot carrying a bride': bouquet of funeral wreaths and lilly: from the Congorarce Valley, led th< Sigma Phcus into the spray. "Tiny' Rivers splashed and splashed agains Mossy Banks. "Farmhand" Roberts dis played a dazzling physic that gained tin admiration of all that attended. The match griped the attention of al those present and so J. Scion Mac Sis sockies Jovial Journalistic Jolliers fur nished the music instead of the Philadelphia Philharmonic Harmonica Orches tra which failed to put in an appearance. Plunging by James Menzies Pant: Black from the top of a beer bottle intc the pond was the feature of the afternoon. Graham Crackers, one of th< Georgia Crackers, of Cracker, Crackei and Cracker, Inc., referced the perfectlj thrilling encounter. u. R. o 5 Monnie roundin third base to wir mile run in recent basketball game. (, ? BUCK'S BARBER SHOP i With Charlie & Monroe Barbers 1205 Lady Street i ? COLUMBIA OFFICE SUPPLY CO. "EVERY OFFICE NEED" Office Furniture, Filing Cabinet*, . Safe* Printing and Rubber Stamps 1112 Lady Street 'Phone B163 TE & CO., INC Y YEARS IN FINE -JEWELRY?CLOCKS VARE Columbia, S. 0. ATE PRICES LRY REPAIR DEPT. YOUR SHOE REPAIRING ING FOR LESS aterials are used in our shop tents and Professors HOSPITAL Phone 9605 uaranteed 2o-ed Fowl Bawls ' Kliner Steps Out ' I A recent survey by the A. A. A. U . rated our Lamecocks high above any ex ! I peclations, even our own. The Feetfal team was placed 427th in the U. S. A. an< (I 106th in the South. All prospects ar ; toward breaking the 400 mark next yea s with Hooey Smurchisom leading the tean: Make Second All-State r Rising to a new height in hardwooi , P^y for this school, Teddie Lump kins was placed on the second all-stat basketball team chosen last week. Hi 5 uncle Ninny Lumpkins almost got hon i orable mention but the officials decide c his profile would not stand the publicity Congratulate Glosser "Doctor Glosser is the greatest ma: s connected with Carolina", was the over s I whelming acclamation of a meeting o ? the student body. He almost put Kline on the map" last year by shifting th t Auburn game to Birmingham. This yea he completed the good work by buildinj up the best basketball schedule ever t< ! come Kliner's way. I * Facts of Life Byraving Scutt, boy hero, world re . nowned lover, premier trackman, kidnap . per of babies, scourge of the campus, but . of the Carolinian, but mostly a grca crooner, gambler and lover of the dancc , has uprooted the bush by the roots and i , vainly searching for the bird, so that In . I will make the bird do write by our Nell ; When Scutt finds the boid he intends t< - plant the bush by a hutt by the side o r I a quiff, and see that the boid builds i nest in the bush by the hutt by the sidi of a quiff. v I'm Good "I'll give Charlie Paddock a hundre< I yard start on a bicycle and lead him ; quarter at the finish of the two mile,' stated John "Bald Buzzard" Behling to ; pressman in an inclusive interview las I week. Not only that but I'll spot Bryai Butt 50 yards and outrun him in the hun drcd with one leg tied." (The "Buzzard' I was still spouting when the reportei I strolled down the track to interviev I another of the schools shrinking viole / athletes.) Bandy-shanked Bill Weeny, darkhors( on many a track and couch, avowed ; secret ambitions to make a "C" for tin first time in his collegiate career. Here ' to fore he has made all "A's". He at I tributes all his success to the experieno lie got in milking bossies on his grand daddies farm up in New Jersey. Boxers Bewair Daniel Herman Ergle ii ' an ,ntramural flyweight Look out opponents. Tin candidacy of Pee We< Ergle came as a surprise b&y \ to ,lis fncntls a,uI enc /4rw* \ n,ics alike. He is one o the best pugs ever to b produced by Bridge Ring High School lie boasts a wicked left and a sizzlini i right and will no dout enter the ring ai I overwhelming favrit. Tennis Players? Gigantic George Goldman and Jerr; Versey have been practicing tennis faith fully every day except Saturday, whei they go faithfully to church. The Gold . man and Versey combination are expectei . to sweep the collegiate tennis world ii the near future. P. I. o. Bass' Big Boys J Beat Bad Boobs I Sweeping down the floor in a spectac j|ular last minute rally, the University Ping Pong team, led by Captain Free mun Hussy, decisively defeated the agI greg.ition from Columbia Insane AsyI him in a playoff for the championshi] of the Southern States on the College I j barbecu e Ofs] Curb Rcrvicc A /Specialty PIG W1CH BAR-B-Q 1240 Hampton Street PARKE RATE CENTRAL DEUaS 1204 Mi "THE REX, s Cra' r Hooey Smurchinson, Klincrs new i. koach. % Smurchison Made - Life Time Coach c ? Leaves High School J Mourns Leaving Moringtown r- Maddogs To Smirch Record Of Lovebirds This Spring n Prospccts of Carolina's placing in the - Richland County College Football League f next year were given a great boost yesr terday when I looey Are Smurchison c signed a lifetime contract to coach the r Lovebirds. g Hooey is regarded as one of the best 0 coaches ever to instruct a high school team and is expected to be just as good at Carolina. Last year he led the Morningtown Maddogs to third place in the - Tri-state Valley Conference. In accepting the new place he said: t "I hated to leave dear old Morningtown t but I just had to get away from my wife. I admit I made a poor selection s in choosing Carolina but no matter how c lonsy the school is nor how sad the I. athletic conditions here arc, I know we 1 will not lose as many games as the f Lovebirds did under Lilly Valley. * "1 he big reason behind this promise p is that we will play only eight games while previously we lost all fifteen. "I make this open statement because I am a notorious Bible scholar and a J great admirer of Georgcous Swashing1 stein. Come up to see me sometime." Smurchison's appointment me* with 1 great favor among the athletes. It is 1 widely known that he was largely in1 strumental in helping all the Morningtown men to stay in school. r, Schedules Soft Avers Glosser c ^ 3 "Carolina will have a decent schedule c in all sports the year after next," declares . Doc. Raft Glosser, Misdirector of Stu. dent Activeness. e "Especially will the basketball squad . face a higher class of opposition in 1936. I didn't get them much of a schedule for next year because I didn't want other people to think we are trying to show s off. Just wait until our good players arc j all gone and I will show you what we e can do." e Listen to Grantlon Ricey: "South ? Kliner had one of the best bascetball _ teams that her section of the state had f seen in almost a year. Why, if they had e played Tinclucky or Moter Flame this year I have every confidence that they ? would have scored on at least one of the i, ,wo"But instead they just piddled around South Kliner and didn't get nowhere". Doctor Glosser says that next year the y basketeers will meet Andersman, Guiltard, Appalachson, and Mar/ill. He even u ventures to say that lie believes they have an outside chance of breaking even in the ;j four Contests. ? Next years track team will meet Lexingland High in their only go of the year, "The boys will have to run barfcet," Doctor Glosser ses, "since I have used up all the money on a new automobile. Come around I will take you for a spin sometime." The 1934 football schedule assignment - follows : September 28? Erzkine, October f 2?Hi Pint, Oct. 5?Coe Collogc, Oct. 11 ? Maryville Rats, Oct. 19?Foimen (the rats). January 1?Southern Califawnia a la Rose Bole. > v. *, o . Shop court last night. The last minute substitution of "Daisy" Hanibright for "Brute" Warner due to the latter s removal because of a severe attack of athlete's foot in the last live minutes of play, plunged the Souse Carolina lx>ozers into a frenzy of despair as Hamhright's light weigiil kept him off the Ping Pong team his first nine years in school. Last night however he broke loose and twisted and turned and eluded outstretched bats to make a gain of ten yards down the table before he was tackled ten yards from the net, by Sue DRUG CO. ?AP ain Street NIGHT ALL 8T0RE" wl Ca ~<i Love Birds Is Varsity Name "Lovebirds" will be the name of Carolina athletic teams after this year. The change was brought about on the recommendation of several coaches, officials and a few sports righters, who declared that the representatives of this- school were anything but Gamecocks. "All our athletes arc sisseys and teahounds," avers coaches Lilly Valley and ' yim Sullyvan." Tag is their idea of a real he-man game, and none of them will cat their spinach." The boxers absolutely refuse to assault their opponents, prcfcring rather to stand at ten paces and ring their foe's nose with a smoke ring. This has provoked Coach Reddie MiKoll to the verge of exasperation since he cannot handle even the flyweight under this new system. Touch football was unanimously ruled off the athletic curriculum because the doctors all testified that it was too strenuous on the heart, and the slaps the runners received on their backs left big bruises. Top-spinning has been added with Sheik Milady as captain. Games will be played with Peedinont and Rawlings. Carolina may also get vengeance on Pitsburg for the recent overwhelming defeat they plastered on our lu-lpless little boys, the ole mcanies. Tri Melta Pucks Dies The Torrid Tartars (this is not a.tooth paste add) of A. I). Pie and the Dazzling Dames of 1812, pardon, of Melta Melta Melta fought to a frozen finish in a thrilling ice-hockey game last Saturday on the rink around the rosy. (Pocket full of posies?you know the old gag.) Sizzling Sallie Bailey skidded a mean puck, but "Hotcha" llarlcv proved too much for the Melta demosielles. When she puckered, boy, masculine moans shook the rafters as the males yelled for more? The Tri Melts blushed for shame and secretly resolved to smooch up on their puckering for next year. At any rate the score was puck and puck with two pucks to pucker (Who said persimmon?) when Maigarct Cue Soap-in-lathcr passed the puck what is this, a game?) to "Madcap" Maxic Gawker who slithered it into the net to win by a puck for dear old A. D. Pie. "Ice-hocky is great for us gals," panted Lanky Lib Lcighton, captain of the A. 1). Pie's after the game, "It keeps us prettily puckered for our dates." 1 his is a new sport for the weakening sex at the University (I lockey, not puckering.) hut it bids fair to put the long established sport of necking on the bum in short order. ATTEI ME ZZ?. * rolina Angles Worm Way To Win All-England Co-ed Rowers Romp On Undefeated Oaroliner Boatment In Last Minute Kongree Swamp, USA, Frydy 13%-. Before a small but popcyed audience Carolina's nationally infamous boating crew coxed by the bellowing "Tuch, Tuch" Billiard swept drea/hily down the Kon gree 5 ft. behind the All-England visitors. The All-Angleland sailors conic mainly $ from Oxbridge and Camford and boasts vickrics over the Puniversity of Aris and the 5 month college of USSR. For the first 2 min. it seemed that the over-C team wud win, Cockswaync Billiard was kissing his girl good-by at the dok, but husky Stroke Matty Machugh tuk his place and the men were ofT amid the strings of "Damyankeedoodlcdandy" j and Trixie Land." Minus the scr-vices of the unwelcome Billiard (dident need him noway) the local Lovebirds soon were floating neking and neking with the ANGEL-land CoEds. (Editor's Note: This USA rej>orter forgot to mention that the visitors were goils?noboby aint enterested noway). After rushinfe the goils pretty fast for 25 miles, the local Lovcy-Dovics gave up in despair and gallantly anchored their passionate frigate just 5 ft. from the goal line, while the victorious weaker sex vikrously beat it across the aforementioned line "As 1000's cheered." Members of Carolina's first defeated crew who arc drowning their sorrows in the "quart a month" in the ncrtiest state in union suits arc: Matty Machugh, All- i butt Burgies, Kenneth Adams-apple, etc. . ' Names of other men were lost when officials threw the score cards away in their frantic efforts to reach the beautiful victors. I Co-ed Captin I BRING YOUR DATES !; LUNCHES?SODAS II CAROLINA SWEETS jj ?! Opposite Carolina Theatre j! moF N! . v j I . ^ The Largest Assortment of Shirts in South Carolina PIEDMONT SHIRTS Ifj 99c up The Kind of Styles and itterns You Would Want to Wear Men's Ties in Latest Spring Patterns 75c to $1.00 OUT-RATE HEN'S SHOP I for economical smartness 1430 MAIN STREET i