Historical Newspapers of South Carolina

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1/ Vs. f r A I j aCAA v. I , > " 0 neighing for pettier co-eds I The Qamecook staff has a !/] vO || S 8 8J 1 Jll? ^ ty TP* T\ NOTICE i ss,lss?j!??s: ' "t I IUIVJL ' W0 III II I I 11/ k? ??,?,, ???,^il7. "* ~r^? w ^ i v_/1\ xrasssrs UNIVERSITY OF . >k CniTTM ^ . Gamecock will be issued >\vl.tfo.l'r \ SOUTH CAROLINA twice daiiy Volume OKMNX, No. Won not ith/tot a !SMBai^ Founded April 1, 1933?Expired April 1, 1933 Beer Bradle % Nude Co-eds Are Centers Of Attention Dean Sheds Clothes And Student Body Follows Example; All Pleased Professors Comment Carolina Discards Corsets And Creeping Underwear In Great Emancipation "A nudist colony with all the frills, or rather without any of the frills, will henceforth be the aim of the University of South Carolina," announced Dean Francis Bradley, following a recent meeting of the Faculty Council, when it was decided that clothes, and not courses, would be dropped hereafter. "For centuries education has been encumbered by conventions and by clothes. Carolina has awakened, these evils shall be no more. We shall have freedom?freedom from corsets and creeping underwear. Emancipation day has come. And there is nothing like a good old country-style emancipation in a nudist colony," quoth Doctor Bradley from the heights of the Maxcy monument, shucking coat and pants as he orated. The nudist movement was started at the University in 1872 by Rastus Johnson, Negro, who was the first student in America to sleep without his pajamas. (As a tribute to his leadership Davis College was named after Student Johnson. The name Davis is used to confound freshman in the throes of registration.) 1 he high mark of Carolina nudism was t^e recent recognition accorded a graduate by the outstanding magazine f>! the nation. Miss Jera Vones, once popular co-ed (editor's note?oh, would that my foresight were as good as my hindsight), has, as a result of her missionary work in the magazine field, had the degree of Nu.D. (doctor of unveiled epidermis) by Winthrop College. 1 he popularity of the nudist movement at t arolina is clearly indicated by the statements of the professors: ( rv F. LIPSCOMB: ! expect to shed everything except my eyeglasses. OSCAR L. KEITH: Being a connoisseur of nudist colonies, I can say ' '<?t I expect to enjoy this innovation v<?ry much. E. C. COKER: During all my J cars as chairman of gounds and wildings committee, I have striven to cjange this campus into a garden of eden. At last my fondest dream is to come true. JOHN A. CHASE: From now on ^ Cn I sc"d a note to a co-ed that I JConUnued on Papa ?; Column t) FlinnHall Poc Taken < ",c Carolina billiard team, hitherto |,l,( *r the direction of Argee Bell and sometimes spoken of as the Flinn Hall 00 friends, has been taken over by ,?ac 1 Laval?famous for his .ampjonship teams. t is against the rules to have a janipionship team at the University so ,0|Ut n,C ^ie coach of it, and w ien these boys started showing tontV??d stuff. I just naturally had a e them over," said Coach Laval "'commenting on this move. Rell't|S sliamc," bellowed him u- Uzzar<l' without bothering to from US nose' "I raised that team ar . a.rack ?f cue sticks and now they )C|ng snatched away from me as Reject y Leadi it Caustic Critiqi Century * "Dis Play Might Be De Berries V Ain't Got Nuthin' On Sum Saw In My Day,'' Saj Editor's Note:?The following review of Kdg.Tr Allan Poc was written exclusively for The Horsedoctor hy Carolina's widely known amateur critique, Frankic Harvin. Little Frankic obtained his early training on the Columbia Rccord. To most of his friends he is known not as Frankic but as George Jean. If yousc guys didn't see dis show, Eddie Poc, yousc is shore lucky, because it was louscy. The acting was lousey; the directing was louscy; the scenery was lousey; but the production (whatever that is) was not so lousey. De show was like dis. Eddie's a poor guy, see. And he's got a sickly spouse, but she kicks de bucket in de foist act and don't make no more dif. LilKe Flinn Ha And Toss "I'd rather be right than president, but I'd rather be May Queen than either," with these stirring-words Lillie Hall, self-styled Sappho of the campus, tossed her laurel wreath into the ring of Carolina politics last Tuesday before an audience assembled in the inner sanctum of the Carolinian office. "Why do I want to be May Queen?" declaimed Miss Hall, "Why do I write poetry?" (loud calls of "Why?" from both of the audience) "I write poetry bccause somewhere back in the tangled threads that mold my destiny there is a strand of solid gold, intermingled in the warp and woof of my fate" (interruption from audience who cry "woof!")?At this point Miss Hall was overcome by her emotion and went into a trance during which she rattled Heads Canned By Czar Chase Hoping to eliminate several useless functions, Registrar Jack "Sunnyboy" Chase has announced that he intends to merge the present officers of president of the University and dean of the college of arts and sciences with the office he now holds. The change will take place immediately. The new office will probably have the title of czar, though Chase said that he would be loath to take such a step. However he claimed that it is only fair to the students and to outsiders that the title lie holds should in some way reflect the scope of his office. 1 Team Is Over By Laval if I had smallpox (Editor's note?subsequent investigation indicates that Mr. Bell has smallpox with complications.) "Practice now consists mainly of reverse English and minor jump shots," Coach Laval told a recent press conference. (Held in the Gamecock Pressing Club.) We expect to get down to business sooti and I am sure that we will have a team that will beat any pool parlor in the main street conference. When askod by a sly Columbia Record reporter, Claude Sapp Brunson, if lie knew enough about billiard to coach the Carolina team, Coach Laval declared with assurance: "Don't worry about me, boys, I'm an old billiard drinker." ed By A j Studef le Cooks s Silliest Show /id De High Brows But Eddy Yoe Of The Shows What I Has 's George Jean Harvin to de blokes in front. Veil, Eddie, he makes oggle eyes at a widow what grot rocks, hut she rings a mouthpiece in salt her dough away for her. Did dis make Kddic hoy mad? He starts in a hittin' de bottle like Corbett hit Sullivan, an' do he get pieeyed. Its a howl. He loses de rich widow, but he takes on a mill'on dollar drunk. De guy got so drunk lie begins to recite poetry, but it warn't half as good as dat I spoken in de mist of my last spree. Eddie den has about de worse case of d. t. s. I ever seed. They was so real dat some of the audience started holler'in for a doc. Parts o* dis scene stumped me dought. Dey had naked footed frails in lung sheets, and a devil playing bootlegger. An' also they was (Continued on Page |; Column t) ills In Slack es Hat In Ring off a sonnet sequence and three or four little jingles in praise of the nothingness of nothing. After regaining consciousness, the forty-second-cousin-once-removed - ofKdna-St. Vincent-Millay continued, "I want to be May Queen because, well, just because I want to be. Besides, if I'm elected the expenses of the coronation will be greatly reduced. You see, I won't have to have a crown." Here M iss Hall's hands fluttered toward her coiffure (head of hair) and the wondering spectators saw the truth of her statement. She braids her golden tresses and wraps them around her cranium in such a way that she constantly wears a tiara of natural gold. (Continued on Paoe 5; Column t) Scholarship Is Given Roberts Carlisle Roberts, professor in the law school was informed yesterday that he was successful in his trial for a Roads Scholarship. The announcement was signed by Judge C. I. Graydon, of the Court of Appeals. The scholarship guarantees two years of full time work on any roads in the State, with articles of food and clothing furnished. Because of the absolute protection afforded by the donars of the scholarship, Mr. Roberts expects to be able to finish some research which he has been conducting on the influence of rounded sticks of Hickory on the hands of a scholar. Jack Leffkov and Frost Walker also tried for the award, hut the donars decided that both young men were too much occupied with their studies here. tr. B. o. Hygiene Course To Have A Lab Dr. Isadoor Shvher, big gun of the hygiene department, has announced that a lab course will he added to supplement his class in what-cvery-manshould-know. He said that there had been great demand for such a course and lie is always in favor of a little good, clean fun. Since the University facilities are so limited at present the lab will be held in a vacant room on Assembly street. Because of the depression and the consequent lack of work he says ("Contlruiod on Pan? 5; Column 4) u. s. * 1 >' In Nu Smith Avers 'Damyankees! Have Erred "Rock" Blames Horry, Darling ton Depressions On Prehistoric Whales Adoring Co-Eds Lister Ancestor Of Bishop Cannon Re forms Animals From State Of Wetness 'Wall Street didn't do it," Dr. L. I, ( Rock Bottom") Smith announced t< his usual circle of clinging co-eds. "No, my children, listen and yo? shall hear," he said, soothing the im patient. "Those deep depressions i. Horry and Darlington counties tha Damyankee geologists say were madby meteors crashing to earth neve happened that way at all. Nor is Wal Street to blame, for once. "It came to pass, about the yeai 25,000 A. B. (Ante Beer), that th< antedeluvian whales had ears, just ai the mammoths had mammies (Witl apologies to Al Jolson), and the uni corns had corns. "Now a school of these whales, ed ucated after their own fashion, cam. '"to th coast of Horry count) and-pricked up their ears," Spellhindei Smith said. "A beautiful palm tree spread it! fronds over the water," (SEE: "A frond in need is a frond indeed), Rocl continued. "In the tree sat a CREA I L/ R E. "Now these innocent young whale) had no foresight, or they would have known the creature in the tree wouh have a 101-dcgrec grandchild namet (Continued on Pa0e 8; Column 2) 17. S. C.. Dean Says That Dean Is Right Claims Cash Soused Up To His Grossest Expectations; Put Poe In Shade "I produced 'Edgar Allan Poe' just to find out for myself if Barnum was really right and I now helieve that I have conclusive proof that the old gentleman spat out a mouthful," admitted Willie Dean, one of the South'; most able producers of the ten-twentthirt type of drama. Woeful Willie, The Wonder Man and his Tomato Players have recently returned from an extended tour of the North, South, East, and West on which they presented their version of the downfall of the plastered poet before some of the largest souses ever to witness the desecration of the drama. On one or two occasions the audience almost outnumbered the cast. The players visited Winthrop, Peoria, Kennebunkport, and Philadelphia. "We stopped over for a day in Pittsburg and had some of the ham smoked," the director coydv ejaculated, Io be perfectly honest, some of the cast got so thoroughly smoked that they were frequently mistaken for runaway slaves or Al Jolson. But to get on with my story. Daily I have been receiving thousands of congratulatory telegrams, notes, billet-doux, unpaid bills, and circulars entitled 'How To Make Your Sparc Time Pay.' All this is very gratifying to me, for it shows that I have not labored in vain. Here is what I consider one of the most touching tributes. It's a little ode written to me by Professor George Armstrong Iliccupp." The verse which is sung to the tunc of "Gallagher and Shean," was as follows: (Continued on Pag? ; Column 1) C. Stu k dist Mot < "Better Sahara ' Than Saloon [ Is Cry i 1 S< Dismissed o rc of d< ht be as sc h,i st to rc 2 Maurice Matteson, director of the s men's glee club, who was recently (|r 1 dismissed from the faculty for giving J}, - a "hot-cha" party without inviting s( faculty members. ^ = Blankety-Blank m Policy Adopted 'Z By Honor Frat 1 ? th ; Hankins Explains Plan to Members Hope Waning Interest Di s In Society Will Be Re- pr( - juvenated Soon l,c 1 : lie , A blanket bid to every male student ...... bo - in tlie I niversity will be issued by the ^ local circle of Oniicron Delta Kappa, internationally known political ring, it M was announced yesterday by president co I oniniy Hankins. Bids will be sent ^ out next Monday and should any stu- . dent be overlooked lie should apply tor . his bid at the Y. M. C. A. lo1 All who desire to accept must apt pear in person before R. G. Bell, fac ulty councilor for the group, sometime between now and the next election. pj; ' He cautions that all those accepting be sure to bring the initiation fee of m< 1 ten cents with them. Until recently Qp the fee was fifteen cents but it was recently lowered in order to attract a t|,. i larger membership. yj Oniicron Delta Kappa was founded to< in 1914 on the mighty banks of the Nile 1 at the Washington and Lee country gri ! club and winter resort in Ol' Virginic. pb : Since its founding it has had a remark- th ably slow and unsuccessful growtli but as! has been able to stick on in a few bai (Continued on Page 5; Column 6) Zilch Floors W In Thrilling Sara ( Rattling Hozo) Williamson, went doi down for the count for the first time in clii her long and colorful career in the ring inp last Saturday night in a bout with the pre Mysterious Mr. Zilch. The fracas was haj I the feature of the gynin dance which re? , seems to have been changed from its usual tor , status as a wrestling match to a wrestling wli match to a boxing bout. sec The Mysterious Mr. Zilch has kept his \ identity well hidden, but it is extremely rec , doubtful that any one who is capable of frc displaying such talent as lie did in the wil , Williamson match can long remain un- of known to his admiring public. put The battle started with a rush by Wil- ort liatnson, a rush which Zilch avoided by cat idents * * * vement Sands Sawdust" Of Collegians )used Carolina Studes Announce To General Assembly Result Of Vote 701 Against Beer nly 49 Students Are In Favor Of Foaming Beverage; Bowden Opposes "Better the Sahara sands than bariotn sawdust" screamcd the banners University of Soused Carolina stu nts as they marched upon the statcnise to present their plea of "no rer" to the members of the general scmbly. Despite all protests from hool authorities the hysterically ippy students danced down Sumter reet in the ecstasy of their dryness announce to the legislature that cord voting showed 1701 students gainst beer and 40 in favor. Led by the city street sprinkler, iven by Claude Martin and Johnny owden, the students swarmed up the ate house steps, their throats dry om screaming of the glories of dry roats. Political minded students imediately arranged a hearing for the archers before the important Senate mmittee on Drinks and Chasers. "Thou shalt not press down a crown pretzels on the brow of students, on shalt not drown mankind in a ug of beer," roared J. Wiley Brown the assembled members of the rinks and Chasers committee. The aphetic words were lost on the memrs whose complete attention was Id by Brown's adamsapple which ibbed up and down like a cocktail aker. Thereupon Miss Nancy Phillips and iss Sarah Mills, disguised as water olers, presented a petition to Senator lcher Burp, chairman of the comittee. The petition was signed by 00 students and 50 members of the ,v school. The memorial read as foliv s: "WHEREAS the stewdents of the liversity of Sorry Ki'lina the memrs of the law school and also those lying on the football team, and, WHEREAS, beer, whiskey, fer;nted liquors, and wines, drunks and en saloons; THEREFORE BE IT RESOLVED it said students will gladly pay you nirsday for a bottle of home brew lay." The reading of the resolution was ceted with a storm of deafening apiuse, said to be the loudest heard in e capitol since the Carpetbagger >embly greeted the opening of the r in the main lobby. (Continued on Paqe 8; Column 2) illiamson | 1 Boxing Bout S ing a rumba to the far corner. They iched, and it was as they were separatf that Zilch lashed out with what wed to be the winning blow. "It all ppened so suddenly that I really didn't ' $3 ilize what was happening," said Hamil\ Warren, herself an old campaigner, io was acting as the Battling Bozo's :ond. Zilch, it was learned to-night, was the :ipient of a congratulatory telegram >m Milledgc Bonehead Third, whom, it 1 be remembered went down before one Williamson's wicked solar-plexus iches last year in one of the most mcmible battles ever staged on the Carolina npus.